"So," Roy said, as Sariel sat down at the kitchen table next to him. "I don't mean to be an alarmist or anything, but has anyone seen Kenshin or Edward lately?"

Sariel gave Roy a sour look. "I'm Edward."

"You know what I meant," Roy said.

The other Edward, the older one, was fixing his own breakfast. "I'm Edward too," he reminded them both.

"Really?" Roy said. "Are we really going to do this now?"

Sariel speared a sausage link with his fork and studied it. "Why, is there a better time?"

"Fullmetal."

"Still doesn't narrow it down," the older Edward said.

"Have I ever referred to you as Fullmetal?" Roy retorted.

"Nope." Edward flipped the egg in his skillet. "But you also do your damnedest not to have to refer to me by any name, actually, which is kind of adorable."

Roy glowered at the other Edward. "And what am I supposed to call you, then?"

Edward gave the other man a sharp grin. "Well, my rank is a good start."

Sariel snorted around his bacon. "Like hell he'll call you that, he gets freaked out when your boytoy calls you that."

"ANYWAY," Roy said. "Missing people. What are we wanting to do about this?"

"Who died and left you in charge?" Edward asked rhetorically.

"I'm oldest," Roy said. "And the thought of any of you being left in charge is rather horrifying."

"Hey now, I am quite competent, thank you very much," came from the Edward by the stove.

"A hundred bucks says they eloped," Sariel said.

"What, really?" Roy said. "What makes you say that?"

"Why else would Kenshin skip out without letting someone else know?" Sariel said. "I bet they're busy fucking enthusiastically in a hotel room somewhere as we speak."

Roy frowned. "I am just worried, that's all."

"They'll come back eventually," Sariel reminded him. "Then you can go back to making me your number one priority."

Roy gave Sariel a look. "Self-confident little thing you are this morning, aren't you?"

"'Little?'"

The other Edward measured his hand against his chest. "What, he only comes up to here on me, right?"

Sariel's look could melt steel. "What is THAT supposed to mean?"

"It means," Edward spelled out patiently, "That out of all of the Elrics here, you're undoubtedly the shortest."

Rian was trotting down the stairs, the smell of breakfast overwhelming in the 'Sou, when the sound of breaking dishes made him hurry his stride.

The colonel came tearing out of the kitchen laughing, plate held out in front of him and somehow managing not to spill its contents all over the floor. Hot on his heels the angel version of Edward, Sariel, was waving a fork like it was a spear and yelling incoherently something about slipping through the tines of a fork. Rian stopped on the bottom stair and waited for them to lap the living room.

Roy came to the doorway that separated the kitchen from the dining room and watched the chaos. "At least it's never dull," he murmured.

Rian gave Roy an exasperated look. "Colonel!" he yelled, and then took off after them both. Roy shook his head and sighed, and then looked back at the kitchen. Someone had to clean up the mess, after all.