I hope you like it. It'll be short. Probably two chapters.

Warnings: Slash, and a few words like 'boobs'.

20 QUESTIONS

"You said it, Moony," said James, grinning. "You're bored. Let's play a game. What game, you may ask? Ooh, let me think... 20 questions!"

Remus sighed. "Fine," he groaned. He knew there was no way of arguing with James and actually winning the argument.

"So, who wants to be asked the questions?" asked Sirius, rubbing his hands together.

"I say Moony," said Peter, grinning and taking a swig of Firewhiskey.

"Oh, no. Please not me," said Remus.

"Please," whined Sirius, with the puppy-dog face that Remus couldn't resist.

"Ok, fine," said Remus, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, but... If you lie, we will know and you'll automatically become hexed," added James, smiling.

"How?" asked Remus.

"Well, I made my own 20 questions game. If you lie, smoke will come out of your ears. Oh, and let me tell you, you don't want that. It's really uncomfortable," he said, shuddering. "Anyway, I made it so that if you lie, you get hexed until you tell the truth. Understand?"

Remus gulped. He wasn't sure he was going to like this.

"Right, let's start!" said Sirius. "We're going to try and guess who you fancy."

"What! B-but what if I don't fancy anyone?" asked Remus, scared.

"Oh, we know you do," said James, winking. "You're always daydreaming about your lucky girl!"

"I don't think this is a good idea..." said Remus, feeling nauseous.

"Oh, c'mon, Moony," said Sirius (with the puppy-dog eyes again).

"Fine!"

"Good," squealed Peter. "Can I ask the first question?"

"Ok," said James.

"Right," said Peter, slowly. "Does she have blonde hair?"

"No."

"Does she have blue eyes?" asked Sirius.

"No."

"Does she have big boobs?" asked James, receiving amused looks from Sirius and Peter.

"No."

"Ah, Moony. Not even big boobs. I gotta teach you, mate," said James. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Is she in Hufflepuff?"

"No."

"Ravenclaw?"

"No."

"Gryffindor?"

"...No."

"Slytherin!"

"No!"

"Teacher?"

"No."

"Muggle?"

"No. Haven't you asked 20 questions already?"

"Only 8 so far, Moons," said Sirius grinning.

"Oh, great," said Remus.

"Ok, so she's not in any of the houses, she's not a teacher or a muggle. Hmm... Oh! Is she a celebrity?"

"No," sighed Remus.

"Is she even real?" asked James.

"Yeah! Oh... I mean, um... No. Uh, reword the question."

"Is she alive?"

"Reword it."

"Is she dead?"

"Just reword it!"

"Look, this only counts as one question," said Sirius.

"Fine..."

"Oh. I know! Is she the wrong word?"

"Oh. Um.. yeah..." said Remus, blushing.

"Right, so is it even real?"

"REWORD THE QUESTION!"

"Ok, I'll try this one. Is he even real?" asked James.

Remus gulped, and took a deep breath. "Yeah."

"Oh Merlin, Moony! You're gay?" asked Sirius incredulously. Remus nodded, keeping his eyes on the floor.

"So, um... Is he in Hufflepuff?"

"No."

"I think I know who it is!" exclaimed Peter. Remus looked up nervously.

"Who do you think it is?"

"Snivellus," said Peter, looking proud. James and Sirius gagged.

"Are you serious?" asked Remus, trying not to laugh.

"No, that'll be me," said Sirius cheerfully.

"Shut up. Why would you think I would like someone like him?" asked Remus, shuddering.

"Dunno. Sorry..." said Peter.

"Ok, so is he in Ravenclaw?"

"No."

"So, he's in Gryffindor?"

"Yes."

"Is he hot?"

"What?" asked Remus, looking James in the eye.

"Is he hot?"

"Well, I think so. But you guys might not," said Remus. "Does that count as a question?"

"Nah," said Sirius. "Does he have blonde hair?"

"No."

"I'm safe!" shouted Peter.

"Like I would fancy you... And anyway, your hair's not even really blonde," said Remus.

"Does he have brown hair?"

"-ish," said Remus, preventing eye contact with any of his friends.

"Ooh... Is he in our year?"

"Yes."

"Does he have brown eyes?"

"No."

"Blue eyes?"

"No."

"Green eyes?"

"NO!"

"Do you talk to him often?"

"Yes. That's 20 questions. Too bad, you didn't guess," said Remus, relieved that it was over.

"Aww, but Moony! We've almost guessed it!" said James. Sirius nodded in agreement.

"Please tell us, Moony," said Sirius (again with the puppy-dog face).

"... Oh fine," said Remus, knowing that he always gave in to that face. "But you'll have to guess."

"Frank?"

"No..."

"Kevin?"

"Nope."

"Lewis?"

"No! Eurgh!"

"Sorry, um... Chris! I bet it's him! He's hot, y'know?" said Sirius.

"...If you say so... and no it's not him," said Remus.

"George?"

"Nope."

"Wormtail?"

"No offence Pete, but no," said Remus. Peter smiled.

"Oh, none taken," he grinned.

"I know who it is!" shouted Sirius.

"Who? Who?" asked James.

"You! You!" said Sirius.

"No! No!" said Remus. "It's not James."

"Oh, I thought I had it," said Sirius grumpily.

"Thank Merlin!" said James. "Oh, I know!"

"Who?" asked Remus.

"It's Sirius," said James, smiling.

Remus's heart stopped. Damn, they guessed. What should he say? He felt like throwing up.

"I think I need to go to the library," said Remus, voice shaking. "I think I forgot something."

"You didn't tell me if I got it right," said James suspiciously.

"Oh, right. Uh... Sorry," said Remus, rushing towards the door.

"Moony...?" asked James.

Remus sighed and closed his eyes. "Yes, James. You guessed it right. Gotta go, see you later," he said. He rushed out the door and ran for his life. How could he face them now? Especially Sirius, without being embarrassed?