The next day, I went back just as energetic to get on with the next recordings for our new album. I handed over my lyrics for them to look at and nodded as they said, "Wow you got this done quickly this time."
They looked at each other. Then, they looked at Yuki in the doorway who was scratching his head with a slight blush. And he looked every other way except theirs.
"Yu~ki needs me," I was singing in my head. "Yuukiii~ needs me..."
"We can hear you," Sakano, K, and the rest said.
"Ehehehe." I laughed.
(part 2 continued)
"Hiro smiled at me and hit my head with the usual, "Don't worry me like that, you idiot."
I turned once again into a chibi and jumped into his arms, "Ah, you know you love me."
Hiro cleared his throat as he sweated. "Just sing your songs."
He never could resist me. No, no. I know he just can't. * chu *
Hiro then started to play around with his guitar.
I ran to Yuki and kissed him on the lips before entering the recording booth while winking, "Just for good luck."
And we started to record, "Infatuation":
[I look at Hiro.]
My tired heart has had it fill of sadness,
and I don't think I can drink any more blood.
And when this day came,
I thought I was going to die...
[Closing my eyes, I think of Ryuichi.]
Don't know why
Taking all the pain and swallowing.
Don't know why
I love you so much it hurts!
This isn't Infatuation.
Just say that you need me.
You think it's too much
then tell me and I'll stop,
That is Infatuation.
Tell me that you want me
And I won't ask for anything else.
I promise.
[I think of Tatsuha...]
There are too many lovers,
You can say 'I love you' to anybody,
but when I said it to you,
I knew it was different.
Thought it was the same my way.
Don't know what
love is really, but I'm understanding.
Don't know how
to show it without being too passionate.
Infatuation
is when your heart doesn't stop beating
so fast that you think you won't survive.
Want to be with you always, no that's not it.
Infatuation
isn't the kind of idea I want,
that is just a feeling.
I want the real thing.
[Looking directly at Yuki...]
(whisper) You think I ask too much
Then just push me away...
I don't want just your heart
I don't want just your mind,
I don't want just your soul.
I want everything.
[Closing my eyes, I sing as if pouring my heart out...]
This isn't Infatuation.
Just say that you need me.
You think it's too much
then tell me and I'll stop,
That is Infatuation.
Tell me that you want me
And I won't ask for anything else.
I promise.
Infatuation (it's just an intense concept)
is when your heart doesn't stop (an illusion in the least)
beating so fast that you think you'd die, (that's if I lose you)
Infatuation (It's just a frame of mind)
isn't the kind of love I want, (it's just fake)
that is just a feeling. (I don't want a part.)
I want the real thing. (I want all of you.)
Then, I added in a low and seductive whisper in the end, "Show me."
Nodding my head with my eyes closed as if to cry, I smiled confidently to myself.
"This is my own happiness," I whispered to myself.
Opening my eyes, I felt the intensity of it all. My body feels tired, but it can still go on. The sweat drips down my face. My heart is pounding inside of chest...
I now understand Ryuichi-san...this feeling you spoke of...
--
Author's notes:Notes for fanfic:
Progress.
Is this enough? Said it wasn't at the beginning.
I want Shuichi to consciously choose. diff from need and want where hiro tells him to
Notes to myself:
Why did you want to make this fanfic in the first place? I wanted to make a deeper bond for Shuichi and Yuki so that I can finally accept that it should be them together. Not Hiro and Shu. I guess this is just one of those fics that I just wanted to answer my own questions since that's what I usually do.
I think I think too much. *blink, blink*
I want to find a reason why Yuki loves Shuichi. Something even deeper than in my Need and Want fic. But I didn't want the same thing happening. And if it did, I wanted it even more plausible, yet even more heart-wrenching. For how can Yuki live with Shuichi and all that he is if there wasn't something stronger than the boy's genkiness, ne?
I wanted Yuki and shuichi to be together ever since I thought of this fic, btw. I cannot deviate too much from the set pairing. But I'll root for Hiro!!
But just as much, I need Tatsuha to be just as convincing. ^_^ I'm glad I was able to confuse people as well as myself in this.
In other words, now you can see why I had such a hard time to do this. I imagined for about six months to countless possibilities about how to execute everything as well as deliver it with as much an emotional impact as I wanted. I hope I did. I really hope I did. I cried when I made 'When you blink' because I said to myself, 'Blink. Blinking is such a simple thing to do, how about making something from that?'
Also, where have you read about a Tatsuha and Shuichi relationship that seemed plausible? Even when I made this, I was like, "What the hell am I doing? You're making more work for yourself than you should."
But as with all my fanfics, I love them individually. You could tell me what title and I'll still be able to tell you the whole story even if I made it years ago.
I am only able to make them indistinguishable to myself because even if I reuse a feeling, an emotion, or a situation, I want to give a new light or angle to it. And therefore in that alone, I've put a little difference in them, slight as it may be.
Sorry to bother you with my 'end of the series' analysis, but thank you again for reading. As I said to one reader, "I've been writing original stories since 1996 and fanfics since 1998." What I didn't say was that I didn't even understand my own style until 2001. And stories didn't click well for me and fanfics until 'Unexpectedly', my fourth Ranma fanfic in 1999.
Thank you for reading!
They looked at each other. Then, they looked at Yuki in the doorway who was scratching his head with a slight blush. And he looked every other way except theirs.
"Yu~ki needs me," I was singing in my head. "Yuukiii~ needs me..."
"We can hear you," Sakano, K, and the rest said.
"Ehehehe." I laughed.
(part 2 continued)
"Hiro smiled at me and hit my head with the usual, "Don't worry me like that, you idiot."
I turned once again into a chibi and jumped into his arms, "Ah, you know you love me."
Hiro cleared his throat as he sweated. "Just sing your songs."
He never could resist me. No, no. I know he just can't. * chu *
Hiro then started to play around with his guitar.
I ran to Yuki and kissed him on the lips before entering the recording booth while winking, "Just for good luck."
And we started to record, "Infatuation":
[I look at Hiro.]
My tired heart has had it fill of sadness,
and I don't think I can drink any more blood.
And when this day came,
I thought I was going to die...
[Closing my eyes, I think of Ryuichi.]
Don't know why
Taking all the pain and swallowing.
Don't know why
I love you so much it hurts!
This isn't Infatuation.
Just say that you need me.
You think it's too much
then tell me and I'll stop,
That is Infatuation.
Tell me that you want me
And I won't ask for anything else.
I promise.
[I think of Tatsuha...]
There are too many lovers,
You can say 'I love you' to anybody,
but when I said it to you,
I knew it was different.
Thought it was the same my way.
Don't know what
love is really, but I'm understanding.
Don't know how
to show it without being too passionate.
Infatuation
is when your heart doesn't stop beating
so fast that you think you won't survive.
Want to be with you always, no that's not it.
Infatuation
isn't the kind of idea I want,
that is just a feeling.
I want the real thing.
[Looking directly at Yuki...]
(whisper) You think I ask too much
Then just push me away...
I don't want just your heart
I don't want just your mind,
I don't want just your soul.
I want everything.
[Closing my eyes, I sing as if pouring my heart out...]
This isn't Infatuation.
Just say that you need me.
You think it's too much
then tell me and I'll stop,
That is Infatuation.
Tell me that you want me
And I won't ask for anything else.
I promise.
Infatuation (it's just an intense concept)
is when your heart doesn't stop (an illusion in the least)
beating so fast that you think you'd die, (that's if I lose you)
Infatuation (It's just a frame of mind)
isn't the kind of love I want, (it's just fake)
that is just a feeling. (I don't want a part.)
I want the real thing. (I want all of you.)
Then, I added in a low and seductive whisper in the end, "Show me."
Nodding my head with my eyes closed as if to cry, I smiled confidently to myself.
"This is my own happiness," I whispered to myself.
Opening my eyes, I felt the intensity of it all. My body feels tired, but it can still go on. The sweat drips down my face. My heart is pounding inside of chest...
I now understand Ryuichi-san...this feeling you spoke of...
--
Author's notes:Notes for fanfic:
Progress.
Is this enough? Said it wasn't at the beginning.
I want Shuichi to consciously choose. diff from need and want where hiro tells him to
Notes to myself:
Why did you want to make this fanfic in the first place? I wanted to make a deeper bond for Shuichi and Yuki so that I can finally accept that it should be them together. Not Hiro and Shu. I guess this is just one of those fics that I just wanted to answer my own questions since that's what I usually do.
I think I think too much. *blink, blink*
I want to find a reason why Yuki loves Shuichi. Something even deeper than in my Need and Want fic. But I didn't want the same thing happening. And if it did, I wanted it even more plausible, yet even more heart-wrenching. For how can Yuki live with Shuichi and all that he is if there wasn't something stronger than the boy's genkiness, ne?
I wanted Yuki and shuichi to be together ever since I thought of this fic, btw. I cannot deviate too much from the set pairing. But I'll root for Hiro!!
But just as much, I need Tatsuha to be just as convincing. ^_^ I'm glad I was able to confuse people as well as myself in this.
In other words, now you can see why I had such a hard time to do this. I imagined for about six months to countless possibilities about how to execute everything as well as deliver it with as much an emotional impact as I wanted. I hope I did. I really hope I did. I cried when I made 'When you blink' because I said to myself, 'Blink. Blinking is such a simple thing to do, how about making something from that?'
Also, where have you read about a Tatsuha and Shuichi relationship that seemed plausible? Even when I made this, I was like, "What the hell am I doing? You're making more work for yourself than you should."
But as with all my fanfics, I love them individually. You could tell me what title and I'll still be able to tell you the whole story even if I made it years ago.
I am only able to make them indistinguishable to myself because even if I reuse a feeling, an emotion, or a situation, I want to give a new light or angle to it. And therefore in that alone, I've put a little difference in them, slight as it may be.
Sorry to bother you with my 'end of the series' analysis, but thank you again for reading. As I said to one reader, "I've been writing original stories since 1996 and fanfics since 1998." What I didn't say was that I didn't even understand my own style until 2001. And stories didn't click well for me and fanfics until 'Unexpectedly', my fourth Ranma fanfic in 1999.
Thank you for reading!