The Bench of Evil and Other Tales

2 – 6: The Gambler

Notes: Because the Olympics games are just full of writing opportunities, we decided to expand this into a drabble series. Updates will be sporadic, as we will just be randomly writing these things whenever the need hits. Everything here is meant to be satirical, not meant to be taken seriously. We are simply taking funny situations and documenting them. That being said, you should be aware that we aren't Nintendo fans. Meaning, there might be some Mario bashing. The Mario characters will never be the main focus. This is a Sonic fic and we are both Sonic writers. This is the purpose.

All of these take place in Vancouver during the Winter Olympics.

2 – Tangent
Written by Hikari-san42

"The plumber is staring at me. He needs to stop. He's freaking me out. Why is the plumber staring at me?" Sonic mumbled to himself, digging his toe roughly into the snow.

"Um, he's trying to decide the best way to drown you this time?" Knuckles leaned over around Tails, giving Sonic a concerned look.

"Where is he going to drown me, Knuckles? We're in the middle of landlocked Canada."

"Um, Sonic, Canada has 202,080 kilometers of coastline…" Tails interjected, pushing Knuckles' head out of his face space.

"Does it really? Well, at least tell me that it's still considered America's hat…"

"I thought America was Canada's pants…" Knuckles looked confused, like always.

"Then what does that make Mexico?" Sonic challenged, eyes sparking.

"Obviously," Knuckles held up a hand, "Mexico is America's shoes."

"So, America's naked?"

"Sonic," Tails mumbled, hand permanently planted on his forehead. "America's a country. It doesn't require clothing."

"Yes, but what if it gets cold?"

"You know what…" Tails trailed off, catching sight of something out of the corner of his eye. "Amy's coming." He raised a finger to point at the pink track suited hedgehog walking next to a similarly dressed female. "Blaze is with her."

"Hm." Sonic hummed, watching the two girls move towards them at the speed of smell. "Is Blaze going to try figure skating?"

"Uh, I think so."

"Do you suppose that she'll melt the ice?"

There was a contemplative pause.

Knuckles was the first to speak, holding out his hand towards the hedgehog. "Five Møbïums says that she does."

o0o

3 – Fissure
Written by Hikari-san42

"Wait, why is Silver here? Isn't he from, like, the future?"

"Yeah," Tails answered the blue hedgehog's question with a dubious tone, "I dunno either."

"Does that mean that we're somehow caught in a rift in the time space continuum and the only way out is to compete in some idiotic human ritual against some second rate characters from a rival video game franchise?"

Tails didn't blink an eye at the hedgehog's statement, his sharp brain able to comprehend the speedy delivery of the blurb. He simply nodded, his ears thwaping against his head. "Yes."

o0o

4 – Big Brother
Written by Yami-sama42

Shadow glared like death as he crouched low to the ground to restock his ammunition. His crimson eyes were ablaze as he growled viciously at anything that moved within his line of vision. It was a war, and Shadow was not planning on losing.

The battlefield was small, and the fighting short, but nonetheless gruesome. Bodies lay strewn everywhere, the pristine white environment littered with defeat. Using his left hand, Shadow launched his projectile, smirking in triumph as he hit his mark. His opponent fell with a scream of terror, his orange and white face connecting with the ground. Soon he was the only ally left on his side of the field.

He peered over his shoulder, back to the protective wood as he clutched his last remaining weapon. "So," he whispered to himself as he ducked lower to the ground, "it has come to this." He jerked sideways as he was nearly hit, his uppermost head quill jarred from the slight impact. Narrowing his eyes, he tucked and rolled over to the next piece of shelter. Taking a deep breath, he poked his head slowly around his safety…

And got nailed in the face. When he fell, he fell hard. The pain and agony came not from the strike, but from the simple fact that he had failed. As he sat there brooding over his overwhelming loss, the snow on his face evaporating, a white gloved hand appeared in front of his nose. Taking it with a small hesitation, he used the hand as a boost to lift himself up.

"Better luck next time, Faker," Sonic taunted, shaking Shadow's hand. "And Shads," he paused, catching glowering crimson with bright emerald, "don't touch Tails."

The snowball fisted in the black one's right palm was dropped in order for said fist to raise and then fly at a certain blue hedgehog's face. Twin viridian orbs widened in time to focus on the incoming force milliseconds before it was encased in a brilliant cerulean light.

Shadow growled aloud; he was caught by Silver of all people.

Sonic's eyes were still wide as he took a step back and to the side. An apprehensive grin spread across his features as he glanced over to see a certain metallic colored hedgehog standing beside the small fox. Chuckling slightly, the speedster turned to leave, throwing a, "Thanks Silver! See you in about five minutes. Dream figure skating's next. Tails and I have claimed the bench. Meet you there!"

Watching him leave, Shadow wondered how well a hydrophobic hedgehog would fair in a giant pile of melted snow…

o0o

5 – Handicap
Written by Hikari-san42

"Why do I have to use a glider? I can glide without it."

Vector glared down at Knuckles, staring straight into his violet eyes. "Because, it's not fair for everyone else if they have to use something new and you get to just soar around like you have since you were little."

Knuckles scoffed low in his throat, hand moving up to point across at Sonic and Tails where they were both leaning against their own respective gliders, decals with their faces on them grinning at him. "You really think the adaptable twins over there will have any trouble with this? They'll both jump off the platform the first time and soar through the clouds like they were frickin' born with those gliders in their hands."

"You think so?" Silver walked up behind Knuckles, scaring the echidna into jumping around and swinging an arm towards his surprised face. The hedgehog managed to avoid the blow by inches but he still glared at his attacker. "No need to hit, man. We're on the same side."

"Sorry Silver." Inside, Knuckles bit his cheek to keep himself from purposely slamming his fist into the other's pretty-boy face.

Silver shrugged off the apology, getting back to the matter at hand. "I couldn't help but overhear. Do you really think Sonic and Tails will be able to glide without practice?"

"I don't think – I know. Those two can pretty much do anything without trying. Except swim in Sonic's case, but I won't get into that."

"Well, then if you know, put your money where your mouth is." Silver held out his hand toward Knuckles. "I bet a Møbïum that Sonic doesn't jump."

Knuckles stared at the other's hand in shock before shaking his head. "Fine, I need to get the Master Emerald a souvenir. I bet five that they both fly like birds."

"Hey guys," all three jumped as a young voice sounded from behind Vector and said crocodile nearly fell over.

"T-Tails!" Silver poured on a fake happy tone, holding his hands out towards the fox. "Hey! How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough." He rolled his eyes before easing around Vector, holding out a hand towards the metallic hedgehog. "And I want in. Five Møbïums says that Sonic crashes into the lake."

o0o

6 – Winnings
Written by Hikari-san42
Concept by Hikami42

Sonic and Knuckles stood dumbfounded with shell shocked expressions on their faces as, when Blaze stepped onto the ice, it seemed to solidify and get harder under her feet, as if freezing even further.

"What did she-?" Knuckles was confused.

"I don't know." Sonic was too.

"How did she-?"

"Don't ask me."

Tails walked up from behind them, pushing both of them aside, a hand held out to each. "I believe you both owe me five Møbïums."

This just goes to show that Tails knows the effects Mobian fire powers have on frozen earth water, smart little fox.

That, or he was just going on a whim and he had five Møbïums to lose.

Yeah, don't get hung up on the word Møbïum. It has all those little flair letters because we felt like it, and we decided that Mobians were creative with the name of their money.

Don't worry about us; we're sane, we promise. We just think a little too hard about a fictional game franchise.

Review please?