Key

James- Bold

Lily- Italics

Albus- Normal

Scorpius- Bold Italics

Better get a move on, or all the good ones will be gone

If you aren't planning on dying any time soon, I wouldn't bother me.

Of course not, that would be stupid.

What?

Bothering yourself. Why would you even bother?

You know what I meant.

Sorry, no.

I meant for you to stop bothering me.

Someone had to. Why don't you ask my sister? Everyone knows you like her. Except her, that is.

What are you prattling on about? And what do you mean?

I'm saying that you should ask her to the Valentines Day Ball. And I mean that everyone knows you like her because of that lovely little tornado of hormonal tension that follows you everywhere.

I do not like her, and where the bloody hell did you hear that rubbish?

Marauders don't tell their secrets.

Where did you hear it?

My lil' brother, Albus. He's your "best friend," right?

Yes...

Anyway, he told me that you like her, and besides, a little birdie told me that she doesn't have a date either *winks suggestively*

SHUT UP POTTER

Why are you being so defensive, Malfoy? Got a crush and unsuccessfully trying to cover it up?

NO! I just don't like crazy rumors.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand... You should ask her. You never know, she might say yes. And to you, of all people!

Maybe I should. No. No, I don't.

Don't what? Like Lily? You know, you shouldn't deny it, mate. Denial is unhealthy, so they say.

Who's they?

They is... well, they! And don't get off topic! You like Lily, and that's all there is to it!Don't deny it!

I'm not.

You like Lily! I knew it! I am a genius!

I don't, you git.

You're not denying it! Oh, wait, you just did. STOP DENYING IT!

I wouldn't deny it if it was true, but it's not.

LIES!

Are you done?

Never.

Believe me, I do not like your sister.

Than why'd you say it? Admit it, you've got a crush!

I hope you don't mean me. You're the one drooling like a dog over little miss I'm so Perfect Finnegan over there.

Not true. And besides, I've seen the way you look at Lily. You like her. I know you do.

Ooh, that sounded almost smart of you. But yet, it didn't.

Oh, please, it's true. I've known the pair of you since you were in diapers.

We met when we were six! I did not wear diapers when I was six! And anyway, I do not! Now get this, you git. Scorpius no likey Lily, you get?

Ooh, now we're talking about ourselves in third person. James can do this with the best of them. Oh, and sure Scorpius doesn't.

HE DOESN'T! I mean, I don't.

Sure, sure.

Oh, shut up.

Admitting!

NO! You Potters and your stupid brains.

Hey! Me, Albus, and Lily resemble that remark!

Sorry, I meant you and your stupid brain.

Aw, not insulting Lily, I think that's just so sweet!

I couldn't give a flying owl about what you think.

Do I care?

Yes!

Wrong!

No, correct, or else you wouldn't have asked.

Not true.

Sure, sure.

You are an evil, evil little boy. Emphasis on little.

You better believe it. Well, except for the evil part.

I do, even the evil part, which is why I wonder why you'd even consider fancying her. She's perfectly normal, you know. No trace of evil about her.

I don't.

Sure. That's what your brother said when I asked him, but then he cracked and told me he did.

I don't care. GOOD NIGHT.

It's not night. It's morning. On a Sunday, so don't use the class excuse. Plus, I know you don't have detention.

Whatever. Goodbye.

Bye!

A/N: This story is dedicated to Emily, because she helped me write all of it. Thank you, my dear substitute Scorpius. Yep, that's right. She wrote Scorpius's lines. If there's any part that you like, review or PM me and I'll let her know.