Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, or facebook (think I mentioned that in here), or anything related to twilight, in anyway

Enjoy

Twilight Gone Wrong, Chapter 1

Bella leaned back into his chest.

"What the heck do you think you're doing?" He asked. She turned around and glared at him.

"I'm trying to get romantic. What does it look like I'm doing?" He snorted and allowed her to lean against him.

Edward wasn't so bad; he was just a little, for lack of a better word, inconsiderate.

"Bella, do you like me?" He asked her. She laughed.

"What do you think?" She retorted.

"I think you do." He said with a air to his tone.

"And what make you so sure?" She inquired.

He puffed out his chest and smiled. "Well because I am the like biggest star, and there are literal girls in the double digits that are waiting, right off the set to like, take me out or something. Why would you be any different?"

She pushed away from him and stood up.

"Ugh, you no good, dirty rotten..." She said glaring at him. He looked at her incredulously. "You insignificant dirty rotten vampire! How dare you? And for a moment there, I actually liked you! I mean what was the writer doing? Trying to kill me? Jeez, you're worse than Victoria! And she did try to kill me!" She stopped, running out of air. Her chest moved quickly up and down. "Oh and one more thing, real men DO NOT SPARKLE!"

He winced, tears coming to his eyes. "Don't scream at me Bella, you know I'm sensitive." He started wailing and rolling around on the ground. Her mouth fell open and she smiled, grabbing her phone.

"This is so going on facebook."

Someone walked up behind her and put his hand on her shoulder. She looked at him.

"Oh, hey Laurent!" She said, still filming Edward. He grinned at her.

"I see you have put the great Edward Cullen in his place." She nodded.

"I was only too happy to obliged." She felt Laurent's hand suddenly reach around her in a gentle way…

SLAP

He rubbed his face. "Oww!" He complained. "What was that for?" She scowled at him.

"As you can see, I have just gotten out of a relationship, so if you would not mind giving me some space." She said coolly. He just mumbled and started walking away. Edward had stopped rolling around and was getting up. He sniffled.

"Bella?" He said quietly. "Will you marry me?"

SLAP

Thus started the vicious cycle again.

She had been forced to get a ride home from the blood sucker, after all tonight was cold, and sleeping where Laurent could get to her, was not appealing.

'I should have known he was a wimp, ever since we played that baseball game. He ran like a girl and couldn't pitch, for the life of him.'

He stopped the car in front of her house and leaned over to kiss her.

"Not on your life." She said, quickly gathering her things and leaving his presents.

"It's a good thing I'm dead then!" Edward called out, waving out from his car. She sighed and waited till he had driven away before coming near her house. Something wasn't right though. The lights that were usually on in the house were not, everything was dark. She rushed in only to drop her mouth and stuff onto the floor.

"Hello Bella." Said a soothing voice. It was Jacob, in the middle of her floor, with candles all around him, and a rose between his lips. He had no shirt, but had done her the honor of keeping his pants. She quickly composed herself.

"I break up with Edward for five minutes and already you try to get me." She shock her finger at him, fake scolding. "I thought you were better than that." She said smiling. He smiled too. Spitting out the rose and standing up. He looked slightly embarrassed.

"Yeah, I know it really isn't me but…" He trailed off and Bella could not help but giggle when he moved his eyebrows up and down. Suddenly his eyes went very serious and he walked over to her, embracing her.

"I am sorry," He said softly. "About your break up. Are you alright?" She nodded and pressed her face into his shirt.

"Why I didn't break up with that pig in the first book I have no idea." She said completing the embrace by wrapping her arms around him too.

"You know that's very insulting to pigs everywhere." He laughed.

"You know it." She agreed. Looking over his shoulder, she saw something move in the corner of her eyes. "What was that?" She asked. Jacob shrugged and turned on a light. Bella gasped as her father with his mouth gaged and his arms and legs tied fell into a undignified heap. Bella stifled a giggle and stared with humor at Jacob.

"What? He said I couldn't use my candles!"

First I wish to thank you for reading.

Second I wish to say that this is my first, so do be nice with the comments :)

Third, a thanks to my friend, MaeBTrubble who I have secretly stolen from, go see her stories to make up for it, please (0-0) (puppy dog eyes)

Again thank you and I will be updating soon, I hope...