Vote on my poll or Sathre will kick your butt.
Song: White Flag By: Dido
It's one of my favorite songs, please don't insult it in my reviews...
I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
Or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?
Ahsoka watched him work, the silence in the room heavy, it felt as if a damp wool blanket had been hung on her shoulders. He had denied her, saying she was a jedi, he was a clone, that is would never be. He had been polite and professional, two things that had made her fall in love with him in the first place. She had tried to keep her feelings under control, to keep them from bubbling to the surface, into words, but she had failed. And he had stared at her, with surprise on his face, then he collected himself once again. She remembered the confession and cringed,
"Rex?"
"Yes, Commander Ahsoka?"
"Rex, lately I've been fe- you know what, I love you, Rexter."
"..." He sighed, and shook his head slightly, "Commander Ahsoka, think this thro-"
"I have Rexter! I've kept this confession quiet for weeks upon weeks now! I know how I feel about you!"
"Commander Ahsoka, I appreciate the...er...confession, but I must decline them."
"D-decline?"
"Yes, you are a padawan, and I'm just a clone, we can never be, I'm...I'm sorry. You're only a teenager, you are just go-"
"I understand." Ahsoka said numbly, walking out of the room in a daze.
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder I will go down with this ship
Or return to where we were
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
Ahsoka sighed, he had just saved her...for the fourth time that battle, she couldn't help but be distracted. Everytime she saw him, the painful memory would come back, she never regretted telling him though, she was just depressed that he didn't feel the same, she had thought, assumed that he did.
"That's what I get for thinking." She mumbled.
"What, Commander?" Rex asked, pulling her from her musing.
"Nothing, sorry, I was just..." She glanced at his helmeted face, "distracted."
"Oh. Come on then, we got a battle to win." His hand lingered on her arm, at one time she had taken this as a sign that he had liked her, but not anymore, it just hurt.
She shrugged it off and ran off, slicing through droids once again.
Rex sighed, as he watched, his head hung lower than usual.
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
Ahsoka made sure to work on keeping a straight face around him, to show him that she wasn't upset with his decision, so he wouldn't think she was weak, because she wasn't, she was just...shaken up. She would get past this, "I can use this as a way to harden my heart, all jedi must do this at some point in their career. This will be a perfect time to learn." She muttered.
~!~
Ahsoka stood in the remains of the battle that had just passed, one foot on a robot forearm, the other, on a leg that had been sliced off by herself. She wanted to feel remorse for those clones who had lost their lives, but Anakin never did, and he was a jedi knight, he knew how to harden his heart, and she would learn the same. It hurt at first, her eyes turned into blue slits, arms crossed as she surveyed the land.
She was learning one thing though, she couldn't stop loving the clone captain. No matter how much she tried to pretend, or how much she yelled at herself for holding feelings for him, it was still there. Everytime he walked by she felt as if she had died a little inside.
I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense
Rex hadn't talked to her as much as he had before, and that was fine with her, she didn't want to have to pretend anymore. She didn't want to put on her brave front, and the plan of 'hardening her heart' just wasn't possible. She just wasn't that type of being.
She spent most of her free time finding unused areas of the Resolute and just hanging out there. Sighing to herself occasionally, and daydreaming about what life would be like if she had never become a padawan learner.
"It was worth it...I got to meet him." She mumbled to herself, tightening the already vice-like grip she had around her knees.
"Ahsoka?" Rexs' voice came from behind her, she didn't turn, didn't react. The impulse to cry, was strong, but she prevented herself from doing so. "Ahsoka? You alright, kid?" The worry, easily heard in his voice, was another reason she had fell in love with him. He could be so stern and emotionless when it was called for, especially in time of battle, and yet he could be so kind and gentle and caring any other time.
"Yes?" She asked, using her arms to fully prop up her head.
"General Skywalker wants to see you on the bridge."
"Okay. Thanks for telling me, Captain."
"Anytime, kid." The awkward energy in the air made Ahsoka feel like she was suffocating, but she stood up slowly, stretched, and sauntered past Rex, not even glancing his way. After she left he sighed, shaking his head.
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
Ahsoka was surprised that she would be going to battle as a 'temporary' padawan for Obi-Wan Kenobi. He needed help, but Anakin was needed in a battle himself, though intelligence told him it wouldn't take all of Anakins' forces to win back the planet, Anakin wouldn't give anything up, until Obi-Wan compromised by asking for his padawan only.
He had agreed, and now Ahsoka was being shipped off to a planet in the mid rim that she had never learned the name of.
She had written a letter to Rex, and placed it in his helmet while he had been sleeping. She remembered how she had paused at the doorway on her way out to look at him, and smile slightly at his sleeping form, he looked peaceful in sleep. As if there was no war, as if there was nothing in the world to worry about, she left, grabbing the bag she had left in the hallway and made her way to the cargo bay.
~!~
Rex woke up three hours later and picked up his helmet, something white fell out of it, and drifted to the floor lazily. He stared at it for a few moments, blinking as he woke up and then picked it up; he unfolded it and read it, sighing and shaking his head at what she had written. It was a sort of love letter, saying that she wanted to tell him these things in case she died with Kenobi.
"Wait." He paused, "She's with Kenobi?" He muttered, he hadn't been notified of this, and why hadn't he? He was the captain after all, and should be on top of things... "What is this place coming to?"
And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on...
~!~5 weeks later~!~
It was a pleasant surprise to see the young togruta padawan smiling from the gunship. The doors had opened and she had stood there, smiling slightly to herself, it was good to be home, if that's what you could call it. She waved to the clones of the 501st, and they returned the gesture, a little bit curious as to why she was so happy. She passed by Rex, giving him a simple wave while smiling at someone else, he paused mid-step; it was a true genuine smile, not the forced ones she used to give him.
"Maybe she's over me..." Rex thought aloud before returning to his trek to the cafeteria, though he spared one last glance toward the way Ahsoka had gone.
~!~
Ahsoka had talked to Cody during her mission with Obi-Wan, she knew of his romance with Barriss. Cody had been very kind to her, answering her questions with endless patience and an apology when he heard that Rex had denied her. His answer had been simple when she had asked how she could interact with Rex without feeling heartbroken, "Don't harden your heart," He began, "let the emotions come, and go, let you feel the happiness that you do when you're with him, let the sadness come also. But just remember that it isn't you that shouldn't feel sad, it's him for not seeing you as you truly are."
She had taken his advice and it was working, she felt happy to see Rex, but she felt sad too, but she dealt with it, taking it in stride as she continued learning under Anakin.
Rex smiled, she had finally gotten over him, and now things were finally not awkward between them. But then, Rex realized something, as he watched her pass by again...
He had fallen for her.
But she was done with him and was probably taking the higher road of the jedi, and they would never be together.
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
Rex seemed moodier lately, at least to Ahsoka, she was confused when he yelled at her over dropping her tray in the cafeteria by accident. She had stared at him for a few minutes as he picked her tray off of the ground and placed it to where it could get clean. The captain excused himself and fled the room, Ahsoka, and the other clones that had been eating, but had paused at his outburst, watched him do so. She followed him, ending up in the doorway of his room.
"What's wrong, Rex?"
"Nothing." He muttered.
"Rex...tell me."
"Nothing, is wrong Commander Ahsoka." He was facing away from her, fists clenched and he was tense, his hostile tone made her slightly scared of him, and she had never been scared of a clone before. Not even Slick had scared her.
"Fine, but I thought you trusted me enough to tell me what's on your mind."
"Just this." He came to stand in front of her, taking her by the shoulders as he pulled her to him...
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
.
.
.
and he kissed her...