Author's notes:

CRAAAAAAACK

This is soooooo cracky its rubble~

:(

This is for Cara, my luvable lovely, who is doing a crack fic as well~

Anyway, this will make your brain explode if you think to hard about this, so try not to think about it.

In fact, just…just close this now.

Hit the little exit button, or close the whole window!

I don't want people to be injured because of my horridness in actually agreeing to write this.

It's not even funny. It's just a "Wha...?" Kinda story. So, you are warned.

Just….try not to hate me for doing this, everyone…

Disclaimer: I don't own anything (Nor do I want to own this fanfic, but its here anyway…)

"Excuse me, this is your pilot speaking. Uhhhh...We have just entered a wind turbine and uhhhh...We have no control over the plane, so uhhhhh...Please fasten your seatbelts and uhhhh...return your seats to the upright position. Thank you for uhhhh...Flying with Air Russia today, and hope you have uhhhhhh...a pleasant day. Thank you..."

The screams erupted from the plane as it lowered itself level with a mountain that seemed to move around. The mountain suddenly turned, showing a pleasant yet chilling face.

"Look, scarf. Food! That is nice, da?"

The mountain's scarf drew itself up, a large mouth frowning at the uncontrollable plane.

"It's takin' to long!"

"Be patient, da? It is about to come to us." Mountain!Russia chided, grinning emotionlessly at the plane as it crashed into his side, where the scarf proceeded to eat the plane.

"Anything else you need, scarf?" Mountain!Russia asked the munching scarf. It swallowed and looked up, frowning once more.

"Soup!"

Latvia peeked around the corner, afraid of the silence in Russia's house. His older 'brothers' had long since fled, though LAtvia had been asleep, and unaware. He then froze, as footsteps slowly made their way towards him. He turned, about to scream as China's scared face suddenly appeared.

"AAAHHHHH!" They both screamed, each taking a couple of steps back.

"C-china, sir? Wh-what are you doing here?" Latvia asked, earning a glare from the much older asian nation.

"I came to look for Russia, but he is not here-aru! Unless he is hiding..." China shivered, obviously aware of the horrors Russia could unleash upon them both.

"We s-should try and get away! It's never good if Russia-sir is sneaking around..."

"Kolkolkol~"

"RUNNN!" They both screamed, taking off in a quick sprint, trying to navigate themselves to the front door.

As they clammered down the stairs, they saw the door, open and welcoming, like angels had led them there.

"KOLKOLKOL~"

They both turned slowly, to see Russia standing there, smiling happily at the two of them.

Crap.

Latvia and China tried to make it to the door, but Russia's scarf wrapped around china's ankle, tripping him to the floor. Latvia wanted to help, but being stuck with Russia was out of the question.

"I'm sorry, China-sir!" Latvia cried, racing out of the house as quickly as he could, turning to see China being pulled into the darkness, the door closing slowly until it clicked shut.

Latvia stared at the door, leting a large smile spread across his face.

"It wasn't me this time! THANK YOU!" He cried. Latvia then paused, hearing something crunching the gravel behind him.

When he turned, things got a bit sexier.

"Well-a hey thar, little baby..." Sealand said, as he chewed on a lollipop stick. He had his hair greased back, with biker shades on, no shirt, and leather pants and shoes.

On a tricycle.

"Wowee, Sealand! That's a swell ride!" Latvia exclaimed, skipping over to his friend. Sealand raised an eyebrow and grinned, pointing at Latvia with his hand shaped like a gun.

"It sure is, baby. Wanna ride?"

"Would I ever!" Latvia said, happily jumping on behind Sealand. "Can I hold onto you?"

"Only if you promise to never let go, uh-huh-huh~" Sealand answered, spitting out the lollipop stick and took off, happily pedaling his 'hotrod'.

"Oh, Sealand, this is so cool!"

"Yea, I know. It's pretty tight. You wanna juice box, compadre?" Sealand asked.

"Oh, do I! You're the best!" Latvia said.

And as they rode into the sunset, the tricycle lifted up, and they flew into the sky.

Author's End Notes:

Please, don't hate me.

This is horrible...

I need to write something good now...

/goes to write something decent/

For once, Reviews would be the last thing i need on this.

I don't want proof people read this... /sob/