Today was one of the greatest days of my life. It was also the second worst. I'd like to concentrate on the 'one of the greatest' and probably won't talk much about why it was the second worst. I still had an excellent day, but bad things just happened really fast.
So...this story...

Scars.

Everyone has them, but not all of them are visible.

The most obvious ones are the physical scars. As a result of fights and battles, physical scars aren't that painful compared to other scars. These are the scars your Clanmates show around and always boast about.

Then there's the mental scars. These are usually the things you will never unsee but always will wish you did. In the world of the Clans, this is probably when a cat you love or a cat you greatly respect dies right in front of you. And maybe some other things.

Lastly of these broad definitions of scars, there's the emotional scars. Emotional scars can be a result of physical or mental scars, but not always. Emotional scars are when life looks at all the bad things about your life, which quite often you don't like to think about, and laughs in your face about it because it doesn't care. When someone mocks you about something that isn't your fault, when a loved one or one you respect is gone from your life, this results in grief or sadness, and often both. When this builds up, it turns into something you'll never get over, something that will always make your grieve, something that always brings tears to your eyes, or something that makes you do something about your situation that might not be the greatest solution in the world, but ends up working well.

Emotional scars are often the worst.

Tawnypaw hated things about her life that she wanted to get rid of, but there was nothing she could to change them. Therefore, she tried to look at things positively. Yes, her father was a murderer who took over ShadowClan, nearly took over ThunderClan, and was hated by almost every cat in ThunderClan, but he was a brave and powerful warrior, and she was proud of that. She didn't necessarily admire his actions, but she admired his skill. ThunderClan didn't trust her or her brother, but that was all the more reason for them to be the best warriors they could be and earn the respect of their Clanmates, wasn't it?

But looking at the positive side would be a lot easier if ThunderClan wasn't so paranoid.

Everywhere she looked, Tawnypaw was faced with the suspicious eyes of her Clanmates. She was faced with cats who were thinking, she could tell by the look in their eyes, that she and Bramblepaw would end up just like Tigerstar. If they didn't think that, they were wondering where the two apprentices' loyalties were, with their father or their Clan. Even Firestar didn't completely trust them. Either that, or he was suspicious of Tigerstar, since the two apprentices had never gone to a Gathering. It wasn't Firestar's fault, but Tawnypaw couldn't help being frustrated as another Gathering passed by and Bramblepaw and Tawnypaw weren't selected to go.

Tawnypaw sighed as she curled up in her nest, staring up longingly at the full moon in the sky. "Bramblepaw?"

"Yeah?" Bramblepaw asked from his nest nearby Tawnypaw's. He was curled up in his nest as well, and his eyes were already closed. "What is it?"

"Why haven't we gone to any Gatherings?" Tawnypaw asked, even though she knew the answer.

"You already know why," Bramblepaw muttered. "Firestar is worried that Tigerstar would take the opportunity to steal us from ThunderClan."

"I'm willing to risk that to go to a Gathering," Tawnypaw growled under her breath.

"And is everyone else in ThunderClan?" Bramblepaw asked her. "With the threats facing us, ThunderClan can't afford to lose any potential warriors."

"So to Firestar we're just cats to increase ThunderClan's ranks?"

Bramblepaw sighed. "Tawnypaw, it might not look like it, but Firestar actually cares about us. He does believe that we can rise above our father's shadow and become well-known and great warriors in our own right. Besides, even if you don't believe that, imagine how Goldenflower would feel if Tigerstar captured us at a Gathering."

"I suppose you're right," Tawnypaw mumbled. "'Night, Bramblepaw."

"Good night, Tawnypaw."

So how many cats actually believed in Tawnypaw in Bramblepaw? Tawnypaw really wanted to know. She was tired of feeling the stares of other cats whenever she went to grab some freshkill from the freshkill pile or took a step into camp, and she was definitely tired of cats comparing her to Tigerstar.

Tawnypaw hurried through the camp with a ball of moss in her mouth. Smallear wanted moss for a nest in the elder's den, and Tawnypaw was eager to please him. He always criticized her work to the smallest detail, and always said she was just liked Tigerstar, or at least would end up just like him. Tawnypaw wanted to get this task over, and prayed to StarClan Smallear would leave her alone this time.

Tawnypaw rushed into the elder's den and dropped the ball of moss in front of Smallear. "Here's your moss, Smallear." She then proceeded to make the moss into a comfortable ness.

Smallear narrowed his eyes at her as she worked. "You're late."

Tawnypaw paused in her work. "I'm really sorry, Smallear, I-" she began to apologize.

"Don't bother," Smallear told her, and she went back to her work. "Tigerstar never respected his elders."

She should've known better. Tawnypaw ignored the remark at the moment.

"He always came late, barely did a half-way decent job, and never listened to our stories unless they were about TigerClan or LionClan," Smallear complained.

Tawnypaw continued to ignore the elder.

Smallear paused to give her a critical eye before continuing. "You're going to end up just like your father. In fact, you've become quite a bit like him already."

Tawnypaw's tail lashed as she finished making the moss into a nest. "Anything else, Smallear?" she hissed.

"I have other things I need done, but not from you," Smallear told her. "I prefer tasks to be done on time and done well."

Tawnypaw left the elder's den. "That lousy Smallear!" she mumbled under her breath. "I've never-"

"What's the matter, Tawnypaw?" Bramblepaw asked from just outside the apprentice's den.

Tawnypaw told Bramblepaw what happened. "...He always does this, too!"

"A flea must be biting his fur," Bramblepaw told her. When Tawnypaw didn't calm down any, he continued. "Maybe we should talk to Firestar, he'll talk to Smallear."

Tawnypaw ignored her brother. "That lousy, lazy, crow-food eating Smallear."

"You shouldn't talk about your elders that way." Tawnypaw looked up to see Firestar scold her. Of course he was scolding her. That's all any cat did when they were talking to her lately. "They've lived good, long lives and have lots of wisdom from experience. They deserve the rest they get."

"Then what gives Smallear the right to pick on me?" Tawnypaw demanded.

Bramblepaw looked from Firestar to Tawnypaw. "Tawnypaw, maybe you should tell Firestar what you told me."

"Fine." Tawnypaw told Firestar the whole story. "And this isn't the first time, either. Every time I enter the den, that stupid elder always makes some remark on how I'll end up just like my father!"

"I wonder what's biting at his fur?" Firestar asked. "I'll talk to him, Tawnypaw. He should know better to treat apprentices like that."

"He won't change," Tawnypaw said to herself as Firestar and Bramblepaw left. "He'll never see me for who I am, just for who my father is."

The day went on, and Firestar still hadn't talked to Smallear. He'd left camp to go on some sort of mission with Graystripe. Tawnypaw knew that it was important, but she was rather annoyed that he hadn't even said anything to Smallear before he left. And Smallear wasn't the only one pestering her about her father.

Tawnypaw needed to go somewhere to clear her head. A place any cat would think of, but a place that she could be left in peace. A place that no cat would think of at first. A place where no cat would find her.

She decided on Fourtrees. She'd never actually been inside Fourtrees, so this would be a great opportunity. All she needed was for no ThunderClan cat to find her there.

Tawnypaw left camp and went to Fourtrees, doing her best to make her trail hard to follow. She used every trick she could think of to throw off any cat that would track her. It took longer than just going there, but Tawnypaw felt free to take her time. Even going to Fourtrees, as long as she was careful, she felt more peaceful and felt like her head was clearer.

However, when she reached Fourtrees, Tawnypaw wasn't alone. Tawnypaw stared excitedly at the four trees and the Great Rock, but the magic of this place was interrupted by the presence of another cat in the same area.

Tawnypaw turned towards the other cat at Fourtrees. From his scent, he seemed to be a ShadowClan warrior.

"You must be a ShadowClan warrior," Tawnypaw said as she faced the warrior.

"And you must be Tawnypaw, Tigerstar's daughter," the warrior said.

"You're correct," Tawnypaw told him.

"As are you," the warrior agreed. "So, what brings you to Fourtrees?"

"I don't feel like I belong in ThunderClan," Tawnypaw admitted."Everyone gives me suspicious looks and a few cats bother me about being related to Tigerstar. An elder has been bothering me about how I'm going to betray ThunderClan."

"That must be tough," the warrior told her. Looking into his eyes, Tawnypaw could see genuine sympathy.

"It is," she agreed. "I've just about had it with my Clan. My Clan leader can't even go to the elders and tell them to leave me alone."

"It doesn't sound like you belong," the warrior agreed.

"I feel like a ShadowClan cat in a ThunderClan camp," Tawnypaw admitted.

"Your options are always open," the warrior told her. "If you ever wanted to belong, your father would always welcome you into ShadowClan."

"He would," she agreed. She'd known this all along, after hearing the terrible things her father had done. At yet, for the first time, she began to consider complying with his request. "I'm sure he would."

"If you ever wanted to join ShadowClan or just get away, we're just a territory away," the warrior told her. He began to walk away.

"Wait," Tawnypaw told him, and the warrior stopped. "I want to join ShadowClan."

"Very well," the warrior said. "Follow me."

Before following the warrior, Tawnypaw looked back into her territory. It was a hard decision to leave her mother and her brother behind in ThunderClan to join her father, the cat she had been raised to hate, in ShadowClan. She shouldn't even be considering this.

Tawnypaw turned away and followed the ShadowClan border into ShadowClan territory.

It was the right decision.