It was Sunday afternoon you decided to tell Will that you had feelings for him. It didn't take him long to sweep you into his arms, pulling you in for a long, passionate kiss. By Thursday morning, you were thankful that it was summer. You had no where to be, and nothing to care for. Will held you in his arms every night for a week, and you loved it.

You weren't ready for sex. Not yet, anyway. After waiting, and waiting, with Carl, it got worse. You just were afraid, and both Will and Carl respected that. Not once did Carl leave your mind, but you buried yourself deeper into Will's arms, as he held you tighter. His snoring kept you awake, but you weren't tired. You didn't want to sleep. All you did, was lay awake, thinking about everything that had happened during this year.

Will woke up through the night, and he brushed his hair back from your face. "Hey, Em." His voice was a little rough, and he looked sleepy. It was cute. You couldn't help but smile and lean up, kissing his lips. Desperately, Will leaned up, deepening the kiss. You pull away, laying your head on his chest. Will apologized silently, stroking your hair.

"Not ready," you mumbled, clutching his shirt. Will nods his head, stroking your arm, up and down. "I know, Em. I'm not going to push you into anything. I promise you." With his hand on your stomach, you nod your head, placing your hand over his.

~.~

Once you both get back to school, you earn glares from Santana Lopez. It's not her fault, you think to yourself. In fact, you earn glares from most people, now. Carl's a respectable man. Never put a foot out of line, never said a bad word to anyone, never hurt a soul, and yet, you broke his heart. Almost every second, you regret it. You still see him, every once in a while. He looks a little run down.

Last time you saw him, it was in the middle of the market. His eyes were sad, and he looked like he hadn't shaved in almost a month. Your stomach dropped, as Will came over, wrapping his arms around your waist, kissing your cheek. Obviously, he hadn't even noticed Carl. You tear your eyes away for a second to give Will a smile, and when you turn back, Carl's gone.

Since then, you haven't been able to get him out of your mind. The sadness in his eyes broke you. Like you broke him. You think of calling him, but wouldn't he just cry? Wouldn't /you/ just cry? Calling him would have made things worse. But you can't help yourself. Yes, calling him would make things worse. But what about turning up at his door? As soon as you think about it, you're already out the door, with your keys pressed into the palm of your hand.

As you pull up outside your old condo, your heart plummets. Holding your keys tightly in your hand, you knock on the door, clasping your fingers together. As he answers the door, you close your eyes tightly. He's wearing sweats, and looking at you sadly. When you open your eyes, you notice that both of you are already crying. Carl opens the door wider, so you can come in, and you nod. Walking into your old home, you look around. It's different. It's empty without your things.

Turning around to look at him, you see that his shoulders are shaking from crying. You don't even hesitate to wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him against you. Actually, you expect him to push you away. To tell you how much he hates you. But he doesn't. Instead, he wraps his arms around your waist, crying against your shoulder. You can't stand it. You've hurt him so badly. Stroking his hair, you gently rock him back and forth. Not one of you have said a word. It's not an awkward silence, there just aren't any words to be said. But you're the first one to open your mouth. "I'm sorry," you whisper, repeating it several times. When he holds you tighter, this is when you realize, that this is where you belong. In Carl Howell's arms. As Emma Pillsbury-Howell.