Dive In
Tonight I don't play it safe.
− Untouchable, Ben Saunders
Chapter Five
Kate Beckett felt like she was sixteen again.
She was sixteen, and had a crush on Jeremy Cereza.
Castle was still sitting beside her desk, waiting for her to return from the Ladies' room. It wasn't all that late yet, but it was a sunny Friday afternoon, and most detectives had gone home early to enjoy their weekend while they could. Ryan had an entire romantic weekend planned with Jenny, and Esposito had been vaguely referring to some plans too, probably including Lanie.
So of their team, she and Castle were the only ones left.
Which was a very convenient setting for asking him out on a date. At least, it should be.
True, her breakup with Josh was recent. But if she wasn't completely honest, she hadn't been together with him for quite some time now. Her heart had already been out of the relationship, if it ever was fully in. She wanted Castle. So now she'd come to the point of asking him out.
And it was like Jeremy all over again.
When she was sixteen, she'd had a crush on him. He'd been smart, funny and …. They'd had some classes together, and somehow he'd end up sitting next to her every time. She didn't mind at all. They talked, laughed, teased each other and – she honestly hoped she wasn't imagining things− there was some flirting. Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. And all this time she was hoping, wishing, he'd make a move.
He didn't. And at some point she wasn't so sure of everything anymore. She began questioning every 'moment' they had. Her mother had walked into her room while she was thinking about all of that, her eyebrow knotted in frustration. She'd poured her heart out to her mother, and she had listened patiently, intently, to her story. When she was done talking, her mother had asked whether she really liked him or not. She'd replied that she did.
"You know…" her mother had said, "sometimes, boys can be a little… slow with certain things."
Johanna Beckett let out a soft chuckle as she seemed to remember something. "Your dad certainly was."
Kate looked up at her mother, puzzled, unsure where her mother was going with this. Johanna continued. "If you really like him so much, if you're sure about him, then you shouldn't just wait around for him to make a move."
Her heart thudded loudly in her chest at her mother's words, sensing exactly what her mother was getting at.
"When you're alone with him, just ask him out. From what I've heard, he'll probably say yes."
She had been terrified, at the time. But after some more encouraging words from her mother, she did ask him out. And he'd said yes.
And right now, Kate Beckett was tired of waiting around for Castle to make a move. So, she had made a decision. She was going to ask him out.
Problem was, she's nervous.
Sweaty hands nervous.
Which was actually very rare for her. As a cop, she'd had numerous training courses on how to deal with stressful situations, and she'd passed them all. She wasn't nervous very often. Scared sometimes, yes. But nervous? Definitely not. She could already imagine all kinds of different possibilities of what could go wrong with holding a gun while having sweaty hands from being nervous. The combination of those two factors definitely wasn't a good one.
Okay, this was getting ridiculous.
Taking a deep breath and quickly wiping her hands on her pants, she opened the bathroom door, and walked towards her desk with her usual confidence, stopping next to her desk, right in front of him. "Castle." She said, effectively getting his attention as he looked up.
"Would you like to grab some dinner?" The words left her mouth before she could stop them. 'grab' dinner, seriously? her thoughts mocked her. It sounded too casual, too much like any other night they'd have dinner. At least now you'll have the chance to write this off as just one of those nights instead of a date, came another traitorous thought.
"Yeah, sure." He replied and got up as well, grabbing his coat. And before she knew it, they were in the elevator together, trying to decide where to go for dinner.
They ended up at a small Chinese restaurant near the precinct where they'd had dinner a couple of times before.
Between moments of casual banter and conversation, as they were studying the menu to decide what to order, Beckett was thinking about whether this could be called a date or not. After all, he didn't seem to know or think it was. She mentally sighed. She couldn't really have a first official date with him without his knowledge.
Pathetic, that's what this was. This 'possibly being on a date' thing. Not how it was supposed to go.
On the other side of the table Castle glanced at her, noticing the slight furrow of her brow as if something was bothering her. As his mind was coming up with several possibilities of what it might be about, the waiter interrupted his thoughts, asking them what they'd like to eat.
After ordering, Castle asked, "Is everything alright?"
His words broke her away from her thoughts, and she gave him a small smile when she looked at him. "Yes, I'm fine."
Normally, he the whole 'I'm fine'-thing would've raised a red flag for him, but this time it actually did seem like she was fine. She was convincing enough anyway, so he decided to drop it. Instead, he continued talking about their most recent case. A conversation that eventually led them into talking about Beckett's college life – he was very interested – and his own stories about when he was younger.
Gradually, she became less tense, and instead of thinking, she just allowed herself to enjoy, to have fun. He made her laugh, also made some not-so-subtle suggestive comments, to which she responded just as bluntly, causing him to nearly choke on his drink. Biting her lip, she tried to hide her grin at his reaction to her. It was fun to flirt with him just like he did with her, she discovered. Being on a date with him was fun. Even if it wasn't an official one, and he didn't know about it. She didn't feel like holding back.
When they'd finished dinner and left the restaurant, they hailed a cab an got in together. After giving the cab driver her address, they drove off in silence. Comfortable silence, though. She liked that it both felt comfortable with him. Talking and being silent.
As she stared out of the car window, the bright lights of the city reflecting across her face as they passed by, she very subtly let her hand fall from her lap, laying it down in the space in between them.
He noticed the movement from the corner of his eye, and was unsure what to do. For one brief moment, her eyes flickered to his, one corner of her mouth turned up in an amused smirk, before reaching for his hand, softly intertwining her fingers with his. And just like that, she returned to staring out the window, while he stared down at their joined hands and a smile appeared on his face as well.
As they stopped in front of the apartment building, and Beckett caught his slightly disappointed look as she let go of his hand, she made a snap decision. She wouldn't pass this off as just another night. She was tired of pretending. She was ready to dive in. Before she could change her mind, she turned towards him. "Walk me to my door?" She asked.
He arched a brow. "Yeah, sure."
After telling the cab driver that he'd be right back, they silently started walking side by side in the direction of her apartment, each lost in their own thoughts, though not unaware of the other's presence.
"You know, " Beckett broke the silence after a while, when they had gotten to her floor. "I kind of expected our first date to go a little different than this."
Castle's eyes widened and he coughed loudly before regaining his posture. "First… date?" The first word came out slightly strangled, but as he paused and then continued, a familiar glint came to his eyes, and he sounded like himself again.
A smile pulled at the corner of her mouth. "Yes, date." She replied, and smiled at some inner thought. "I'd actually planned on letting you know about that a little sooner."
She took a step closer to him, and whatever words he had planned on saying got stuck in his throat. With her standing this close, she had to slightly tilt her head upwards to be able to look him in the eye. She did so, and leaned in just a little bit more as her hands gently tugged on the lapels of his shirt.
His heart skipped a beat when he felt her breath against his lips.
"I have to say, though…" She whispered, and it was hard to focus on her words with all the sensations of having her this close to him distracting him. "I had a great time for a semi-official first date."
"Hmm?" Was all he could muster.
When his eyes flickered down to her lips as her tongue subconsciously darted out to wet her lips, every inch of his body was buzzing with electrifying need for her. Just when he thought they were forever going to remain in this position, with her this damn close, but there still being too much space between them – his personal kind of hell – she closed the distance between them, their lips touching at last.
Their lips moved against each other smoothly, less impulsively that their first 'undercover'-kiss, but more exploring, both savoring the feeling. He was intent on making her moan just like she had done that first time. When he traced her upper lip with his tongue, she opened her mouth in invitation, one he gladly took. As their tongues met, his left hand tangled through her hair while his other moved to her hip, subconsciously pulling her closer to him.
That's when he heard the soft whimper come from her, and he smiled against her lips.
She felt the movement of the corners of his lips turning up against hers, and mentally smiled too. They continued this little dance, both exploring each other's mouths and him trying to ignite sounds from her, to the point of breathlessness.
Once they broke away from each other, in desperate need for air, he took a moment to fully take her in. Her lips were swollen, her breathing unsteady, her hair slightly more messy than usual, but perfect nonetheless. And she looked that way because of him. He liked it.
She reciprocated the grin that was on his face.
After a moment of just standing there, grinning at each other, she leaned in and gave him a quick kiss. "Goodnight Castle."
"Goodnight." He said, and she moved to open the door to her apartment. Then a thought struck him, and before she could close the door behind her, he stopped her. "Wait."
She turned around to face him.
"Would you like to have dinner with me?" He asked, then quickly added, just to be clear, "On an official date?"
She smiled. "I'd love to."
A/N: Cereza (the last name of Kate's for this story created high-school crush) is Spanish for 'cherry'. I know cherries are becoming quite the cliché, but I like putting little things like that (a character named something connected to something on Castle) in my stories. I don't do it often, though. But still…
Also, I really hope I kept them both in character enough with this. I know that in a lot of stories Beckett seems to hold back and wait for Castle, but I wanted to do it differently. I think that for Beckett admitting to herself what she wants is the biggest step, and this just a logical one to follow.
Anyway, thoughts?