Every Moment

Disclaimer: I don't own glee. :(

AN: Just something that wrote itself. It turns a little darker at the end but I personally view it as a positive fic so don't be too saddened by it! Unfortunately I've been too out of my brain the last few days to really reread what I've written so I apologize in advance for any dramatically horrifying errors in the story. I hope it doesn't take away from your reading.

Kurt had his head buried in his soft, beautiful, white pillow ready for a trip to well-deserved land of dreams. The day had been long at work with fashion week coming up and his interns being nothing more than moronic. Thank goodness the day's frustration had been eased away by a nice long massage and other delightful activates that left him content and tired.

He would have been happy to instantly drift off into sleep and usually it happens within seconds when he felt this tired.

However, today was apparently going to be one of those days.

He decided to give his boyfriend a moment and waited with his head pressed against his soft, cool pillow breathing shallowly into the cloth. However, it seemed the other man was going to take a while which would have been find if it wasn't so irritating in so many ways. He could almost hear the clock ticking reminded him of each second passing which certainly began to eat away at his patience (not that he had much of that anyways).

"Ugh!" he finally groaned a muffled sound into his pillow.

Kurt felt his muscles bunch up in a sudden spurt of energy that had been building up for the last few seconds. He pushed himself up slightly, rolled to one side to pull his pillow from under his head and throw the soft object at the man besides him.

"Blaine, shut up!"

He felt the bed mood in a sudden moment and satisfying "Oomph" from besides him which caused Kurt to open his eyes to witness an amusingly surprised expression on his boyfriend's face after the man apparently deflected the pillow with hands that were still in a defensive posture.

"Ow! What did I do?" Noticing his boyfriend had leaned forwards to retrieve the pillow that flew half-way across the bed as he spoke; Kurt took the opportunity to grab the pillow on Blaine's side behind the man with a hard tug which made his lover shift slightly in surprise. Kurt buried his head back into this new pillow although it was quite flat and much less satisfactory than his own.

"Will you stop thinking so loud? Can you please turn off your brain for just 10 minutes?" Kurt muttered into the pillow in irritation. He waited for a moment and met only silence. Then after a small amount of time had passed, he realized Blaine still had not answered. Frowning, he looked up to see Blaine staring at him in that annoying looking-through-because-he-was-too-much-in-thought blank expression.

"Ugh!" Kurt cried again as he finally propelled himself from his position on the bed to throw the stolen pillow over its owner's head and rolling on the other man.

"Kurt-what-umph," was all that was heard from the dark-haired man before he disappeared under the white pillow. Kurt felt his boyfriend's arm snake around his waist and before he could react Kurt let out a high squeal/laughter as he tried now to propel himself away from Blaine's hands tickling him through his pjs. Kurt rolled to the other side of the bed and held out his hands to keep his boyfriend at bay. This gave Blaine enough time and room to toss the pillow away from his face and move over to his boyfriend.

"No!" Kurt cried in a mist of amusement and delight as he felt the bed shift as more weight was pressed now onto his side of the bed.

"Come here, you naughty boy," Blaine chided with a smooth, calm tone that made Kurt shutter in pleasure. Blaine grabbed both of Kurt's hands into his and pulled the pair of appendages along with its owner's body towards his chest. Kurt reluctantly let his boyfriend pull him over but shrunk into the sheets with suspicion and a playful smile.

Ignoring the other man's weak struggles, Blaine pulled both hands into one of his own so he could use his other hand to skin across Kurt's side as a warning.

"No!" Kurt cried again struggling against the soft tickles administered to him now. His stomach was bubbling with a delight mixture of fear and anticipation. He laughed and pressed his head against his hands in attempt to pull the rest of his body mainly his side away from the merciless tickles.

Blaine allowed Kurt to escape his hand since his other grip on boy of Kurt's wrists was slowly slipping. Instead the man now brought both of the hands at his mercy above the man's head. He looked down at wondering blue-green eyes shimmering at him with endless love.

For some reason, the tones of Blaine's mood seem to change. Kurt could almost feel it through his boyfriend's dark eyes.

"Blaine," He whispered intimately up towards the other man in a slightly worried, slightly questioning tone. He yearned to touch the older man and bring Blaine back from whatever was causing that thoughtful, far-away expression. He tugged at his hands which were still trapped under Blaine's grip but to no avail. However, Kurt was not bothered by it. He trusted Blaine with more than his life and so he relaxed his body fully and waited, not sure what Blaine was doing or wanted.

Blaine's dark eyes dragged over his boyfriend's form. It was not the heated, wanting gaze that Kurt was accustomed to and understood. Instead, this gaze seemed thoughtful as though he was trying to figure out something, trying to solve a difficult question. He finally let One of Kurt's hands go. Slowly, Blaine used his free hand and brushed the back of it against Kurt's pale, soft, perfect face.

"Blaine?" Kurt tried again and finally managed to pull his other arm also out of his lover's grip. He placed a hand over the one Blaine had placed on his cheek. "What's wrong?"

That seemed to shake the man out of it and Blaine smiled down to Kurt. "It's nothing. Sorry." He leaned forwards and gave Kurt a light, quick peck on the lips before shifting himself off his boyfriend and started to retrieve their pillows.

Kurt's brows twitched in irritation. Kurt knew that smile. It was the one Blaine used when he was hiding something.

It was Kurt's turn. He shoved his boyfriend causing Blaine to be surprised yet again. Kurt easily succeeded in flopping Blaine onto his back onto the other side of the bed. "It's not nothing." There was a tight stubborn line on his lips as he stared down at his boyfriend, demanding an answer.

Blaine looked quietly into Kurt's beautiful eyes. "Kurt." He reached up to trace the man's face fondly as he spoke. He smiled softly, "I'm scared."

That certainly caught to counter-tenor off guard. He shifted back and let his expression turn to one of confusion. Blaine doesn't get scared, or not like this at least. There was a type of vulnerability that seems to miss-placed on Blaine's strong, confidence face. "Of what?"

Blaine shook his head as he traced a hand over Kurt's arm in admiration. His boyfriend was so beautiful, so perfect. He could understand why 'porcelain' has been his nickname in high school.

Kurt frowned and he felt his arm start to ache from holding his body up. He leaned down to rest his head and ear against Blaine's chest and listened to the strong heart-beat beneath the hot flesh. "Of what, Blaine?" Kurt asked again in a soft voice as the rhythmic beats of Blaine's heart pulled a hazy ease over him.

Kurt felt a hand slide through his locks and play with the perfectly conditioned and maintained strands. The very well-sculpted chest beneath his cheek rumbled softly as its owner spoke. "Of losing you." Kurt looked up just in time to be greeted by conflicted dark chocolate eyes flickering with a deep worry mixed with unconditional love. He felt a hand tug at him insistently which he complied with and slowly snaked his way up his boyfriend's body, sliding a quiet hand over bare flesh on the way there.

Blaine sucked in a breath, delighted by the feel the exploring hands against his sensitive flesh. He pulled at the other man's arm more insistently until Kurt was face to face with him and he brought Kurt's lips towards his own with a guiding hand. His fingers slipped behind the other man's skull and entwined in silky hair. He heard a purr of pleasure from Kurt which, as it had since they first time they kissed, made his chest catch a coil of bitter sweet emotion. Hot lips pressed together, melting against one another as raw emotion rocked into the slow but insistent clash of lips and tongue.

Kurt gently pulled away and he smiled when he felt Blaine attempt to follow. However, if his boyfriend thinks he's going to get away distracting him, he had another thing coming.

But apparently he didn't have to pry since Blaine continued, "I can't live without you."

Kurt's eyes fluttered for a moment, blinking back a rush of emotion and tears. A soft frown touched his face, a rare sight for a giddy diva like himself. He absentmindedly traced an intimate hand over Blaine's chest. "You seemed to have been doing fine before I came along." He tried at a playful smile.

However, that seemed to just spur Blaine on more. The man suddenly grabbed distracting hand before him and tugged lightly so that Kurt was forced to look at him fully as Blaine sat himself up. "That's just it. I wasn't anywhere near living back then. I merely existed. I—" His voice seemed to break for a moment but he frantically pushed forwards, "—I can't go back to that knowing what I know now—knowing this," he reached forwards to touch Kurt like he was a fragment of his imagination one small wisp away from vanishing, "knowing you—knowing us."

Emotions rolled from being touched to worry. Kurt allowed Blaine to grip his hand in a near-painful grasp while he tried to understand why Blaine was unraveling at a blinding pace before him and, more importantly, what he was supposed to do about it? Despite having been with Blaine for more than four years now, he had ever seen the man so vulnerable. Something must have happened.

Kurt grabbed the hand attempting to cut off circulation in his arm and he shook Blaine gently, trying to get the other man's attention. "Blaine, what happened?"

Blaine leaned his head forwards, against Kurt's chest. He then encloses his arms around the slender body before him and loosely draped himself around his boyfriend, allowing himself to listen to the clear soft breaths escaping the man's lips. He felt his body shift with the rise and fall of Kurt's chest. "I saw Karofsky today."

Kurt froze at the words that fluttered out under the mass of dark hair. He tried to push Blaine away so he could look at the other man; however, his lover merely tightened his grip, unwilling to move. Insane scenarios played like a bad movie in his mind. Karofsky brought old wound back, brought memories of high school, memories of a place he had long forgotten. "What did he do? Did he hurt you?" Kurt ask frantically, trying to push his boyfriend away from his body again and this time, Blaine allowed it.

As eye met, Blaine continued in a detached tone as though recounting a boring evening at work. "We talked." Kurt looked at him with a sharp, alarmed expression as Blaine's eyes shifted away in a distracted manner. "He was different." A bitterly ironic smile twisted on his lips. "He wasn't conflicted anymore, that's for sure."

Kurt's eyes fluttered across Blaine's face, trying to see the end point before it was voice perhaps so he could better prepare for what madness he knew was to come.

Finally, Blaine met Kurt's eyes. "Apparently he found someone he cared about, a bartender in the city."

Kurt resisted raising an eyebrow at the information. The idea of Karofsky coming out of the closet itself was startling news. However, from Blaine's appearance and tone, that was not even the beginning of the story.

"A lot of shit happened against them but they were planning on moving somewhere quiet… somewhere in California…. But they-they found his body sitting in his car," Blaine ran his hand through his hair anxiously, "If only you had seen him when he talked about it. It was like someone had gutted him and left a shell of a man behind. It was like-" Blaine merely shook he head and pressed a hand again his head.

Kurt's breath hitched and he tried to process the information. "Was he… did he?"

Blaine nodded shallowly as he watched his boyfriend with weary eyes.

Kurt shook his head. "That's not us. I'm not like that. I would never leave you like that."

He touched Kurt fondly. He wouldn't tell him that the man was violated and beaten before the incident or that the perpetrators were caught and showed no shame in having made a 'fag' kill himself.

"I can't live without you, Kurt."

"You can. I know you can but you won't have to if I have any say," Kurt now moved to straddle Blaine and pressed his head against his. "Now, stop it." He closed his eyes. "I want every moment with you to be good so that if anything happens, I will look back and remember this," he pressed his hand against Blaine's chest, "and nothing else. And you will too because you'll remember and know I will always love you, Blaine Anderson."

"I love you, Kurt."

AN: I might continue it if it is well-received. I have some ideas rolling around in my head. But for the most part, it was merely intended to be a short one-shot. Thanks for reading and I hope you find time to review!