Being the first of a series of short pieces of dubious literary merit
following Legolas and Gimli in the Undying Lands. Written purely for (my)
fun between longer pieces.
****
THE MORE THINGS STAY THE SAME
It had been a long day singing and making up poetry at the Elvish Council and, all in all, Legolas was glad to be getting home. He really fancied a glass of wine and an evening spent downloading his emails.
He gave the gold and crystal doorstop, with its ornate design built around three golden hairs, a kick as he passed. One day it would crack.
Gimli was at the computer. He looked happier than Legolas had seen him for some months, his face almost glowing in the light from the monitor. The beard was short - Gimli's recent experiment with the bleach having proved a bad mistake. Legolas liked it – it made the dwarf look younger, although he missed having something to pull on in moments of passion.
That witch Galadriel had probably been hanging around again showing off her language skills. Bazud this and Bura that. Legolas knew she did it because he didn't understand dwarvish. Gimli had tried teaching him but they'd never got past the first lesson of forms of address. Or rather undress. It was, he admitted, a very good language for the bedroom, all grunts and heavy breathing. In any case, Gimli had mastered all the forms of Elvish in about five minutes so it had never seemed worth bothering progressing to the second lesson.
Bloody Galadriel. Let her find her own dwarf. He'd installed an alarm system to try and put her off, but the flashing lights and loud noises it made had reminded her of the time she'd worn the one ring and a scary look had come on her face. Legolas was sure Gimli encouraged her visits to make him jealous. It was quite by accident that Legolas had discovered her allergy to cats. They now had twenty living in the house. Galadriel still visited but her eyes were red and puffy and Legolas quite enjoyed watching her try and stifle her sneezes.
Ha! Well, now after several millennium it was his turn in the limelight. It was petty, but he was enjoying being the centre of attention again after so long. Thank you Bilbo and Frodo for writing that book. Internet connections were so handy for keeping in touch with Middle Earth, although he could see the place had gone to seed in the last thousand years or two.
Legoas was enjoying having the tables turned - for too long his partner had had all the kudos of being the only dwarf around. It had made him complacent. Now Gimli was learning that others saw his lover as attractive. It was like it was when they had first met, with Gimli being all glowering and possessive - and willing to cook too.
Gimli jumped up almost as soon as Legolas entered the room and muttered about fetching him a glass of wine. Legolas took the vacated chair by the computer. He was looking forward to reading the lists. Aragorn. Boromir. Even Frodo, for Varda's sake!
"I'll just read the posts," he said in what he hoped was a casual voice. But was this? Legolas/ Gimli. Legolas/Gimli. Gimli/Legolas. Had the world gone mad? Or had Galadriel been teaching Gimli the intricacies of word processing?
Gimli was singing in the kitchen. He had no difficulty picking out the words, "The posts go ever on and on, down from the screen where they began, I must pick out search and replace, and it will be as we began."
***
Coming soonish…Thranduil comes to dinner and Where shall we go on holiday this year?
****
THE MORE THINGS STAY THE SAME
It had been a long day singing and making up poetry at the Elvish Council and, all in all, Legolas was glad to be getting home. He really fancied a glass of wine and an evening spent downloading his emails.
He gave the gold and crystal doorstop, with its ornate design built around three golden hairs, a kick as he passed. One day it would crack.
Gimli was at the computer. He looked happier than Legolas had seen him for some months, his face almost glowing in the light from the monitor. The beard was short - Gimli's recent experiment with the bleach having proved a bad mistake. Legolas liked it – it made the dwarf look younger, although he missed having something to pull on in moments of passion.
That witch Galadriel had probably been hanging around again showing off her language skills. Bazud this and Bura that. Legolas knew she did it because he didn't understand dwarvish. Gimli had tried teaching him but they'd never got past the first lesson of forms of address. Or rather undress. It was, he admitted, a very good language for the bedroom, all grunts and heavy breathing. In any case, Gimli had mastered all the forms of Elvish in about five minutes so it had never seemed worth bothering progressing to the second lesson.
Bloody Galadriel. Let her find her own dwarf. He'd installed an alarm system to try and put her off, but the flashing lights and loud noises it made had reminded her of the time she'd worn the one ring and a scary look had come on her face. Legolas was sure Gimli encouraged her visits to make him jealous. It was quite by accident that Legolas had discovered her allergy to cats. They now had twenty living in the house. Galadriel still visited but her eyes were red and puffy and Legolas quite enjoyed watching her try and stifle her sneezes.
Ha! Well, now after several millennium it was his turn in the limelight. It was petty, but he was enjoying being the centre of attention again after so long. Thank you Bilbo and Frodo for writing that book. Internet connections were so handy for keeping in touch with Middle Earth, although he could see the place had gone to seed in the last thousand years or two.
Legoas was enjoying having the tables turned - for too long his partner had had all the kudos of being the only dwarf around. It had made him complacent. Now Gimli was learning that others saw his lover as attractive. It was like it was when they had first met, with Gimli being all glowering and possessive - and willing to cook too.
Gimli jumped up almost as soon as Legolas entered the room and muttered about fetching him a glass of wine. Legolas took the vacated chair by the computer. He was looking forward to reading the lists. Aragorn. Boromir. Even Frodo, for Varda's sake!
"I'll just read the posts," he said in what he hoped was a casual voice. But was this? Legolas/ Gimli. Legolas/Gimli. Gimli/Legolas. Had the world gone mad? Or had Galadriel been teaching Gimli the intricacies of word processing?
Gimli was singing in the kitchen. He had no difficulty picking out the words, "The posts go ever on and on, down from the screen where they began, I must pick out search and replace, and it will be as we began."
***
Coming soonish…Thranduil comes to dinner and Where shall we go on holiday this year?