Just a ramble.

Sorry if you think it's rubbish, I created this at the end of Series 5. It's a bit all over the place. Sorry :S.

I also had trouble of the name of this because of the confusing order of it all.

If you think you have a better name, or anything that would improve this, please do tell me (:

The first 11th Doctor fan fiction I ever wrote… the only one to be honest… I love writing for Ten!

Lucy x

Amy, Rory and Guilt.

What is it with my companions and famous historical figures?

The Doctor thought to himself as he watched Amy Pond and Vincent Van Gough flirt openly.

Martha and Shakespeare. I mean, of course she didn't provoke that. But most of the time she enjoyed it, only because she was thinking it made me jealous. It didn't.

Rose was never like that. She wouldn't want that sort of attention.

Then he stopped. He was still thinking about Rose, subconsciously, and it still hurt.

But it wasn't meant to hurt. Because he'd left that man behind, he was a new person, with new feelings.

But however much he still loved Rose, not that he would ever admit that, he'd found himself watching Amy more and more.

And found that he got… jealous? No, not jealous. Time Lords do not get jealous.

Annoyed. That was the word. Definitely not jealous. What was there to be jealous about anyway? It's not like they were together. He was not jealous. And, anyway, she was just having harmless fun.

He couldn't be like that with her now anyway. He couldn't before either.

One word. One name. One person. Rory.

And sometimes he saw. A strange, but simple look of sadness in her eyes.

Even if Rory had only been gone for about a week in Earth time, but he'd seen more of those looks than he'd ever imagined would be possible.

But the worst thing was, he wasn't sure if he wanted her to remember Rory.

That sounded bad. That sounded so, so bad. And that's why he couldn't ever do anything, because of the guilt.

Always looming over him, a never ending guilt.

Whether it's to do with the Time war. Whether it's to do with all the people he's killed… let down… lost, he always has to feel guilty. And no matter what happens, he has to carry on. Because one day, if he saved enough people, If he manages to make up for all the lives he's destroyed, he might be lifted of all his burdens.

Maybe, if he softened the bad things, and added to the good things, he could make sense of the universe and he would be remembered not for being the destroyer of everything, but for healing and making people better.