Title: The Day Before

Authors: Invderlava and Seiaa

Rating: PG for endangerment to Super Heroes (Note: Chapter ratings will vary)

Characters/Pairing: Megamind, Roxanne, Metro Man, Minion, Warden, Mayor, various others, and a few OCs; Megamind/Roxanne

Summary: The day before Metro Man Day, a different kind of supervillain attacks Metro City. When Metro Man is drastically injured, only the city's resident criminal mastermind can save the day... and Metro Man's life.

Authors' Note: Super Special thanks to Threequarterfox and Arrowtibbs on LJ for being awesome betas!

To say that Metro Man would have never been able to guess the outcome of the day's events would have been an understatement.

It had started out predictably enough. He'd woken up, gotten ready for the day, and had stopped three attempted burglaries, five car accidents, and prevented two buildings from burning down- all before he'd even had the opportunity to eat breakfast. Which was all fairly routine for him at this stage in his career.

His career…. He sighed, pulling a small calico kitten from a tree and handing it to the little girl down below. She took the kitten into her arms and looked up at him with starstruck eyes. "Thank you, Metro Man!" she gushed, hugging the kitten tightly to her chest as she swayed back and forth.

Metro Man reflexively smiled his trademark smile at her before it softened into something more sincere. "You're welcome, little citizen! Next time try to keep your Rhino out of the trees and sticking to the natural habitat of little kittens! Goodbye, and stay safe!" He waved at her before he took off into the air, leaving her behind to cuddle her kitten, oblivious to the fact that her hero's smile had fallen off his face once more.

He wasn't really sure just what it was that he'd been feeling recently. He should feel excited- he was getting a museum dedicated to him the next day! That was super cool, and he was extremely grateful, but he just couldn't really muster up any sort of anticipation for the event when he thought about it.

The only thing that got him even a little excited was the idea that maybe, just maybe, his little buddy would have something special cooked up for the whole thing. Megamind was in jail currently, but he was sure to break out for the occasion.

Something huge and flashy, something challenging, something... extraordinary. That was exactly what he needed, and he hoped Megamind would deliver.

Suddenly, there was a dip in the ambient noise around him, and he immediately paused in the air, tensing- before an explosion rocked the outskirts of the west side of downtown and Metro Man immediately zoomed off towards the disturbance. As he passed by the screaming and panicking citizens, he thought furiously on who it could be causing the destruction. There was no way it was Megamind, for the supervillain would never have set off an explosion in a populated area. Not an uncontrolled one anyway. Not to mention the fact that he wouldn't want to get caught today and waste the opportunity to try and ruin the dedication tomorrow.

The superhero didn't know who to expect when he approached the origin of the explosion. Most supervillains besides Megamind hardly ever attacked Metro City (and Metro Man had his suspicions as to why that was, considering he very rarely even fought any of the villains from the Doom Syndicate). But when he arrived and saw only a normal looking man standing in the center of the debris, his back to the hero, Metro Man slowly set his feet down among the rubble. He peered around, noticing that the explosion didn't seem to have been caused by a standard bomb, and, examining the man in front of him, the hero noted that he was completely unarmed.

Oookay, so what caused the explosion? Metro Man wondered, furrowing his brow.

"Excuse me, citizen," he began.

The man jerked violently, obviously startled, and his whole body lit up. Metro Man's eyes widened and he flew back several feet as the man twisted around to glare at him. He almost seemed to be glowing. Scratch that, he was glowing.

Not just his eyes, which would imply that he had some kind of laser vision, but his entire being was surrounded by an unnatural orange glow, most of it concentrated at his hands and eyes. It almost looked like fire. A strange sort of glowing, pulsing fire, but it was the only way Metro Man could think to describe it to himself.

"Metro Man!" the illuminated man growled, crouching low like a cornered animal.

The hero was a little confused as to why this man seemed angry at him, and he did not like where this was going. However, the city was in trouble and he would protect it.

"Citizen," he tried to start again, but the man interrupted once more.

"My name is Evan- I mean," the man backtracked. "It's Plasma Blade, Metro Man! Not citizen! You think you're so great, but you don't put any effort into knowing who you protect in your precious city, do you?" His words were punctuated by a burst of power, the orange aura extending outward from his body even more.

Metro Man could feel the hairs on the nape of his neck standing on edge, and he found himself floating back further. He paused for a moment before deciding to handle the situation with more caution than he usually employed when dealing with supervillains.

There was something about this guy that left him feeling extremely wary, and Metro Man was not the type of man to ignore his gut when it told him something.

"It's not possible to know everyone's name in the city, Ev- Plasma Blade," Metro Man told him with a reasonable tone, using the second name to try to keep him placated. His hands moved on their own accord in front of him to form a 'calm down' gesture.

Plasma Blade paused for a moment, seeming to consider this, and the glow around him dimmed slightly. "Well that's true I suppose..." he said, trailing off with a sudden frown. "But that's not the point!" he exclaimed, the strange fire flaring around him again. "The point is that you think that you're so amazing, but you don't think about how you and your actions affect others' lives!"

Metro Man frowned in complete bewilderment. "What have I done that's affected your life? I've never seen you before today!"

"That's exactly it!" the man shouted, taking a few steps forward. "You just do whatever you want all the time, all in the name of 'justice', but you don't even think about the repercussions!"

"Of course I do!" the hero retorted, offended at the mere suggestion. "I'm always careful when I'm saving the city. I know that the fights can get destructive if they get out of hand-"

"No, no, NO!" Plasma Blade screamed, and a blast of the strange fire shot from his hands and eyes towards Metro Man's direction.

Metro Man didn't even think before he dodged to the right of the blast, avoiding it like the plague, his hands clenching tightly in a spasmodic twitch.

As Evan shuddered over his use of energy, the hero wondered about his own instantaneous reaction. He barely had any time to think on it however, before the villain was shaking off the effects and focusing once more entirely on him.

Several more shots of the odd fire were sent his way and Metro Man dodged every single one quickly and effortlessly. Despite the recoil and slight delay the man seemed to go through every time he used his power, he was very fast. Not as fast as Metro Man of course, but still.

It seemed as if this villain was a tougher human being than Metro Man had ever encountered before.

The blasts were becoming more frequent and even more erratic as the man's rage seemed to grow. The pavement beneath their feet was suffering and so were the surrounding buildings. Luckily, the whole area had seemed to have been evacuated, but Metro Man grew increasingly worried about the potential casualties.

"You should really be more careful about where you throw that fire, Ev-Plasma Blade!" the hero shouted.

The villain stopped and stared at him for a long moment, panting from the overexertion, before letting out a high pitched indignant shriek that even Megamind would have been proud of. "It's not FIRE, it's PLASMA!"

The shots became even more frequent and Metro Man groaned inwardly.

He wanted this over with as soon as possible. So in the split moment Plasma Blade's glow dimmed once more in preparation for another blast, Metro Man ceased being on the defensive and dashed in, pulling his right arm back, preparing a punch strong enough to knock the man out but not enough to excessively hurt him.

Evan's face was contorted in a viscous snarl, and even as the hero swung forward with his calculated force, the plasma charged up once more.

His fist connected with Plasma Blade's face the same time the last blast exploded from the villain's hands, striking Metro Man in the chest at point-blank-range.

Metro Man gasped for breath as the villain flew a short distance and crashed against the ground, finally losing consciousness. The hero floated down slowly, clutching at his chest and hunching over from shock and pain. That last shot that the villain managed to get through had been a doozy. He'd had a bad feeling all throughout the battle, but now…. His senses were screaming at him that something was definitely Not Right.

Panting lightly, he walked on the ground to where the villain had fallen, unconscious from exhaustion and the blow. Metro Man leaned down and grabbed him, holding his wrists together in case the plasma powered man regained consciousness mid-flight. The hero did not want to be subjected to another dose of the villain's plasmic energy.

As Metro Man took to the air, he swallowed heavily. His muscles were twitching and he felt overheated, beads of sweat trailing down the sides of his face and jaw. He was growing increasingly worried about his state of health, especially when he found himself, for lack of a better word, stumbling mid-air as he flew.

He had to get Plasma Blade into police custody before whatever it was that was happening to him made him lose control of himself. He'd never been sick before, but he'd always worried that if he ever did he would lose control of his powers, sneezing and activating his laser eyes, crushing things without ever knowing he was doing it…

His mind was becoming fuzzy. He could no longer remember when he'd managed to make it to a police officer and hand the villain to them. He blinked hard, trying to focus his vision. Metro Man could hear the officer talking, but he couldn't process what it was they were saying. He managed to procure a weak grin from somewhere, saying… something to the officer, something hopefully reassuring and not suspicious.

He had to get home. He would get home, crawl into bed, sleep whatever this was off, and he would be fine in the morning. Until then, he had to keep everyone calm and unaware. Easy.

Metro Man said goodbye to the officers and jumped into the air.

He immediately came crashing down.

He could no longer hear the panicking voices of those around him, or even the feel of the ground below him. All he could concentrate on were the wracking pains coursing through his body and the pounding in his skull. He curled into himself, whimpering from the unbelievable pain.

What was happening to him? How could a last desperate attack from a superpowered villain cause him so much trouble? This had never happened before; nothing had ever hurt him like this before….

Tears were brought to his eyes as he attempted one last fight to wrestle the pain to manageable levels, his hands digging deep into the concrete below.

The agony reached a crescendo before he knew no more.

Chief Gregory Quimby of the Metro City Police Department was disturbed from his concentration of trying to stick a modified paperclip paper airplane into the ceiling when the phone on his desk began to ring. Startled, he dropped his plane and lost his balance in his tipped back chair, the front legs slamming back to the ground. After catching his breath from the slight adrenalin, he snatched the phone off the hook.

"What?" he snapped into the receiver, leaning down to grab the paper from the ground. It had slipped underneath his desk.

"Chief!" cried a panicked officer on the other end. Quimby couldn't tell who it was. "Chief, Metro Man has collapsed!"

There was a loud THUNK as Quimby tried to jerk upright, hitting the back of his head on the desk. He swore up a storm, holding the phone against his jacket and his free hand against his head. After a moment as the pain dulled, he brought the phone back up to his mouth, speaking lowly. He couldn't have heard what he thought he did.

"Say that again?"

"M-M..." the poor officer began again, stuttering. "Metro Man collapsed, Chief!"

Quimby pulled the phone away from his face and stared incredulously at the receiver in his hand. Metro Man didn't collapse. He was... Well, he was Metro Man. The officer was saying "Chief? Chief!" and Quimby put the phone back to his ear.

"What happened?" he demanded, already standing. "Where are you? Is anyone else there?"

The police chief began grabbing his things as the panicked officer on the other end of the line spoke. "There was some guy terrorizing the city and he brought him to us unconscious. Then he went to fly away but he… he fell! And he's not movin' or anything!"

Quimby returned to swearing. "I'll say it again. Where. Are. You?"

"B-by the old docks on the east side," the officer said, still obviously panicking. "Chief, what should we do?"

The chief stopped, unsure. What should they do? What could they do? This situation was unprecedented, and he had no idea how to continue. It was Metro Man, he thought helplessly, feeling like a lost child.

It occurred to him in that moment that his reaction, and those of his officers at the scene, would be magnified exponentially if the citizens of Metro City got word of what had happened. There would be mass panic, and chaos in the streets. Everyone would be terrified. He knew he was.

Greg Quimby took a shaky breath and made a decision.

"Try to keep calm," he ordered the officer on the other end, trying to remember his name. "Get Metro Man out of the public eye, and don't inform any press who show up what happened. Keep everything quiet, do you understand me?"

"But… but Chief-"

"Officer Johnson, this is of the utmost importance. Do you understand me?" Quimby interrupted, infusing his voice with as much urgency as he could, trying to make things clear.

The line was quiet for a brief moment before "Yes, sir. I'll get on it right away," came through, in a significantly more calm voice than before. Quimby had a feeling that Johnson was relieved that he had someone elses orders to follow. He wished he could be that lucky.

"Good. See that you do," he said before he reached over and hung the phone back in its cradle on his desk, leaving Johnson on his own with a small group of panicked officers and two unconscious superpowered men to deal with.

Quimby stared blankly down at the wood of his desk. What next? he thought, before he picked the phone up again, dialing. He brought it up to his ear.

"I need to talk to the mayor."

The Mayor of Metro City sat at his over-sized desk in City Hall, concentrating intently on the task at hand. He moved a stack of forms to the tall tower of documents and other important papers sitting to his left, then he added a few official letters to the smaller stack of papers on his right.

Finally, everything was in place.

He reached towards the top of the tall stack of papers to his left and WOOSH Metro Man The Action Figure came swooping down into action! "Fear not helpless citizens of Metro City! I'll save you!" the Mayor said, doing his best to imitate the deep heroic voice of Metro Man.

His free hand darted out and grabbed the paper clip holder, bringing it to the center of the stage. He rattled it. "Oh look!" he squeaked. "It's Metro Man! We're saved~! Yaaaay~!" the paper clip citizens exclaimed.

The large blue eraser sitting on the other stack of paper suddenly leapt to its nonexistent feet. It had an angry face drawn on it in sharpie, along with a goatee. "Oh no! It's Metro Man!" exclaimed the Megamind eraser, looking to the Evil Goldfish Cracker Minion at his side. "We've lost! RUN AWAAAAAYYYYY~!"

As the cracker and eraser made a break for it, suddenly Metro Man The Action Figure leapt in their way. "Not so fast, Megamind. You're going to jail where you belong!"

And with that the action figure scooped up the offenders and carried them over the desk drawer, dropping them inside and slamming it shut. He flew back to the paper clip citizens and stood triumphant.

"Once again the day is saved~!" the Mayor exclaimed with delight, leaning back in his chair, kicking his feet happily.

"Mr. Mayor?"

The Mayor yelped, throwing his arms over his desk, reflexively trying to hide the Action Figure but only managing to knock over the piles of paperwork-turned-skyscrapers. The papers spilled onto the floor, spreading out around the desk.

It was all for nothing, as the voice of his secretary had only come through the intercom and she could not see him anyway.

The Mayor blushed, embarrassed by his overreaction, and pushed the button on the intercom. "Yes?"

"Chief Quimby is on line three for you. It sounds urgent," she told him, her voice tinny from the speaker.

"Right, thank you." He pushed the button for line three. "Yes, Chief?" he asked as he put the Action Figure and paper clip holder in the same drawer as the eraser and the Goldfish.

"Mayor," came Quimby's voice, "you need to know that if the information I'm about to tell you got out to the public, there would be mass hysteria among the citizens."

The Mayor stared at the phone. "Uh," he said. He felt like he was in a spy movie. "Noted, Chief."

"Metro Man collapsed by the docks on the east side of town."

The Mayor blinked. Then he blinked again.

He laughed. Loudly and nervously. "Now, Chief, that's not a very funny joke."

There was dead silence on the other end of the line.

"You're... not joking?" the little man asked, incredulous.

"I haven't gone down there yet. I think we should both head over," Quimby said on the other end of the line. "I'll come by and pick you up. We'll attract less attention in my cruiser than your limo."

The Mayor stared at the phone for a long time. "I... of course, Chief."

"I'll be there in five," the man said before he hung up.

The Mayor of Metro City stared at the phone before leaning forward again to hang it up. He sat there, shell shocked, not quite sure what to do. It hadn't sunken in. It couldn't really be happening. Could it?

He reached down and opened the drawer, looking at the action figure as it lay there, face down where it fell.

Morning dawned brightly in Metro City, sun rising, the sky clear and beautiful, but Minion was too busy preparing everything for that day's evil plan to go outside and admire it. He'd woken up at an ungodly hour to go set up the Observatory, taking a few Brain Bots- Painter Designation- with him to speed up the process of painting the huge red X on the floor. (He still had red paint staining the bottom of his feet, annoyingly enough, even after his attempts to clean it off.)

As he herded the Brain Bots not being used for the plan into their designated area so they wouldn't destroy anything while he was out, he double checked his mental list of things to prepare for, making sure he hadn't missed anything.

The watch had been sent and was nearly at the prison according to the UPS shipment tracker, the proper Brain Bots knew what their jobs were (some of them having taken far too long to be wrestled into their disguises), the dirigible Smoke Machine was inflated and completely prepared for use, the Death Ray's position above the Earth had been calculated and was correct, the fake observatory was all set up (including Miss Ritchi's chair), the alligators had been fed and moved to the tank underneath the chair, and both Plan B and an escape route were all planned out, just in case.

He hoped he wasn't forgetting anything as he grabbed the keys to the invisible car, gesturing for the disguised Brain Bots to get in the back seat. He set a box of doughnuts on the floor of the passenger side as he sat down. All that was left to do was drop off the Brain Bots, kidnap Miss Ritchi, and go get the boss.

Minion put car in gear and smiled, thinking, I've got a feeling that today's gonna be a good day.

In the lobby of Metro City General Hospital was the Mayor, getting his fifth cup of coffee. His face was creased with stress and lack of sleep, and his suit was disheveled. There were very few people around him, only the receptionist at the front desk who paid no attention to him and the occasional intern walking through.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to relax, before he downed his coffee. He wondered how Quimby was doing out there, trying to keep everything covered up, but he couldn't worry much about that, what with all his concentration on Metro Man's condition and the updates on what the doctors could make of it.

No one had any idea what was wrong with the hero. The doctors had no way to check his health, as Metro Man was immune to x-rays and scanners and all those other procedures that the Mayor didn't understand.

The superman was just… unconscious. And in pain. Which was the main thing everyone was worrying about. Metro Man didn't feel pain. He just… he didn't.

He also didn't collapse in the street, the Mayor thought, despairing of the situation.

He had no idea what to do, and if he thought too hard about it he would start to panic. That was the reason he had agreed with Quimby's decision to keep everything quiet for now. The Mayor knew as well as the Chief that Metro Man's presence was what kept things in order in the city. He wondered if they all relied on the hero too much.

The Mayor took another long drink of his coffee as his mind started down another panic-inducing path. What if Megamind found out? What would he do?

Why, he would take over the city and turn all the citizens into a slave army! March them across the States, taking over and being... evil! He would probably turn them all into piggies!

The mayor paused. Could Megamind turn anyone into a pig? That seemed too magical for him. But it was so EVIL that he must be able to! Or worse turn them all into robots. Or robot PIGS!

The little man quickly took another drink of coffee and decided to buy a box of doughnuts. As he munched on one on his way back up the elevator to the waiting room, a horrible thought occurred to him. He stared at the pastry in his hand. What if Megamind turned them all into DOUGHNUTS? And fed them to his army of giant robot piranhas? ...The Mayor decided that he would be a delicious doughnut.

Stepping out of the elevator and into the waiting room, he moved to the desk and the woman manning it. "Any updates on Patient 5243?" he asked her, using the designated number because she wasn't aware of who it was. His hands clutched at the box and cup of coffee.

She shook her head at him and his hopeful face fell. "Not since you went downstairs, Mr. Mayor."

"Right, thank you," he said, morose. He wandered over to the chairs, lost in his panicky thoughts. He'd been fretting over the repercussions of the current situation all night, and he felt strung out. He gulped down the rest of coffee and slouched in his seat, pulling out another doughnut. As he took a bite, he looked up at the TV hanging from the wall across the room. Someone had changed the channel to the local news station while he'd been downstairs.

"Happy Metro Man Day, Metro City!"

Doughnut crumbs spewed all the way across to the other set of chairs. Coughing, the Mayor stared in horror at Roxanne Ritchi, reporting live from downtown in front of the Metro Man Museum.

He'd forgotten about the museum dedication.

When Roxanne awoke to a bag over her head and the sound of muffled evil laughter, she immediately started to wonder why she hadn't jumped into the van as soon she'd gotten done with her report. She'd seen this kidnapping coming. Honestly, dedicating a museum to Metro Man was like sending an engraved invitation to Megamind for him to do evil things. One of them being him kidnapping her.

She struggled halfheartedly in Minion's ironclad but gentle grip, swearing at them both. Then, she was sat in the Kidnappee chair and she waited, and waited some more. She groaned in frustration. The bag really smelled quite rancid and he was probably sitting there...grooming his eyebrows or something!

When the bag finally came off, Megamind turned in his chair slowly, petting a Brain Bot. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

What happened next was as per usual. He wanted her to scream and she wouldn't scream. One of his Brain Bots bit him. He tried to scare her with various and assorted evil devices and she wasn't scared.

Roxanne finally heaved an exasperated sigh as the little blue alien's face was smashed in by Minion's robotic hand swatting at the spider Roxanne had blown into the genius' eye.

She eyed his crumpled form in what could only be described as frustrated sympathy as Minion, in his several-hundred pound robotic gorilla suit, also tried to step on the spider as it escaped down the villain's body.

Shaking her head, she hunched her shoulders and leaned downward to make sure he heard her while he writhed from the stomp to his... lower extremities. "Just give it up Megamind. Your plans. Never. Work.

Surprisingly, Megamind made a quick recovery and leapt to his feet. He looked... almost hurt. Not in the "my male alien parts, whatever they may be, just got stepped on by a robot" kind of way but in an actual emotional sort of way.

She couldn't have actually hurt his feelings, could she?

"Let's just call your boyfriend in tights, shall we?" he demanded, seemingly doing his best to retain his composure.

Then, the Brain Bot that had bitten him before, and was subsequently flung somewhere in the air, finally fell. Onto his hand. With its teeth.

Roxanne actually winced as Megamind let out what was definitely not a Poor Lady Scream, but a very Good Lady Scream.

The Mayor very nervously got onto the platform before the crowded plaza, stepping behind his podium. He looked out into the massive gathering and gulped.

It wasn't often he felt this nervous before a crowd, having long since gotten used to the sensation, but this was a special, and rather terrifying, case.

He cleared his throat into the microphone, and the plaza grew quiet, anticipating the dramatic arrival of their wonderful and adored hero.

The Mayor took a deep breath to try to fortify himself and lie to thousands of people.

But before he could get a word out, screams erupted from the back of the crowd and several villainous and instantly recognisable Brain Bots flew towards the museum. The also very familiar giant black smoke cloud appeared behind the statue, rising up higher and higher until it obscured the sky above them completely.

The Mayor hated his life.

He watched with overwhelming dread as the last ray of sunshine disappeared and Megamind's Evil Visage was projected onto the walls of the museum.

"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- … ha... ah? Eh?" the villain exclaimed and then trailed off upon seeing a distinct lack of Metro Man present on Metro Man Day outside of the Metro Man Museum in Metro City.

He leaned forward towards the screen until the citizens gathered in the square could only see one large green eye peering around.

"Metro Maaan? Ollooo?" he called, as if he thought Metro Man would really be hiding from him. "Olly olly ozai free~!"

There was an odd snorfle noise in the background that sounded suspiciously like Roxanne Ritchi choking on her own spit.

Megamind pulled back and looked down at the Mayor. "Where is he!" the villain demanded, and the Mayor cringed behind his podium.

"Uh... uh..." the small man tried to say, "Unfortunately, he, uh. Couldn't make it. Because of a, uh. Family... emergency?" He cringed as he realized that last part had come out sounding like a question.

Megamind didn't seem to notice the slip up, thankfully.

"WHAT?" the villain screeched, causing the microphone to squeal and one of the Brain Bots to rattle from the vibration within its little speakers. "How... how rude!" he declared, spluttering.

The Mayor shrank back further, trying to hide beneath the podium at this point. "Y-yes, well..." he began, but Megamind was too busy ranting to listen, so the Mayor shut up.

The citizens of Metro City could only stare in confusion and fear as Megamind paced back and forth on the screen, throwing his hands in the air. He grumbled to himself and he yelled at no one in particular.

Roxanne Ritchi could be seen sitting in the background, tied to her usual Kidnappee chair, shaking her head and looking as bored as ever.

The back rows of the crowd started to slowly back away but froze as the villain suddenly grabbed a hold of the camera again and his face filled the screen. "Well you tell Metro Mahn when he comes back that if he ever wants to see Roxanne Ritchi alive again, he'll... he'll come back! And then... LEAVE again!"

He stared at them all intently, green eyes darting back and forth, indignant. "SO THERE!" he exclaimed loudly before the screens suddenly turned to static.

The Mayor heaved a slightly sigh of relief and topped over behind his podium, rolling slightly.

They were safe. For now.

He stood up, feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders... before he turned around and saw the thousands of faces staring at him with confusion.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S NOT HERE?" cried out a random citizen.

After he had switched off the camera feed and sent the signal for the Brain Bots to return to the lair, Megamind slumped slightly, staring at his console in consternation.

Suddenly, he straightened his back and spun around, his bravado returning as he faced his kidnapped reporter. "Well, Miss Ritchi, it seems your hero has more important things to do than rescue you!"

Roxanne just gave him an unimpressed look and he fidgeted for a moment before he continued, "Of course, a family emergency is...an emergency and of course very important, but HMPH-we'll just have to wait! You're lucky that I have immeasurable patience!"

Roxanne snorted out right at that and Minion put his robotic hand on the back of her chair. "Don't worry Miss Ritchi, I'm sure it won't be too long."

Roxanne smiled slightly despite everything. "Thank you, Minion, I'm sure that you're right."

The fish beamed and fluttered his fins happily and Megamind rolled his eyes. "If we're done reassuring our hostage, that she'll be saved or something," he began, gesturing emphatically. "Which, incidentally, she won't because I'm going to win," he continued, giving Minion a Look. "We will all just sit back and await Metro Man's return!"

And so they waited.

And waited.

And for good measure they waited some more.

Megamind grew increasingly agitated and Roxanne grew increasingly uncomfortable. Not in an emotional sense, but a physical sense. Her feet were falling asleep and her shoulders were cramping in awful ways from her hands being tied behind her back. Then her bladder reminded her just how long a day it had been.

"Hey," she said and was ignored. Sighing, she blew a few of her bangs out of her face. "Hey," she said again, louder.

Megamind seemed to hear her that time and the little blue alien looked up. "Ah? -Yes, what is it, hostage?" he asked with a smirk. Oh, how she wanted to wipe it off of his face, but there were more important matters at hand.

"Do you have a bathroom?" she asked flatly.

The genius' face went blank and the smirk fell. "A bathroom?" he parroted. Roxanne found herself smirking at his reaction.

"Yes, a bathroom. I need to use it," she monotoned.

"Uh," he said dumbly, as if not expecting her to have normal bodily functions.

"...So do you have one?" she asked, attempting to be patient.

"Er... we do, but-" he wrestled with the notion of untying her. She'd never been there long enough to warrant bathroom breaks before. He wasn't sure of the proper etiquette.

Roxanne rolled her eyes. "Well you'd better let me use it. I don't want to get into what will happen if you don't."

Megamind shuddered for a moment before narrowing his eyes playfully. "Is that a threat, Miss Ritchi?"

"No, Megamind, it's a promise," she replied. She was smirking, but completely serious.

He could see that and he groaned. "Fine, fine. But Minion can't... watch you to make sure you don't escape... I... Hm- oh!" he suddenly exclaimed, his eyes lighting up as if he had a brilliant idea. A brilliant idea involving her and the bathroom.

Roxanne was more than a little concerned.

Then he whistled and a small group of Brain Bots floated in. He motioned one of them over and Roxanne noticed that it was the pink one that she had seen flying around every now and then.

Megamind waved his hand imperiously. "This is..." he paused, glancing over at the Brain Bot again. "...Smurfette. She will guard you and make sure you don't try and escape."

"...Smurfette." Roxanne repeated, staring at him.

"No questions Miss Ritchi!" he snapped, and she could have sworn that she saw his cheeks tint a slightly darker pink.

With that, the pink Brain Bot, Smurfette, untied Roxanne's ropes and bowg'd at her to follow, floating off in the direction of the bathroom.

When they returned, Megamind was sulking in his chair and Minion was feeding the alligators out of a bag of frozen chicken nuggets.

The Brain Bot glanced at her and then glanced back at Megamind and Minion. While Smurfette could untie ropes pretty well, with the use of its pointed mechanical claws, it could not re-tie them.

Roxanne briefly entertained the idea of making a break for it, but as soon as her weight shifted, Smurfette's red bulb eye was staring her in the face and it was making a little growling noise.

The reporter sighed and shrugged. "Fine, fine... I won't try anything," she said, resigned. For the time being, anyway.

Minion looked up at the exchange and beamed. "Oh, Miss Ritchi. The boss decided it would just be easier to leave you untied for the moment, provided that you don't try and escape of course," the fish explained. "If another bathroom break is necessary, he doesn't... what did you say, Sir?"

"I said I don't want to hear her nosy reporter voice whining!" the blue alien retorted in a way that sounded like a whine of its own.

Roxanne's eyebrow twitched but she kept her cool. Anything to keep from having to sit in that ridiculous chair for the next however many more hours.

She was starting to get a bit annoyed and a bit worried about Metro Man at the same time. Family emergency... She still didn't buy it. Out of all the people in Metro City, she knew him the best and what she knew was that ever since his parents had passed away, Wayne Scott didn't keep in touch with his extended family and they didn't keep in touch with him.

So, it was very likely that something could have happened to any one of the obscure distant relatives, but it was also very un-likely that Metro Man would have heard about it, let alone leave the city on a day that Megamind was sure to attack.

Something was up, and her nosy reporter senses were tingling. It didn't help that Megamind had just left her untied in what was surely his lair. That was also sending them a flutter.

She began to take a step when Megamind's voice rang out. "And you're not allowed to go anywhere! ...At all! In fact... stay! Stay right there!" he pointed emphatically. "Or I'll... I'll do something... incredibly evil!

Roxanne froze and stared at him. "You're kidding, right?" she demanded, stuck, mid-step. It was horribly uncomfortable and after awkwardly keeping it up for about a minute, Minion took pity on her. He walked over to her and offered her a smile, doing a bit of a wiggle in his tank. "Miss Ritchi, do you like to play cards?"

She stared at Minion this time instead. This day was just full of surprises.

And so it was that the next several hours were spent with Minion and Roxanne playing "Go Fish" with Smurfette, munching on snacks the fish had made earlier, and sharing embarrassing childhood stories.

The only difference was that while Roxanne was sharing stories of her own childhood that she didn't mind sharing with Minion because, well, it had been forever ago, Minion was sharing embarrassing stories of Megamind's childhood.

At first, Minion's tales were interrupted with protesting shrieks and various and assorted items being thrown in their general direction, including Brain Bots. Megamind, however, despite all his flailing, was still sulking at being stood up by Metro Man, so he couldn't be bothered to move out of the chair.

Roxanne was amused at how he was acting like a teenage girl being stood up by a boy who hadn't promised a date to begin with.

"Well, he was very precocious. Oh, I had almost forgotten!" Minion began, backtracking. "When he was still just couple weeks old, Sir built a tricycle out of license plates and blasted out the wall of the prison!" the fish exclaimed in delight.

Roxanne raised an eyebrow. "Out of license plates? ...Wait, the prison? He was raised in the prison?" she demanded, incredulous. "How is that even legal?"

Minion simply blinked at her, confused. "Well, that I'm not sure about, Miss Ritchi... but that's how it happened."

"Hrrm..." Roxanne murmured, pursing her lips. She would have to add this to the things to research after she was rescued this time. The "family emergency" was obviously the first priority, but this turn of events could explain so much that she couldn't resist the opportunity. The fact that a little baby, blue or not, had been raised in a prison was also rather disturbing.

It took a little while longer, the time for a couple more stories to be told, easing on into the years that Megamind had gone to shool, for the nosy reporter to realize that the super villain had stopped protesting. In fact, he had stopped making noise all together, which was unprecedented and a feat unto itself. She never would have thought it possible if it wasn't occurring at this very moment.

Roxanne excused herself from Minion and stood, stretching her legs. The reporter wandered over to where the evil genius sat in his chair. He was either thinking or sulking. For all Roxanne knew it was both.

She stepped up behind the chair, gazing at the monitors he was looking at. Most of them were random surveillance of the city or the news. One however showed the inside of the observatory.

She blinked, peering at the image. There was a big red X on the floor and there was a distinct lack of machinery around in the picture, and a distinct lack of themselves.

The nosy reporter glanced around the observatory that they were in. It looked the same except- Ohhhh...

She smiled to herself despite everything. He had taken her intelligence into account for this plan. If she squinted at that fact, it was almost a compliment.

She stepped around to the side of the chair and bent at her knees, leaning forward slowly so that her face was beside his, even and parallel. He didn't seem to notice her.

She waited a moment, keeping her eyes trained forward. "We're not in the real observatory," she said. It was more of a statement than a question.

Megamind had been so preoccupied with his thoughts that he hadn't noticed her at all. He let out an undignified shriek and jerked in the chair, sending it rolling back towards the wall. Both Villain and Chair crashed into the wall and ended up sprawled on the floor.

Roxanne winced, reaching out after him reflexively. "Sorry!" she found herself saying before she could even remember who she was talking to. She had meant to startle him, but not quite that much.

His large blue head peeked out from under his cape, which had flown up and over his head. He stared at her for a long moment, green eyes wide and surprised.

He stared long enough that Roxanne started to feel uncomfortable. "What?" she challenged.

That was enough to snap him out of it. Megamind scrambled to his feet and struck an un-intimidating pose. "I meant to do that!" he declared, putting his hands on his hips and his nose in the air.

Any guilt Roxanne had begun to feel was crushed underneath his ridiculous ego.

She rolled her eyes, scowling, and crossed her arms over her chest. "Right. I'm sure you did," she said flatly.

Megamind ignored her and hefted the chair back onto its wheels, pushing it back over to the consoles.

Roxanne watched as he plopped back down into the leather and she frowned a bit at the lack of back and forth banter.

"...Hey-" she began, but he cut her off.

Rubbing his face with one hand, he spoke. "Are you still here? Go home."

Everything she was going to say or ask left the reporter's mind as Roxanne stared at him. He was... letting her go?

He could feel her gaze burning figurative holes into his face and so he turned his chair away from her further so all she could see was the back of the leather piece of furniture. "Minion!" he called and the fish stepped over, having stood from the table upon Megamind's initial yelp of surprise and subsequent crash landing.

"Yes, Sir?" he questioned, glancing between the incredulous reporter and the back of his boss' chair.

A leather-clad hand lifted from the armrest and made a flopping motion that could have been a commanding wave, but came off more like a disinterested hand shrug. "Take Miss Ritchi home," he said, sounding a little gloomy.

Minion's brow furrowed with concern but he nodded slowly. "Okay, Sir. But we're out of knock out spray."

Roxanne train of thought did a quick 90 degree turn at that. Not the Forget-Me Stick. Not the Forget-Me stick. Not the Forget-Me Stick, she thought to herself, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment.

Megamind lowered his hand back to the armrest again. "Just blindfold her and take her back home."

Minion and the reporter stared at him. Well, at the back of his chair. When he didn't say anything more, Minion gently placed his giant robotic hand on Roxanne's shoulder. "Come on, Miss Ritchi. We'd better get going. Rush hour on the freeway should be settling down anyway."

Roxanne nodded dumbly, glancing back over her shoulder at the giant chair and the baby seal leather boots she saw dangling, not quite reaching the floor.

Then a strip of black cloth was placed around her eyes and she felt Minion leading her out of the room.

At least it wasn't the bag.

Not too much later, Minion dropped Roxanne off at the apartment and asked her a few questions to make sure she hadn't figured out the location of the lair, to which she responded vaguely because she had, in fact, figured it out.

Roxanne waved and saw him off and sat down on her couch with a sigh. Kicking her heels off and putting her feet up on the coffee table, she slouched in the couch, her chin coming to rest on her chest. She shook her foot in agitation as she thought hard on the events that had taken place.

This had to be the strangest day of her life thus far. Metro Man never showing up, Megamind just letting her go. It was all very strange. Too strange. The strangest part was still this "family emergency" bull.

Suddenly, she lowered her feet from the table and sat up. There was something very Not Right going on. Everyone had bought that ridiculous excuse but her. Even Megamind had bought it.

Well. Someone had to get to the bottom of this.

Who better than Roxanne Ritchi, nosy reporter extraordinaire.