This is only my second fanfiction, it's pretty angsty even more than my first one. It takes place sometime after Doctor in the Photo, but really only loosely follows the show, I think it could be considered AU but I'm not completely sure because I'm still new at this =). I really hope that people enjoy this story, please feel free to comment! This story will mostly be Brennan POV, and as I said before it's pretty heavy, but who doesn't like a good dose of angst once in awhile, right?

Prologue:

It had been well over a year since that fate-less night on the steps of the Hoover Building. It had been six months since everyone had returned from the ends of the world. Temperance Brennan had spent every one of those months hoping that time would heal her loneliness. It hadn't.

She had spent these past months watching how happy her friends were. Angela and Hodgins were busy preparing for their first child. Cam had Michelle and Paul. Sweets and Daisy had gotten back together. And Booth… Booth had Hannah now and his actions made it quite clear that he was too busy to be anything but partners, too busy to be friends, too busy to stop by the lab or grab coffee or have some semblance of a normal conversation. She had been visiting Zack more often, sometimes she felt as though he was the only person who had given her his full attention in weeks.

Her loneliness was what ultimately helped her make her decision. She had wanted a child since the case with baby Andy. She knew that she couldn't bring the topic up again with Booth, so she had talked to Angela. She had been so tempted not to tell anyone, but she needed reassurance that she would make a good parent. She needed evidence to support her logic. She and Angela had talked for hours about her decision and she finally felt confident with herself. Angela had gone with her to find an anonymous donor. She was there when the first two attempts had failed. When it had finally worked they had gone out for celebration smoothies.

And then Brennan had miscarried. She felt as though the world was crumbling around her. It had led to that terrible night in the rain, the night when she had allowed Booth to mangle her heart beyond recognition. She had allowed her emotions to get the best of her and they had spilled out, leaving her vulnerable and raw.

Then he had told Hannah and that was when she knew that they were no longer friends. He had told her once that what was between them was theirs, but he betrayed her by sharing her deepest secret with a woman she barely knew and would never really be friends with.

Brennan had decided to try again and now she had been pregnant for almost three months. Three people knew besides Angela. Her father had come up to visit, and was the unfortunate witness to a particularly bad bout of morning sickness. He had been happy for her, even though she could tell he was slightly wary of her raising a child alone. Once she had explained her thought process, he had seemed excited about the prospect of a biological grandchild, and he called to check up on her frequently, which was something she found comforting. Not that she'd ever admit it.

She had found it necessary to inform Cam after stumbling in to work late everyday for over a week. Cam was as happy for her as Angela was, especially after so recently experiencing the rewards of parenthood herself. She had been cutting Brennan a lot of slack lately, which was nice because it was becoming increasingly difficult to reign in her morning sickness much before nine in the morning.

The last person who knew was Zack. She hadn't told him, but rather he had picked it up from the new way she was carrying herself, the slight spreading of her hips. He seemed to be happy for her, as much as Zack was ever happy for anyone.

She couldn't figure out a way to tell Booth. She was waiting for them to have a moment alone but those seemed to be a rarity these days. The only time they were alone was in his car on the way to a case, and that timing never seemed appropriate. At this point, considering his attitude towards her, he was probably going to be the last person to find out. The thought hurt her. They used to be so close and she missed that easiness between them. She missed having him as her best friend.

She loved Angela to death, but their relationship was different than her and Booth's. Angela didn't seem to understand the meaning of companionable silence, and her bubbly chatter had a way of fraying Brennan's nerves no matter how kind the intention.

So Brennan had been spending a lot of time alone, planning. She was more excited about the prospect of motherhood than she would admit, she really didn't want to get her hopes up again. But she was almost at the end of her first trimester, which was good, much better than last time. When she sat in her apartment at night with a cup of tea replacing her usual glass of wine, she would daydream about being a mother. She had been spending her weekends buying baby supplies of neutral colors with Angela, painting her guest room a pale yellow, and she had been reading a lot of books on pregnancy and motherhood.

She knew she was ready for this, she just wished that she could figure out how to tell her partner.