I just couldn't resist writing this. I spent a long time thinking about what their nights in would be like. And wishing I was there. If you like I could make a Girl's Night Out as well. Enjoy and please tell me what you think. Fourth spin-off. I don't own anything, if I did there would be no way JJ would be gone and Emily might be leaving:(
Girl's Night In
The three women of the BAU hadn't had a girl's only night in quiet some time. They had thought about why they hadn't had one in a while, and came up with the excuses that there had been a lot of cases recently, Emily Prentiss had her daughter Rose, Jennifer Jareau, otherwise known as JJ, had her own son Henry, and her 'adopted' stepson Jack Hotchner, and Garcia was too busy doing techy stuff, hanging with Derek Morgan or tying her boyfrined Kevin Lynch to streetlamps with handcuffs she 'borrowed' from Morgan.
The three women decided to have a girl's night this Friday. They would be congregating at Emily's place, like a party to say goodbye to her apartment before her and her husband Mick and their daughter moved to their new house out in the country or as Garcia called it the 'wilderness.'
Emily was in charge of snacks, Garcia alcohol, and JJ DVDs. Emily had said they could use hers, but the other women had said that watching Star Wars or Back To The Future on a girl's night in wasn't their idea of fun. Emily denied she had Back To The Future, but Garcia made a search and found no such DVD. But she did find an old Batman movie that was nearly worse.
Garcia also brought the manicure and pedicure equipment, she was like a drunk travelling stylist when she showed up at Emily's place. She had four bottles of wine, two bottles of vodka, three cases of beer, and a bottle of tequila.
JJ brought four DVDs, all chick flicks. Emily bought popcorn, choclate, chips, more chocolate and for some reason soda which was stupid because there was no way Garcia would let any of them leave sober. Emily hunted Mick away, and he took Rose to his late sister's house, so Rose could visit her cousins. At eight, they were all set up and ready to go. Emily popped the DVD in, JJ made the popcorn and Garcia poured the drinks. They tasted awful, you'd think a member of the FBI would know better than to mix wine and tequila in the same glass. Afraid of getting alcohol poisoning, Emily and JJ got their own drinks ofr the rest of the night.
They watched the whole of the first DVD completely in utter silence. Garcia shushed anyone who even opened their mouth to breathe, because the leading man looked a little like Morgan. If they wanted to actually watch the movie they would have gone to the cinema.
The second movie had a less handsome leading man and she let them talk during it. They talked about the usual girl stuff, men, shoes, clothes, a little bit of work and then back to men. ''Ok, so seeing as this is a girl's night,'' Garcia began.
''If this is a girl's night then why are you here?'' Emily joked. JJ laughed along with her but they were silenced by a death stare from Garcia. ''Ok, both of you are officially going to be internet mockerys.''
''Aww come on Pen you wouldn't do that,'' JJ drawled, flicking a piece of popcorn into the air but missing her mouth. ''Dam it usually works.''
''No this is how you do it,'' Emily demonstrated, flicking a piece of popcorn up but it landed behind the couch.
''Mine was better,'' JJ boasted, trying, and failing, again.
''Oh my little ducks, THIS is how you do it,'' Garcia said, flicking a piece of popcorn up, but she missed too.
''Great example Pen,'' Emily said, earning herself a fistful of popcorn hurled at her face. ''Oh and yours was much better. It landed so close to your mouth,'' Garcia said sarcastically. Emily threw some popcorn back at her. ''Leave me alone,'' she playfully whimpered, and shuffled over to JJ. ''JJ, she's bullying me.''
''Pen leave her alone,'' JJ instructed, trying the popcorn thing again, but once again missing. ''Dam why can't I do it tonight?''
Emily tried again but missed too. ''Ok this popcorn is defective,'' she commented after her fifth go.
''A bad workman blames his tools Em,'' Garcia said cockily, flicking a piece up but she too missed it.
''Maybe we should do something else. This is getting annoying,'' JJ said but her friends didn't take her advice. ''There is no way I'm stopping Jay until I get this popcorn in my mouth!'' Emily said, trying again and again.
''Or you could just do this,'' JJ said picking up a piece of discarded popcorn and shoving it down Emily's mouth. ''I mean properly Jay.''
''Me too. I am going to get this in!'' Garcia added.
''I bet I can do it before you,'' Emily wagered. She got awfully competitive. But Garcia was just as competitive. ''What do I get when I win?''
''When I win, I get to make a cocktail for you and you have to drink it. And you can't put that stuff on the internet about me and JJ.''
''Deal, but if I win, I get to make the cocktail and what I was originally planning for you goes ten times worse.''
''Deal.''
''Spit on it?''
''Eww gross!'' JJ said. ''Please don't do that!''
''Ok JJ we won't. Ok count down from three and we'll start,'' Emily ordered. JJ did as she was told and began the countdown. The two competitors quickly flicked popcorn in the air but failing. They got faster and faster, but their haste made their throws off target. Emily's floor was getting littered with popcorn. Occasionly, a piece would brush off the side of their mouths, but never going fully in. JJ's eyes flicked from Emily to Garcia, and back again. It was actually fascinating. Eventually Emily won. She caught the popcorn in her mouth, jumped up and dragged JJ up with her doing a happy dance. She started jumpimg and then started choking. ''Em what's wrong?'' JJ asked, as her hands went to Emily who had started turning blue.
''Popcorn, got stuck, choking,'' Emily mumbled. She started coughing and getting even bluer.
''JJ what do we do?''
''Uh Heimlich Maneouvere?''
''What's that again?''
''I don't know! I wish we had Reid!''
''Uh guys, choking here!'' Emily spluttered, falling on the floor. Garcia went over to Emily and picked the slim profiler off the floor. She brought her to her feet and smacked her straight on the back, so hard it created a noise. Emily spat the popcorn out and it landed on the ground in front of her. ''Eugh,'' JJ said in disgust. ''You ok Em?''
''Not really. I just got a piece of popcorn stuck in my windpipe and the only way to get it out was a hard slap to the back. That hurt Pen!''
''Sorry, I couldn't think of anything else,'' Garcia apologised.
''I think there's a bruise,'' Emily said rubbing her sore back.
''Here I'll check,'' JJ said walking behind Emily and lifting up the back of her shirt to examine her back.
''And you wonder why Strauss thinks you're lesbians,'' commented Garcia and flipped put her phone and took a picture.
''Hey I won the bet! You can't put anything of us on the internet!''
''Oh this my lovelies is for my own personal enjoyment,'' Garcia smirked.
''So is there a bruise JJ?'' Emily asked.
''Ya and a fairly big one too. Look at what you did Garcia!'' Garcia shuffled over to admire her handiwork. ''Wow, I even amaze myself sometimes. I don't care what you say Em, I am taking a picture of this to show anyone what'll happen if they mess with me.''
''I don't care. Can one of you just get me some water?'' she coughed.
''Of course little doggy.'' She walked over to Emily's kitchen while Emily and JJ just looked at each other. ''Did she call me a dog?'' Emily whispered.
''I think so,'' JJ whispered back.
''Weird.'' Garcia arrived back over then with a glass of clear liquid. Emily downed what she thought was water in one go, but quickly realised her mistake as it burned her throat. She spit it back out and tore into Garcia. ''I said water! Not vodka!'' She began trying to get the taste of vodka completely out of her mouth but it wouldn't work.
''Em, it's girl's night. You can't not drink alcohol,'' Garcia pointed out.
''You could have at least told me it was vodka before I swallowed every drop!''
''You should have sipped it.''
''Oh I give up! Ok JJ can you get me some water? And actual water, not vodka.''
JJ who was laughing over in the corner agreed and went to get her drink. Emily and Garcia sat back down on the couch, Emily keeping her distance from an amused Garcia. JJ arrived back with her drink. They watched about twenty minutes of the movie in silence before boredom struck again. ''So JJ, what's it like living with Hotch?'' Garcia inquired.
''Ya what is it like living with Hotch?'' Emily added. JJ was left gawking back at them open-mouted. She could go on T.V. to thousands of people but sitting in front of her two best friends who wanted to know about her social life was a bit more daunting. ''Nice,'' was her answer.
''Nice? JJ, pizza is nice. Wendy a few desks over from Emily is nice. Living with someone can't be described as nice. You're not a preschooler, you know other adjectives other than 'nice' and 'bad'. Be creative JJ,'' Garcia ordered.
''And descriptive,'' Emily added in.
''Oh ya. Use your words JJ. Use the power of the English language to your advantage!''
JJ was bit thrown off by Garcia's exuberance, and the only answer she could muster was ''Very nice?'' Emily hung her head in frustration and sighed, while Garcia totally flipped. ''Very nice? Very nice! JJ, come on! Give us something! You went to college! You know words! At the moment Rose is smarter than you!''
''Ok, really nice.''
''JJ! Are you trying to piss me off? Cause if you are, it's working, and you're doing a great job, good work, but if you're not seriously! Come on JJ, please!''
''Ok, ok, calm down. It's great. He's really sweet, has an amazing house, Jack and Henry get on so well it's like they're brothers, and he actually has a sense of humour. He leaves me in stitches actually. That ok?''
''Satisfactory.''
''I can't believe Hotch leaves you in stitches. It's Hotch! He hardly ever smiles, never mind cracks a joke. That's a lie. Why are you lying JJ? It's bad to lie, stop lying,'' Emily dictated.
''I'm not lying. It's true.''
''Ya right. And next thing we know Reid'll have a six-pack and Morgan's a virgin,'' commented Garcia.
''That sounds so wrong,'' Emily stated slowly. ''Ewww.''
''Since I was subjected to verbal abuse by Penelope, it's my turn now. So Pen, what's it like with Kevin?'' she asked happily, leaning in closer and opening her eyes wide so she would look really interested.
''Oh you don't want to know,'' Garcia smirked to herself.
''Yes we do actually. Tell us,'' Emily smiled, now focusing on Garcia too. She had a slight smile on her face and had her head rested on her fist, and made that look with her brown eyes that made you think that she was really interested, and interested in you only. They seemed to almost sparkle. ''Oh go on Pen, we won't judge you,'' JJ smiled. Together sitting side by side, to an outsider they'd look really innocent. But Garcia knew better. So she told them the truth.
She launched into a long, descriptive story about what her and Kevin did together. It was a very disturbing and scary story, Garcia sure had some weird fetishes. By the end, both Emily and JJ were scared, disturbed, and very, very cold. ''There so that's it. That enough?'' she smirked.
''Sa..sati..satisfactory,'' JJ stammered, staring into space. Her eyes were wide and pale, and she looked like she had seen a ghost. Emily was the same. JJ actually shivered. ''Ok Em's turn now. What's Mick like?''
It took Emily a while to recover from her ordeal, but after she did she laughed and tried to change the conversation away from her. ''Oh you don't want to know about me.''
''Yes we do. Come on Em, I did it, Pen did..it, you have to do it,'' informed JJ.
''Ok, everything I ever wanted. A stable family life that actually involves staying in one place for at least a year, Mick is the best thing that ever happened to me, Rose is just a dream, she is like the perfect child, everything is great.''
''Aww, I am so happy for you Em!'' JJ smiled.
''There has to be something bad in your life. It can't be perfect. What is the one thing that you would change about your life?'' Garcia asked.
''You,'' Emily replied. JJ laughed with her. ''So would I, you can get annoying Pen,'' she agreed.
''But in a loveable way right?''
''Right, we love you really Pen,'' Emily reassured her.
''Yay! And I love you my feathery, fluffy primates!'' Emily and Garcia just looked at each other. It was so Garcia.
After Garcia and JJ left, Emily rang Mick and told him he could home. She had a great time, after everything had calmed down it became a more normal girl's night, and Emily always loved them. It was hilarious when she made the cocktail for Garcia. At first she drank it and pretended everything was fine. But no-one could be fine after drinking a cocktail of wine, vodka, tequila, yoghurt, cough medicine, chocolate syrup and vinegar. She got sick twenty minutes later. But as fun as it was, Emily hadn't hugged Rose in over four hours, and she missed her.
After Mick and Emily put Rose to bed, Emily and Mick sat on the couch finishing the beer Garcia brought over. ''So how was your girl's night?'' Mick asked.
''Great, it's nice to just chat with girls sometimes,'' she answered, smiling at him.
''Am I not good enough?''
''You know that's not what I meant. I love you and I love every second with you, but it's still nice to have girl time. And anyway, you wouldn't want to hear some of the things we talk about.''
''What kind of things? If you say shoes I swear to god-''
''Not shoes. This.'' She whispered into Mick's ear what Garcia told them about Kevin. She watched as his mouth grew wider and wider. ''Wow that was...interesting. But that second part does sound like fun,'' he smiled slyly.
''It does. Wanna try it?''
''Hell ya.'' He took her into his arms and carried her upstairs, and on into the bedroom.