I'm back with more random! I was reading Wikipedia (...don't question how I spend my free time...) reading the page on Russia-US relations and it directed me to a page on...well, you'll see.

RusAme random fluffly crap. It's humor. Don't sue me for lack of character development, horrible writing, or lack of actual plot. It was supposed to be random.

Now for translations and pronounciations! (new and improved, I know! now you can pretend you speak Russian!)

дорогой (dorogoĭ) means darling (or some kind of endearment like that),

подсолнечник (podsolnechnik) means sunflower,

пожалуйста (pozhaluĭsta) means please,

проклятие (proklyatie) means damn, apparently (blame Google for innacuracy!) and the rest can be figured out because the one other string of Cyrillic that isn't there is a name that is translated in the story. So...read onwards to the fluff!

"дорогой, I am home!" Russia set the black felt bag of vodka bottles down on the counter and walked into the living room. His lover was scowling at something on the laptop screen.

"проклятие И́горь Никола́евич Пана́рин..." He laughed at America's slight accent as he spoke Russian and sat next to him. "What is it, подсолнечник?"

"Igor Nikolayevich Panarin."

"And why do you hate Igor Panarin so much?" The only response was to have the computer shoved into his lap.

He read and laughed. "You are reading this because...?"

"Rereading it because...I don't know...I was trawling Wikipedia."

What on earth were you searching that could make you stumble upon this?"

The laptop was immediately snatched back.

"Tell me?"

"No."

"пожалуйста?"

"No."

"P-"

"This is the kind of time I wish you'd just shut up and get drunk on the vodka you just bought."

"Aw, but you love me and you'll tell me, da~?"

"Hell no."

"Kolkolkolkolkolkol..."

"You know that doesn't scare me."

Damn. New plan. He reached for the laptop and pulled, conveniently forgetting about America's inhuman strength in his strategizing. A onesided tug-of-war ensued over said piece of technology. "Stop it, you're gonna break it!" Another tug and they both ended up on the floor, America awkwardly crouching over Russia.

"...this is awkward..."

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

He took the chance to grab at the computer, but America held it out of his reach and smiled triumphantly. "Ha."

Damn it! "Pleeeaaaaase?" He attempted to make an innocent face like America was wont to do. Blue eyes lost their fiery resolve for a moment before glaring darkly at him. "No."

"...this is a really stupid argument, isn't it."

"No, really. And you know the best way of ending it? Le-"

"Giving me the computer!" He leapt up and snatched it from him, clicking the back button in the internet browser.

A small smile graced his features. "Aww, you're so adorable, America...reading Wikipedia pages about us..."

Said nation was sitting on the floor by the other end of the couch and as far away from him as possible. "Shut up."

He set the laptop down and pulled his lover into his lap. "I love you, дорогой."

"..."

He continued on in his childish falsetto. "And Ivan would be very sad if his дорогой was split apart, even if he did get his Alaska back-"

He blushed bright red. "I love you too, okay? Just shut up."

That was random...Based on my own adventures of trawling Wikipedia and I searched Russia and America... go to (dot org) and paste this in after the forward slash: wiki/Russia_%E2%80%93_United_States_relations

And if you look up Igor Panarin you'll get his page and somewhere on it you'll find his theory of how America will be split up among Canada, Mexico, the EU, Russia, and Japan... o.o I don't like him much either, America. *patriotic*

Normally I'd try to get a link but fanfiction (dot net) deletes everything.

"This is the kind of time I wish you'd just shut up and get drunk on the vodka you just bought." Wouldn't that be an awesome song lyric? This is the kind of time, that I wish you'd just shut up and get drunk, on the vodka you just boooouuuught... I would totally listen to a song like that... O.o Goes to show you how weird I am...