Crossing the Line Part 2

I hope you guys enjoyed part 1! Here is part 2!

Cal pulled up in the back of Gillian's house and turned the car lights off. His heart was beating fast. He hadn't felt this terrified since the night that Claire was killed. He killed the lights and grabbed a baseball bat out of the backseat of the car. He closed the car door gently behind him and walked up slowly to the back door of her house. He put his ear to the door and when heard nothing, he reached underneath the doormat and grabbed the spare key. He opened the door slowly and walked in.

He observed slowly as he walked through with the bat up. Nothing appeared to be stolen and all of the larger pieces of furniture were still standing. The smaller pieces were the ones that were turned over. Frowning in confusion, he stopped. Suddenly he heard a noise. Gillian's sobs.

"Gillian!" He called out. The sobs stopped. "Cal!" He heard her voice, confused.

"Gil! Where are you?" He called back, urgently.

"In the living room!"

He ran into the room and saw her sitting in the middle of the floor. He dropped the bat and ran over to her and kneeled in front of her. "Darlin' what happened? Were you robbed?"

"No. No," Gillian said. "It's…Claire's necklace. I've lost it! I can't find it anywhere!"

Cal sighed deeply in relief and pulled her to him. "Gillian…I..Megan called and I thought something happened I…" He stopped and held her to him tightly almost for his reassurance more than hers.

She pulled away and looked up at him. "Why did Megan call you?"

"I told her…after you split up with Alec I had her watch you."

Gillian made a face. "Like spying on me?"

"No! No…just to check and make sure you were ok. If something ever happened I told her to call me."

Gillian sat back and put her head in her hands. "I left the office for lunch and then I came back here and then I went back to the office and then when I got back home…I couldn't find it. Cal, its lost. The only thing I have of her is gone," she took a deep shuddering breath and more tears fell from her eyes. "What am I going to do?" She looked up at him, sadly.

"Well did you search the entire office?" He suggested.

She nodded. "Yeah, the office…here…" She stood up. "I've got to find it Cal. I've got to find it. I'm going to forget her." She stood up.

Cal stood up and grabbed her arm. "Gil. Gil look at me." He turned her around to face him. "Whatever happened, you are not going to forget her ok?"

"Yes I will!" She wrenched herself free from his grasp and turned around to grab her jacket. "I'm going back out to look for it."

"It's ten o clock at night, love. You should wait."

"No, no." Gillian shook her head. Cal jumped up and blocked her doorway. "I'm not letting you go back out there. You're too upset. You just turned your house upside down."

"Get out of my way, Cal!" she said.

He crossed his arms. She tried walking around him and he shifted his weight. "Cal let me go!" She yelled and started to cry again. "LET ME BY!"

She raised her arms up to shove him but he was prepared. He grabbed her and held her in a bear hug. "LET ME GO!" She yelled. She tried pushing him, kicking him, but he was ready. He held on.

She was sobbing at this point. "Cal!" She gave up then and just weeped, hopelessly, into his chest.

"I'm sorry love. I'm so sorry." He held her while she cried. "Ssshhhhh. It's ok. It's ok, love. It's ok." He let her cry, for what felt like three hours before her tears started to subside. She had stopped crying but remained in his arms, her head in the crook of his neck.

"Your shirt is soaking wet" she said after a couple minutes of silence.

"What's a little water" he shrugged and she laughed a little bit and stepped back.

"You want some water?" He asked her and she nodded. He ran his finger gently across her cheek and walked over to the cabinet, grabbing a glass.

"I'm…sorry Cal." She said.

"For what?" He asked her, as he turned on the faucet and filled the glass with water.

"For the way I acted today," she hung her head as he came back over and handed her the water. "I was…really nasty." She looked up at him, pleading for forgiveness.

"It's alright," Cal gently rubbed her shoulder. "I should have asked you. If you don't like Wallowski…I should put you first. You are my partner." He smiled a little bit.

She took a sip of water.

"You know…I actually thought that something happened to you," he said.

She looked into his eyes. "I'm ok."

"Well I was frantic. I came in here with a baseball bat looking for bloody burglars."

Gillian smiled. "You were gonna fight them off for me?" She had assumed her regular flirty attitude.

Cal only nodded. Gillian set her glass down. "Cal…what am I going to do? Claire's death….I don't think I'm coping well."

"Maybe you should join a group," he suggested.

"Ha. The psychologist getting mental help" she said sarcastically.

"Look, Gillian. That girl was like a daughter to you. You know…I was almost worried that you weren't grieving enough. I haven't seen you upset about it in weeks."

"That's because I had her with me," Gillian's hand reached up to find the necklace on her neck that wasn't there. Her face filled with pain again and she looked back down at her bare neck. If she hadn't looked down, she would have seen Cal's own pained expression as his heart broke for her. Her sorrow.

"We'll look for it again tomorrow at the office alright?" Cal reassured her. She nodded again. "We will find it, Gillian. We'll find it."

Gillian looked back up at Cal and all of a sudden threw her arms around his neck. Cal held her tight. "You're the best friend I've ever had" she choked out.

Cal merely closed his eyes, briefly, and breathed in the scent of her hair so that his own emotion wouldn't take over him. She thought of him as a friend. Of course.

Gillian let go and stood back. "I'll uhh…be ok. You can go home now. Emily is probably wondering where you are."

"You sure?" Cal asked her.

"Yeah," she said.

Cal turned around to go. But something stopped him. He turned back around with his hand on the doorknob and looked over at Gillian. She had that face again. The one that he couldn't read…what was it?

Cal stopped. "Would you feel better if I stayed with you until you fall asleep?"

Gillian took a deep breath and bit her lip. A tear dropped from her eye. "Yeah."

"Ok then darling." He put his arm around her and walked with her up the stairs.

***LTM***

Cal walked in the doorway and shut it slowly, quietly behind him.

"Dad? Is that you?" Emily called. He sighed and slumped against the door. "Yup!"

Emily came down the steps. "Its 12:30's Dad. No call. Where were you?" She put her hands on her hips.

"Stop looking like your mother," he said and dropped his coat and wallet on the kitchen island.

"Well?" He just looked up at her and went to open the fridge.

"You were at her house weren't you?" Emily sat down at the island. Cal shut the fridge door. "Yes, I was. She was…having a rough time."

"Ria told me that you guys got into a huge fight today," Emily said.

"Oh she did, did she? Well I'm gonna tell her…"

"Dad, you're going to deflect. Stop it. Did anything happen when you were over there?"

"No! No…Em…" Cal stopped and put his palms down on the surface of the table. He didn't know how to continue.

"Dad why are you torturing yourself?" Emily asked. She got up and walked over to him. "You need to tell her."

"Em this is more complicated than that."

No, it's not. And you know it. All you have to do is say it. It's not as complicated as you are making it. What's more painful? Telling her? Or never knowing?" He looked up at his daughter, fully accepting how wise she was for the first time.

"Good night Dad." She gave him a kiss on the cheek and walked back up the stairs.

***LTM***

Cal had been avoiding her office all day. He gave her the entire morning to search the office for the necklace and he did some searching on his own but neither found anything. The rest of the afternoon he tiptoed around. Ria and Eli, noticing the strange tension, said nothing and merely tried to avoid the pair of them. When it got to be dinnertime Cal couldn't ignore her anymore. He walked into her office. She was sitting at her desk, writing.

"Whatcha doing?" He asked her, leaning against the doorframe.

"Just some stuff for the case." She closed the file and looked back up at him. There were dark circles under her eyes and she looked like she had been crying more.

"Gil…" He walked towards her, concerned.

"I still can't find the necklace," she said sadly and walked over to him. "I feel like a failure."

"Hey." He lifted her chin with his hand. "I don't ever want to hear you say that. You were the best thing that girl ever had. Without you…"

"She would still be alive." Gillian walked over and sat down on the couch.

"Guilt is not becoming on you" he said as he sat down next to her. She said nothing. They sat in silence for a few moments. "Cal…" she started.

Cal interrupted her. "Gillian…I think we need to talk."

She looked confused. "About what?"

Cal sighed. "The line. We need to talk about the line."

Gillian frowned and then recognition crossed her face. Suddenly, she felt her heart start beating faster and her breath got more shallow.

"I'm afraid I've….crossed the line darling," he looked down at his hands. He didn't even want to look at her. He was too afraid to.

"As in…you…" Gillian spluttered. Cal looked up at her and she seemed to be in shock.

"I know this is a bad time to tell you. But everytime is a bad time to tell your best friend that you…that you…I need to be honest with you." He finished.

Gillian could feel it coming again. The tears. She closed her eyes in an attempt to stop them. "How…how long?" She asked him quietly.

There was a long pause. "I don't know," he responded. "I don't…know."

Gillian took a deep breath. "I need to…I need to…I'm sorry" she stood up suddenly grabbed her purse and walked out of the room.

She passed Eli in the hallway who, seeing her distressed, looked into her office and noticed Cal sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. He backed up slowly and retreated to the lab. He pulled his phone out.

To: Emily Lightman

Sent: Fri, March 25th, 5:05pm

I think your Dad finally spilled the beans Em…it doesn't look good.

CB: 443-970-2398

***LTM***

Gillian barely made it out of the office before she had dissolved into tears. She couldn't see three feet in front of her and fumbled to get her keys out of her purse as she walked over to her car. She put the key into the door, unlocked it, and got into her car. She closed it behind her and started sobbing, resting her head on her hands on the wheel.

"Dr. Foster? Why are you crying?" Gillian put her head up and turned to see Claire sitting in the passenger seat of her car.

"Claire?" She questioned. She reached over and put her hand on the girls shoulder. "What are you doing here?"

"I came here to help you" the girl said, gently.

"Well you don't want to help me, I let you die." Gillian turned away.

"Look at me," she reached over and put her hand on Gillian's face. "No you didn't. The last thing I saw before I died was you, Gillian. You were trying so hard to save me..you were so afraid for me…I thought there was no one in the world that cared for me. I was wrong. You did." Gillian looked at the girl, miserably.

"You were the only true friend I ever had. If it hadn't been for you…I wouldn't have made it past fourteen years old. You saved me. You have to stop beating yourself up. I guess it was just…meant to be."

"I lost your necklace, Claire. I lost it." Gillian choked out.

"It's ok! You still have your memories of me. In here." She put a finger on Gillian's chest. "As long as you still care, I will always be there."

Gillian smiled and sniffled. "I must be going crazy or something. What are you a…a ghost? An apparition?"

"No, actually. I'm a projection of your subconscious." Claire crossed her arms. "Your conscious mind is feeling a little bit…overwhelmed right now. I'm here to help you sort things out."

"Gee, thanks." Gillian laughed a little bit. "So I'm not going crazy?"

"Nahh" Claire smiled. "So now onto the next order of business…Cal."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh…bad idea" Claire stated. "The man just admitted he was in love with you. You've got some things to figure out."

"He didn't actually say it, Claire. He…"

"He might as well have," Claire answered. "Now the question is…why did you run?"

"I…I didn't know what to say. I don't know how I feel!" Gillian exclaimed. "Why did he tell me this now?"

"Maybe he didn't know what else to say or do." Claire said. "I think he's felt this way for a long time, Gillian."

"If you're my subconscious then how do you know all of this?"

"Don't ask me!" You're the psychologist." Claire said matter o factly. "Don't you deal with this kind of stuff all the time?"

"Not when it's me…" Gillian responded quietly. "I feel like I've been going to pieces lately. I screamed at Wallowski yesterday you know."

"Oh I know," Claire nodded. "You hate her. Why do you hate her?"

"Because she nearly destroyed the Lightman Group!"

"You keep saying that…" Claire said. "But I think it's more than that Gillian. It's more than that…isn't it?"

Gillian's lip quivered again as she looked over at the girl. "The way he looks at her…." She started and took another deep breath. She looked down into her lap.

"Aahhh. So you ARE jealous. You don't like it when he spends time with her. You want him to look at you that way."

Gillian looked back over at Claire. "Is that terrible?"

"No! No." Claire put her hand over Gillian's. "But he does…he DOES look at you that way."

"He does?" Gillian looked up at her, hopefully.

"Yeah! You just…don't notice it all the time."

"Do you think he…do you think he loved me when I was with Burns?"

Claire sat back. "Yeah. Yeah I think he did."

Gillian nodded and looked out the window. "And he was…he tried so hard to be nice to him. He saved his life. And when he was dating Wallowski I wasn't very nice, was I?"

"Yeah you could have been better." Claire laughed a little bit.

"Claire…all I know is that it feels right to be with him. It feels…right." She looked over at the girl. "Is that weird?"

"No." Claire shook her head. "I think you do love him, Gill. But you're afraid to face it. You don't want it to fail like it did with Alec. I think you are worried about risking it because…you love him too much."

Gil wrung her hands in her lap. "Why couldn't you have come and explained this to me earlier?"

"Because you weren't ready. The only times you have ever thought about your feelings for Cal…when were they?"

"When….when the copycat guy came after me. And then when Eric Matheson came and…and almost killed Cal. When those kids came after me and Ava. When Burns and I broke it off. When you died." Gillian stopped and looked over at Cal. "Those were the times when…"

"his true feelings came through, yeah. What did you feel during that time, Gil? When he was with you?"

"I felt loved. Protected." She repeated to herself.

"Right. I think you're starting to pick up on it on your own now."

"No don't go away Claire!" Gillian looked over at the girl desperately. "I need you."

"You don't need me, Gill." The girl reached over and hugged her.

"Cuz I've got Cal…." She whispered in the girl's ear.

Claire smiled brightly. "I always knew you were the smartest woman I know."

Gillian turned back to the ignition and started the car. She looked back over at the passenger seat again. It was empty. But Gillian didn't feel empty anymore.

***LTM***

"It's probably time that you got to bed, Em" Cal said. They were snuggling on the couch in front of the tv.

"I'm not tired" she reiterated. "It's only 11:30."

"It's a school night."

"I'm not leaving you alone, Dad." Cal had no response to that.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and Cal frowned. "What the…" he got up slowly and peeked through the keyhole. Shocked, he undid the locks and opened the door. Gillian was standing on the stoop.

"Hi." She said, shyly.

"Hey."

"I was just…uhhh…taking a drive in the neighborhood. Thought I'd stop by."

"Come in." Cal opened the door and she walked in. Emily poked her head over the couch and then seeing who it was, her face brightened and she shot up and walked over.

"Hi Em" Gillian smiled an exhausted smile.

"Emily was just going to bed," Cal shot his daughter a look.

"I was just going to bed" she repeated. "Good night." She gave her Dad a hug and a kiss and then walked over to Gillian. She gave her a hug. "You were my friend in the story" she whispered in her ear.

Gillian pulled out of the hug and looked down at the girls face and then smiled. Emily, understanding, beamed in return and went up the steps to her room.

"Can I get you anything?" Cal asked.

Gillian shook her head. She walked over to the kitchen island and stood there. "I just came over to apologize for my behavior. For Wallowski, for the necklace, for walking out on you in the office like that….I'm sorry."

"You don't need to keep apologizing" Cal reiterated.

"Yeah, I do." Gillian nodded and looked up. "I…behaved badly. And I did some thinking and would like to explain why."

Cal moved closer and rested his head on his hands, with his elbows on the island, waiting.

"I need to be honest with you, Cal. I…" She stopped and started shifting her weight between her feet. "I think I've crossed the line too." She snuck a glance at him. All she could register on his face was relief. "After Alec and then Burnes…I didn't want to…I'm still afraid because I don't want any more failures." She took a deep breath. "I don't know if I could live with myself if I hurt you. You're the one person who has always been there for me. I know it's stupid but that one time when Eric Matheson had that gun to your head…I kept thinking over and over…what if I never had the chance to say I was sorry? Would you think I hated you going to your grave?"

"I've never hated you a day in my life" he said quietly, looking down.

"I know" she said gently. She walked around the island to face him. "I also realized that…I've been so emotional lately because I've been holding my real feelings inside. Claire helped me realize that."

Cal looked up. "Claire did?"

Gillian nodded. "I wasn't to blame for her death. And I can't blame myself. And I can't blame you for your feelings or I for mine. We have to accept them." She reached up and gently stroked his cheek before cupping it in her hand. He reached his hand up and put it on top of hers.

"You know what made me realize what I felt?" Cal said. "When Emily asked me. We were sitting on the couch and she asked if I loved you. Straight out. And then she asked me what I was waiting for and I had no answer. That's when I knew…."

"Well what WERE you waiting for?" Gillian asked seriously

"Confirmation." Cal whispered.

Gillian leaned forward and kissed him gently, briefly, on the lips and then put her arms around his neck. He buried his face in her shoulder and they stood there for a few minutes. They slowly broke apart and Cal rested his forehead on hers.

"You know what I think?" Gillian traced her finger along his jawline.

"What?" He whispered.

"I think that there is someone over at the police station I owe an apology to," she said.

Cal smiled. "I guess you do."

She pulled back and put her hands on her hips, playfully. "But if we are going to be an item Dr. Lightman I can't have you gallivanting off with some detective."

"Madame, I wouldn't hear of it!"

She giggled, really giggled, for the first time in two weeks and Cal grinned in return.

"I guess I better get home," she said. She walked over to the door and Cal followed her. "Hey." She stopped and turned back to him. "You're still my best friend" he affirmed.

"Best friends forever." She smiled gently, lovingly. "Goodnight Cal."

"Goodnight love."

Well what did you all think? Please leave lots and lots of reviews!