Warning: Contains Yaoi. Slash. BL. Shojo-ai... I KNOW WHAT I SAID. And drabbles of OOCness ^^;

Couples: YuuxAllen, TykixLavi, KomuixReever, RhodexLenalee, CrossxTiedoll (Choo choo, it's the WTFtrain). I was gonna have JasDevi but I'm too lazy so they're not really together.

*I like my coffee the way I like my...*

A gleam appeared in Allen's eye, and he said, with an edge of lust in his voice, "I like my coffee the way I like my men- strong."

Kanda smirked at Allen, and replied, "I like my coffee the way I like my-" He stopped. "Wait... MEN?" The samurai grew murderous and pulled his sword. "Why is that word plural? WHO ELSE HAS BEEN WITH YOU?"

Allen, snubbed, gave Kanda a look. "Never mind what I said... I like my coffee the way I like my man. Bitter and cold."

Kanda 'hmph'ed, turning away, the shadow of a hint of a blush of embarrassment on his face.

The Portuguese man said in a deep, seductive voice, "I like my coffee the way I like my Lavi... hot and steamy, with cream on top."

Lavi made a face from his current position in Tyki's lap, blushing a lot. "I like my coffee the way I like my man- fresh."

Tyki smiled, nuzzling into the crook of Lavi's neck as Lavi squeaked out in embarrassment. "Freshly ground?" He moved forward and back, causing Lavi to completely flush and let out a little 'mew' noise.

Lavi paused, and then laughed. "You're dirty."

Marian Cross swung an arm over another General's shoulder while kicking his legs up onto the coffee table. He chuckled darkly, and said, "I like my coffee the way I like my wine- in large quantities."

Tiedoll paused for a moment, lost in thought. "You know, I like my coffee the way I like my love life- watered down."

A grin came to Cross's face. "You know that's pretty much synonymous with wet, right?"

Tiedoll facepalmed as Cross pulled him closer. "You pervert."

Cross smiled, nipping his shoulder affectionately, ale on his breath. "You know you love it."

The blonde twin laughed at the question. "I like my coffee the way I like my gun-"

Devitto finished his brother's statement, chortling. "With a couple extra shots in it!"

Reever smirked, pushing his hair out of his eyes. He replied with a slight accent, "I like my coffee the way I like my women- I don't."

Komui blinked. "Reevie, what's that supposed to mean?"

Reever exhaled, a bead of sweat dropping down his forehead. "Never mind..."

Komui shrugged, and then replied with hearts in his eyes, "I like my coffee the way Lenalee makes it!"

Johnny said quietly, "Um, Komui-san, I don't think that's how you're supposed to say it-"

Komui immediately went into murderous rage state. "HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY BEAUTIFUL LENALEE'S BARISTA DRINKMAKING SKILLS? I will MURDER you!" He ran after Johnny, who dashed away screaming in horror.

Road blinked, and then smiled innocently. "I. HATE. COFFEE."

Lenalee smiled. "I like my coffee the way I like my girl- spicy."

"Who the hell drinks spicy coffee..." muttered Road angrily as Lenalee pulled her into an affectionate hug.

Kanda said irritatedly, "Oi, I never got to do mine! I like my coffee the way I like my sex."

Allen gave Kanda a warning look.

"Sweet..." said Kanda softly.

The white-haired boy beamed, and exclaimed, "Mou, Kanda, that's so cute!" He threw his arms around Kanda in an affectionate hug.

"-and long-lasting," said Kanda, snaking an arm around Allen's waist with a devilish grin on his face.

Gaarin: Hey guys! It's me! Sorry to disappoint any of you (suckers) who might be waiting for my new chapters of Glitter or IU or Tears or w/e, but I like this idea more! I was inspired by a specific comic in Octopus Pie for this one. Basically, in case you're clueless, the statement is "I like my coffee the way I like my..." then you finish it with some ironic metaphorical joke. For example, if you supported Barack Obama, you might joke, "I like my coffee the way I like my presidents- smooth, strong, and black."

Anyway, if you didn't get the jokes... ask your friend or something 'cause I don't know or care. But two things- when Lavi said Fresh, he meant as in uppity, cocky, or rude. Like in Little Lulu. … and I'm the only person on this whole planet who got that reference, right?

Btw, the soundtrack for this chapter was the parade song from Paprika. "It's... A-SHOW TIME!"