Fall Into Darkness

All My Tomorrows

Boston in the summer was something to behold. Kenna looked out at the city for the first time since she had been home from her long, depressing time with Moreau. She had missed a lot in her time away. Mostly Eliot and Faith but now, enjoying the sunset, she knew she missed her home here in Boston too. She didn't have to hear him to know Eliot was close. The crisp scent that was a little cowboy, a little rebel and all man gave him away. Most people wouldn't have noticed the change in the air. Her body had long ago stopped fighting the heat that flowed through her veins when he was close.

"You missed Faith's musical number with Nate." His breath was warm on her neck and smelled for whisky.

"I needed some air." Closing her eyes, Kenna let her senses take over. The sound of his smoky voice in her ear, the feel of his warm breath on the back of her neck, the smell of Jack Daniel's and a hint of Tim McGraw's Silver cologne. He didn't touch her. His hands were on either side of hers, grasping the railing she was leaning on. His lips ever so close to her ear.

"I can't live without you Kenna Shane and its killing me." She closed his eyes. "Every time you leave my sight my gut clenches tight and my head goes places it shouldn't go."

"I'm sorry." Kenna whispered.

"You don't ever have to be sorry for making me feel again Kenna. I was so cold for so long and you came back and warmed my soul."

"I think Nate and the others started the process." She felt his body press against her back.

"Nate and the others don't make this happen when they walk into the room." Her breath caught and her blood started to run hot.

"Eliot…" Her voice was horse and full of desire.

"We need to figure out what the hell is going on in my head before I get lost and can't get back to you." His growl excited more than it should, knowing that she had such an effect on him made her even hotter. "I need you so God damn bad Kenna Shane." He whipped her around and had her face in his hands and her back against the railing. His kiss was rough and desperate and oh so mind blowing. Kenna clung to the railing and let him deepen the kiss and press hard against her. He was feeling helpless and desperate and she knew how he felt. Seven months away from him and her family made her know desperation like she had never felt before.

"Eliot…ahh…" His hand slid between her waistband and her skin, popping the button of her jeans.

"I can stop." He leaned in and whispered in her ear.

"No cowboy, when you get like this there is no stopping you." His two day beard rubbed against her cheek and his hands tugged her pants down ever so slowly. The feel of his lips on her neck was nearly her undoing as she ran her hands down his back and into the back pocket of his jeans, pulling him closer. His hardness dug into her fueling her need for him. Blood pounded though her veins as he kissed her made any coherent thought impossible. She was left breathless when in one fluid motion her husband unsnapped his jeans and was inside of her. "ELIOT!" Her voice echoed off the building that surrounded them. It had been a long time since he had taken her with such abandonment. He had been so careful with her since her return and for the first time since he brought her home did she feel like her old Eliot was back.

/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o

"You know as well as I do you can't lose yourself in a bottle." Nate stood next to Eliot, who was contemplating the bottle of Jack in front of him.

"I've been lost enough the past few weeks." The hitter looked at his friend. "I need to pass out and not have these fucked up dreams Nate."

"You've had nightmare's before."

"Not like these. My life is not my life and it's so damn real." Eliot poured himself two fingers of the brown liquid and tossed it down before Nate could answer him. "It's killin' me Nate." The older man looked at his friend.

"I'm the last one to tell you to see someone but…Eliot you have more than yourself and this team to think about. You have a family. Kenna and the kids need you more than ever."

"I'm no good to anyone right now." Nate sat next to him.

"Do you remember the man I was that first year we started all this?"

"You were a functioning alcoholic with a God complex." Eliot tried not to smile.

"I was an ass hole. I treated you and everyone else like crap."

"You'd just lost your son, Nate. Your marriage was in the toilet and you got screwed by Dubenich all leading to you becoming a criminal. I say that warrants being a little bit of an ass hole." Nate chuckled.

"Yeah, well I had no right taking my person problems out on the four people who befriended me in that time. I screwed up. Those first few years I was in hole so deep not even Parker's best climbing gear could pull me out." Nate looked at Sophie who was sitting at a table with Parker and Hardison talking. "I nearly lost the one thing that was keeping me sane Eliot. I pushed people away. People who wanted to help me. I pushed Sophie right out of the country."

"She came back."

"Yeah, she came back only to watch me be arrested and having to break me out of jail." Nate looked back at Eliot. "Don't push her away. Don't hold back because you're afraid she might not understand because I have found that women…the women who love men like us have no tolerance for bull shit and they have really big shoulders to help I carry our problems. Let her help. Kenna can't lose the one thing she's been fighting for all her life."

"A loosing battle if you ask me." Eliot looked into his empty glass.

"Eliot…if there is one thing I learned over the years is a fighting for someone you care about is never a loosing battle." Nate stood. "Talk to her. Tell her what she needs to hear." The older man left and Eliot reached for the bottle and stopped. Taking a twenty out of his pocked he slid it under the bottle and headed upstairs.

/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0

He found her curled up on the window seat wrapped in a blanket nursing their son. Eliot knew there was something warped about the way the sight of her with his children to her breasts made him feel but he couldn't help himself. She hadn't heard him or she would have wiped the tears that were falling from her cheeks to hide her sadness. It had been a long time since he was able to see her this vulnerable.

"McKenna?" His voice was hoarser than usual. She looked up, wiping her tears and trying to hide the fact she had been shedding them.

"I didn't hear you come in."

"You okay?" He knew she wasn't. She couldn't look him in the eye. She looked down at Chance instead.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"The hell you are." He went to sit on the bed across from her. Gently he ran his hand down his sons blond fuzz covered head. "Talk to me darlin'." She looked up at him and he knew that she was hurting bad.

"Earlier on the roof…I had my Eliot back. The strong, vibrant, head strong, sexy boy I fell in love with when I was just a kid. He made me feel like my world was right side up again."

"Kenna…"

"I want him back Eliot. I want the man who made me want to have a family. The man who promised me he would be there for me no matter what. Where is he? Where the hell did he go?" She felt her son stir. Taking a deep breath she uncurled herself from her seat and stood, taking a still sleeping Chance into his room. She kissed his head and tucked him in trying to find the composure she needed to face Eliot once more. Taking a deep breath she went out into the living room but he was gone. She heard is voice coming from Faith's room. Walking over to the door she listened.

"Are we going on vacation daddy?" The little girl was in her hippo bed, surrounded by more hippos and Eliot didn't look the least bit out of place.

"I don't know baby. I have to talk to your mama about it."

"I just wanna stay home, with Uncle Nate and the rest of the family." She touched his cheek. "You didn't shave today."

"I guess I haven't gotten around to it."

"Mama likes your whiskers." The girl looked serious, her blue eyes as piercing as his.

"You think so?" He looked up to see the topic of their conversation standing in the door way.

"Yep, she likes everything about you." The girl exaggerated 'everything' as she said it.

"She does?"

"Yep…that why she married you. Cause you're her everything." The girl snuggled into her blankets. "Is she your everything daddy?" Faith said, holding back a yawn.

"Yeah, baby. She's my everything." He kissed the girl on the top of the head and tucked her in. Standing, he went to the door and stood in front of Kenna. "I don't want to fight."

"Fighting's what we do best Eliot." Smiling she touched his cheek. "We fight so we can have mind blowing make up sex. I made an appointment with the best neurologist in Boston for tomorrow. We will find whatever it is that's taking you away from us Eliot." He looked into her brown eyes. Eyes that always gave him comfort when he needed it the most.

"I wasn't lying when I told Faith you're my everything."

"I know. You know that your mine too, right?" He knew, but it was good to hear. Pulling her into his arms he hugged her close. "How did you get an appointment with the best neurologist in Boston on such short notice?"

"Knowing the best hacker in the world helps." He chuckled. "And I was a pretty kick ass paramedic and I do have some connections."

"I believe you." They walked into Chance's room and tucked the little boy in and kissed him goodnight. The couple walked up the stairs quietly. Kenna pulled Eliot in their room and closed the door.

"I understand if you want to stay up until your appointment tomorrow but you're looking putting rough Spencer." She touched his cheek.

"I can sleep if your next to me Kenna." He went to the bed and pulled her down with him. "Just hold on to me and don't let go." He whispered in her ear. It had been a long couple of days. Hell it had been a long year. Nate and Sophie needed to get things together after loosing another chance at a child and Hardison and Parker we're stressed about things he didn't care to imagine and he had his own issues. Sleep would come and he may get lost in whatever dream world sucked him in but Kenna would be there to pull him back to her. Feeling her hands stroke his back he shifted and made both of them as comfortable as he could without breaking contact.

"Sweet dreams Eliot." Kenna whispered as she felt his hands clench her shirt, holding on for dear life. "It's all gonna be alright, I promise."

/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/

"Eliot?" Kenna sat next to him in the quiet office. He held on to her hand like it was the only thing keeping him from leaving her again.

"How long does it take to look at a few pictures?" His leg started twitching.

"Eliot, just relax. You made it through last night without waking up someplace else so we're already off to a great start to the day." He looked at his wife and rolled his eyes.

"When the hell did you become the optimistic one?"

"Since Parker decided to become more cynical than she already was." The door opened an a man in his early fifties came in.

"Sorry to keep you waiting Mr. and Mrs. Spencer." He sat at his desk. "It's been a long day and its only nine." The older man looked down at the file in front of him.

"We understand, my husband is just very concerned about his black outs." Kenna felt Eliot's grip tighten on her hand. A weaker woman would have yelped in pain.

"I don't blame either of you for your concern. I see you've seen your share of blows to the head in the past, Mr. Spencer." Eliot nodded, too nervous to talk.

"My husband has been a fighter most of his adult life. After getting out of the Army is he just fell into it."

"Well your MRI shows some past fractures that have healed and your CT found an intracranial hemorrhage. It's causing some pressure on your brain. It could be causing your loss of time and vivid dreams." The doctor took a deep breath. "I want to do surgery as soon as possible. I have an OR booked for tomorrow morning."

"To…tomorrow." The grip on Kenna's hand tightened. This time she pulled back. "Sorry." He said, loosening his grip.

"I know it seems like we're rushing it but Mr. Spencer, but we need to move quickly before anymore damage can occur."

"I…" Eliot Spencer wasn't a man who minced words but he didn't want Kenna to worry about him anymore than she already was.

"Mr. Spencer, I have done this same surgery at least a hundred times and I am confident that we can repair this and recover a hundred percent."

"You're positive you can fix this?" Eliot looked at Kenna, who was close to tears. Neither of them thought in terms of something really being wrong with him, let alone needing surgery.

"I will be able to fix it. A couple of days in the hospital and you'll be as good as new."

"Okay." He swallowed hard.

"Relax today and we'll see you bright and early in the morning." The doctor said as he stood. Shaking both their hands he said his goodbyes and left. Eliot sat staring at his boots.

"Eliot?"

"I've imagined dying a hundred times in a million different ways…I guess I wasn't…I never…"

"Your not going to die Eliot. You heard the doctor. He's going to make you as good as new."

"Kenna…"

"Stop it right now." She stood and grabbed her coat. "I did not suffer for seven months with Moreau and his minions, gave birth to your son by myself, and get nearly blown up just for you to give up and die on me Eliot James Spencer." Kenna walked out the door, leaving him standing alone in the office.

o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o

"You left him alone…at the doctors…less then twenty-four hours before he's to have major brain surgery?" Nate stood behind the bar and looked at the blond woman in front of him.

"He pissed me off." Kenna looked at the older man.

"He does that daily but you've never just left him someplace and come home." He leaned against the back wall and crossed his arms. "Kenna…"

"It's a mile and a half, he knows the way home Nate. I just couldn't listen to him give up." She felt a hand on her shoulder.

"I wasn't giving up Kenna." Eliot stood behind her. She turned and looked at him. "I just couldn't find the words to tell you…I'm scared." Nate took it as his cue to leave. "I don't want to die."

"Then why did you make it sound like you are?"

"Because I've never been so damn scared in all my life and I couldn't tell you because…I didn't want you to know how scared I was..am." Kenna hugged him tight.

"Believe or not Eliot, I know your human and fear is one of those human emotions that come up now and then."

"It's not something I do often or well." Kenna took his face in her hands and looked him in the eye.

"We depend on you to have our backs. It's time to let us have yours." She kissed him softly. "Let us carry the weight of the world for a few weeks."

"Let us take care of you for once." Parker came from some place behind him. Nate and Sophie came from the back room along with Hardison.

"We'll do the heavy lifting for awhile." Nate said. "You just get yourself well."

"We'll all be here for you and your family." Sophie smiled. "Like you've always been there for us."

"When you heal, you can go back to kicking ass and takin' names." Hardison smiled. "Till then we got your back brother." He had known that his friends would always be there for him. They would take care of his family if he couldn't.

"Well with that said, let's go upstairs and I'll cook for you guys one last meal before you have to wait on me for a few weeks." He hugged his wife one last time, took her hand and they headed upstairs.

o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/

After a great dinner with good friends and lots of talk of jobs past Kenna and Eliot put the kids to sleep and headed up to the quiet comfort of their room. Eliot watched his wife as she went through her nightly routine as if tonight was any other night. He sat on the end of the bed and took off his boots, socks, and slid off his shirt and jeans. When he turned back from putting them in the hamper Kenna was in front of him.

"It's going to be okay Eliot, I promise."

"I know you're a great medic and one hell of a nurse Kenna Shane but your no physic." He ran his thumb down her jaw. "But I think your right. It's gonna be okay. I have too much to do in this life." Her smile had always warmed his heart. She leaned in and kissed him.

"It will be alright Eliot." She pushed him back on the bed and crawled next to him. "You my dear husband are stuck with me for a very, very long time."

"I think I can handle that." He pulled her as close as he could and closed his eyes. "One more night." He whispered before he fell asleep.

/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o/o

"So this is goodbye." Eliot looked up. Grown up Joey stood on the dock in front of him.

"I guess so." He looked out at the water.

"Mom's gonna miss you. She was kinda getting used to having you around."

"She has you here."

"It's not the same. She'll tell you it's okay to let us go but she will take forever to get over it. Kinda like the mom you know did getting over loosing me." Eliot looked at the young man standing next to him. He was so much like his mother. "But she needs you. She won't tell you that she wanted to kill herself when they took her away from you and Faith. That the morning sickness kept her from doing it. She also won't tell you that if you hadn't found her when you did she was going to run. If she had run, she and Chance would have been killed. You saved her and yourself more times than even you know. You've always been her hero dad, don't ever forget that." The light got brighter. "Don't ever stop being that man." He was alone then, on the dock. The light was dimming. He felt hands on his face.

"Eliot?" Kenna's voice was soft.

"DADDY!" Faith's was not. "Wake up daddy…the doctor says your all better now." Slowly he opened one eye. His daughters cobalt blue ones stared back at him. "He's waking up mama"

"Faith Valentine Spencer your father just had brain surgery, yelling at him isn't an option." Kenna picked up the child and put her on the floor.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Williams said we could see you and she bolted out of Parker's arms." She sat next to him. "How are you feeling?"

"Better, I think." He reached for her hand. "I love you Kenna Shane."

"I love you too, Eliot."

"The darkness is gone." He reached and brushed a strand of hair out of her face.

"Good."

"I'm gonna miss talking to Joey." He was still a little groggy.

"I know." She said softly. He closed his eyes again.

"He looked so much like you." Eliot drifted back to sleep. This time he wasn't scared that he wouldn't wake up with the Kenna he knew and loved. His family would be back to normal. His team would be back to normal and he hoped his dreams would be back to normal. Kenna kissed his forehead.

"He'll be waiting for us when we get there, till then we keep his memory with us." She stood and lifted up her daughter. "Say goodnight to daddy baby."

"Night daddy." Faith whispered. "Sweet dreams." Kenna smiled and headed to find the rest of the family to tell them everything was going to be okay.

The End!

Sorry it took so long to get these last chapters in...I lost the rewrites somewhere and hoped I fixed everything but I might of missed a grammer error or six. Thanks to everyone who reads and corrects my stories...you know who you are. I hope to start writing again soon!