Back to December

"So, the theme for this week is regret," Mr. Schuster smiled, pulling on his vest. Rachel Berry sighed. Regret was something she knew too much about, not just because she was a diva and listened to Barbra Streisand a lot, but because she regretted a lot of things. She looked out of the corner of her eye and saw Finn laughing with Quinn. She closed her eyes for a second. When she opened them, she saw Mercedes looking at her.

"Is something wrong, Rach?"

"I don't want to do this assignment."

"What?" Mercedes practically yelled. "You love assignments. You love showing everyone how much better you are than them. Isn't that your thing?"

Rachel sighed again. "Well, the thing I regret most right now, besides not going to that singing/talent camp this summer is Finn. But, what good is a song if it is not going to change his mind?"

Mercedes looked at Rachel and instantly felt bad. She was still hooked on Finn, despite the fact he broke up with her and was back with Quinn. And, she knew Rachel was right; she had apologized, sang love songs, sang heartbreak songs, and nothing worked.

"Well, I guess you could sing about the camp thing…"

Rachel stole one more look at Finn and Quinn. She frowned.

"I guess."

After 20 more long minutes of Glee, Mr. Schue decided to let the group go for the day. "Don't forget. REGRET!" he yelled as everyone shuffled out of the classroom. Mercedes fell in pace next to Rachel, as they were walking out to her car. She hated seeing her friend like this. Even though Rachel could be incredibly annoying, a lot of the time, she knew she was a good person.

"Kurt and I are going to the ice cream shop. He wants to catch up on Blaine drama. Do you want to come?"

Rachel nodded and smiled and got into Mercedes' car.

"You don't want to do the assignment? Are you sick?" Kurt exclaimed.

Rachel smiled. "No, I just want to be done with this regret. I mean, I go back to that stupid day where I decided that kissing Puck was a great idea, and I regret it. What more does he want? This stupid project is bothering me!"

Kurt looked thoughtfully at Rachel, taking in her face, which was reflecting sadness, and of course, regret.

"Well, I know you just want to get this assignment over with. Just sing a Taylor Swift song. Hello, all of her songs are about breaking up or regretting something. It's because she has never had a relationship in her life, and would be jealous of me and Blaine's," Kurt smiled brightly, and Rachel couldn't help but smile back.

"Well, we did come here to catch up on you and your love life…so, what happened?"

"Well, he finally…"

As Kurt began to rattle on about Blaine and everything, Rachel started to blank out. Taylor Swift. Kurt had a point. Not the diva with the strongest voice, but her material was perfect for this assignment…

Sitting in Glee the next day, Rachel started to become very nervous. This, of course, was very unlike her. She was barely listening to anyone else's songs, and was shaking by the time Mr. Schuester called her name to present her song assignment for the week. She had decided that right after the song, she would leave the room.

Rachel walked up slowly and nervously, and could feel everyone's eyes on her back. She had never felt this in her life. She hoped she wouldn't throw up.

She turned around and looked at the Glee group. She swallowed and attempted to divert glances at Finn, because that would just make this worse.

"So, Rachel. What is your song choice and why did you choose it?"

"Um. I picked "Back to December" by Taylor Swift. Because…it's…um…a song about regret."

Mr. Schue looked at her and nodded, and by the look on his face was rather confused, but he decided to let it go.

"Ok then. Hit it!"

She began to sing the song, willing herself not to look at Finn. She felt so tense.

"So this is me swallowing my pride,

Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night

And I'd go back to December all the time

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you

Wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right

I go back to December all the time"

She continued to sing; relaxing a bit, but still didn't look at Finn. She didn't want to look at him; she didn't want him to know this song was about him. She was so vulnerable, and she knew it. She continued to sing, and the song came beautifully from her throat, and everyone was staring at her so intently. She they were mesmerized. And, she smiled. She looked at Mercedes, who gave her thumbs up. It was at that moment she looked over at Finn. He was already staring at her, and she made eye contact and sang:

"I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right

And how you held me in your arms that September night,

The first time you ever saw me cry

Maybe this is wishful thinking

Probably mindless dreaming

If we loved again I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't

So if the chain is on your door, I understand"

She saw him swallow and tilt his head, examining her, but she turned back to the rest of the group and finished the song. She kept her eyes locked on Mercedes', afraid to look elsewhere, and beamed.

"Wow! That was great Rachel!" Mr. Schue clapped and congratulated her.

"I…uh, need to use the ladies' room quickly. Be right back!" Rachel sprinted out of the room, running to her locker. She could barely breathe. That was probably the bravest thing she had ever done, and maybe the dumbest. She knew that Santana would be making fun of her, and so would Quinn. She took a deep breath in.

"Hey," said a voice from behind her.

Rachel closed her eyes and swallowed.

"Hi Finn,"

She stood there, with her back to him, not sure if she wanted to look him in the face or not. Finn walked around her and stood in front of her, taking care of that problem, and looked at her.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Was that song for me?"

Rachel forced a smile onto her face. She began to turn around and go back to the music room.

"Rachel!"

She stopped dead in her tracks and turned around and looked at him.

"What Finn?"

"You never answered my question,"

"Obviously, it is about you, Finn. As all of my love songs have been and all of my sad ones."

"Rachel…"

"It doesn't matter, Finn. You're with Quinn."

Rachel walked back to the Glee room, where the group was just getting dismissed for the day.

Mercedes looked at her, and then her eyes shifted to Finn, who followed Rachel in and who was staring at her.

"Ok, what was that about? You sing some T. Swift, and Finn basically runs out the door. What gives?"

"He asked if that song was about him,"

"Hello! Obviously! How stupid!" Mercedes said.

Rachel laughed a bit.

"You're right."

They walked arm and arm out the door to the parking lot.

Finn stared after Rachel walking away. He knew that song was for him, he just wanted to hear it coming from her mouth. She had apologized hundreds of times, tried so many different ways to get back with him, and was heartbroken once she found out that he was still in love with Quinn. Quinn came up to him and put her hand on his arm.

"Hey sweetie. What's wrong? You look confused,"

He looked down at Quinn. She was pretty and they had always had fun together. Did he feel fireworks when they kissed? Sure. But, she kept giving him the run around. First, it was Puck. Then, it was Sam. Then, it was him. Then, it was Sam. Then, it was him…she was never constant in her affections. She would lead him on with kisses and whispers, and then dump him when Sam sang the right song or she felt that she was meant to be with Sam (well, until she was meant to be with Finn again.)

"Quinn. I can't do this anymore,"

Quinn looked up at her boyfriend with big, hurt eyes. Her mouth kept trying to form words, but none came out.

"What? What do you mean?"

Finn looked over her head, at the wall, trying to figure out the right way to put the words.

"You and me, we are fun. We always have fun. But, you always dump me randomly or cheat on me."

"Oh ok. Do you not remember me cheating on Sam with you? Or, did you just forget that?" Quinn shook her head, amazed that this was happening.

"I do. But, would I say we are devoted to each other? No."

Quinn looked at Finn in the eyes, searching for an answer. She tilted her head.

"This is about Rachel and her stupid song."

This time Finn was at a loss for words. He bit his lip as he tried to devise an answer, but none came to his head.

"I knew it. I knew you still liked her. Like I said before, when you're not staring at me, you're staring at her."

"And when you're leaning on my shoulder, you're staring at Sam."

Quinn took a deep breath. She smiled a bit.

"I can't say you're not right."

He smiled back. "I can't say you're not right, either."

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek.

"Well, good luck, I guess."

She grabbed her bag and walked out the door, leaving Finn in the choir room all by himself. He needed to figure out a way to tell Rachel how he felt.