Doctor Who: Don't, Amy

by: domina tempore (formerly "jewel of athos")

Disclaimer: Doctor Who and all of its characters and locations, etc. belong to their respective owners. I'm just borrowing. No copyright infringement intended!

Summary: "Thanks, Spaceman." The Doctor darkened. "Don't ever call me that, Amy. Just…don't." Amy realizes that she's not the first.

Author's Note: It bothers me with series 5 that the Doctor never tells Amy anything about his previous companions. Granted, it would be a painful topic; but he loved them, and they made him what he is, and he owes it to them to keep their memories alive.

The inspiration for this came partially from conversations that I've been having with Aurora Lynn and Spacer8000, and partially from something that my sister pointed out to me in Tennant's Easter special, with Christina. Also, I've always wondered what Amy's reaction would be to finding out that there were others before her (and the deleted scene on the series 5 dvds DOES NOT COUNT. That was an awful scene, and an insult to all of the wonderful companions that the Doctor has had).

*~_|"|_~*

The Doctor and Amy stood at the doors of the TARDIS, looking out into the endless, beautiful darkness that was the universe. Amy had asked him to take her someplace that no human had ever seen before, and he'd sent them spinning off into some random bit of space where only three large, burning stars could be seen; and the rest of the sky was empty. Amy loved it.

After a few moments spent taking it in, imagining that she was breathing in stardust, Amy turned to the Doctor with a smile. "This is incredible," she whispered with awe. "Thanks for taking me here, Spaceman."

The Doctor's smile fell away, and his eyes grew dark and hard and deeply sad, in a way that Amy had never seen before. "Don't call me that," he said in a low voice. "Don't ever call me that."

She was surprised at his sharpness. "I'm sorry, Doctor. I didn't realize that you were going to be so sensitive over a silly nickname –"

"Don't," he repeated, shaking his head. "That's what – I mean, she – Just don't, Amy. Don't." Abruptly, he slammed the door closed. "Don't." He retreated to the control console, his back to Amy. She watched with a frown as he slammed down levers and buttons, trying to unravel what had set him off.

She, he'd said; and Amy didn't think that he'd meant to. She clung to this little piece of his past that he had unwittingly let slip as she headed back to her room, away from his angry silence. She. Had "she" used the word as an insult for him, or as some kind of special pet name? Was she someone who had traveled with him, then? Someone who he had loved? Someone he had lost. That she could be sure of. What else could put that sort of pain in his eyes?

Was that what she was going to become one day then, to him? One more "she"; memories lost or abandoned to time after they (God forbid) parted ways? After all they had done and been through together, would she really become just another mysterious "she" when the next girl came along; just another vague reference? He couldn't even bear to hear the name that this "she" had called him by. Was that the entire legacy that Amy could expect to leave?

She had the uncomfortable feeling that this was exactly what was going to happen to her one day; but she was too scared to go back and ask him. She didn't want it to be true, and she didn't want to think about it.

She was going to have to find other ways of learning more about this mysterious "she" of his past.

fin.

*~_|"|_~*

A/N: I find this idea way more intriguing than maybe I should. I may or may not do more with it, if my Muse is in the mood.