This is a silly little fic I wrote the other day (er, the other month, really) and now I finally thought I might as well post it here. It was written mainly to have a little break, and in truth, the beginning got a little out of hand - the summary was going to be something like "Hikaru's telling a bedtime story and Touya's eavesdropping," which is all this was supposed to be about, but then I started to write about the events leading to the storytelling, and... it got out of hand, as I said.
But anyways, I had fun writing this, so I hope it might amuse someone else, too.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Bedtime Story
"Yeah?"
The exhausted voice at the other end of the line, more a sigh than anything else, gave Touya a short pause.
"Shindou? Did I call at a bad moment? I just wanted to ask about Saturday…"
"Well… a bit… or rather, today's one big bad moment rolled in misery and sprinkled with rotten…hey! Don't climb on the table!"
There came more yelling, laughter, and what sounded like children's voices. Touya waited patiently for Shindou to get order restored and return to the phone.
"Sorry, what was it? Saturday? You mean the – I mean it Yukie, no climbing! – the children's go festival? I'm going there to… oh, you... don't!"
Touya raised his eyes up to the sky, watching a pair of fluffy white clouds float by, as a crash carried to him via the phone lines, and once again yelling took over at the other end.
"What's going on there?" he asked when Shindou was back. "Everything ok?"
"Yeah… mostly… It's just that my aunt's family is visiting and they all left to have fun – shopping and theater and whatever – and left me to look after these two baby-faced monsters…"
"Am not baby-faced!" came a shriek from the background.
"Kenta, what are you – hey, don't bite me you little…! I'll tell your mother if you don't…"
The sound grew muffled, but Touya could still hear a delighted sing-song voice going on and on "Hikaru's a tattletale! Hikaru's a tattletale!"
"It seems to me you lack authority," he stated into the phone, unsure of whether Shindou heard him over the noise, but he did get a short affirmative grunt as a response. "Should I come over?" he asked in a moment of sympathy. "I'm pretty good with children…"
"These two aren't children, they're hell-spawn imps," Shindou muttered. "I sure hope the kids at the festival won't be like this…"
"Certainly not. They play go," Touya pointed out the self-evident. "But should I? I don't have any plans for today, I was just on my way to the go salon. But if you can't make it there today…"
Shindou sighed. "Would you? I could use another pair of hands and eyes here… there is two of them, and just one of me. It's not fair…"
And so Touya found himself half an hour later standing at Shindou's porch and staring down at two children who stared back at him with an evaluative look on their admittedly rather innocent and cute faces.
Shindou stood behind them, looking as exhausted as he had sounded. "These are Kenta and Yukie," he said pointing first at the approximately six-year-old boy and then at the little younger girl who was wearing a pair of tights on her head. "And these are my mom's," he muttered as he snatched the tights away, "so I'll be taking them."
The girl didn't even seem to notice, being quite entranced by the newcomer. Touya gave them a little nod. "Nice to meet you. I'm Touya Akira," he said, but the children just stood there staring at him.
"Come in," Shindou said after a while as nothing happened.
Touya took a step forward, but right then the boy asked, "Are you a girl?" and he stopped on his heels, giving the boy a Look.
"No. I'm not."
"I was just thinking…" The boy went on staring at him with a tilted head. "Cause of your hair. And you're wearing red. Red's a girl color." He pointed at the girl who was nodding eagerly, wearing a dress of similar reddish purple as Touya's sweater.
"For your information," Touya said, a touch of ice in his voice, "I wear whatever color I want to."
"Unfortunately," he heard Shindou mutter, and bit back a retort. There would be enough to do with these two without starting to discipline Shindou as well.
They entered the living room which normally was quite tidy and clean, but now had toys and various other things spread all around. Shindou cleared a part of the couch and told Touya to sit down.
"What did you want to know about Saturday?"
Touya sat down on the couch and eyed the array of dolls, cars, picture books and puzzle pieces. "Your schedule. Are you spending the whole day there? I have my last tutoring game at three, and I was thinking…"
"Gimme!" By now, the fascination of a new face had worn out, and Yukie had suddenly noticed she'd lost her headgear. She made a surge toward Shindou who was still holding the tights, and managed to snatch them away.
"Yukie! Give it back!"
The command had no effect, though, as the girl pulled the tights again on her head and started running in circles, giggling as she watched the room through the thin cloth. As she ran by, Kenta snatched the legs that were swaying behind her and started running after her, smacking every now and then, as if reining a horse.
Touya leaned back on the couch to watch the show as Shindou finally managed to catch a hold of the girl. She gave a loud shriek as he put one arm around her waist and raised her up, trying to take the tights away.
"Let go, let go, letgoletgoletgoooo!"
"You let go! Don't tear it, Yukie!" Shindou snarled. "And stop kicking me!"
Kenta, who was still holding the ends of the legs, ran around them and started tying them into a knot behind Shindou's back.
The boy was laughing, the girl was screaming, and Shindou was yelling at both of them. Touya sighed and shook his head, deciding it was about time to go to rescue.
"All right." He stood up. "Enough."
He used the same tone his father did on those rare occasions he was angry and not hiding it, and all three fell silent at once. He put on what Shindou called the Touya Family's Scary Look, walked quietly to the threesome, and, looking the girl levelly into the eyes took off the tights. Taking his time he folded them and placed them on the arm of the couch. Then he turned back to the three who were still staring at him in complete silence.
"You two," he said looking at the children, and noting with pleasure that the girl had stopped struggling in Shindou's arms and was now instead clinging onto his shirt, "what do you think your parents will say when they return and see this mess?"
"What?" Kenta raised his chin in defiance, not quite ready to give in yet. "Are you going to tell on us, too?"
"Tell? We don't have to tell them anything. They'll be able to figure everything out on their own when they see this. Now… I'd suggest you clean up here before you end up in bad trouble. I trust you know what cleaning up means? Collect all your toys into one place, put everything else where it belongs to, and… when you're done, do something quiet. Like…" he picked up a piece of a puzzle and gave it an estimating look, "a puzzle, for instance. You can check if you have all pieces left."
He nailed his gaze to the boy, narrowing his eyes a little, and saw how all defiance deflated in an instant. "Get started."
"Thanks," Shindou muttered as they sat on the couch and watched the cleaning children.
"You're welcome. You just need to be strict with them."
Shindou snorted. "What do you think I've tried to do? Normally I like kids, but these two… they're beyond impossible."
"Maybe it's because they know you – an angry stranger might be scarier than an angry cousin. Anyway, now that they're quiet… about Saturday."
In the now reigning peace they were finally able to settle their plans, and soon they had moved on to discussing the recent games in the Hon'inbou league. They were just about to work up a fight on whether or not Ashiwara had been correct in resigning at the point when he had, when a hesitant "Sorry, but…" got their attention.
Kenta was standing by the couch, a little freaked out look in his face as suddenly two pairs of flaming eyes turned to him. Yukie peeked timidly from behind his back. "Sorry," he started again, swallowing hard, "but we can't find the last three pieces." He pointed at an unfinished puzzle on the floor.
After the search that commenced one piece was found under the couch cushions, one from a flower pot, and after a while the last was declared gone for good. The two go pros returned to their discussion, though much of the heat had been lost during the search. After a while Shindou went to fetch his go board, and they started a game of their own.
There were not many stones placed on the go board before two midgets appeared by both sides of the board, eying it curiously.
"What are you doing?" Kenta asked.
"Playing go," Touya answered him, at the same time as Shindou shouted, "Don't eat the stones, Yukie! C'mon, spit it out! Not into the bowl, oh yuck…"
Shindou picked the glistening wet stone from his stone bowl and grimaced. "Can't you go back to doing the puzzles?"
"We finished them all already," Kenta said.
"Do something else then! Do you want to watch a DVD?"
"You don't have anything good."
"And how do you know that?"
"We checked."
During the discussion, Kenta hadn't once taken his eyes off the go board. Now he picked a black stone from Touya's bowl and placed it on the board.
"Why do you play go?" he asked.
"Why? What do you mean why? It's the best game ever!"
"Really?" Kenta looked up at him quite dubiously. "How is it played, then?"
Shindou sighed and shooed them off with his hand. "You two just go and..."
"Shindou," Touya cut him off, "If they want to learn go, you shouldn't be chasing them away."
Shindou shot him a glowering look. "They don't want to learn, trust me. They're just being a nuisance, once again."
"We want to learn!" Kenta shouted. "Right, Yukie?"
"Yeah!" the girl agreed quite enthusiastically, and so they finished their game and started to teach the kids the basics.
Five minutes later Kenta had decided that go was way too complicated, not to mention boring – nothing was thrown, hit, or shot, nothing exploded or was otherwise destroyed – and so they ended up playing five-in-a-row, which soon evolved into a game involving play cars, walls made out of domino pieces, and rules which now were too complicated for either Shindou or Touya to follow – in fact, they strongly suspected the rules were made up as the game went on, and usually not in their favor.
Shindou kept on glancing at his watch and finally gave a big, relieved sigh. "Eight pm," he declared. "Bedtime."
"Nooo!" Kenta and Yukie whined with one voice. "One more game!"
"Bedtime," Touya stated matter-of-factly and started picking up the domino pieces from the go board. Kenta glanced at him, bit his lip, and said nothing.
"How do you do that?" Shindou muttered as he guided the children toward the bathroom.
It took still – or only? – half an hour more to actually get the children in bed. Touya waited in the living room for Shindou to come back so that they could resume their game, but as minutes passed by and nothing happened, he left to see if there was any need for another rescue party.
"Not that one!" he heard Kenta's voice as he climbed the stairs to the second floor. "It's such a girly story!"
"I like it..." Yukie said.
"Well, you're a girl, aren't you?"
"Alright, alright, what do you want to hear then! I'm not going to sit here all night, so make up your mind already!"
"Tell us about Hachiko!" That was Yukie.
"Not again!" Kenta sounded exasperated. "You want that story, you can tell it to yourself. You probably know it by heart anyway. I want some action!"
"So, umm..." There was the sound of someone leafing through a book. "Eh, how about Red Riding Hood? There's the wolf and... ok, no... so... there's the Little Mermaid... too long, or Snow White... alright, alright, action, I know... how about the Three Little Pigs?"
"You got to be kidding me... no way!"
"Tell us something new!"
"Yeah!" Kenta sounded actually excited. "Tell us a totally new story!"
Someone, most likely Yukie, was jumping up and down on the bed. "New story, new story!"
"Calm down now!" Shindou yelled. "What do you mean, a new story? You probably know more stories than I do."
"Then come up with one! Dad sometimes does that. He makes up the best stories."
"Ah..." Touya could imagine Shindou rubbing his temples and giving the children a pained look. "Okay, I can try... but don't blame me if you don't like it."
"Yay, a new story!" Yukie shrieked.
"Alright, so once upon a time... Yukie, calm down. Stay in the bed or I won't tell you anything."
Touya smiled and shook his head. Maybe it wouldn't take so long anymore. He turned to go back downstairs, but Shindou's next sentence made him freeze.
"So. Once upon a time there was a great go player called Sai."
"Go player?" Kenta asked. "Why a go player?"
"Why not?"
"That's not cool."
"Not cool? What do you mean, 'not cool'?" Shindou's voice was indignant. "There's nothing as cool as being a great go player!"
"Yeah right..." Kenta sounded bored.
"I want a knight!" Yukie piped up. "Or a prince, and a princess!"
"No princesses!" Kenta shouted. "But knights are cool."
"Yeah, well, whatever!" Shindou gave an exasperated sigh. "So once upon a time there was, eh, a knight called Sai. He was quite young, but he was a brilliant warrior and..."
"Was he handsome?" Yukie put in.
"Sure! He had long black flowing hair and amethyst eyes and..."
"Are you sure he isn't the princess?" Yukie sounded doubtful, and Kenta snorted.
"Shut up. He was handsome, okay? The most handsomest guy ever. And he was so good in go... I mean, with weapons that he was teaching the emperor himself. But the emperor had another teacher, too," Shindou's voice dropped, and he finally held the complete attention of his audience – Touya's he'd had since the beginning. "And this guy was jealous of Sai and his skill. And so he challenged Sai to a duel. And during that duel he cheated. No one noticed but Sai. And when he was about to speak up, this guy blamed him on cheating." Shindou held a pause, and the silence was complete. "Sai lost that duel," he whispered. "And not only that. People thought he'd really tried to cheat to win. He had to leave the palace, and... ummm. He was depressed. As in, really depressed. So depressed, that... eh, he died."
"Died?" said Yukie, great disbelief in her voice.
"What kind of a story is this?" Kenta asked. "If he's the hero how can he die?"
"That's what happened! Now, are you telling this story or am I? Good. Now quiet." Shindou cleared his throat. "Sai's spirit couldn't rest, though. He still wanted to play more... umh, swordplay, you know. So he came to a young boy called Torajiro, and, eh, kind of possessed him... Torajiro didn't mind though! Sai was a really nice guy. And so, as Torajiro, Sai became the best swordsman in the world and..."
"Did he kill that bad guy?" Kenta asked.
"Yeah, what happened to him?" Yukie as well wanted to know. "To the cheater!"
"Eh... well, he lived and died a normal life, I guess..."
"No way!" Kenta yelled, and there was rustle of sheets as someone sat up. "No way! Sai went back to him with Torajiro and killed him!"
"And rescued the princess!"
"What princess?" Shindou tried to ask, but no one paid any attention to him anymore.
"And then he married the princess and became the emperor, cause the bad guy had poisoned the old emperor!" Kenta went on. "And he was a great emperor and general and invaded the whole world!"
"Uh, I don't think Sai would..."
"And they lived happily ever after!" finished Yukie triumphantly.
There was a moment's silence.
"Yeah," Shindou said then, sounding defeated. "Happily ever after... Good night then. Yukie... try to stay in your bed."
Touya gave a start when he heard Shindou getting up, and started to hurry down.
"I'm not sure if that was such a great story," he heard Kenta's voice. Shindou muttered something back, but he couldn't make out the words.
He didn't agree with Kenta, though. What an interesting tale, he thought, still a little dazzled, when he again sat down in the living room. Maybe he should ask Shindou to tell him the go player version.
THE END