Yes, I know, I keep disappearing. I had a break from the Resi fandom. Anyway, I was staring at my new word, and then it hit me.

Warnings; Slight crack? I'm not sure, I think I might be losing my touch. We'll see. Making a fool out of Leon. Teehee. :)

Word?
Heels.

I sincerely hope you'll enjoy this!

There were some things Leon always did whenever he was sent on a mission, and one of those things was investigate every single thing he came across. It didn't matter if there wasn't a lot of time left, Leon just couldn't help himself whenever he saw a closet, a shabby cabin or even a bin.

He just had to investigate it. Because, well, there was always a possibility that he would find something of interest or something important. Or maybe even a treasure. Or helpful information regarding his mission.

That day, while he was at Salazar's castle, his investigations took up a lot of time. There were so many closets, so many tables, so many boxes… It was like no matter where he went, something would get his attention, and he couldn't just turn around and walk away. He was drawn to everything like a bear was drawn to honey. Like Pooh Bear was drawn to honey. And there was no use in trying to repress his urges, because he wouldn't win that internal fight anyway.

And so, when Leon found a box hidden underneath Salazar's bed, he had to find out what was in it.

Carefully, he grabbed the box and held it against his ear. He couldn't hear anything in the box, so he figured it was safe to open it. After all, everything that remained silent was to be considered safe. Or so Leon thought, and let's not ruin his logic, right?

With an almost excited look on his face, Leon pulled the lid from the box. He frowned as he saw there was a plastic bag inside of it. If whatever was in the box had to be wrapped twice, then perhaps there could be a threat to it after all. Even Leon could understand that.

With a small amount of fear, as if he was trying to deal with a time bomb, Leon took the bag out of the box and opened it. He took a glance inside and saw something black. Deciding nothing would blow up in his face or eat him alive, he reached inside the bag and took the two objects out.

"Shoes, huh?" Leon was staring at a fairly large pair of black shoes. They appeared to be made out of leather, and they had very high heels. "Now why on earth would Salazar be hiding a pair of high heeled shoes underneath his own bed? Is he spending his free time walking around on these?" Leon scratched the back of his head and sighed. "Nah, I doubt that… They're too big for him. Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if they'd fit me."

Fit him? Would they really fit him? Leon couldn't help but wonder if they would. He also wondered what it would be like to walk around on shoes like that. It didn't seem very comfortable to wear them, but they couldn't be that bad, right? "Ada wears them everywhere, she can even fight on shoes like these… So why couldn't I?"

Leon put the shoes on Salazar's bed and glanced behind him. Ada had left an hour or so ago after their little encounter, and Ashley was stuck somewhere. Luis had not been around for a while, and the only people he did come across were those who were trying to kill him in the name of Saddler. That meant Leon did not have to worry about anyone seeing him wearing those shoes, and therefore it seemed safe enough to try them on. "If Ada can do it, so can I," Leon stated to himself, a bit louder than he intended.

He sat down on the bed, undid the laces of his own shoes and pulled them off. He threw them next to the bed and grabbed the pair of heels. He tried on the left shoe first, but it wouldn't fit properly. He was able to put it on, but it was a bit tight, and that was just highly uncomfortable. Leon frowned and decided his socks had to come off too, otherwise he wouldn't be able to walk around without any pain.

Leon did as he thought right away. He threw his socks next to his own shoes, and tried the heels on again. "Well I'll be damned, they fit quite nicely."

Carefully, he stood up and took a few steps. Slowly, because he suddenly had to balance his body in a way he wasn't quite used to. "Oh man, how do women do this? I've seen them run on high heels, are they born with a gene we men are not aware of?"

"¡Te voy a matar!"

Leon turned around with the speed of light when he heard the voice yelling at him. Behind him, there were four monks, probably out to take his life. "Damnit." Leon shook his head and grabbed his handgun. "You people have the worst timing, ya know that?"

He didn't get a reply. Well, that was okay, it's not like he was expecting one anyway. Instead, the monks closed in on him, their arms reaching out to grab a hold of his neck for when they would get close enough.

Leon shot two of them in the legs, making them kneel right in front of him. He took a large step towards the kneeling monks and…

He tripped. He tripped over his own feet.

"No!" Leon yelled loudly as he tried to stand back up. Sadly, he had dropped his handgun when he hit the ground, and one of the monks was standing on it. While Leon was still trying to balance himself again, two cold, white hands locked around his throat.

Fighting for air, Leon made an attempt to grab his knife, which was his favorite weapon to use in close combat situations.

However, the moment he was holding it in his hand and ready to use it, he heard three loud gun shots and all four monks dropped on the floor in front of him, dead.

Gasping for air and with his heart pounding in his throat, Leon turned around slowly to see who had killed his attackers.

Oh, of course... It was him.

"Ya know strangah…" The Merchant smirked, though it went unnoticed behind his trademark scarf. He was pointing at Leon's shoes. "That is why they call those shoes killer heels."

Ooooooh... I'm sorry. xD This is my come-back. Not the best, but I tried hard. I haven't been very inspired lately.

I hope you liked it. If ya did, feel free to leave a review. If you didn't... I'm sorry.

FUNK.