If you're still with me for this story, I honestly have no words. Thank you so much for your devotion, persistence, or bland interest, whatever your motivations may be. I can't promise that this attempt will be spectacular, but I can say that it'll be much more coherent and well-written than the previous attempt.

Again, I'm so sorry, and thank you for sticking with me thus far. I hope I don't disappoint again.

2008

Darcy checked his watch for the thirteenth time, a frown forming on his face as he noted that she was now thirty six minutes late. Charlie had warned her about this, had told him that she had a propensity for being a little disorganized, but he didn't think it'd be this bad. He put down his novel and sighed, reaching up to loosen the knot of his tie.

His doorbell rang just as his fingertips reached the silk and he sighed again, feeling a dispassionate sort of irritation as he moved towards his front door. Really, he could forgive ten minutes' wait, but nearly forty was just ridiculous. He had half a mind to tell her so, too, when he swung open the door. He opened his mouth, ready to say something, when he was abruptly cut off.

"God, I'm so sorry, I had this meeting that ran terribly overtime, and I couldn't get out of it without a good excuse, and of course a blind date is definitely not a good excuse to give to the principal, so I had to sit there as he droned on and on and... and yeah." The woman brushed her bangs out of her eyes and looked up at him, cheeks turning a bright pink as she realized he was staring at her. "I'm sorry, I have this tendency to ramble when I'm in an uncomfortable position, much like this one, actually, since you're just kind of standing there not saying anything - "

"Come in," Darcy managed, remembering his manners. The woman gave him a grateful smile and he absently took note of how her slim face seemed to glow when she did so. Then he shook his head, called himself crazy, and blamed it on the porch light.

"I'm Lizzie," she said, sticking out a hand. "Lizzie Bennet. But then again, you already know that." The little grimace on the edge of her lips told her exactly what she thought about this forced date.

Darcy shook her hand gingerly, flipping through his memory. "Uh... I was expecting Elizabeth, but I'm sure I can remember the nickname. It's quite common, after all."

She gave him a strange look but nodded, fiddling with her purse strap. "So... what exactly are we doing?"

He checked his watch yet again. "I had a reservation for seven o'clock, but seeing as how it's almost eight, I don't think they're still holding the table." His tone held a hint of blame in it and she caught it, arching an eyebrow at him but refraining from comment.

"Right. Well then, I'm sure McDonald's is open," she said. He blinked at her, a furrow appearing between his brows. "It was a joke," she added, voice slow and exaggerated.

His face didn't straighten. "Okay... Maybe we can go to the restaurant anyway, they might have an open table."

"Or we could... I don't know, order take out." He glanced at her face, expecting to see humor, but frowned when he realized she was being serious. "I haven't eaten since nine in the morning, so I'm starving for anything. And Chinese sounds a lot better than some fancy place where I have to keep a cloth napkin in my lap and eat like I have the appetite of a rabbit. Besides, it's a blind date, we shouldn't have to try too hard."

He scrambled to find words. "Uh, I'm going to be completely honest here, I don't really do the whole ordering in thing for dates. It's just not - not classy, or whatever you'd like to call it. I think it'd be much better if we had some structure here. I'll call the restaurant and see if they still have an open table. It'll take some time, but I'm sure a few minutes won't matter to you anyway. If it's free, we can - "

His plan and her impending objection were interrupted by his cell phone going off. He drew it out of his pocket with an expression similar to that of a drowning man seeing a lifeboat. "William Darcy speaking."

Lizzie, on her part, simply rolled her eyes and shifted her weight to her other foot, taken aback by the way he was dominating their plans. She would mind if they had to wait for a long time for a restaurant she probably wouldn't like anyway, especially since Chinese was much faster and the lone granola bar in her stomach was feeling extremely lonely. She sighed and looked around the foyer listlessly, taking in the dark wood furnishings and modern decor. She shivered, feeling a chill that came from more than just the air conditioning vents.

"At home, we haven't... no, she's just arrived." Lizzie tuned back into his conversation as she realized he was talking about her. He shot her a furtive look and paced towards the staircase, resting an arm against the banister.

"My God, she's late," a tinny female voice shrieked from the cell phone. Lizzie's eyebrows rose once again. "That's ridiculous, she has no sense of common courtesy - "

"Yes, well... Look, I have to go, I'll talk to you later."

"Wait, are you busy later tonight? It's only eight; maybe we can meet up later? Let's say ten thirty."

Lizzie scoffed and tucked her hair behind her ear, giving Darcy an open look of disbelief. He pretended not to notice and shifted away from her, lowering his voice a few notches. "Yeah, I can do that. Yeah - yeah, ten o'clock sounds good. Yeah. Okay, see you then."

"Are you kidding me?" Her voice was more incredulous than offended, her eyebrows disappearing behind her bangs. "You do realize that I could hear what she was saying? And even if I couldn't, it's just - just rude to schedule a date right after another one, albeit being a blind date!"

"Showing up forty minutes late to an appointment is pretty rude too," he pointed out, shoving his phone back into his pocket.

"I was stuck in a meeting! You had every right - no, you should have had the common courtesy to say no!"

"Excuse me, but I don't feel like extending the 'common courtesy' to a woman I met five minutes ago, no less a woman who has already left a bad impression because of her tardiness!"

Lizzie let out a short laugh. "Look, buddy, I'm a high school teacher. I know exactly what unexcused tardiness is, and I can definitely say that a meeting with my boss is an excused tardy!"

"Regardless, I'm trying my best to actually make this night work, but you want to order Chinese food and ruin the whole thing from the get go - "

"Actually, ordering in would be more efficient, not to mention probably more appetizing than whatever mess of vegetables your beloved restaurant wants to serve me."

Darcy took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. Lizzie watched with grudging fascination, as she'd never seen anyone actually do that before. "Okay, this was probably a bad idea from the start."

"What?"

"This." He motioned between himself and Lizzie. "I don't know what Charlie or Jane were thinking, but obviously we're not compatible at all. I told Charlie I didn't want to be fixed up..."

"Yeah, well, neither did I. I just did this to make Jane happy." Lizzie felt a swell of frustration crash over her head. "So... you can run into the arms of your - your lover now, or whoever the hell she is - "

"She's Caroline Bingley, Charlie's sister," Darcy snapped. "I don't have lovers, contrary to what you may believe - "

"Right, because the very word 'lover' implies feelings of in general, actually, which you don't seem to possess." She suddenly felt like she was suffocating. She turned on her heel and yanked the front door open, stumbling only slightly on the corner of the mat. "Obviously this was a total mistake. If things go well, we'll never see each other again. Have a nice life, Billy."

She slammed the door behind her, leaving him speechless as he stared after her.

No one had ever called him Billy before.