Apathy

This was the first day in two weeks that wasn't sweltering hot. It was actually quite the opposite. It was cool and pouring rain. There were kids running with their friends to the nearest one's house and adults with briefcases covering their heads while running from the car to the front door. But the weather wasn't bothering Harry in the least. In fact, he didn't even really comprehend that he was soaked through to the bone and shivering. He just sat on the park bench and stared. Stared at the first place he had ever set eyes on his godfather.

Even as he sat there thinking about Sirius, and how painful it should have been to think about, he shed no tears. He was too numb to cry. To confused. To….angry. Not exactly angry at Sirius but mad at himself for getting him killed. Angry at not trying harder during occulemency. Angry at Voldemort for being the cold blooded murderer that he was. And lastly, he was mad at everyone else. For leaving him here at the Dursley's house. It had been two weeks since he arrived though it felt like forever. At least he was able to receive letters this time. Even though he only replied two other times than the required 3 times for the order. He couldn't gain the mental energy to reply to all of the concern.

Remus's letters were the worst. They were filled with attempted comfort and sympathy that Harry knew Remus needed as much, if not more, than Harry did. Hermione's letters meant well but were overwhelming. She kept trying to get him to talk and kept insisting that she understood what he was feeling. But she didn't just get her godfather killed. She didn't just find out that she had a prophecy looming over her head. And she didn't just get mentally raped but her worst enemy. She would never know what he was going through. Ron's letters were the only ones he could bare to read and respond to. Out of the 10 he sent, Harry replied to two of them. The letters weren't full of pity or sympathy. He wrote about anything. He wrote about how annoying Hermione and Ginny were, new products that Fred and George invented, quidditch, or escape plans for getting Harry out of the muggle's house. He was the only one attempting to let Harry forget about the ministry fiasco. Even if he would only forget for a minute or so.

The only other thing that would take his mind off of things was walking outside. So that's what he did everyday, all day. He would wake up from a nightmare as not sleep for the rest of the night. When everyone was up and breakfast had been served, Harry took the Dursley's love of food for granted by sneaking out the front door and walking to the park.

As Harry sat on the bench staring and thinking, he didn't notice that his shirt was sticking to his skin, as was his hair. A particularly loud crack of thunder and a even brighter bolt of lightening brought Harry out of his thoughts with a jump and he pulled his wand out. After realizing he was scared out of his mind by the weather, he put his wand away, took a deep breath and started his journey back to number four private drive.

Once he stepped through the door he was berated by his aunt.

" Where have you been?" she snapped, "Vernon will be home soon and I don't need you making him mad by tracking mud through the house." She finished by throwing a towel at him.

"Leave your shoes outside."

He sighed and dried enough so that he wasn't dripping and made his way hurriedly upstairs to his room. He went to his trunk and pulled a clean pair of clothes out and changed. Once he was dry and warm again, he noticed Hedwig flying through the downpour with a letter tied to her leg and he noticed that the letters had been charmed to stay dry. When she got into the room he took his towel and dried Hedwig and took the letter from her talons.

"Thanks Hedwig." He said hoarsely. He had been having terrible nightmares all night and had woken up screaming. He had not used his sore voice the rest of the day.

Hedwig must have noticed the change in her masters voice because she hooted sadly. Unrolling the letter, Harry recognized Ron's messy writing immediately.

Harry,

Hey mate! How're you doing? Everything's boring as hell around here. By the way, I hope you've done some of your summer homework before you get here. Hermione will have your head if you don't. She keeps yelling at me for not having started yet. I guess some things will never change huh? Mum's in a right state over here. She actually yelled at Dumbledore yesterday. Something about leaving you at the Dursley's and how they never feed you properly so she has to make extra food when you get here. She wont ever let you go now mate! You're stuck with us forever now mate! Well speaking of mum, she's yelling at me for dinner so I best get going. Don't let the muggles get you down. You'll be out of there soon!

Your mate,

Ron

Harry put down the letter and sighed. He said he'd be out soon in every letter but how soon was soon? It had been three days since his last letter so he picked up a quill and some parchment and started writing.

Ron,

Everything's fine here. Muggles aren't as bad as they usually are, I guess Moody's warning worked. Tell Hermione that, yes, I did start my homework. There's nothing else to do around here is there? I could really use some of your mum's cooking though. How soon is soon? Because I'm going mental. Please get me out soon.

Harry

He rolled it up and called Hedwig over now that the rain had slowed to a slow drizzle.

"Sorry about this Hedwig, but I need this to get to Ron tonight." She was up to the flight though and took the letter and flew out the window.

He watched her leave and then collapsed onto his bed, ready for the nightmare he knew would plaque his mind that night.