Just a little something that I concocted out of the perverted regions of my mind. You'll see why it's perverted next chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or InuYasha. Sigh… I wish anime characters were real… Then I'd have Byakushi all to myself! :D

"talking"

'thinking'

Chapter I: Purely Platonic

LOLOLOLOL

The first of April some do say
Is set apart for All Fool's Day;
But why the people call it so
Nor I, nor they themselves, do know,
But on this day are people sent
On purpose for pure merriment

~ Anonymous

LOLOLOLOL

All of Soul Society was abuzz on the last day of March. Everyone that loved jokes was stocking up their armories of fake spiders and mice, the cans of Silly String, and air-horns. Gag gifts, left at the last minute, were being prepared hastily but efficiently. Several subordinates, serving under Captain Hitsugaya, were planning on 'toilet-papering' their young superior's office; Hitsugaya's lieutenant had given them the key to the office in advance.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, the people that often had jokes played on them were sighing with resignation or quaking with fear. One Yamada Hanatarou, whose birthday was on the first day of April, was one of those that patiently bore the constant tricks and pranks directed at him; his work day would be slightly more hectic than normal.

Then there were those that were neutral. They didn't prepare any tricks in advance, or expect a bucket-load of them in return. Perhaps on a whim they would play a trick when an opportune moment struck, or they would laugh it off when the joke was on them. Higurashi Kagome was one of these people.

Being the Third Seat of the Sixth Division, Kagome's occupation left little room for pastimes such as playing jokes on people. Because the Captain of the Sixth Division was Kuchiki Byakuya, the members of the squad kept their tricks to a minimum while within the region of their barracks and when they were on duty. Nobody wanted to anger or irritate their stoic, workaholic captain.

The same was true with Kagome. While she had no desire to play tricks, she loyally and dutifully saw through the tasks that her captain gave her to the end, as well as carrying out the duties that were expected of a Third Seat officer. Her paperwork was always handed in on time, she obeyed all of the orders given to her, and she was never late.

Kagome supposed that the only reason she was so loyal to Captain Kuchiki was because she, like many of the young women in the Gotei 13, had fallen in love with him. It was hard not to fall in love with the exceedingly-handsome heir of the Kuchiki noble house. Unlike most the young women, however, Kagome channeled her love into her work, serving Kuchiki Byakuya as he expected of one of his officers. As long as he wasn't bothered by her performance, she was happy.

He would never know that she loved him, of course, since Kagome had planned it that way. But that didn't stop her from kicking out the love-struck girls that sometimes came knocking on the door of the perfectly-composed captain's office. Kagome's reasoning was that if she couldn't have him, then they obviously couldn't either, so why bother?

Kuchiki Byakuya was nobility; didn't those stupid girls understand that they, like Kagome herself, were too common for the likes of him? Besides, he was still in love with his late wife, Hisana, who had died around fifty years previously. Him falling in love again anytime soon was like a penguin suddenly learning the ability to fly: unlikely.

'A flying penguin,' thought Kagome wryly on that last day of March, placing her finished paperwork on her captain's desk. 'Now that I would like to see.'

As usual, Kuchiki Byakuya didn't acknowledge her presence. She was a subordinate, not an equal; it was her job to announce herself, not his to give notice that she was there.

Standing erect, Kagome carefully schooled her face into a monotone expression as she faced Kuchiki Byakuya. Since her captain himself did not show emotions willy-nilly, she followed example. Kagome could not remember a time in the past few years that she had cracked a smile in Captain's Kuchiki's presence. He was serious and businesslike; so was she.

The handsome captain was sitting behind his desk, doing paperwork in his steady, efficient manner. Kagome had to resist watching the slow, mesmerizing way he brushed the ink strokes onto the paper; it was something that she found herself wanting to do every time she found him doing paperwork, which was often.

"I am finished with my duties, Kuchiki-sama," reported Kagome evenly. "May I be excused now?"

Slate-grey eyes lifted upwards and met her own – the dark, grey-blue color of a thunderstorm heavily laden with rain (1) – briefly before lowering back down towards the paperwork on the desk.

"You finished everything?" he confirmed, speaking to his report and not her. "Including the reports from the Hollow attacks from a week ago?"

"Hai, Kuchiki-sama," said Kagome, nodding curtly; she always addressed him as '-sama', since even a 'commoner' could become a captain.

"You may go," said her captain shortly, focused on his calligraphic writing once more.

Kagome bowed respecfully and turned on her heel, heading for the door. As she went, she admired the beautifully-made bookshelves lining the walls of his room, each shelf filled neatly with large, thick tomes. She wondered what the books were about, and once again resisted the urge to pull one out to satisfy her curiosity.

The wood, however, Kagome was sure about; it was probably the most expensive kind there was in the Soul Society.

Reaching the door, she slid it open quietly and stepped out into the hallway beyond. She turned and began to slide it closed once more, and saw that Captain Kuchiki was still going at his paperwork, taking no notice of her absence.

It almost stung, but Kagome knew that it was just her captain's absorption in his own duties that made him forget almost everything else. Not everyone else was as understanding and passed him off as cold-hearted.

'One good thing about being Kuchiki-taichou is,' thought Kagome with amusement, 'that no one would even dare to play an April Fool's joke on him.'

Owari

LOLOLOLOL

Author's Notes

(1) One of my favorite colors, probably because I love thunderstorms so much.

LOLOLOLOL

I hope you've liked it so far. Remember to read and review! ^.^

Until next time, ja ne! ^.^