I'm not a gambling man. I'm not. I used to be, but I stopped. I beat it so I could be better for her.

But then, I thought she was the biggest gamble of all. The bet to beat all other bets. So, I put my heart on the line, and threw the dice.

And I lost. Because she didn't want me. Even though she knew that I loved her, she didn't want to give us a chance. And I took it. I swallowed my pride, and I let her go. Because I swore to myself that I was done gambling. That I never won, so I was done.

But then, I went overseas, and I met Hannah.

Hannah, who is beautiful, and funny, and understands how much Bones means to me as my partner. Hannah, who loves Bones.

It was perfect, and I was happy, and then Sweets had to tell me that he didn't want to end up like me. He didn't want to end up in my situation. And I realized that he was right. That something had to change. I had to change, and since Hannah already lived with me, there was only one logical option.

We were in love, it was time to get married. Because she knew me, maybe she didn't know me the way Bones does, but she knew me enough to know what I had to offer.

And I offered her everything I had, and about a year's salary in that diamond ring. And she said no.

She said she wasn't the marrying kind. She said we weren't over, but we were. The minute she said no, we were over. Because you can't go back from that. You can't go back no matter how hard you try.

And then of all the people in the world she had to call, she had to call Bones. Bones, my partner. The woman that I loved before Hannah, the one that turned me down because she couldn't give me what I needed. Because I was asking for more than she could give me. It was too much.

And suddenly she wanted options. Stay or go. Those were the options. They weren't complicated. She could stay and drink, or she could go, and we were done. Because you can't go back. I'm tired of pretending that things never happened. I'm tired of pretending not to be angry that I gave her everything I had, and she threw it away. And then when I found love again, she wanted to talk about regrets. Well, I wasn't having that. I loved Hannah. She wasn't a rebound, she was amazing, and I loved her.

But suddenly, Bones wanted options. I don't even know what other option there is. I can't talk to her about Hannah. It's too hard. Too fresh. Too reminiscent of us. I wouldn't go down that road.

She stayed. I'm not even sure if I wanted her to. But she stayed, so I ordered another round.

My dad was a drunk. He was a mean drunk that seemed to think hurting people was a hobby. But I'm not him. I put bad guys behind bars. Bones and I put bad guys behind bars. I'm not a bad guy. So what is wrong with me that no one wants to be with me? Why isn't my love enough when I offer it? Why is it that women think it's never over, just over for now? My heart doesn't just switch on and off at their command. I'm a good guy. I have a respectable career. I have friends. I have morals. I have respect for women. I would never purposely hurt anyone.

I'm a good man, yet my dad managed to get someone to marry him, and I never have. There is something very wrong about that. Something I don't understand. Of course, Bones wanted to explain it to me. I didn't want to hear about anthropology though. And I definitely don't want to hear about how she loves me too, but she's not the marrying kind either. Why is it that no one I fall in love with is the "marrying kind"?

I take five more shots before I even attempt to speak again. I don't really want to make small talk, but Bones looks at a complete loss at what to do, so I feel compelled to say something. Even though I'm pretty certain it's a terrible idea. Talking just makes me sound bitter and crazy. While I am definitely bitter, I am not crazy. I am just scorned. People get killed all of the time for things a lot less important than turning down a proposal, so I am entitled to my rage. To my rage at Hannah and Bones.

"You don't have to stay, Bones." I sigh, guilt eventually hitting me for forcing her to drink. Just because I'm going to be suffering in the morning doesn't mean she has to. One of us have to be able to keep it together if we get a case. Although, I'm hoping we don't have one for awhile. Not that I'm ever that lucky. Knowing my luck, my phone is about to ring. I ignore the impulse to check. I'm in no condition to be at a crime scene. At least not the cop at a crime scene. Besides, if Hannah has called me, I don't want to know.

"I'm staying, Booth." She insists, and I don't have the heart to argue with her. We're partners. We take care of each other. I'm not about to tell her otherwise. Even if I am bitter. The bartender comes back over, but I wave him off. I don''t think I can take anymore. I cringe as she places a hand over mine. There'd been a time when these moments were the highlights of my days, but I can't enjoy it tonight. "I think you need food. Come on, Booth. Let's go." She places her other hand on my back as she helps me up, and I'm grateful when she's polite enough not to notice my stumble when I stand. I hand over my credit card to the bartender as Bones attempts to keep me standing. Which I can say with a good bit of certainty is not an easy task.

"Thanks Jack!" I force a smile as I sign the tab. I try not to look at the total amount. I will just ride it off as a mistaken purchase, much like the non-returnable ring I threw into the fountain. Both cost me a fortune.

"Take care, Agent Booth." He nods at me, and I want to yell at him that he doesn't know me, so I don't need his pity. It is not his job to pity me. Damn him. I keep silent though, because even I know that he doesn't deserve my bark. Bones, maybe, but not him.

"Bones?" I pout as she walks me to the curb. I'm not exactly ecstatic about leaving both of our cars, but I don't really have much choice in the matter, so I stay silent as she attempts to hail a cab. I can feel the wind blowing against my face, but I try to ignore it the same way I try to pretend that this doesn't remind me of a night years ago when I first confessed my gambling addiction to Bones. The first time we kissed before she disappeared into the night. Like she's probably about to do again.

"Yeah, Booth?" She meets my gaze as the cab pulls right in front of us. I pause for a moment to make sure she isn't about to jump in and leave me stranded, but I know that she won't. Things have changed since that night. We are partners now. Time has been invested. She cares about me now. Hell, she might even love me. Whatever that means anymore. Hell if I know.

"I'm done gambling." I nod to myself as I open the door to let her slide in. I watch her face for some sign of what she's thinking, but there's nothing there to give her away. Or maybe I'm just too drunk to read her. I'm not sure.

"I know." She nods, sliding all the way in so I can follow her. I lay my head back against the seat as I listen to her rattle off her address. I want to argue that I just want to be alone, but again I can't muster the energy to argue when she inevitably disagrees with me, so I stay silent. Besides, I don't know how long it's going to take Hannah to pack up the few things she owns. I should have known she wasn't going to stick around. She packed too light. She made no roots. I don't need another run-in with her. Not tonight. Not ever. She might not think we are done, but we are. She might not be the marrying kind, but I am. I'll be damned if I go down this road again. I'll. Be. Damned.

"Thanks, Bones." I smile as my neck rolls to look at her. Bones. It's a funny name when you think about it. Booooooones. She would laugh with me if I tried, but I just stare at her instead.

"We're partners. Nothing to thank me for." She nods, but I know that she wants to say more.

"You saved me again." She matches my smile this time, and I feel better as I close my eyes. I can feel myself dosing off, but not before she responds.

"We're the center, remember? The center must hold." I am almost certain she's crying, but I give into the haze instead. The alcohol is much too strong to fight.

–

I haven't decided if I'm continuing it. Let me know if I should, please! Thanks!