Johnny wearily opened his eyes, squinting out into his darkened bedroom. In the faint glow of the alarm clock (which read 12:15 AM with its red digital numbers) he could make out what appeared to be the shape of a person… or maybe a cactus sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Johnny, am I ugly?" A soft feminine voice asked.

"Well, I guess it's not a cactus." Johnny mumbled, barely awake and rather distraught by the invasion of his privacy.

"What?" The voice asked with a hint of confusion before becoming softer and more apologetic, "I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

"Ah, yes! It's after midnight… and I was in my bed… sleeping!" Johnny replied angrily.

"I'm sorry, I'll let you get back to sleep."

"Good!"

"Right after you answer a question for me."

Johnny groaned, still not 100% sure who he was talking too although he had concluded it was one of his sisters; after all, Cissy would never be so bold as to break into his house at night.

"Am I ugly?" The voice asked, hints of panic in her voice.

"What? Why are you asking me?" Johnny asked.

"Well… I can accept that Gil hasn't noticed me despite my 2,382 attempts to get his attention and make him love me but…" The voice explained.

"But what? Being crazy obsessed about a boy who doesn't know you exist isn't enough? What else is there?"

"Eugene. I mean, I don't like him… he's repulsive even by dweeby boy standards but…"

"But what?"

"He doesn't even act like he knows I exist! He goes after Susan with undeniable enthusiasm and passion but has barely ever said my name aside from the time we gave him that lozenge that altered his brain! So since Gil won't notice me and Eugene doesn't notice me… I must be ugly."

Johnny sighed. Usually he'd say something witty (or at least something that seemed witty to himself and Dukey) but Mary really seemed upset… not to mention its hard to think of witty things to say at midnight.

"You're not ugly." Johnny replied, again with a sigh. He hoped in vain that his simple statement would be enough but as his eyes adjusted to the light he could see Mary was still there and hints of a slim trail of tears streaming down her face.

"Really, you're not ugly. I mean, Gil doesn't notice either of you and that's probably because he's spent too much time in the sun and Eugene… I can't even begin to imagine why he only picks out Susan and not both of you."

Again Johnny hoped that what be enough but though he could tell Mary was listening to him it was clear his statements hadn't affect her.

"Seriously, don't tell Susan I said this but I can't understand why Eugene doesn't go after you. You're prettier, kinder, and less manic then Susan on her best day!"

"Are you being serious?" Mary asked.

"Of course, I don't lie this early in the morning… except in my bed… asleep… like both of us should be doing right now." Johnny replied, hoping his little sarcasm would get Mary to leave.

"You're right." Mary replied softly, her voice displaying a hint of relief.

Before Johnny could lie back down he felt Mary's slender arms wrap around his neck and her soft, tender lips press up against his and linger there some time. Johnny was suddenly discombobulated; his sisters had kissed him before and it only happened after he did something extremely important for them and they were having a family bonding moment. Assuring Mary that she wasn't ugly could fall into that scenario, Johnny thought, but Mary wasn't giving him the usual squeeze hug and peck on the cheek.

"Good night Johnny." Mary whispered as she finally backed away from Johnny. With the lights still out neither Mary nor Johnny could see how red and flushed their faces were. A few seconds later Johnny heard the latch on his bedroom door close, letting him know Mary was gone.