In our last episode, our main character was dreaming about performing a violin recital (aww!) when he was interrupted (in dreamland) by Suzaku turning on a vibrator that was up his ass.

Huh.

He woke up confused and, er… sticky. C.C. admitted that she showed him that dream because he manages to sleep with her naked without reacting, doesn't own porn, doesn't masturbate and is (gasp) a VIRGIN. In short, he is finished as a seventeen-year-old man.

Desperate and adorably awkward, Lelouch brought this up with Suzaku, and Suzaku stated that he has had sex. Lelouch was oddly devastated, probably because Suzaku surpassed him and not jealous, but it's open to interpretation.

THEN Rivalz interrupted and, since they were talking about sex, decided that the logical thing was for the three boys to sleep over at a hot springs together, amusing themselves the whole night long.

…kay. Um. Wasn't Rivalz our token straight guy? Never mind. He fell asleep immediately.

Suzaku was awoken by Lelouch straddling him and demanding to know if he really was finished as a man. Suzaku gave the most half-hearted, non-supportive answer and I cringed. Lelouch drooped. Suzaku apologized and I loved him again. Lelouch, however, was fixated on overcoming this disability.

Suzaku, naturally, slipped his hand into Lelouch's robe and started jerking him off.

Lelouch flailed because this is a Suzaku/Lelouch doujin. Suzaku assured him that experience is the best way, and that it'll have no deeper meaning other than feeling good. Lelouch got a little fixated on the word 'meaning' and Suzaku threw him down and started to have his way with him.

Lelouch yelled and flailed because this is a Suzaku/Lelouch doujin. Suzaku reminded him that Rivalz is sleeping and will wake up if Lelouch is noisy. Lelouch tried to keep quiet as Suzaku's hand moved over him but… um… didn't.

Rivalz stirred (why is he here again?) and Suzaku suggested a relocation.

They moved outside, by the hot spring (that's why Rivalz was there! The porn required it! Awesome!). Lelouch tsuned then slipped and fell into the hot springs (I LOLed). Suzaku tried to save him because he's Suzaku and got an eyeful of wet, half-naked Lelouch and confessed that he's bi. Because wouldn't you be?

He stated working Lelouch again, assuring him that the water protected his modesty (ha!) and licking his neck and everyone should download the doujin just for the next sequence of images because they involve things like upside-down kisses, half-submerged Lelouch with his panties (LOL) halfway down his thighs (or up, from this angle), and Suzaku's happy "I just made Lelouch come" face.

Lelouch wanted to know if this 'counts'. Suzaku admitted that it doesn't, quite. Lelouch was visibly disappointed and Suzaku asked if he actually wanted to lose his virginity.

Lelouch yelled and denied that, because this is a Suzaku/Lelouch doujin. :p

Suzaku joked he's never been inside another man, and Lelouch doubted that it's even possible. Suzaku and everyone reading agreed that Lelouch is freaking adorable.

Then there was a slight tone change and Suzaku pointed out that Lelouch didn't not want sex. He just didn't want anyone who wasn't Suzaku. Lelouch, rather than denying this, asked if they could do it in a more elegant way. Suzaku perked up and agreed.

The dounjin ends with Suzaku asking why Lelouch didn't ask Rivalz, and Lelouch explaining that Rivalz is gossipy. Milly? She would have mocked him. But Suzaku was okay? Lelouch feels like he's probably, in hindsight, the worst of the lot.

So! We left our characters in the hot springs, in loose robes, under a starry sky. The score is Lelouch: one orgasm; Suzaku: ultimate win.

What we're left with is a mildly S!Suzaku, and a tsundere naïve!Lelouch. In a hot springs.

And this, gentle reader, is where our tale begins…