Trying to get back to the story's roots of being random, the thing I tend to do a lot with this series is experiment in it, which has in my opinion has made it very inconsistent.

Cereal Kidnapper

'' Annnd that's how I saved twenty little sisters from a burning building. ''

Dell had zoned out and been unaware that Sasha had been telling him a story, not remembering a single thing she said, he just nodded and smiled.

'' Oh what a walk, we're here. ''

Dell turned to see that they had arrived at their destination, a small bar called '' The Gatherers Pub ''.

'' Me and a couple of the other officers come here from time to time, you don't have a criminal record do you? ''

Dell laughed nervously, aware she was joking but still scared nonetheless seeing as he had to kill her. The two walked in and a couple of patrons ( whom were all big sisters ) all waved as Sasha entered.

'' Just a couple of friends of mine. ''

Dell swallowed, all of them were officers and if anything happened to her he was the last person she was seen with. He sighed, he had to find Johnny but he wasn't a killer, he sure as hell wouldn't be good at it either.

The two sat at the counter and Sasha tapped the counter and asked for two drinks.

'' So, while we wait, how about you tell me a bit about yourself. ''

Dell didn't really know what to say, he didn't want to talk about Johnny or anyone else for that matter, he was afraid he might slip into the subject of just exactly what he was doing. As he began to think of a story to make up their drinks had arrived and Sasha began to remove her helmet. Just as he came up with a plausible story, his breath was instantly taken away as Sasha revealed herself from her helmet.

She looked over to him and smiled, he knew she knew, she had much reason to be confident. She had long red hair, which had been put into a ponytail to fit inside her helmet. Her face was rough, and tough looking but still very feminine and attractive. He couldn't tell what color her eyes were, but then again she was a big sister, he still found her glowing white eyes quite attractive as they also complimented her tough look.

She blushed and raised a brow at him.

'' You didn't think I was a dog did you? ''

'' N-no not at all. ''

Dell had never really had a crush before, his awkwardness didn't help him either. He was dumbfounded at this new emotion he found himself him, but remembering more important things he shook off the feeling and tried to concentrate on his task.

Just as he began to tell his fake story the drinks relied, he sighed in relief having been spared what could have been an obvious give away. He wasn't a heavy drinker but he had drunk before, he had no idea what was in the glass but he didn't want to make her look stupid by not excepting the drink.

5 Minutes Later

'' Annnnnnnd that's how I saved Christmas. ''

'' Oh jeez, you didn't tell me you were such a lightweight drinker Dell, do you want me to escort you home. ''

'' You don't hath to do that fer meeee. ''

'' I'm an officer, It's my job to help people. Where do you live. ''

'' Home issss where your heart is. ''

Sasha sighed, only 3 shots and Dell was pretty much putty. She blushed at the thought for a second as a dark thought grew in her mind, but she was an officer, she couldn't take advantage of him, but she couldn't leave him alone either.

'' Dell, I'm going to take you home with me okay? ''

'' I'm sooooooo hungry right now, I could eat your face. ''

Sasha grabbed Dell's arm and escorted him out the bar.

'' We're going to teleport Dell, hold your breath otherwise you'll probably vomit. ''

'' I can teleport toooo wanna see? ''

'' Dell, drunk teleporting is against the law. ''

'' I can't teeeleport I lied. ''

'' Ugh, shut up already. ''

The two disappeared into a purple haze and reappeared in front of her apartment door, although dell was mostly drunk, he still knew what he had to do ( but didn't really care ) he tried to find out her exact address but was unable to due to her teleporting them directly inside the building. He would probably check tomorrow.

'' Okay let me just open the door and... ''

She began searching her pocket for a pair of keys, which she found then immediately dropped.

'' I'm not even drunk and I'm the clumsy one. ''

As she reached down for her keys Dell's looked down and nearly bled out his nose when he saw her rear, which was very appealing to him. He held back the urge to grab her waist and bite It besides being in his drunken stupor, he had not been strong enough however to keep his mouth shut.

'' Your ass is amazing. ''

Sasha quickly grabbed her keys, stood up and slapped Dell across the face.

'' You pervert, drunk and you still managed to get that out without a stutter. ''

'' I'm sorrrrry. ''

She turned and walked in and gestured for him to follow, although he couldn't see her since her back was to him, she was blushing madly.

'' What a pervert, why am I so turned on? ''

She turned to him and pointed to the couch.

'' That's where you will be sleeping, see you tomorrow. ''

'' buuut you'll be dead by then! ''

She turned to him and raised a brow

'' and why Is that? ''

'' Uhh.. whaaaaa? I didn't say anything bout me being hired to kill you and stuff. ''

'' real funny tough guy, goodnight. ''

She went into her room and closed the door behind her, and for good measure locked It. While she didn't believe his whole kill bit she wouldn't put him trying to feel her up in her sleep past him.

Meanwhile, just outside the room Dell slapped his forehead in disbelief of his own stupidity.

'' what the heeeck is wrong with me? I almos told her I was gonna kill her. Jeez I really want a bowl of cereal right now- NO STAY ON TRACK. Okay, I have to kill Sasha and – wait why do I have to kill Sasha? Screw this I'm sleepen. ''

Dell abruptly ended his train of thought and allowed himself to fall asleep.

Meanwhile – At Eleanor's Home

'' Kat. ''

'' Yeah? ''

'' I used to be the main character in these things? ''

'' What? ''

'' It doesn't matter now, at least I'm finally getting my segme-

Meanwhile at Delta's Home

Delta entered the room and passed Dom a cup of coffee who set it down on the table.

'' Can we talk Delta? ''

'' I was hoping we'd get busy. ''

'' I gotta be honest, I just said that to lure you somewhere where we could talk alone. ''

'' Dammit, now I have to take a cold shower. ''

'' Delta, are we bad parents? ''

'' What? No! ''

'' Johnny's missing and all we seem to care about are stupid things like my relationship with Eleanor or your sex drive. ''

Delta put his head down and began to speak slowly.

'' Dom, I want really bad to be the one to save Johnny but I'm a prototype big daddy and your a criminal, masochist, murderer, arms dealer. We don't stand a chance. ''

'' Your description of me is mostly false and would probably be the one thing that DOES stand a chance. ''

'' You are a criminal, and a murderer, and AN ARMS DEALER ''

'' I'm not a masochist. ''

'' I saw those burn marks on Eleanor's arse, I would think someone who delivers pain and gains pleasure from it would get pleasure from taking it as well. ''

'' HEY, Don't mention her name, also when the hell did you become a therapist? ''

'' Screw you. ''

'' SCREW ME? ''

'' YEAH ''

'' HOW ABOUT I SCREW YOU? ''

'' Really? ''

'' No! I'm mad at you that came out wrong. ''

'' I gotta be honest, I kinda got really excited when you said that and I'm not mad anymore. ''

'' You're still not getting any. ''

'' I'll spank you. ''

'' DEAL ''

Meanwhile – At Fontaine's Base

'' SIR, We have found some valuable information for you. ''

Fontaine took a long drag from his cigar and sat up.

'' Tommy, Roger, what have you found out for me? ''

'' A new crime lord has apparently been taking over many syndicates around rapture, some sicko in a trench coat and a wrapped face. ''

'' Sounds like something out of a comic book, do you have a name? ''

'' They refer to him as '' The Enlightened One ''

'' Oh great, a cult, just what we need. ''

'' What's our next course of action. ''

'' I want to meet Teo. ''

'' Whose Teo? ''

'' You like it? It's a nickname I made for him, The enlighted one, take the first letter from each word. ''

'' That's stupid. ''

'' Tommy, kill Roger got calling my idea stupid. ''

'' Wait, WHAT? ''

'' Sorry Roger. ''

BANG

'' hahah! I'm such an asshole, Tommy, make a memo so that everyone knows to call this guy Teo from here on out. I'm going to try and contact this freak. ''

Meanwhile – At Tenenbaum's House

'' Wait, when zid I become relevant? ''

RING

Tenenbaum, shocked that someone was actually calling her ran to the phone and picked it up.

'' Who iz it? ''

'' Dammit we dialed Tenenbaum? Well I guess it's better then nothing. ''

'' Who iz this? ''

'' Give me the damn phone Sophia, Teenenbaum doesn't even like you. SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU EITHER SHUT UP. ''

'' WHO IS THIS? ''

'' Look Tenenbaum, It's me Andrew, Andrew Ryan. ''

'' Ryan? Why are you calling me. ''

'' Yeah Tenenbaum old friend old pal, I had a friend smuggle my communicator in, had to smuggle it in a horrible place don't wanna talk about it. ''

'' Okay? ''

'' Yeah well, I think the others may have kinda just blocked our transmissions so we've kinda been random dialing hoping to get a hold on someone we know. ''

'' Well what do you want? ''

'' We need help! Our sentences have been extended for another 10 years for possession of - '' STUPID DON'T TELL HER - '' SHUT UP SOPHIA . '' Ahem, because they are uhh, evil? ''

'' Good enough for me, I'll probably do something about it. ''

'' Really? Oh thank goodness! ''

'' Yeah but I don't think it fits within this current story. ''

'' Stop breaking the forth wall and help us dammit. ''

'' Perhaps someday, I will get Oneshot to save you guys. ''

'' That had to be THE WORSE forth wall joke I ever heard, I hope you die Tenenbaum. But please die after you save us. ''

CHAPTER END

I need criticism, help me get better by pointing out my shortcomings please!