And stay together they did, for longer than Deb had expected. Castiel wasn't around all the time, sometimes he would be called away, although he never explained to her who had called him. He would always return though, preceded by the soft rushing of the air around his wings, and during these times they would sit and talk.

At once such time, she was sitting on the porch of the cottage he had brought her to after the final fight. She had closed her eyes and was bathing in the sweet scent of the wildflowers growing in the fields beyond the yard. He took a seat in the chair opposite her, and smiled slightly, "I felt so many different emotions, you know. When we found you, after Lucifer killed you. I remember that I asked you what it felt like to lose someone, and you said you couldn't tell me. I'm not sure anything you said could have prepared me for it."

She remembered the conversation he was referring to, her back pressed against the truck as they waited for the moment when she and Sam would confront Lucifer. As scared as she'd been, part of her had still believed she would come back. She had not wanted to talk to Cas about how it feels to lose someone because she had convinced herself she wasn't going to die. Deb looked out at the fields surrounding them, "I think it feels different for everyone. Depending on who you lose, and the….type of relationship you had with them. " She had hoped that her voice would sound wise, like she was an authority on loss, but sitting here now next to Castiel she felt like a child. "What did it feel like?"

Castiel nodded, once, "I felt like piece of me was gone. A large piece of me, a part I couldn't physically function without. Everything felt harder in that moment that we found you. Walking around, breathing, talking, and obviously it was difficult to find the energy to confront Lucifer."

"How did you do it?"

"It wasn't too difficult. You remember I said that I felt a lot of different emotions. One of those was anger. I was…..furious with you."

Deb frowned, chewed her bottom lip, "Angry with me?"

"For dying. For not returning like you said you would. We talked about it beforehand. You were going to return and we were going to go away together and find a …..a room with a door that locked."

He glanced at her as said that final part and Deb felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment. They had avoided the topic of their sexual relationship since Castiel had brought her back. To Deb, it somehow seemed inappropriate to speak about it, what with him being an actual angel again. Until now Castiel had never mentioned it either.

He looked back down at the ground, "So, when the time came to face Lucifer, I used that anger. It made things easier."

"And are you still angry?" She looked at him solemnly, tried to get him to meet her gaze but failed.

He stood up, sighing, "Not really. I'm glad things turned out as they did. Although I am….my old self again and my desire to serve my father is the strongest it has ever been….." His voice faded away, "I have to go, Deb. We can talk more later."

She reached out a hand, grasped the sleeve of his jacket, "Finish what you were about to say. Please."

He frowned, "Much of the emotion I felt during the time I was human has gone, been consumed by my duty to heaven, my love for my father and my remaining brothers and sisters. But, there is still a little that remains, particularly when I look at you." He shook his head, "There's still a part of me that is angry that things can't be how they were." And he was gone then, the breeze hitting her face softly as his wings moved the air around them.

….

On another occasion when Castiel returned, Deb was busying herself by tidying up. It was what she always did when she was bored, or upset, or angry. She could usually lose herself in mindless tasks like washing dishes, or sweeping the floor and now was no exception. Moving to sweep under the counter Deb managed to disturb a cluster of dust that she must have missed the last few times she'd cleaned and sneezed as it floated around her. When he appeared in the middle of the kitchen, she put the brush down and moved to put her arms around him. He didn't stop her, but instinctively wrapped his arms around her. She stayed that way for a while, but somehow it didn't feel the same as before. She pulled back, sat down at the table and waited for him to take a seat opposite. "How is everyone?"

"They are fine, as well as could be expected, given the circumstances perhaps better."

Deb nodded, traced her finger over a knot in the wood of the table, "Dean?"

Castiel smiled, "Dean is very well, better than he ever has been in some respects. He has a normal life now. He's with Lisa and Ben." He stopped, looked up and closed his eyes, "When we found you, we fought. He accused me of not really caring for you, and I hit him. He hit me back." Castiel shook his head, "He was devastated. I didn't think he would ever be able to forget."

Deb frowned, "You mean he doesn't know? You haven't told him I'm alive?"

Castiel shook his head, "I haven't seen him. It's what you wanted, what Sam wanted, for Dean to get out. For him to have a normal life. If he knew you were still alive…"

She sighed and nodded, "That makes sense. But, it feels strange. I mean…. I can't stay here forever, can I? Where will I go when I need to go back? Who do I go to?"

"Bobby."

Deb smiled, "Bobby's alive? I can't believe we all made it!" She lowered her head, "Most of us anyway." Castiel simply looked at her, waiting for her to go on. "How is Bobby?"

The angel blinked and shrugged, "Pretty much how you remember him. Still hunting."

She held her hand up, "Wait a minute, still hunting? Why? I mean, we stopped it, the apocalypse. Or, well, Dean, Sam and you stopped it… Why does anyone still need to hunt?"

Castiel shrugged again, "You were hunting long before you met me, long before Lucifer escaped from his cage. What makes you think that just because we stopped the apocalypse that means no more monsters, no more demons, no more….things that need to be killed?"

She raised her eyebrows, "Yeah. Wishful thinking, I guess." She looked at him, "So, you want me to go back to that? To hunting?"

The angel stood up, and she knew then that he had to leave again, "It's what I would advise. But, it's your choice. I haven't seen Bobby either or at least I haven't spoken to him. He doesn't know you're alive. You can go your own way; make a different life for yourself. It's up to you."

…

The final time, when Deb believed that she'd been living in the cottage for about six months, Castiel found her wandering around in the fields and woodland surrounding the house. The spot reminded her of the woods she'd played in with Dean and Sam as a child. The woods where Dean had taught her to shoot and where Sam had taught her to fish. And where Dean had taught her to fight; her reward for initially sucking had been a collection of bruises in different variations of the colour purple. His reward for being such a good teacher had been the same. She liked these woods; they helped remind her that there were good things to go back to. She looked up at Castiel, "It's time?"

He nodded, "It's time. Are you ready?"

She looked at her feet, "Yes, I want to go and see Bobby. But, Cas….." She frowned, chewed her lip again, "What about you? I mean, I haven't asked you anything about where you've been going all this time, what you've been doing, what's happening in Heaven. When I go back, will I still see you?"

Castiel shook his head, "Eventually maybe. Not for a while though. The situation in Heaven is….complicated. I am needed here more than you will need me down there."

"And, I know you said that things couldn't be the same between us now, but, is that forever? I mean, will you always feel like that?" She wrapped her arms around her tightly, dreading the answer. When it came it was disappointing, but all the more cruel for offering her what she believed to be a glimmer of hope.

"I truly don't know, Deb. Just know that I care for you, and I will always be there if you need me. I didn't bring you back to hurt you. I brought you back because….it was what I wanted to do. That shouldn't even have been an option for me. We generally don't get to do things because we want to, and yet I did. That means something; I just don't know what yet."

She smiled and nodded, "Fine. Thank you. I'm ready." A touch on the forehead and she was standing on a familiar driveway. Rusty cars were piled up along the stretch of yard in front of the house and they creaked as the wind rushed through them. The smell of motor oil and twisted metal quickly, instantly, told her she was home. She took a deep breath, began to walk up the path, staring at the tiny dark windows as she went, wondering whether Bobby had spotted her and was, even now, stockpiling a collection of items he could use to test out what she was. Probably. The old boards creaked in all the places she remembered as she stepped onto them, walked towards the door and, quashing her instinct to just barge in shouting, "Bobby, I'm home!" as she would have done just six months ago, she reached up and knocked.