A/N:

Yes, uhm, hello there! Yeah, for all of you who know my other stories, you know that I have other stuff to be updating on here, but this thing has been begging me to write it for a while now! So here it is: a Hetalia-fied version of Disney's The Road to El Dorado.

And as much as I hate myself for this (cuz it's my OTP) this is NOT a Spamano story. It just wouldn't allow me to write it that way. There will (probably) be other pairings, but no Spamano *dies*

Okay, for this chapter, the characters that I have recasted are as follows:

Tulio-Romano(Lovino)

Miguel-Spain(Antonio)

Cortes-Netherlands(Lars)

Our glorious city

Was built by the divinities

By gods who saw fit

To bestow

The gift of a paradise

Peaceful and harmonious upon

Us mere mortals below

And made El Dorado

The magnificent and golden

One thousand years ago

El Dorado El Dorado

El Dora-a-a-a-do

Spain 1519

A man, let's call him Lars, pulled a cup of water from the fountain next to where he sat on his horse and held it up to a crowd. "Today," Lars said, "We sail to conquer the New World. For Spain, for glory…for GOLD!"

The crowd cheered and yelled out "Viva Lars!" as a few soldiers shot their guns into the sky.

The shots startled the horse. He reared back, causing Lars to spill the water. "Eyes forward." Lars ordered the horse and threw the cup behind him. It hit a wanted poster on a nearby wall and spilled the rest of its contents on the picture.

Now where are these two wanted men?

"Sevens!" Lovino yelled out in joy with an accompanied "All right!" from his partner, Antonio.

Lovino snatched up the red dice and joined Antonio in a victory dance as Antonio strummed a beat on his guitar.

"Yes!" "Partner!" "Hee-hee!"

"Tons of gold for you"

"Hey!"

"Tons of gold for me"

"Hey!"

"Tons of gold for we" "Hey!" they sang and danced, much to the annoyance of their gambling competitor.

"Hey!" the man, obviously German, yelled out, causing the two brunettes to turn and face him "One more roll."

The two exchanged a look and Lovino turned to the group of men. "Uh, guys, you're broke!" he laughed and rubbed his fingers together to symbolize money. "You've got nothing to bet with!"

"Oh yeah?" the albino man said smugly. "I got this!" he pulled out a map from his vest and held it up for the two to see.

"Pfft, a map" Lovino rolled his eyes.

"A map!" Antonio poked his head from around Lovino excitedly.

"A map." The man confirmed. "A map of the wonders of the New World."

"Wow," Antonio breathed. "Let's have a look!" he ran up to the map and snatched it out of the man's hands, babbling and muttering to himself as he stuck his face in it and scanned it over. Lovino rolled his eyes and attempted to walk away, only to have his shirt grabbed by his friend.

"Lovino," he said and shoved the smaller male's face into the map.

"Excuse us for one moment, please," Lovino addressed the group of men and returned his attention to the babbling Spaniard behind the map.

"Lovino, look," Antonio breathed excitedly "El Dorado, the city of gold. This could be our destiny, our fate!"

Lovino rolled his eyes. "Antonio, if I believed in fate, I wouldn't be playing with loaded dice." He let the dice bounce in his hand in front of the green-eyed man's face to prove his point.

"Hmm!" Antonio pouted, giving Lovino his best puppy dog eyes.

"Oh, not with the face!" Lovino moaned, trying to ignore his friend as he made faces at him. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

"I said!" the albino yanked the map out of their grip. "One more roll. My map against your cash."

"Hmm?" Antonio tried one last time.

Lovino sighed and tuned to his competitor and shook the dice in his hand. "All right, potato, you're on."

"Not with those." The German held out his palm to stop Lovino. "This time we use my dice." He revealed two normal, non-loaded dice.

"Ehh," Lovino looked uncertainly at the outstretched dice and Antonio watched worriedly from behind him.

"Got a problem with that?" the albino sneered.

Lovino gulped and shook his head, shoving the dice back into his pocket and glaring at Antonio as he snatched the other man's dice.

"I'm going to kill you," he hissed.

Antonio looked around himself innocently and pointed at his own chest. 'Me?'

The albino threw the map onto the already existing pile of gold coins as Lovino shook the dice in his clasped hands. "Come on, baby, papa needs that shitty map." He growled. Antonio started to play his guitar again, flirting with a couple of the women watching them.

Lovino held out the dice for one of the girls to blow on, but she walked away, nose in the air. Glaring after her, he did it himself and slid over to Antonio.

"Stop that!" he hissed and Antonio flinched, causing the guitar strumming to stop.

"Show me seven!" he yelled dramatically and threw the dice down the alley.

One of the dice cleanly landed on a three, while the other spun upon itself as the whole audience held its breath. It gradually slowed down and…

The crowd gasped and Lovino uncovered his eyes. He saw the numbers on the dice. "Seven!" he said, unbelieving

"Seven! All right!" Antonio cheered and snatched the map from atop the gold as the albino and his gang stared at the dice in shock.

Lovino laughed and stalked over to the pile of gold and tried to scoop it up into his shirt. "Well, then, nice doing business with you!" the Italian said as the red dice fell out of his vest… and landed on a seven.

The albino frowned and pounded on the ground to shake the dice. Another seven. The crowd gasped. Another hit to the ground, another seven. And repeat.

"I knew it!" he yelled. "Your dice are loaded!"

Antonio and Lovino gasped. The Italian snatched the dice and Antonio played a dramatic tune in the guitar.

Lovino grabbed the guitar to stop the music and turned wide, astonished eyes to his partner in crime. "What? You gave me loaded dice?" he glared at the Spaniard and pointed an accusing finger at him.

His face crashed into the reflective surface of a soldier's breastplate. "He gave me loaded dice!" he cried dramatically to the soldier. "Guard, arrest him!"

"You dare to impugn my honor?" Antonio yelled just as dramatically. "He was the one who was cheating!" he shoved Lovino out of the way "Arrest him! He tricked these sailors and took their money!"

"Oh, so now I'm the thief?" Lovino growled.

"Yes."
"Take a look in the mirror, pal," he tugged the older man in front of the guard's breastplate and forced him to see his reflection.

Antonio growled. "You better give them their money back or I'll-" he grabbed the guard's sword "En garde!"

"En garde yourself! I will give you the honor of a quick and painless death." Lovino grabbed the sword of a nearby man, only to find out that it was a tiny knife. "…But not with that." He grabbed the man's actual sword. "Ha! I prefer to fight fairly. Aha!"

The two swords clashed together and the blades slid across each other to the hilt. The men glared at one another.

"Well, any last words?" Lovino sneered.

"I'll cut you to ribbons, fool." Antonio retorted confidently.

"Such mediocrity." Lovino scoffed as the two pulled apart. "Let your sword do the talking."

"I will. It will be loquacious to a fault!"

"Ha! Take that!" Lovino laughed as they fought. "You... mincing, fencing, twit."

Antonio jumped across some of the nearby tables, dodging Lovino's blade. "Ah, you fight like my sister." Antonio laughed as the two climbed onto the roofs.

"I fought your sister. That's a compliment." Lovino shrugged.

"Braggart!"
"Heathen!"

Lovino lost his footing on the roof tiles and slipped, landing on his back as someone in the crowd yelled out "Kill him!"

"Not the face, not the face!" Lovino said quietly as he tried to block Antonio's thrusts. The Spaniard flicked his blade and Lovino's sword shot from his hand into the older man's grip.

The crowd below them gasped.

Lovino leaped to his feet and addressed the crowd. "Ladies and gentlemen, we've decided it's a draw."

"Thank you all for coming," Antonio continued as he threw the swords and they landed impaled in the ground between the guard's feet.

"You've been great, see you soon."

"Adios~!"

The two jumped backwards and landed on the ground on the far side of the wall.

"Congratulations, you were very good," Antonio praised his friend.

"No, you were good," Lovino smirked.

Something breathed hot air on the side of their faces and they turned to become face to face with a bull.

"…We should have kept the swords, I think." Antonio said worriedly as the bull got closer to him.

"…Y-yeah," Lovino stammered nervously. "I got a plan"

"W-what is it?"

"Uh, well, you...pet him…"

"Yeah?"

"And... I'll... yeah run!" Lovino took off, leaving the Spaniard alone with the angered bull.

Antonio yelped and bolted after him. "Uh, well, thanks a lot!" he screamed as the bull thundered after them.

They quickly came to the wall of the bull pen and tried to climb it, getting to the top before the bull ran it down. "Whoa!" they yelled and hit the ground running, desperately trying to get the bull off their tails.

"They're they are!" the mob of people that they left earlier spotted them and ran at them from their front, the bull still breathing down their backs. They ducked into a crack between the buildings as the bull ran into the mob. It changed direction as the mob ran, choosing instead to follow Antonio and Lovino.

The two men were soon stopped again, this time by a group of guards. They ducked into nearby houses and ran out doors that placed them behind the soldiers, calling out apologies and 'thank yours' over their shoulders.

Momentarily confused, the guards turned back to their fronts, only to be run over by the still pissed bull.

They continued running, climbing on top of carts and roofs and clotheslines as the remaining guards tried to shoot them down with crossbows.

They cried out and stopped running when they reached the end of the roof, staring down at two barrels of water.

"I'll bet we can make that." Antonio said, always optimistic.

Lovino stared at the crazy man for a moment, and then looked over his shoulder at the shadows of the quickly approaching guards.

"Two pesetas says we can't." he argued worriedly.

"You're on!" Antonio yelled as they jumped from the building and into the barrels.

"You lose~!"

Lovino flicked two coins into the neighboring barrel.

They both grabbed the lids and slid them on the barrels as the ropes lifted them onto a ship. "What's happening here?" Antonio asked, fidgeting in his barrel.

"We're both in barrels. That's the extent of my knowledge." Lovino sighed.

The barrels of water were rolled across the deck, causing the water inside to try and drown the two con artists.

They both pushed out the corks and allowed some of the water to flow out so they could breathe. "Okay, tomato bastard, we gotta move fast," Lovino explained. "On the count of three, we jump out and head for the docks."

"Good, good, okay, excellent." Antonio confirmed.

"One, two three!" Just as they pushed up on the barrels, two crewmen placed a large, heavy chest on top of them.

"…Three." They tried again. And again. And again as the ship left the dock.

It was late; the ship was far from Spain now. Wearily, Lovino tried again. "Uh, you ready?"

"Ah, okay." Antonio answered tiredly.

"One more. Let's go. One, two three!"

As they counted, two crewmen removed the chest, allowing the tops of the barrels to pop off easily. It also allowed the whole crew to see them.

The crew frowned at the stowaways, who slowly sank back into their barrels.

"Excuse us," Lovino coughed

"We're outta here."

"Who ordered the, uh, pickles?"

The two were grabbed, chained and thrown at the feet of the captain.

"Lars," Antonio breathed, no more than a whisper, as they stared at the back of the conquistador.

"My crew was as carefully chosen as the disciples of Christ." Lars started angrily, cracking his knuckles. "And I will not tolerate stowaways." Lovino gulped and Antonio stared in horrified awe. "You will be flogged. And when we put into Cuba to resupply, God willing, you will be flogged some more...and then enslaved on the sugar plantations...for the rest of your miserable lives." He turned away from the accidental stowaways with an order to his crew. "To the brig."

Always optimistic, even as he was being thrown into the brig, Antonio quietly hummed out "All right, Cuba~!"

A/N:

So how was it? Good, bad, chase-me-off-the-internet-with-an-angry-mob? Tell me if I should continue this or let it be scrapped plz! Your thoughts mean the world to me!
...Speaking about your thoughts, I need help with casting some of the roles. Especially Altivo (the horse) cuz he's a main character, but he's not human... Any suggestions?

Uhm, right, anyway I'll leave you for now!

Ciao~!