I've noticed that when you're alone, reclined in a chair, lying on your bed, hell even washing your hair in the shower, music means so much more. At least, that's how it is for me. So when I found myself listening to Pearl Jam one night, the lyrics struck me. I felt the sorrow and the lament in them, and I decided that it was a wonderful song to apply to Austria and Hungary.

Hope you enjoy~

Last Kiss

When was it again? Was it nighttime?

I think it was. That air had been thick, muggy, oppressive, but you never do notice the weather when you're spending time with someone you love. It was mid-summer, we were in a car, and I had the window rolled down. The wind ripped at my hair, tangling it up in my bandanna. Gilbert had given it to me when we were younger, but I knew it didn't bother Roderich, so I still wore the frayed old thing. Tonight, I wore it paired with a pair of pants I had cut into little shorts and a simple tank top. I knew Roderich was out of place, but I wanted to see him relaxed for once. He looked so different now, I remember thinking, laughing. Replacing his nice, aristocrat clothes, he wore a dingy tee shirt and faded jeans. I thought, I must be the luckiest girl alive, to see him like this. I got to see him always, I mused, but my favorite times to see him was when he was going to bed, when he was sleepy-looking, his hair messy and his ostentatious clothes gone. When he was wearing some soft, cottony pajamas. When he was acting like he was good at 'outdoors' work like our friend, and he was wearing a patched up coat and work pants. Oh, he was still Roderich, but there was something about him when he didn't dress so stuffily. He seemed freer, more tranquil, more relaxed. Maybe it was just my imagination.

He was a careful driver, usually, but I always goaded him into going faster, faster, until he was flying around the corners. Only I could coax his more outgoing side out, but it was well worth all of the effort I put in. To see his expression when he was slipping from his poised elegance was like flying. He looked so natural like this, his half-smiling, half-stern expression, his flashing eyes, the curl of his lips. I laughed and incited him, calling faster, faster, turning up the music, the music he claimed he hated, singing loudly and merrily. Belting out the songs I knew he secretly loved, because I loved them. He would always deny it, but his eye lit up when I sang them.

It was a hot night, did I mention that? The sweat was forming a repulsive sheen on my skin, and I felt sticky and unattractive, but Roderich glanced over and laughed good-naturedly. He didn't care what I looked like. With a free hand, he reached over and rested his long, pianist fingers on my hand, gently, boldly, yet shyly. He was so cute like that. I giggled and reached over, changing the radio station. But the song I changed it from was upbeat and bright; the song it changed to was far from it.

He glanced at me, questioningly, and I hastily changed it. But the mood had darkened. The bright, buoyant notes bounced cheerily throughout the car, but why, why did it suddenly seem so ominous?

"Why did you stop singing?" he asked softly, half-teasing, half-puzzled.

"Are you really fond of my terrible yowling?" I teased, touching his hand with my other one. He shook his head.

"Fine. It's nicer when the car is quiet, anyway."

"Oh, you hurt my feelings!" I teased. My eyes watered, and I reached up and covered a yawn.

"You're already tired?" he mused, turning carefully. We were in a dense wood of some sort, in total darkness. The headlights made a little pool of light ahead of us. The road was in disrepair, and it was really bumpy, but Roderich drove so carefully, that I hardly noticed. He had slowed down again. I pouted, but didn't say anything. His thumb began to move, just slightly, rubbing the back of my hand. I smiled serenely. He was so cute.

Only I ever saw this side of him. It made me feel special. I laughed, and he glanced over, his brows raised in surprise.

We were out on a date in my daddy's car

We hadn't driven very far

The ground became more even, and I reached over, nudging him playfully.

"C'mon, go faster!"

"There is a speed limit," he replied shortly. I shook my head.

"You're just chicken." His lips tightened, and I chuckled.

"You're going to get us killed," he said, trying to seem in control. I shook my head.

"It's only us on the road! You're just afraid!"

"Of what, may I ask?"

"Of acting like a real teenager!" I laughed, "Live a little, Roderich! We only have a year until we graduate!" He tightened his grip on the wheel.

"Don't remind me," he said softly. I leaned forward.

"Don't you wanna get out of this little town?"

"…" He sighed and withdrew his hand, leaving me grabbing for air.

"What wrong, Roderich?"

"… I haven't been able to tell you, but I was hoping I could in a different setting."

"What do you mean…?"

"My parents signed me up for the army," he said softly. My eyes widened.

"What…? No, Roderich, you can't!" I felt a choking feeling in my throat. He shook his head,.

"I don't have a choice in the matter," he said. I shook my head.

"No, no, this isn't right! They can't just send you away! You could do so much if you could go to college!"

"Elizabeta." he said. I stopped. The road became smoother beneath us.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," he said, "And I'll go to college, and life will be great. Trust me." His hand fell on mine again, and I took it and squeezed.

"You better not be lying to me, Roderich," I replied. The radio broadcast became riddled with static, and I beat my fist on the space of dashboard above the machine. The static died out, and Roderich laughed, but when the static left, it was replaced with the brightest, most affectionate song. I turned to him and shook my head.

"The radio sided with you."

"I don't know what your talking about," he replied smoothly, speeding up. The road was unusually even, but we just laughed it off and enjoyed the ride. I picked at him until he was speeding, miles over the speed limit.

There in the road, straight ahead

A car was stalled, the engine was dead

He turned the corner, and we both gasped. There was a car… scattered across the road. It rested on its back like an armored insect, its insides strewn about. Dark smoke gushed from under the hood.

I couldn't stop, so I swerved to the right

If I hadn't asked him to speed up, we might had been able to maneuver around it. It would have been easy, actually, and we could have escaped with a flat tire or scratched door. But we were flying, and he couldn't slow the car enough. He turned the wheel sharply, and I screamed as we found the edge of the tire. There was something-something that turned the car, and we were rolling, rolling down the embankment, down, down. I still had his hand in mine, and my nails bit into his skin as I clutched at it in terror.

The screaming tires, the busting glass

I felt the door press in as it was crushed like tin foil, and the roof came down around us. I was too afraid to cry, but I could feel the tears in my eyes, clinging to my lashes.

The painful scream that I heard last

I heard Roderich's voice, strained and loud, crying out something incoherent. I opened my eyes, but the car was airborne, and when we hit the ground again, I smashed my head against the window. The last thing I heard was the glass shattering before I lost consciousness.

When I woke up, the air was thick and the sky was dark. I could hear my ragged breathing, like gasps, and the faint wail of far-off sirens. Rain had begun to fall, like drumbeats on the creased hood of the truck. Everything was black on one side, and I reached up and gingerly touched the side of my eye. There was shards of something, glass I think, embedded in my skin, and something warm and wet running down my face and cheek. I brought my hand toward my right eye, but it was utterly black, and all I saw was a dark liquid dripping down my fingers in thick tracks. I'm bleeding.

When I woke up the rain was coming down

There were people standing all around

Something warm flowing through my eyes

But somehow I found my baby that night

Everything came back to me. I was in a car. I had just gotten in a car accident. I was hurt. And it was almost certain that Roderich was hurt too. Roderich! He could be hurt, or dead… I needed to find him… I needed to find Roderich… help him…

"Roderich, Roderich… speak to me…" It hurt, but I managed to turn toward the driver's seat. To this day, I wish I hadn't.

He was still fastened into his seat, sitting perfectly still. His glasses were cracked and crooked, barely holding to the bridge of his nose. His face was drenched in blood from two gashes spanning his forehead. I could see dark blood spreading across his shirt. There was a sharp arrow of metal, twisted in a almost seashell-like spiral, jutting from his chest and tipped in glossy red. His arm was pierced as well, pinned to the door as if someone had played a twisted game of darts with his arm as the dartboard.

"Roderich…" I choked out, too afraid to cover my mouth. He opened his eyes slowly. His expression was serene.

"Elizabeta… I'm glad you woke up. I was afraid… that you had died…" He tried to move, but winced and let himself fall back to the seat.

"Roderich… oh, God…"

"It looks worse than it feels," he said, chuckling faintly, "It doesn't hurt at all, to be honest. I can't feel it, anyway."

"God, God…" I felt suffocating tears rise up, and he tried to reassure me with his eyes.

"Come here… can you move?" he reached out with his free arm and brushed a long strand of hair behind my ear, "Let me hold you."

She lifted her head

She looked at me and said,

'Hold me, darling, just a little while.'

I unfastened my belt and crept toward him. My head rested over his heart. It was still beating, I realized; he could still make it.

"Your poor face," he whispered, ghosting his fingers over the shards of glass, "Your poor, beautiful face… look what happened to it… You're going to be scarred up and it's my fault…"

"Don't blame yourself," I said, inhaling sharply as if that would stop my tears, "I was the one who w… wanted you to go faster." He smiled gently and ran his pianist fingers through my hair.

"If you're going to blame yourself, then it definitely is my fault," he said, chuckling. I sniffled and wiped my eyes.

"Don't cry, Elizabeta… It hurts to see you cry. It'll be alright-" he coughed, and I looked up in horror. Even in the dark, I could see the speckles of crimson on his lips.

"No! Y-you… I'm so sorry, Roderich!" I said, letting the tears pour down my cheeks. He smiled faintly.

"It's not your fault," he said gently, "I wanted to tell you something though…" He brushed a tear from my cheek tenderly.

"Anything," I whispered. His fingers began to stroke my hair again, slowly.

"I've always wanted to tell you… I love you, Elizabeta. I love you so much, and that I will always protect you." I began to cry harder, staring at the torn leather of the seat as if it could fix everything.

"Oh, R-Roderich! Please, don't say it like that!"

"Like what?" he questioned softly.

"Like it's over," I whimpered, looking up. His face relaxed and he chuckled.

"Liza…" he said slightly, and he gasped, coughing again. I held onto him as tight as I dared. Amethyst eyes opened slowly.

"I promise… I won't die, Elizabeta. Not now, and not ever." I managed a soggy smile, choked with tears and pain.

"You can't live forever, Roderich."

"I'll find a way to live forever if you won't ever cry again," he said softly. I felt his long fingers slide from the back of my neck and close around my jaw gently, weakly. He angled my face just slightly. I found his eyes; he smiled gently and leaned down. His lips met mine almost tentatively, brushing against them before finding their place. I shivered and moved closer. His lips were warm and soft, a sanctuary. It was like nothing I had felt before. I fell in love, all over again. I felt his fingers move into my hair from my jaw, gentle. Weak. His strength was fading. Finally, we broke, and he smiled feebly.

"I've wanted to do that since I met you, Elizabeta." I smiled, wiping my eyes with his thumb.

"Why didn't you, silly?" I mumbled, sniffling. He smiled weakly.

I held her close, I kissed her our last kiss

I found the love that I knew I had missed

He let out a weak, tired sound, like a shuddering breath.

"I wish I had, Elizabeta," he mumbled faintly, his voice drifting off, "I truly wish I had…" I looked up, and his eyes were closed. His face looked so serene now. I wiped his cheek, smearing away the thick blood, but his skin was already too stained. His pale skin was marred by the dark stains My tears had slowed, and my breathing had as well, but I didn't know why.

"Roderich…" I brushed his hair from his forehead, but I soaked my hand in his blood. He looked at peace now.

"I love you too," I whispered, feeling that familiar throbbing in my head. The world began to shift in and out of focus, and I rested my head over his silent heart before closing my eyes.

Now she's gone, even though I hold her tight

I lost my love, my life, that night

The first thing I felt was cotton. Soft, warm fabric wrapped around me. Clean comfort. I opened my eyes, but I could still only see through my left eye. The other was bandaged up. I realized one of my arms was wrapped up to my shoulder, and I couldn't move it. My eyes shifted around, searching. Was I in a hospital?

How did I get here?

"Ah, you've woken up." I started and glanced toward the voice. A young woman in a white coat stood in the doorway. With a curt nod, she approached me.

"I'm Dr. Arlovskaya," she said softly. She was an imposing woman, surely. She had long, ivory hair and cool blue eyes. "I was just going to check on your wounds. Are you feeling alright? Any dizziness?" I shook my head, feeling a slight throbbing near my eye. She leaned down and rested the back of her hand on my forehead.

"Your fever has gone down," she noted, "Here, I'll be gentle…" She began to unravel the gauze around my eye. The world was really blurry on that side.

"Da… I think if will only cause problems if it's left," she said, standing up, "I'm sorry." She didn't look it though. I nodded, and carefully, she bandaged up my face again.

"Are you hungry?" she asked. I ignored the question.

"How… how long have I been here?" I asked. My voice sounded weak.

"About three days," she said. I sat up quickly, bringing my arm down. I cried out in pain and jerked it back, biting my lower lip to hold back another cry.

"Where's Roderich?" I asked, clutching my arm to my chest. She looked away.

"... Was that the boy in the car?" she asked softly.

"What… happened to him?" I asked, feeling more tears. I used my good, strong arm to wipe my eyes. She turned.

"You have a visitor," she said, "Shall I let him in?" I sunk to my bed.

"Yes…" She nodded, refusing to face me.

I recognized that mess of platinum hair as soon as he entered. He shuffled between his feet awkwardly, looking up and looking down immediately after.

"Gilbert…" I tried to compose myself, for his sake.

"I heard you were in the hospital… so I tried to get in right away, but they said you weren't awake… how are you feeling?" he blurted out, looking up. I nodded.

"A little fuzzy, but I'm doing good. Come on, sit down!" I forced myself to laugh. It sounded so foreign, so fake. "What happened? Someone steal your sunshine?" He smiled insecurely and sat at the edge of my bed.

"What happened while I was out?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Nothing interesting," he said blandly. He was studying me, staring at my bandages.

"Pretty sweet, hunh?" I asked, lifting my arm to show him. It hurt too much and I had to set it down quickly.

"I can't believe you survived," he whispered, and he turned away. Not before I saw a glitter of tears. I laughed again, but it didn't sound like me.

"Are you crying? Really?" I tapped his shoulder, and he glanced back. I grinned widely, forced.

"See? Perfectly fine! Now don't be a baby, Gil!" He shook his head.

"I'm not crying," he said stubbornly, "I'm too awesome to cry. I just got some of the cotton from your mummification in my eye!" He rubbed at his eyes fiercely. I laughed until he turned back to me.

"So… you know…" he looked away. "About Roderich…" I looked down at my hands.

"What happened to him?" I asked softly. He looked at me, but when I tried to make eye contact, he avoided my gaze.

"He…" he looked down at his lap, and I understood.

"He's really gone then…" I mumbled.

"He was already dead when the emergency crews got there… they barely saved you." Though I knew I should have been tearful, hurt, falling apart, I felt nothing. I felt… emptiness.

"Gil…" He looked at me, and I looked into his eyes. He must have seen an empty girl.

"Come here, Elizabeta," he said, opening his arms. I let myself lean against his chest and close my eyes. He rocked me slowly, carefully avoiding my bandages.

"I'll be alright," he murmured, and I nodded for his sake. He was still warm, still alive. I could still rely on my friend. But I would never forget the one man who meant more than the world to me.

Roderich, will you wait for me? I mouthed silently, Will you welcome me with open arms? Can I sit along side you in Heaven, so we can enjoy each other's company again, like we did when we were both so innocent?

Can we do that, or is it too late? Is it too far gone to be just kids again, to play in the grass and watch the sunset? Can we just be young forever in Heaven?

Will you wait? So when my time comes, I can join you? Will you do that for me?

Oh where oh where can my baby be?

The lord took her away from me

She's gone to heaven so I've got to be good

So I can see my baby when I leave this world.

So I was kinda nervous for posting this one... I felt like it probably couldn't contend against C A N C E R or Je T'aime, Tu Me Manques. If I ask nicely, will you all tell me what you think? Even if you hated it... I don't mind. I just want to know what your opinions are.

R&R please.