Hey, everybody! I know this chapter is long overdue, but I have been super busy lately with school and work. Anyway, I should have another chapter to you guys by the end of the week. I hope you enjoy, or don't. And be sure to check out my new story, Open Your Eyes, might be multi-chapter, might be Kames, I'm not sure yet. Oh, by the way, the American Cancer Society holds an event called Relay For Life, which is always super fun, you walk all night with your friends and there is always lots of fun and memories. This year's Team Tyler raised over $2,000! I am so, so proud! We love to go out to breakfast afterward and talk about Tylerisms, or those funny things Tyler did and of course the times we all smiled and laughed. Love you always, missing you more, T! Thank you so much, xoxo.

P.S. Be sure to check out the Go Green Big Time Rush episode tonight!

"Wait, I'm wrong, should've done better than this. Please, I'll be strong, I'm finding it hard to resist. Show me what I'm looking for, save me, I'm lost, Oh Lord I've been waiting for you. I'll pay any cost to save me from being confused. Show me what I'm looking for, show me what I'm looking for, Oh Lord…" Show Me What I'm Looking For, Carolina Liar.

"Dad?"

I look up from my packing and turn to my son. He is a carbon copy of me, all blond hair and eyebrows with long, flailing limbs. Sometimes I think he resembles a creature made of sunlight and pipe cleaners more than a seven year old boy.

"Yeah, Bud?"

"Are you leaving?"

"Only for a few months. I'll be back before Katie's second birthday."

He launches himself at me and buries his head in my camouflage uniform. I cradle him against my chest.

"Oh, Kendall. You're a big boy now, and you have look after Mom and your sister. I'll still call every week."

"Promise?"

His eyes are damp and bright. I smooth his locks down and kiss the crown of his head.

"Promise."

I smile at the reappearance of his dimples, but my heart is heavy. I look at my loving family. My baby girl in her high stool, my wife cooking breakfast in kitchen. I love my son more than anything in the world. I taught him how to skate, how to tie his shoes, I drove his friends to hockey practice, and curled up with him on the couch watching the Caps and the Wild go head to head. Even though I've missed Christmas and Thanksgiving this year, I swore that April would be better. Until they called me back to Iraq. And then the affair started. It's hard to be away from your wife for that long.

Juggling Kendall on my hip, I kiss Katie's cheek, who giggles, and pass my son over to Challen. We share a long, deep kiss, trying to pretend we don't notice the obvious lack of passion. I grab my duffle bags and head out the door.

As I open the car, I'm greeted with another kiss, sweeter and more intense. I steel a glance out the window, at the quaint house that holds my family. My girlfriend, Emily, puts her hand around my cheek and pulls me to her. As the car drives off, so does my regret.

The plane takes off to L.A. and I'm still in my uniform,. More importantly, I'm nervous. I haven't seen my son in nearly ten years, since that day. That final goodbye. I've heard his voice, and I've fought with his mom. We filed for divorced when he was eight. I proposed to my fiancé when he was eleven. But that didn't work out either. She left me for some dark, Spanish hunk when I was in Iraq. Part of me wishes I could have stayed with my family. Seen them grow up. I haven't seen Katie since she was a baby and I am curious to see what she looks like. I bet she takes after her beautiful mother.

"Daddy? Daddy? Are you there?"

I hold the phone away from ear and carefully get out of bed, trying very hard not to wake Emily. I slip on a robe and head to the living room.

"Yeah, Big Man, I'm here. What's up?"

Was he aware that it was two in the morning my time? Of course not, I don't think nine year olds know about time differences. Maybe his one smart friend who I drove to Pee Wee hockey does. He was always telling me random facts in the car. What was his name? Lucas?

"You didn't call yesterday. You said you'd call every week."

I did say that. I also said that I would have my wife forever 'till death do us part, but that didn't work out either.

"I'm sorry. I was really busy. Will you forgive me?"

"Of course, Daddy."

"So, how's school?"

I can hear him smile through the phone.

What will he look like? Does he still sound the same? Does he have a girlfriend? Is his favorite color still green? Lucky number still 13? I know he's in a band, I read about in a magazine Emily showed me.

"Isn't this your son?" She sits at the vanity, fixing her hair, "I saw it today at the drug store."

"Yeah… That's Kendall."

She waltz over and places her hands on my shoulder. She leans close to my ear.

"He looks just like you, you must be proud," She kisses my lips.

There's that sinking feeling in my stomach again, "Yeah, I am."

I get lost in her vanilla perfume.

"Um, excuse me? Sir? The plan is landing, you have to put up your trey table."

I am awakened by the lady next to me, my fleeting dreams of memories disappear.

"Thank you."

She smiles coyly at me, and I realize just how pretty she is. Auburn hair and brown eyes. She reminds me of Challen.

"So," she tucks her hair behind her ear, "What brings you to L.A.?"

"My son, he's sick. With cancer."

Her whole expression changes.

"You're not wearing a wedding ring…?"

The pilot tells us we've landed and I waste no time getting my bags and stepping of the plane.

"Are you nervous?" Logan asks his friend, who is currently holding an oxygen mask over his face. The surgery is less than 20 minutes away and everybody is freaking out. Having seven people- Carlos, Logan, James, Kendall, Katie, Mrs. Knight, and a nurse crammed into the prep room wasn't helping, but it was comforting to be with Kendall, who was awake.

"A little."

"Now, this is a major surgery and because we are removing a lot tissue it places a lot of stress on even a healthy a heart," The nurse says, "The surgeons fully expect to perform CPR."

At this everybody gasps.

"We are taking out the mass around your pelvis and placing rods where the bone was, same with your leg. This will result in significant blood loss, so we have several transfusions ready to go. We will give him anesthetic and intubate once he's under. He should be breathing on his own in recovery. Mom, you can stay with us until we go to the OR. While we're there, we will also place a port in his chest for Chemotherapy and draw some bone marrow to see if any cancer has metastasized. Do you all get what I am saying?"

Logan is the first to nod. James and Carlos are confused, but they understand this is the first step to get Kendall healthy.

"Alright. The surgery will take place in fifteen minutes. I'll leave so you can all say goodbye."

Kendall takes down the mask and looks with sad eyes at his family and friends.

"What did I do to deserve cancer?"

"You didn't do anything, Honey," Challen says as she smoothes down his hair, "I love you so much, Baby."

"Kendall. You have to pull through this, I don't know what I'd do without you," James grasps one of Kendall's hands, careful of the IV's.

"Buddy, do you promise you'll come out alive? You can even wear my helmet," Carlos is crying. He pulls his best friend into a hug and is surprised when Kendall's other hand rubs his back.

"Don't worry guys, you know me. Remember that game against Center Grove North? The odds were totally against us. Those guys played dirty and kept ramming us. We all agreed it would be so much easier to quit. But did we? No! We pulled through and beat them! Even if we did end up with broken noses… Anyway, I'm not going to let anything beat me, not even cancer. What have we learned since we came to L.A.?

"That all good rock stars wear spandex?"

"That Coke is blue before the put in the caramel coloring?"

"Never to be on a reality TV show again?"

"No, guys, it's that we are all stronger than we know. Believe me when I say together we can do anything. And even though I'm going in that room alone, I'll have all of you with me."

Tears fall down the teenagers' faces, and Katie sobs into her brother's side.

"It's okay, Baby Sister, I'll be back so you can torture me some more," He laughs, "I love you."

"I love you Big Brother, so you'd better pull through!"

"I am so proud of you. You are the best son I could of ever asked for. I'm proud of all of you."

"I love you, Mom."

"I love you so, so much, Sweetheart."

One more squeeze of the hand and kiss on the cheek and the nurse, followed by several doctors comes in.

"Mom, do you want to gown up?" The nurse asks as she checks Kendall's vital signs. The doctor leans him down on the bed and places a different, bulkier mask over his face.

Challen, now disguised with a blue gown and mask, navigates through the team of medics to hold her son's hand.

"Sorry, boys, time to say goodbye."

James holds Katie in his arms as they give Kendall one last wave. He gives them a thumbs up through the crowd of doctors. With that, the doors swing closed.

"Take deep breathes, Kendall. Can you count to ten for me?" The technician asks him.

His worried green eyes find his mom's as his eyebrows crease. He counts slowly and by the time he gets to seven his body starts to fight it.

"Just how he reacts. You can give him a kiss now."

Challen presses her lips to her son's sweaty forehead. The sterile room suddenly seems very heavy.

"We're ready to intubate."

She's led away by the nurse and watches as the doctor lifts an impossibly long tube and feeds it down his throat. She shields her eyes as she watches the teenager gag. Soon, the breathing tube is in place and the medics began to roll him down to the OR.

"Be strong, Baby!" She calls to her unresponsive son as she is walks through the door.