This is something my friend and I wrote when we had too much free time. Enjoy.
The King's Decrees
Written by King Tamaki of the Ouran High School Host Club
Decree One:No male besides the King is allowed within ten feet of Haruhi's person.
Shady Twins-Then can we dress as girls?
Glasses-Go ahead. It will make great blackmail material.
The King-No! I forbid! I forbid!
Mori-...
Decree Two:No half-naked pictures of Haruhi posted on the Ouran High School Host Club website. Or Anywhere!
Glasses-That decree isn't very profitable.
The King-Kyouya!
Shady Twins-We agree! We agree! Yay Kyouya!
Haruhi-I agree with Tamaki-sempai. If I find one more $#$ naked picture of me, I won't speak to any of you.
The King-Nooooooo! My daughter said $#$!
Shady Twins-Hahaha!
Mori-...
Decree Three:Call Haruhi a raccoon at least once a day.
The King-Hikaru! Kaoru!
Mori-...
Decree Four:Disregard the third decree. Hikaru, Kaoru, stop making your own decrees.
Shady Twins-Noooooooooooooooo!
Mori-...
Decree Five:All cosplay costumes must be approved by the King.
Shady Twins-You're no fun!
Glasses-I like surprises.
The King-...
Shady Twins-...
Haruhi-...
Honey-Tan-...
Mori-O.O
Decree Six:Hikaru, Kaoru, stop auctioning off Haruhi's things. It upsets her.
Glasses-Again, that decree isn't very profitable.
Shady Twins-Ha! Kyouya's on our side!
Glasses-Never.
Haruhi-Don't take my things! Please!
Decree Seven:Honey-sempai, stop cuddling my daughter.
Honey-Tan-But Tama-chan! No fair! T~T
Mori-(Growl)
The King-O.O
Decree Eight:No one can come to the club looking like a slob. That means you Haruhi! Wear something cute and lace covered
Shady Twins-We agree! We agree! ^_^
Honey-Tan-That would be so cute, Haru-chan!
Glasses-That would be a nice surprise.
Mori-...
Haruhi-No.
Decree Nine:Mori-sempai, next time you pick up Haruhi, I'm banning you from the club room.
Mori-...
Decree Ten:Don't purposely make me cry.
Shady Twins-How else are we supposed to entertain ourselves? … Besides playing with Haruhi!
The King-You can make me cry all you want! My daughter! T~T
Mori-...
Glasses-^_^ Pictures!
Decree Eleven:In any official events held by the Host Club, Haruhi must wear a dress.
Haruhi-That will never happen. You might as well forget that decree right now.
Mori-... lol
Shady Twins-O.o
Decree Twelve:Any mention of my father is prohibited.
Shady Twins-But the Headmaster said...
The King-Nooooooooooooooo! Save me, Haruhi!
Haruhi-...
Mori-...
Decree Thirteen:Nekozawa-sempai is not allowed in the club room UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!
Cat Lover2-T~T
The King-Aaaaaaaaaaaah! T~T
Mori-...
Decree Fourteen:Haruhi and the twins are not permitted to pick out the cosplay at anytime. Sorry, Haruhi.
Shady Twins-No fair! No fair!
Glasses-Haruhi's cosplay was... interesting but not profitable. I advise against it.
Honey-Tan-I want to do a Candy Land cosplay! Yeah! Usa-chan too!
Mori-I'll... do it.
Haruhi-...
Shady Twins-Shota-con!
Decree Fifteen:Anyone that takes Kouya's clipboard again, be prepared.
Glasses-I will have your head or my revenge, whichever comes first.
Shady Twins-O.O
Decree Sixteen:Whoever hid Honey-sempai's candy, give it back. He won't stop crying.
Honey-Tan-T~T Candy!
Mori-Give. It. Back.
Shady Twins-Scaaaaaaaaaary!
Decree Seventeen:All outfits for Haruhi must meet the Haruhi's Outfit Guidelines. If they don't, I will burn them.
Haruhi-... "Haruhi's Outfit Guidelines?"
If you want us to write Haruhi's Outfit Guidelines review to tell us!