It's a bit longer than these one-shots typically are, though I hope you enjoy! Master Roshi really does use Eau d'Orange in Dragon Ball, but instead of using it to impress an android girlfriend, he uses it to cover up his scent when Goku's trying to smell out whether Jackie Chun is the older master or not. Krillin's a little mean in this, though I've always thought of Krillin as having a bit of an edgy spirit, and he never seems to turn down the opportunity to pick on a certain fat swordsman.

Problem Eight: Bald Men

"Hey, look, I'm Yajirobe!"

On the other side of the conservatory filled with a variety of flora and fauna located in the heart of Capsule Corp., a certain bald man had his face squished together by placing his hands on either cheek, purposely making his features rather flabby and malformed. And the real Yajirobe could only glare, glowering on the other side and trying to ignore Krillin. But he couldn't keep his ears from picking up the imposter's impersonation as he continued, making his voice huskier, "I'm Yajirobe, and I'm going to turn against all of my friends to save my own hide!"

There were a few scattered rounds of laughter, everybody knowing that Krillin's impression of the fat man was as true as the sun was bright. But even they had gotten tired of this joke, as Krillin found the need to bring up his cowardliness every time Bulma held a get-together for all of the Z Fighters and their families.

Yajirobe ignored his banter in hopes that the bald man would find somebody else to pick on, but to no surprise, there was nobody else that Krillin found himself able to pick on. Most of the bald man's friends were stronger than him and thus would likely take the liberty to beat him up, teaching him to never make fools of them again. And Krillin would normally have felt fine with making jokes about Goku, his one friend that he was certain wouldn't take out his anger on him, but Goku was dead. And even Krillin had boundaries set, deciding that making fun of the deceased was one of them. So the bald man contented himself by making fun of one man he knew couldn't retaliate, and that was Yajirobe.

Yajirobe growled, placing his hand carefully on the hilt of his katana as Krillin began again, "I'm Yajirobe, and I love Vegeta! 'Can I join your side, Mr. Vegeta? Can I brush your tail? Can I kiss your feet? Can-" But before Yajirobe could storm across the large room and lash out at him, Krillin stifled his words. In came the Prince of Saiyans through one of the many doors, and though he seemed to be considerably less dangerous after those matters with the Cell Games, Krillin still didn't want to be the one to incite his wrath. And so Yajirobe withdrew himself to the corner once more, watching Vegeta as he strode across the room and towards the large buffet table, set up with enough food for several Saiyans to get their fill on.

But even the prince's arrival wasn't enough to keep that jabbermouth from going on, and Yajirobe flinched as Krillin started with jokes about him, actually getting Yamcha to laugh. "Hey, how many Yajirobes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Doesn't matter 'cause it's impossible! That would actually require effort!" Some hearty chuckles resounded from the two of them, Yajirobe's disliking the two of them immensely at that moment. "Yajirobe eats so much that we're still all waiting for him to go Super Saiyan!"

And he only folded his flabby arms together indignantly and turned away, suppressing his rage. He was surprised, after having blocked out all sounds of Krillin's annoying jabs for the past few minutes, to hear a raspy voice growl, "You pathetic fool!" Yajirobe turned around, stunned to find the midget Saiyan whose tail he had cut off so long ago standing just before him, his arms also crossed irritably. He stood in his Saiyan armor, his signature scowl on his face as he said, "Have you no pride? I can hear Cueball over there discussing matters concerning yourself, and you lack the dignity to end such talk?"

In all honesty, Yajirobe was a coward, though he called it being smart enough to stay out of trouble. He didn't really want to stand up to Krillin, not when he knew that even that runt could beat him up after having not trained in years. But Krillin didn't scare him at all compared to this enormous force packed into a tiny package standing just before him, leering at him dangerously. Yajirobe backed away as the Saiyan Prince stepped forth threateningly, a gloved fist held in the air as he continued, "If you don't show him just what you're made of, I'm going to show you exactly what I'm made of." And such a challenge was not to be taken lightly, not when it was coming from Vegeta. It was through clenched teeth that the prince asked, "What are you going to do to that filthy cretin?"

Yajirobe mumbled incoherently about how he was going to insult him, though that did not satisfy the rather picky Vegeta. It went so far as to earn a grab by the chest at the prince's hand as he attempted to shake Yajirobe to his senses, repeating with his canine teeth bared menacingly, "What are you going to do to him? You're going to beat him, aren't you?" But before Yajirobe could even reply to this, Vegeta lowered the fat samurai back to his feet, muttering to himself, "No, you're too weak to take him on physically." Then with his voice projected once more, he barked, "What are you better than him at? What do you have that he lacks?"

Now that was a good question, Yajirobe thought. At that moment, it seemed as though Krillin had everything. He was strong, he had a girlfriend, and he sure as heck had a lot more friends than the samurai did, not counting that terrible, white cat back at Korin Tower. He was very short, but admittedly, Yajirobe wasn't the tallest man around either. So he could only contemplate over such a thing, feeling all the more like a loser as he regained balance on his feet. And he didn't feel any better, not with the Saiyan looming over him, making him incredibly nervous. Yajirobe could hardly think, not even able to imagine just why this man was trying to help him.

But Vegeta had his own reasons for helping this poor fool. If he couldn't regain his own pride after having been beaten out by Kakarot's brat in taking down Cell, he could at least live through others, going so far as to help them. Vegeta's idea of help, however, wasn't as kind as that of most people's. No, he pulled Yajirobe back closer to his sharp nose, waiting for ideas of exactly how Yajirobe was indeed better than Cueball to flood his brilliant mind. But there were no such ideas as he growled, realizing that Yajirobe wasn't the best specimen to work with, and Vegeta already had great difficulty in seeing people for their best qualities.

An idea, however, formed in his mind. As opposed to Yajirobe's blank mind trying to get the imbecile along with the basics of breath and food and water, Vegeta's mind was always calculating. And he realized that in order to win this, he would have to think another way. Instead of trying to think of exactly how Yajirobe was better, he had to think of how Krillin was worse. And Vegeta was an expert in this kind of thing.

"You don't have any redeeming qualities, you filthy scum," Vegeta said, and though his words didn't show it, his voice had softened a little. He released Yajirobe from his grip, taking the liberty to point in Krillin's direction in a conspicuous manner so as to draw the bald man's attention. Both Krillin and Yamcha stared at the odd pair in confusion as Vegeta whispered, his voice regaining its graininess, "There's nothing that you're better than him at, but instead of building up that inexistent ego of yours, simply bring his down. It shouldn't be hard, considering he's bald and has no nose."

Yajirobe only blinked as Vegeta pushed him in the direction of the two expectant men, adding with a hiss, "Teach him which of you two is of a higher class."

So Yajirobe gulped a little as he approached Krillin, feeling the Saiyan's watching eyes upon his sweaty back. But as he approached the man whom Vegeta had so blatantly pointed out, he couldn't help but get that throb in his gut that told him this would not end well. It had never been difficult for Yajirobe to see faults in others - a trait that both he and Vegeta seemed to share - but he didn't know if, after all of these years of being so passive about the bald man's insults, he'd be able to finally stand up for himself. Of course, standing up for himself would most definitely be better than the alternative of Vegeta beating the living pulp out of him, and so with no choice, he picked up his pace.

Krillin noticed how the samurai's sluggish crawl transformed into a more powerful stride, with his chubby fists swinging by his sides. And with only one glance back towards the threatening Saiyan, Yajirobe faced him and growled darkly, "You shouldn't talk about me like that." As confused as he was at the moment, Vegeta seemed to have succeeded in pushing him to truly believe that this was his time to put a foot in this matter.

Yamcha stifled his response as he eyed the spectating Vegeta, but Krillin found a lopsided grin on his face as he realized just why Yajirobe had approached the pair of them. "It's not like I'm lying," Krillin replied, placing a hand on his hip and the other in the air for emphasis. He leaned forward smugly and gave an impertinent scoff. "Everybody knows that you're a coward, and I'm surprised that you even decided to come and face me. In fact, I'm surprised you were even close enough to hear me. The snack bar's on the other side of the room, y'know."

The samurai's face reddened, and he pursed his lips together before blurting out, "I couldn't see it with your shiny head in the way!" This caught Krillin off-guard, and the man stepped back upon hearing the sudden outburst.

Yamcha knew this wouldn't fare well for either party, so in an attempt to break up the situation, he held out his hands and said, "Hey, guys, let's not argue about th-"

"My shiny head?" Krillin asked incredulously, baring his teeth before lashing out. "I waxed it just a few nights ago, you dope! It just proves that at least I take care of myself and don't look like I haven't bathed in weeks."

"At least I don't smell like it," Yajirobe retorted. "But you don't have a nose to smell how you stink worse than your sense of humor! What is that stuff? Skunk Perfume?

"It's Eau d'Orange!" the noseless man said, this time a bit defensively. He stepped back again and lifted his arm, giving it a small whiff before glaring at Yajirobe again. "Master Roshi gave it to me, and my girlfriend, something that you don't have and never will have, just happens to love it!"

Yajirobe sneered and said, "I'm sorry that I have enough class not to ask a garbage can out on a date." And he folded his flabby arms, turning his tiny nose to the air as Krillin stared at him, lost for words.

"She... she's not a garbage can!" he stuttered, unable to believe that anybody would describe his Eighteen in such an undignified way. "And you're trying to tell me about class? You're the one that happens to live with a cat who probably uses a litter box! And, from all I know, you're probably not toilet-trained either!"

This set Yajirobe off, and before Yamcha could stop him, he had lunged forth towards Krillin and yelled, "Your head's gonna be toilet-trained after I'm through with you!" He grabbed the short man violently by his arms, shaking all of the arrogance out of his being. But it was only a matter of seconds before Krillin pulled himself from the samurai's grip and staggered backwards, the surprise in his eyes reflected in Yamcha's. He hadn't expected a physical assault, and he held his arms up protectively in case of another attack, though Yajirobe stayed back.

The immature child in still in Krillin urged to fight back, though he decided to withdraw from the situation and simply said, "You're lucky I'm wearing my nicest shirt today. I'd fight, but Eighteen would kill me." Then he stalked off, Yamcha following in an attempt to escape the mad swordsman.

Yajirobe, however, wasn't through. With a hand cupped to his mouth, he called, "At least I'm my own boss and not dumb enough to listen to a woman!" And he pouted as he watched Krillin walk towards the snack bar, though he was most definitely satisfied with the results. He felt assured that Krillin wouldn't try picking on him again, or at least not for a while.

And so he turned around, curious as to whether Vegeta would pound his face in as promised if he didn't handle the situation correctly. But the Saiyan warrior wasn't there. Instead, there was an irritated Bulma with her arms folded across her chest hovered over him, glaring down at him with a look of pure fury contorting her usually pretty facial features.

"Not dumb enough to do what?"