Harry Potter and the Police Girl

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Seras Victoria stepped through the door into London, somewhat sad that she was no longer capable of getting drunk. Two vampires had recently invaded the Hellsing manor, and she wasn't able to contain her monster. She had become just as bloodthirsty as her sire, and Sir Integra almost wasn't able to calm her down.

In her old life, she might have visited a psychologist, or a church. But a psychologist couldn't be trusted with the secrets of the night, and she didn't belong in churches anymore. She wasn't human any more, she was a monster.

Man, monster, and dog. Her master riddled about those often enough. She had thought she was a man, well, woman. Sure, she had some new cravings, but was still her old self, deep down inside. Then she realized she was a monster. A vampire, ripping the heads of ghouls and draining them of their blood. And not just any draculina, but one sired by the No Life King himself, Alucard of the Hellsing Organization. Only her master was a greater monster than she.

And she had fallen to a dog. Wallowing in her misery, she tried to drink her sorrows away. And vampires couldn't get drunk.

Holding back some of her more vicious thoughts about alcohol and it's lack of effect on her, Seras Victoria stopped her walk home at the sight of a strange man across the street in front of her. He was wearing a dress of some sort, or maybe a robe? A robe, though definitely strangely tailored. And yellow. A yellow robe.

He was holding a sign in front of him.

"Unemployed wizard," she spoke to herself. "Will cast magic for food."

Impossible! Witches and wizards didn't exist except in fairy tails!

"Then again," she muttered, looking down at herself. Vampires don't exist either.

Unable to restrain her curiosity, she quickly rushed across the street.

"Ahhh, excuse me. Are you actually a wizard?"

He gazed at her, noticing the slight glint of red in her eyes. "And you're a vampire."

"What … what?"

"I should have you know that I am quiet capable of defending myself, miss."

"No no no! I don' want to drink your blood. I just wanted to know if you were real. But, you did know I was a vampire right away. And …"

"Harry," the wizard spoke, interrupting her. "Harry Potter. Unemployed wizard at your service."

"Seras Victoria. Are you really a wizard?"

"Are you really a vampire."

"Well, yes, but …" she trailed off seeing him withdraw a wooden stick from his robes. And then it began to float, and twirl around his finger.

"I really am a wizard."

"Unemployed?"

"Alas, it is a tragic tail of marital bliss. Or rather, the lack thereof. My wife and I, we found a nice island to build our castle on a couple years back …"

"Castle?"

"All great wizards have castles. Or manors. Anyways, there we were, arguing over floor plans. One of the few good things normal people invented was television, and I wanted a home theater room with leather seats and a life size popcorn maker. She said I turned the volume up too high."

"So you didn't get your TV?"

"Of course! I allowed her to fall under the delusion I agreed with her, and I might have secretly built said theater room anyways. I might have finally installed the sound system last night, and possibly turned up the volume too loud? Although I'm not sure if that's really possible."

"She kicked you out for that?"

"Well, it was that time of the month, if you know what I mean. Daphne's a bit more emotional than usual. I figure I could break down the wards she set up, but it's better to just let her simmer down. A week, and I should be forgiven. I just hope she doesn't take TV away.

Anyways, seeing as I'm … self-employed, and my office is at home. Well, I'd really don't want to not eat for the next week. And I don't have any euros. You don't have any jobs available for an out of luck wizard, by any chance, do you?"

"Oh. Well, I don't … I live with my employer. She's nobility and her manor actually needs some repairs done. Can you use magic to speed up construction work," Seras asked, thinking of the damage Hellsing manor received during the fight with the Valentine brothers.

"Easily! I constructed my castle myself. There are many magics dedicated to construction and modification of housing."

"Well, the manor does need a lot of work. I'd like to help you, but my employer is very religious. I'm not sure she'd be happy having her manor repaired by magic. Still … it can't hurt to ask."

oOoOOoOOOoOOoOo

Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing looked at the strangely dressed man in front of her. Her agent, Seras, had brought him in less than an hour ago, and now she had to decide whether or not to hire him. They were in her office, and said blonde was currently standing behind the man she dragged him, looking both nervous and hopeful.

Witches and wizards. She knew they existed, her family had hired their services in the past. When Alucard was originally bound to the Hellsing line, so many years ago, it was a wizard who made sure everything went according to plan, and taught her family what was needed to control the vampire monster.

He was a natural born wizard. Not some heretic who was channeling the power of a demon. And the mansion was in need of a vast amount of repairs …

"Mr. Potter. If I decide to hire you, how long will it take you to repair the manor?"

"Well, you haven't cleaned up yet, so a lot of the rubble is still here. That makes it easier; putting things back the way they were, you understand, instead of starting from scratch. So, I would think two or three days. Maybe more if you have any special material requests, have to go shopping then. I could conjure the materials of course, but that will be more of a solid illusion than anything else, and I don't think you want that."

"Very well. I'm willing to hire you. Upon the completion and inspection of your work I'm willing to pay you 10,000 euros if everything is to my satisfaction. You will be provided with any extra materials you need, as well as a room to sleep in and access to the kitchen. Do we have an accord?"

Harry stuck out his hand, grinning. "Happy to do business with you, milady."

Seras smiled, her good deed making her feel more human than monster.

"But Master," a voice suddenly spoke through the walls. "Don't I have any say in this?"

"Allowing a young magician free roam of the manor, that's a rather daring thing to do, isn't it? Who knows who might turn into a toad."

"Actually, I'm rather partial to ferrets. One of my teachers turned a student into a ferret and bounced him all over the room. That's one of my happiest memories."

They all stared at him for a moment, until Alucard let loose a dark laugh.

"Hmmm, little magician. Maybe you won't be so boring after all. You'll have to fight me, during your stay here. I haven't fought a wizard in over a century. It's been so boring lately."

oOoOOoOOOoOOoOOo

"So," Harry asked, "If I'm understanding correctly. Your enemy used some horrible combination of magic and technology to create artificial vampires, to get around the whole virgin clause?"

"Yes, that sums up the situation," spoke the Hellsing lady.

"Are they the same otherwise though? And how strong are they?"

"As far as we have observed they are otherwise normal creatures of the night. And they aren't strong at all, relatively speaking of course. Alucard is the one killing them after all."

"So, they are fledglings then, not nosferatu yet."

"Correct."

"Well then, I have a proposition for you. Since I'm done with my repairs a bit early, I will offer to take care of your enemies. For the proper compensation, of course."

"Of course. And how will you do that, Mr. Potter."

"Quite simple really, my lady. As fledglings, these vampires will not yet have developed a resistance to sunlight. They aren't nosferatu yet. Alucard can tolerate sunlight just fine, and even Seras, although she told me she does get horrible sun burns if she stays out more than a few minutes. These vampires though … poof! They're gone."

"And how to you propose to expose them to sunlight? We don't even know where they operate from."

"During my school years, yes, wizards have schools, I took a class in divination. Useless for the most part, but it did teach scrying. I will simple use the remains of one of the freak chips you've recovered to determine the location of the rest. I will then turn myself invisible, and apparate to the location. One over-powered tanning charm later your problems should be finished."

Integra sat, looked at the man sitting across from her, and thought.

"What's your price?"

oOoOOoOOOoOOoOo

Seras Victoria wasn't quiet sure what to make of the strange contraption her new friend had built in the manor's back yard.

In the center was a silver basin, filled with water, and granite pillars on each side. Strange runes were carved over the pillars, and at the bottom of the basin was a freak chip.

However it worked, it worked, because Harry had vanished not more than five minutes ago. He had said it would take a while, but she couldn't help but worry.

Suddenly, with a pop, he reappeared.

"Did it work?" she asked?

"Beautifully! Whoever your enemy is, they were stupid enough to have their vampire soldiers take their blood together, in a cafeteria. Strange, but lucky for us. Although, there was this werewolf that nobody mentioned, and a pudgy guy. That's what took me so long."

Seras smiled, and leaped into Harry's arms, intending to hug him till he joined her in death.

Of course, it was at this moment another pop was heard.

Looking to her side, and not yet unwrapping her arms from her victim, Seras saw an angry brunette.

"Harry James Potter!" shouted the enraged voice of Daphne. "Who is she? What the hell are you doing?"

AN: And there ends my ideas for this fic.