I'll Be There For You.
Rating: PG 13
Authors Notes: Written for azicrow, who requested- Oliver helping Percy after Fred's death (angsty) Hope you'll like it.
Disclaimer: I'm sooo not JKR. So please don't sue me. *puppy eyes*
Oliver knocked on Percy's door and was surprised when he found it unlocked. It had been four days since Fred's funeral. Percy had sat still and stoic throughout the ceremony then quietly left right after. He hadn't left his flat since
.
"Percy?", he called out as he moved past the sitting room and further into the flat," It's me Oliver, your family asked me to check on you, they're worried about you"
He opened the bedroom door and was immediately assaulted by the stench of alcohol and vomit. Empty Firewhiskey bottles littered the floor, along with clothes and broken glass. The bed was empty though so Oliver moved on down to the bathroom. When he opened the door his heart stopped. Percy was lying face down on the floor, unmoving.
"PERCY!"
Oliver rushed into the room and turned Percy over. The low moan that escaped Percy's lips was almost music to his ears.
"Oh thank Merlin!"
He was only passed out. He pulled Percy into his arms and lifted him off the floor. 'He's so light' Oliver thought. He carried Percy into the bedroom and placed him gently on the bed. Percy moaned and rolled over, curling onto his side. As he did this, the sleeve of his sweatshirt rode up and Oliver noticed a bandage on his wrist. Concerned, he reached down and pulled Percy's sleeve up further. His eyes widened incuriously and he gasped at what he found. Several long angry cuts had been carved into his arm. He reached out and lightly grasped Percy's other wrist and pulled up his other sleeve to find it was the same. He closed his eyes to stop the tears forming in his eyes from falling.
"Oh Perce, why?" he whispered.
He pulled out his wand and whispered a few healing spells and watched as the cuts faded into light pink scars. He then pulled the covers over him. He brushed a stray curl back from Percy's face. He was paler than usual, dark circles marred the delicate skin under his eyes, and he hadn't shaved in days. He just looked so small and fragile.
"Don't worry Perce, I'm here now and I'm going to take care of you. "He whispered fervently.
He placed a soft kiss on his forehead then set to work cleaning the flat.
A few hours later, after finishing cleaning and removing anything Percy could use to hurt himself, Oliver was dozing off on the sofa. He was jolted awake by a loud crash coming from the bathroom. He jumped up and rushed into the bathroom. Percy stood there with his back to the door, blood dripping from his hand, the shattered remains of the bathroom mirror all over the sink and floor.
"PERCY!" Oliver shouted.
Percy whirled around; his eyes were wide and frantic.
"W-W-What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice trembling.
"I came to see how you were doing. Let me see your hand." he said reaching for it.
Percy snatched it away.
"It's fine, and so am I, you can go now." he said shortly.
"No, you're not."
Oliver reached out quickly and grabbed Percy's wrist. Percy tried to pull away but Oliver was stronger. He grabbed Percy's sleeve and pushed it up, revealing the scars.
"Does this look fine to you?"
Again Percy tried to pull away. This time Oliver let him. Percy pushed past him and went into the bedroom. Oliver followed and stood in the doorway, leaning on the doorframe. Percy was searching the bedside table.
"It's not in there." Oliver said casually.
Percy spun around and glared at him.
"What have you done with my wand?" he demanded
.
"I took it away for your own protection. I've also removed all the knives from the kitchen, and the razors from the bathroom but I take it you noticed that already. That is why you broke the mirror right? Is that what your life has become? You drink till you pass out then as soon as you wake up you cut yourself?" Oliver asked angrily.
"You don't know a bloody thing about me, now give me back my wand and get the hell out!"
"I'm not leaving until I get some answers. Why would you do this to yourself?"
"What I do is none of your concern!"
"None of... Percy I care about you. You're family cares about you." Oliver said gently, moving into the room.
"My family is better off without me!"
"That's not true. Why would you think such a thing?" Oliver asked confused
.
"Because it's true! All I do is cause them pain, they don't deserve that."
Percy was trembling now. Oliver moved closer but Percy stepped back.
"Don't come any closer."
Oliver stopped.
"Alright Perce, I won't, just talk to me. Tell me what's wrong."
"You wouldn't understand." Percy said softly.
"Help me to understand then. Please?"
"Why do you even care?"
"Percy, I know I haven't been much of a friend to you since we left school, but I never stopped caring about you. You're my best friend..."'...and I love you' he added silently in is head. This wasn't the time to go confessing his feelings for the redhead.
Percy just looked at him. His blue eyes were dull and bloodshot. He closed them and looked away taking a deep, shaky breath.
"I killed my brother." he said his voice sounded broken and hollow.
Oliver was taken aback.
"What are you talking about? You didn't kill Fred."
"I abandoned them, I threw my family away and when I decided I wanted them again fate punished me by taking Fred away. It's my fault."
"So now you feel you have to punish yourself? Percy, hurting you won't bring Fred back. It's dangerous; you could end up killing yourself."
Something dark flickered in Percy's eyes before he looked away. Suddenly Oliver understood. Percy wasn't trying to punish himself he was trying to kill himself.
"Oh. Oh Percy..."
Percy looked up at him, his sorrowful eyes full of tears.
"It should have been me." He said shakily before dropping to his knees. Oliver was across the room in an instant, wrapping Percy in his arms tightly.
"It should have been me, it's my fault, I should have stayed away, if I hadn't been there I wouldn't have distracted him and he'd still be alive."
Oliver held him tighter and stroked his back.
"No Perce, it wasn't your fault. None of it was, and killing yourself isn't the answer"
"Once I'm gone I won't be able to hurt them anymore."
"And losing you won't hurt them? Percy it would devastate them. Geez, when I came in here and saw you lying on the floor, I thought you were dead and it nearly killed me, I can only imagine what it would have been like if your Mum or Dad had found you. Don't you know how much we love you?"
Percy pulled back and stared at him.
"Ol-Oliver...y-you love me?"
Oliver was slightly shocked. How did he know? Oliver ran his last words through his head .Damn; he cursed himself for his slip. He sighed and looked into Percy's wide, tearful, and perhaps a bit hopeful, eyes.
"Yes, I do, I love you very much."
Percy just continued to stare at him as silent tears slipped down his lightly freckled cheeks. Oliver reached out and lightly brushed his thumb across Percy's cheek, wiping the tears away. The next thing he knew, Percy was pushing him onto the floor. Percy took advantage of Oliver's surprised gasp to capture his mouth in a passionate kiss. He buried his fingers in Percy's soft curls and returned the kiss. It was raw and desperate and so very very intense. The things Percy was doing with his tongue made Oliver's toes curl. It wasn't until he felt Percy's hands trying to undo his belt that he remembered that Percy was damaged and vulnerable and there was no way he could take advantage of him like that. So with every ounce of will power he possessed, he grasped Percy's hands and broke the kiss.
"We can't, you're not thinking straight."
Percy pulled back and stood. He turned his back to Oliver.
"I understand. Why would you want me? I'm... I'm..." his voice broke and he began to sob.
Oliver got to his feet and put his hand on Percy's shoulder and turned him so he could look into his eyes.
"Percy, I want you so much it hurts, but not like this. Not when you're so vulnerable."
Percy looked up at him.
"Will you stay here with me tonight? Just hold me. I want to feel something other than the emptiness and pain."
"Of course, as long as you swear you'll never try to hurt yourself again. I couldn't take it."
"I promise"
Oliver then lifted Percy into his arms and carried him to the bed. After getting Percy settled he spooned up behind him and held him close. Just as they were drifting off he heard Percy whisper.
"I love you too"
Oliver smiled. In that moment he knew that Percy would eventually be ok and he would be there right beside him the whole way.