Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.

Author's note: Yeah, I know, it took me forever. I tried to cater to all your wishes, which I most likely haven't succeeded in, but I hope at least some of you will be satisfied. Enjoy!

Awesome Captain Usopp's Sweet Revenge Master Plan, Second Act

"What was that just now?"

Usopp jumped three feet in the air. "Zoro! Damn, do you have to scare me like this?"

Zoro just shrugged with a bored expression on his face. "Was that what I think it was?"

Usopp's gaze returned to the wooden surface of the closed door of Nami's and Robin's room. "I … I think so. Kinda hard to believe, huh?"

"Awesome!" A broad grin curled the edges of the swordsman's mouth up, and Usopp raised his eyebrows. "Mind if I tell Sanji? That's the second of his lovely ladies gone."

"N-Not at all," Usopp answered while thinking, Better you than me! When it had come out that Robin and Franky were an item, Sanji had freaked out and beaten the poor cyborg all around the ship, until he had seen no other way to escape the fuming cook other than jumping into the sea. And even then had Sanji only jumped after him and continued chasing him around the Sunny. No, Usopp definitely didn't want to be the one telling him.

Zoro looked like a predator with this feral grin. "I'll give them some time, though. Don't think Captain's ever scored … that way. If the cook asks, tell him Nami doesn't want to be disturbed under any circumstances. Got that?"

Usopp couldn't suppress a shiver as Zoro's eyes fell on him, and he hurried to nod.

"Good." With that, the swordsman turned back to where his weights were lying, and took up his training once again.

Brain: on hiatus.

Body: moving by itself.

Skin: Tingling all over.

Mouth: … occupied.

Not that he were able to analyse all that anymore. He was led by an urge he would have thought strange … But not that he could even think anymore. Not here, not now. Not with Nami scooped up in his arms and her lips on his, giving him the sweetest taste he had ever experienced. And as he was insatiable Monkey D. Luffy, he had experienced quite a great range of tastes in his lifetime until now.

He entered the room. Kicked the door shut behind him. And continued with what he had been doing until now: kissing his navigator.

She tasted so sweet. He wanted more, so much more, but he didn't know what or how, so he let his body lead him to places he had never known or imagined. He only knew that he wanted more of her … and that was what he took.

"Mhmfy!"

He broke the contact to look her in the eyes. She was staring up at him, mouth gaping ever so inviting, and he almost did it again.

"L-Luffy!" Nami panted, slightly out of breath. "W-What are you doing?"

Hm, good question. What was he doing?

"I don't know," he murmured, his voice so low and dark that he almost didn't recognise it himself. "And I don't care."

"B-But …" she started, but never got to finishing what she wanted to say. His mouth was on hers again, rough, almost fiercely taking her lips in a searing hot kiss that threatened to consume all of her. Which was exactly what he wanted.

He carried her to the bed, where he had to break the kiss anew to lay her down.

"Luffy …" she gasped when he put her down, and he thought he had never heard someone saying his name so beautifully. And beautiful she was, with her face flushed and her lips cherry-red from kissing, gaping up at him.

So beautiful. And, he suddenly realised, it was him who had done this, it was him who had made her flush and pant and gape, letting him feel more powerful than he had ever felt in all of his fights.

Her eyes widened even further when he slowly bent down and started to crawl onto the bed.

He did not have the slightest idea of what he was doing. He just knew … he needed her. It was in his body, in his blood, in his every fibre, and it told him what to do. He was electrified, he was burning, and all of it just felt like heaven.

When he was settled above her, careful to support his body with his right arm so as not to impose too much of his weight on her, he caressed her cheek, enjoying the way she was looking up like she was marvelling at him.

And he was marvelling, too. He felt like emphasising that by planting kisses on every inch of skin he could reach, starting with her mouth, so wet and sweet and soft, and continuing with her cheeks … her nose … her jawbone … down to her neck, where he sucked in the tender flesh as if he wanted to devour it.

Her response was immediate as she gasped and made little whimpering sounds, but he knew by instinct it wasn't because of the pain. Her hands shot up to bury themselves in his mane, and none too gently. Her fingernails were scraping at his scalp while her body arched up into him, and a moan came out of his mouth at the sensation of her pressing up against him. He felt like going wild every second, but not in a negative way.

He had lost his brain on the way up here anyway. Probably even further below, on the deck where the beach chairs were. Where it had started.

But know what? It was all perfectly equal to him now. He wouldn't care now even if a neptunian knocked at the door.

He stopped the kissing when another thing popped into his mind, and he raised his head from the crook of her neck to look at her. Damn, she was so beautiful, and how come he had never noticed? So ignorant of him.

"Say it again," he said, wondering why it came out as something resembling a growl.

"H-Huh?" Nami asked, her eyes wide as she stared back.

"My name," he specified. "Say it again."

"Luffy," she breathed, and he squeezed his eyes shut at the sound. He had never heard something so beautiful. Quick as a flash, he bent down again, shutting her mouth with a breathtaking kiss, and let his hands roam over the tender skin of her belly.

Upwards … upwards.

When they reached their destination, Nami gasped and pressed her body up into his palms, encouraging him further.

Not that he needed any encouragement.

Usopp's eyes went wide at the muffled sounds that came from Nami's room. He couldn't believe it, he absolutely couldn't. That just couldn't be! It was Luffy after all, Luffy! And now he got the girl and they lived happily ever after, or what?

Well, judging by the noises they were making, at least they seemed to be happy.

"Gosh," he sighed. "That's not fair …"

Not that he liked Nami that way or something. But why was Luffy the first one to get a girl? Luffy, their ever so stupid, carefree and happy-go-lucky idiot of a captain! How was that even possible? And could he even know what he was doing? Who had taught him? Or perhaps they weren't doing what he thought they were doing, or Luffy didn't know what he was doing, or …

"LUFFYYY!"

… oh. Doesn't sound like he doesn't know what he's doing, Usopp thought and took a deep breath. He was sweating all over, he didn't know why.

"What are you doing?" a voice interrupted his little eavesdropping operation. His head snapped up to look at Chopper, who stood there like the incarnation of innocence, his head cocked to the left and a fishing rod in one hoof.

"Uhh, well, you know …" he stammered and jumped to his feet. "Ah, you know, Nami told me to watch her door so that nobody can disturb her."

"Ah." The little reindeer nodded knowingly. "Have you seen Luffy?"

"Uhh, ahem, ah, no, not really, no …" His face went hot, and he knew he was blushing.

"Oh, what's with your nose?" Chopper asked worriedly and bent down to check the handkerchief Usopp held pressed against his nostrils. "Waaah, you're bleeding!" he shrieked before the sharpshooter had the chance of hiding it. "Someone call a doctor!"

"It's nothing, Chopper. And besides, you're the doctor."

"Oh." The little doctor stopped his hysteric running and came back. "Are you really okay? Should I examine you?"

"No, Chopper, it's fine, believe me …"

"Okay." Chopper smiled and looked around. "I can't find Luffy," he then complained, lifting the fishing rods.

"You could ask Brook," Usopp proposed, nervously turning his head to hear if any noises were coming out of the room he was sitting before.

"Brook's composing a new piece," Chopper explained and sat down next to his friend – which startled Usopp a great deal.

"Uh, you shouldn't sit here, you know, if Nami finds you …" he tried to convince the reindeer.

"But I'm not in there," Chopper grinned, and Usopp felt cold sweat running down his spine.

Yeah, and I think it's better this way. You'd get traumatised for the rest of your life.

"Oh, Luffy!"

Usopp winced. Oh, no …

"What was that?" Chopper asked, his furry face contorted into a cute little frown. "Was that Nami?"

"I don't know what you mean, I didn't hear anything," Usopp lied and looked up in the sky.

"But someone just called Luffy," Chopper insisted. "Seems like Nami is looking for him also."

"Yeeeaaah, seems so." But Usopp knew that she had already found him, thank you very much.

He searched his mind for ideas how to get Chopper away from there without him noticing. He wasn't supposed to know such things, he was still a child after all!

"Look there, Chopper!"

"Huh?" Chopper followed Usopp's finger, but couldn't see anything abnormal. "What is it?"

"There, don't you see? It's … uhh … Franky's new invention, you know? A device that is able to call the fishes so that they come and get caught …"

"But I can't see anything?" The little reindeer narrowed his eyes and stared intensely.

"Yeah, that's because it's camouflaged! He only built it today, and now he wants to see how it works. Don't you want to try if you can catch any fish?" Usopp congratulated himself for this idea. He was so proud of his incredible creativity.

"Oh! Yes, of course!"

"Phew," the sniper mumbled when his little friend had left.

"Oooooohhhhh …"

He winced again. "Yeah, I know …"

One hour later, Usopp was still sitting next to Nami's door, keeping watch. By now he was covered in sweat, had several bloodstained tissues stuffed in his pockets, and wanted to cover his ears so badly … but that would probably only arise suspicion from the rest of the crew who didn't know. His nerves were worn thin, but he didn't dare leaving his post. He was the one who had started all this, so perhaps he should protect them from Sanji. Also, he just couldn't get himself to leaving this place …

He had to admit, his curiosity had just gotten the better of him. It was exciting.

"Whatcha doin' here?"

He almost shrieked at the sound of the cook's voice. "S-S-Sanji!"

"What's with you?" the blond asked with a frown. "Why are you sitting here?"

"N-Nothing!" Usopp stammered and prayed to all heavens that there'd be no noise from inside Nami's room. He broke out in cold sweat when he saw the tray with two delicious-looking drinks Sanji was carrying in one hand.

"Move it! I have to bring Nami-chan her vitamins," he said rather rudely, and wanted to shove the sharpshooter aside.

"No! She doesn't want to be disturbed!" Usopp exclaimed, getting up. "She said she needs some time alone …"

"So why are you sitting here, in front of her door?" Sanji asked, and Usopp could practically see the suspicion in his blue eye.

"She – She made me! Said she'd increase my debt if I wouldn't …" He didn't know why exactly he was doing this, but he just felt like it.

Sanji sighed, and his shoulders drooped. "Well then. If she comes out, tell me."

The sniper took a deep breath of relief as he saw the cook walk away and disappear in the kitchen.

"Wow," Nami breathed and let her finger travel along Luffy's chest as she lay next to him on her bed.

"Yeah," he mumbled and tightened his grip around her waist. He was staring at the ceiling, still unable to comprehend what had just happened with the both of them. He had never experienced anything that came near to this feeling. He had never even guessed that there were things like this in the world. And now that he knew, he asked himself how he had survived so long without it. "Nami?" he asked quietly.

"What?" Her voice sent shivers down his spine. He wondered why. It had never been this way.

"Let's do this again."

She chuckled in a low tone, which made his breath hitch in his throat. "Like, right away?"

His heart pounded so hard in his chest that he could hear it ringing in his ears. "I'd like to."

She chuckled again, and moved upwards so that she was able to kiss him properly. When her tongue entered his mouth through his slightly opened lips, he gasped again. It was so new, and yet it felt so incredibly like the right thing to do.

When she drew back, he took his hand up to keep her in place. Nami smiled at so much eagerness. She looked so beautiful with her reddened cheeks, her lips swollen from so much kissing, and her eyes half-closed from lust. He gasped again when she let her hand travel to more southern regions, and felt his body react immediately. "Seems like nobody's objecting," she smirked, and bent down to kiss him again … when a low growl escaped from the depths of his stomach.

Nami stopped short – and broke out into laughter.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled with a slight pout, not getting why him being hungry amused her so much.

"It's okay," Nami giggled and gave him a little kiss on the lips. "Let's get something to eat."

"But I want to do this again," he pouted.

Nami smiled and caressed his flushed cheek. "I get the fact that just now you're more inclined to have sex with me again than to eat. And I highly appreciate it. But we can do this again today. Anytime."

"Okay," Luffy sighed and sat up slowly as she swung her legs out of the bed. They collected their clothes that were scattered all about the room, but when Luffy, fully clothed, wanted to grab the handle to leave the room, Nami's hands around his waist held him back.

"Not so fast, Mister," she said amusedly. "Just one kiss …"

He gladly obeyed, and enjoyed the lingering heat between them as their lips touched. With a kiss this had started, and he was glad he had dared to follow Usopp's plan. What he would've missed if he hadn't …

"Wait, let me take a look …" Nami said after they had separated, and with one last smile, turned to open the door. She stuck her head out – and went rigid.

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"I … I was just …" Luffy heard Usopp stammer, and even he knew what would follow now. He heard a loud thump, then another, and Nami, huffing, stomped off towards the kitchen. When he finally followed her, he saw Usopp lying next to the door, out cold and with a large lump on his head.

Wondering what the sharpshooter had done there to deserve Nami's wrath, he trotted off to the kitchen to snatch some snacks away from under Sanji's watchful eyes and momentarily stay his hunger.

The warm feeling in his stomach would last so much longer.

"Owwww …" Usopp groaned as he awoke from his "sleep". Well, that hadn't exactly been the outcome he'd expected.

… Yeah, so much for Awesome Captain Usopp's Sweet Revenge Master Plan.