Am I really this dense?
I have known Misty for almost ten years now, and yet this is only now dawning on me. Sure, I've doubted my own feelings in the past, but only because I was in fact dense, or never believed that she would return them.
But now, it's as if she's already confessed to me.
I feel so blind.
Before me I hold a letter. We write as often as we can when I don't get the chance to visit, though the letters are sporadic due to my constant state of moving around. And her letters are usually all the same: catching up, good wishes on my journey, you know. Buddy talk. But this one… it's different.
I've read it over a hundred times, just to make sure I'm reading the right message. It all seems to start out as the rest, but there are key words that I picked out that give the letter a different tone… One that seems more than friendly, even sad and hopeless. It doesn't sound cheery like the others.
With my newfound enlightenment, everything else seemed to fall into place afterwards. Looking back over memories from years ago, I finally realize that everything she did and said was because of her feelings.
And through all the years, I never knew. I can't imagine how painful it must have been—must still be—for her, with me not able to see past my Pokémon dreams for a moment.
Once again, I look down from the letter to Pikachu, perched quietly next to me on a bench near the post office in Veilstone City. He looks up at me with eyes full of irritation.
"What's that look for?" I ask him quizzically, a little afraid of the answer.
"Pi pika pika chu…" I roll my eyes.
"Of course you've known all along…" I sigh, expecting this. At this point, I'm sure I was the only one who never knew. And I'm sure a few have tried to clue me in at one time or another.
And now that I know what's been going on for so long, it's only obvious what I'm supposed to do now.
"I know we were making our way back to Pallet before we head to Unova, buddy, but I think those plans are going to be put on hold for a while…"
"Chu?"
"Don't be so surprised, Pikachu. I don't think I could go on with my Pokémon journey if I didn't make things right first!" I explain, but I know he already understands. To comply, he leaps onto my shoulder as I grab my bag and head towards the PokéCenter.
I need to get Pidgeot.
It's a few days' journey from Veilstone to Cerulean, and when we finally land at the local PokéCenter, my stomach is in knots. Not only am I going on intuition about the meaning of her letter, but I've also arrived without a plan. That, and it's been a long, long time since I've seen Misty in person.
This is all right for disaster, and I have no idea what to do about it.
First instinct upon touchdown: take everyone to get checked up. I'm greeted by a familiar smiling face as Nurse Joy takes my Pokémon behind the counter for a quick heal. I stand behind the counter a nervous wreck, annoyingly drumming my fingers as I wait. And when Joy comes back with my team, an idea hits me.
"Nurse Joy, can I ask you for some… girl advice?" I ask, sheepishly, after thanking her.
"Why of course! I don't get many questions outside of the health of Pokémon! What can I help you with, dear?" I fiddle with my thumbs as I search for the correct things to ask.
"Well, there's this girl I've known for a long time, and she's my best friend… I've only recently found out that she's had feelings for me for years, and that I feel the same way. But she hasn't actually confessed them to me directly, and I'm not sure how to let her know that I know…" My chest is pounding as I wait for Joy to think of something to tell me.
"Just be honest and sincere. Don't be too elaborate, but don't be too cliché either. Try and keep it straight-forward and not beat around the bush; if she's had feelings for this long, she probably won't appreciate such suspense," she offers, one by one. It's all very useful, but I'm afraid it's going to be too general for me to form a plan…
"Thanks a lot, Joy! I'll do my best!" I say anyway as I gather my things and head out. I hear her wish me luck as the doors close.
I've spent a good few hours wandering around the city, trying how to approach Misty. We try to write as much as possible, but I certainly didn't try to call her as often as I could have. And for that, I would certainly get a beating. I'm running out of time, and not coming up with anything…
"Pika pi!" Pikachu scolds from my shoulder, and begins to rummage around in my bag.
"You want me to do what?" I inquire, as the yellow rodent pokes his head out of my bag with the letter in his maw. As I take the letter, I begin to catch on.
It's nearly mail time today, and I bet Misty would be pretty surprised to see a quick response in her mailbox…! But I have to act fast.
"What should I do from there, Pikachu? What should it say?" My heart begins to race as it all falls into place. "Oh! I could ask her to meet me somewhere this evening! That should catch her off guard!"
With Pikachu's consent to the idea, I pull out paper and an envelope from my bag. The note is quick, and I write the return address as if I were still in Sinnoh. Once I finish, I high tail it to the Cerulean gym. Making sure to keep to the bushes, I watch the mailman finish delivering their mail, and quickly run up behind him to slip mine in.
And then I make a run for it back to the PokéCenter.
Hours have gone by, and the approaching time is doing anything but calm my nerves. I can't believe I'm more nervous to face my best friend than I ever was for any battle. All I can do now is breathe and watch the clock. It strikes 5pm, and I sigh shakily.
"Okay buddy, it's time. Will you be okay here by yourself?" I ask my loyal companion, and he gives me a tiny thumbs-up.
"Pika chu!" he cheers, and I stand to leave.
"See you in a bit."
I had told Misty in the letter simply that I received hers, and that I arranged a surprise for her on Route 25 at sunset. That gave me less than an hour to get out there, and hopefully we don't cross paths on the way… I know how she likes to be on time.
I have less than an hour to compose what to say and fight my nerves.
Hopefully there aren't any rowdy trainers on the way.
I check my PokéGear's clock every few seconds and pick up my pace as it ticks just past six. Damnit, I should have remembered how long it takes to cross the Nugget Bridge on foot, and when the hell did the start of Route 25 get so overgrown? My clock reads 6:08, and as soon as I see the sign that reads "Lovers Point, .5mi", I pick up into a full sprint.
Finally, I come to the clearing near the Point, and stop dead in my tracks. I spot a silhouette in the distance, and my heart picks up.
She's already here.
My clock tells me I'm almost fifteen minutes late. And she's here, probably early, expecting something from me. I can't imagine the disappointment she must be feeling.
I stand there and watch her for a moment, her back towards me as she stares off at the ocean. The sunset is behind us, but I can still make out some of her features. Her shoulders seem slumped, which can only confirm her disappointment, and she sighs. She must be giving up.
And then she turns to leave, and we both freeze in place when she sees me.
She appears too shocked to speak, and so I slowly make my way up the steps to the ledge she is on.
"Hi, Misty," I greet her softly. The pace of my heart is beginning to hurt my chest, and I'm afraid I won't be able to form words properly. When I'm finally closer to her, I can see the disbelief in her eyes.
And before I can form any more words, I notice her in whole. She looks so different than when we last saw each other, so much more mature. Her hair is different, framing her face in such a flattering way. Her body… She's always been lean and carried herself well, but now she's so much more developed. Even in the simple sweater zipped up over a shirt I can't really see, you can make out her curves. And with the tiny shorts she so famously sports, her legs look longer than ever.
She is beautiful, and I only have a moment to take it all in.
"Ash…?" she finally asks in disbelief. I'm close enough for easy recognition, so I assume she is still shocked to see me here at all.
"Yeah. Surprise," I say when I'm several feet in front of her.
It doesn't take her long after that to close the gap between us with a few quick steps. She throws her arms around my neck which, I'm proud to say, she needs to stand on her toes a little to do it right. I take no time at all to wrap my arms around her, and I know neither of us wants to let go. I get a quick whiff of her hair, and it smells so perfect. We keep our embrace for a few moments longer, before she steps back to look at me.
And now I can see her face clearly, namely her eyes. Those bright blue eyes which I never noticed until now have the most amazing sparkle to them. They're so beautiful, with so much compassion in them.
How did I look past all of these things about her back then? They seem so obvious now…
"What… what are you doing here?" she asks me, disbelief still on her face, but she sounds so happy.
"I needed to see you," I offer, unsure of what else to tell her. I'm puzzled though, because now she looks uneasy.
"Why now? And without a bigger heads up? You usually only come home for special occasions…"
"Well, I think this might be a special occasion, but it was very last minute," I explain. "I, uh… I got your last letter."
"So? Why is that important?" she asks with a raised eyebrow. "You never rushed out to see me after you got any of my other letters."
And now I'm stumped. What do I tell her? I don't want to come right out and tell her, because what if she doesn't have those feelings anymore? But I don't want to stall, either…
"It just seemed different than the others, and I think I was able to read into it correctly…" I begin, and she looks confused. "And I can't believe how blind I've been all these years…"
Misty gives me a look of suspicion, but there's a slight look of panic on her features as well. This is making me anxious; I don't want to be crossing any boundaries…
"What do you think you know, Ash…?" she asks slowly. I'm nervous to proceed.
"I think… you might have had feelings for me for a long time…"
She looks at me for a moment with a look I can only describe as embarrassment. She quickly turns her back to me and walks towards the railing of the Point, but I catch her expression fall to sadness. Neither of us speak for what seems like minutes, and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do or say now. So, I opt to stand next to her.
"Misty… You do have feelings for me, don't you?"
"Congratulations," she starts, not looking at me. "Your thick skull finally thinned enough to realize the most obvious piece of history we have. So what did you come here for, a pat on the back for figuring out something so simple?"
I certainly don't expect her tone, and I'm taken aback by how hurt she sounds by my discovery. What is she expecting of me?
"No, Mist, nothing like that… I know it took me almost ten years to realize how you feel, but… It took me the same amount of time to realize how I feel, too…" Now she's looking at me.
"What do you mean, 'how you feel, too'?"
"I think I've had feelings for you all along. I just had too much on my plate in the past to really dwell on it." She is still looking at me with accusing eyes, and I'm not sure what to make of her reaction. "Why do you seem so angry? Isn't this what you've wanted?"
Her expression finally softens as she turns around to lean against the railing. Her eyes are anywhere but looking at me, and all I can do is look at her. My heart is pounding still, but it's beginning to feel sick with the thought of rejection.
"Of course… But I don't want you expect me to just dive into your arms like some swooning girl and it'll be happily ever after, because you've broken my heart a lot over the years. And… I'm afraid it might happen again…" She mumbles the last part, but I catch it completely.
"I had no idea I did those things, but how could I possibly do it again? I would never do anything to hurt you, Misty," I try to console her, but I'm afraid there's more scolding on the way.
"Your Pokémon are your world, Ash, and your one focus in life is training them and becoming the Master. How can I expect you to give that up even a little bit for me? I can't compete with that… And now you're here, confessing your new feelings, and if I were to date you my heart would be broken every time you left for your journey."
"But Misty… You could come with me again, like old times—"
"No I can't, I have the gym to look after. It's just not the right time for us, Ash… I love you, and I could never ask you to give up your dream to stay with me…"
My heart is so torn, I feel like crying. Is this really happening? I thought these things don't happen to the good guy…
"Then why would you write that letter…?" I ask her with clear sadness in my voice. She smiles a soft, sympathetic smile at me.
"Honestly, I didn't think you would catch on. I was hoping, with you so close to your goal, that I could slowly work it into your mind about my feelings. That way, when you are crowned the Master, I could confess my love and I wouldn't have to come second. I don't ever want to come second to you, Ash…"
I'm lost for words, because I know she's right. I could never ask her to be with me, knowing that she wouldn't be my priority all the time. And she doesn't deserve that… not after all these years of waiting…
"I understand, Misty…" I can't think of anything else to say. I just can't believe that this is how things turned out. I thought I was doing something good…
But she still has that smile on her face, and she stands close in front of me with her hands clutching my arms. I meet my defeated eyes to hers, and they still seem to sparkle.
"Don't be so sad, Ash, we have a future. I know how determined you are, and you're so close… I'll be yours soon, I know it." The optimism in her voice triggers a reaction in my body that I'm unable to control.
Before I know it, my hands are grabbing her cheeks and bringing her face to meet mine. It's my first kiss, and I'm not sure if it's hers, but I do my best. I try to make our lips fit like a puzzle, and I'm shocked at how natural it feels with hers against mine. She's so soft…
I'm a little startled when I feel her arms wrap around my neck again, because I was certainly expecting for her to yell. But, I take the opportunity to pull her closer to me, deepening the kiss as I try moving our lips together.
Misty is the one to break the kiss, and rests her head on my shoulder. We keep our arms wrapped around each other, just taking each other in.
"This doesn't change anything, you know," she warns. I sigh, breathing in the smell of her hair again.
"I know. I just want to make this feel more like a successful confession rather than a rejection." She pulls away to look at me.
"Of course it is. Ash, I love you. I've always loved you. I'm not rejecting you, I just want to give you more time to finish your dream. You can always consider me yours…" With that, she rests her head back on my shoulder, and I can't help but smile.
"I will. I think I always have, on some level. You're always the one I miss the most…"
She looks up at me again, smiling, and pulls me into another kiss. It's brief, but I cherish every second; I'm sure she's going to cut me off soon. We spend several moments staring at each other.
"How long are you in town?"
"Well, I was planning on staying for as long as necessary, but I think I want to leave in the morning." I'm smiling, but she seems very upset by this answer.
"Wha- Why so soon?" she whines.
"Because I need to get back to my journey. I need to finish as quickly as possible and come back here to you."
Now we are both smiling, and she pulls me into another kiss—which I soon find out will be my last for a while.
/Fin.