Title: The Epic Love Story of Sam and Dean
Author: slf630
Pairing: Dean/Sam, mention of Sam/Ruby, Sam/Cara
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers/Timeframe: Seasons 4 and 5
Disclaimer: It's Kripke's sandbox, I'm just borrowing his toys. I promise to give them back when I'm done. Any dialog from the show belongs to the wonderful people that wrote it.
Warnings: Wincest. past weecest. Language. Bottom!Sam. Bottom!Dean, Angst (not sure that's really a warning- agnst is canon after all)
Summary: A look at Sam and Dean's 'love story'.
A/N: I took certain events from canon and added a Wincesty twist to chronicle their 'relationship'. Alternating POV's. There is a second A/N at the bottom that details what episodes each section is from or based off of (in case it's not clear- I'm pretty sure they are though.) And I shamelessly ripped Sera Gamble off for the title ;)

Beta-ed by the always wonderful and super supportive sakura_no_mi. With out her this never would have seen the light of day.

What'd it cost? Was it just your soul, or was it something worse?

"So tell me, what'd it cost?"

Sam smiled at his brother. "The girl? I don't pay, Dean."

"That's not funny, Sam. To bring me back. What'd it cost? Was it just your soul, or was it something worse?"

"You think I made a deal?"

"That's exactly what we think," Bobby spoke for the first time.

"Well, I didn't."

"Don't lie to me," Dean ordered.

"I'm not lying."

Dean advanced toward Sam. "So what now, I'm off the hook and you're on, is that it? You're some demon's bitch-boy? I didn't want to be saved like this."

Sam stood up, angry. "Look, Dean, I wish I had done it, all right?"

Dean grabbed Sam by the front of his shirt, hands curling into fists. "There's no other way that this could have gone down. Now tell the truth!"

Sam knocked Dean's hands away. "I tried everything. That's the truth. I tried opening the Devil's Gate. Hell, I tried to bargain, Dean, but no demon would deal, all right? You were rotting in Hell for months. For months, and I couldn't stop it. So I'm sorry it wasn't me, all right?" Sam dropped his eyes to Dean's chest, unable to look his brother in the face -weight of his failure overwhelming. "Dean, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Sammy. You don't have to apologize, I believe you," Dean replied softly.

Dean had been back five days before he and Sam were able to spend more than a few minutes alone. Between Bobby, Pamela, demons, and Angels -freaking Angels- they just hadn't been able to take the time.

They were in their usual room at Bobby's, the old man finally having gone to sleep. Sam sat on one of the beds, watching Dean pace the room like a caged animal. He'd already salted the windows and door -and rechecked it five times- when Sam snapped. "Dean!"

Dean looked up, eyes wide at Sam's sudden outburst. "What?"

"Would you just go to sleep or sit down? Anything other than pace a hole in the floor."

Dean flopped down on the bed next to Sam, forehead resting on his little brother's shoulder. "Sorry, Sammy. Not really sure what to do with myself."

"Maybe you should just try to get some sleep."

Dean pulled away, turning to face Sam. "Can't sleep man." He placed a tentative hand on Sam's knee. "You realize this is the first time we've been alone since I got back?"

Sam sighed, eyes slipping closed. "Yeah." he paused, not able to meet Dean's eyes. "Look, about the chick at the hotel…"

Dean cut him off. "You don't owe me an explanation, Sam." He brought his hand up, cupping Sam's cheek. Sam leaned into the touch slightly. "I was dead. I didn't expect you to become a monk," he chuckled a bit.

Sam swallowed thickly. "I was just so lonely, man." He turned to Dean, hazel eyes brimming with tears. "I missed you so fucking much. God, it hurt to breathe."

Dean remembered all to well what it felt like when the shoe was on the other foot; when he was the brother left behind. And he only managed to last a few days. Sam had to endure four months. Dean wiped away a tear that broke loose with the pad of his thumb. "It's Ok, Sammy. 'm here now."

He pulled Sam into his arms. Sam buried his face in Dean's chest. They sat like that for several long moments, Dean running his fingers through Sam's hair, Sam breathing in the scent of his big brother -leather, salt, and home. Dean dropped one hand to Sam's thigh, strong fingers kneading the muscle. Sam whimpered at the contact, pressing his face harder against Dean's chest. "Sammy…"

Sam looked up, hazel eyes meeting and holding. Neither knew where they stood. Were they just going to pick up where they left off? Sam wasn't sure where this left them. Dean had seemed pretty interested in Pamela. "What're we doing here, Dean?" Damn. Sam had almost forgot that his brain and mouth lacked a censor when Dean was this close.

"Whatdya mean?"

Too late to back out now. "With us?" Dean quirked an eyebrow in question. "You seemed pretty interested in taking Pamela up on her offer."

"I didn't though."

"Cause she ended up in the hospital with her eyes burned outta her head."

"I wouldn't have anyway, Sammy. Come on, man. You know me. That shit is all for show." Dean moved his hand further up Sam's thigh. "The only person I wanna have eat me alive is you," he purred, voice low and husky.

Sam decided that was the perfect time to stop over thinking. He launched himself at Dean, knocking them both backwards onto the mattress. He pressed a wet frantic kiss to Dean's lips. Dean moaned as Sam's tongue ran across the seam of his mouth, seeking entrance. All the blood in his body flew south at the first brush of Dean's tongue against his. He pulled back when the need to breathe became too much. "Need you, Dean… please…"

They stripped in record time. Once naked, Sam lay back on the bed, pulling Dean down to settle between his spread thighs. Sam's eyes strayed to the still angry red palm print burned onto his brother's skin. A fierce sense of possessiveness surged through him stronger than he'd ever felt. Dean was his. And he was unable to save him. And now he wore a brand that spoke of Sam's failure.

Dean frowned at the dark look that settled on his beautiful little brother's face. He followed Sam's gaze, sighing when he realized what Sam was looking at. "It's OK, Sam."

Sam shook his head. "Shoulda been me," he mumbled as the overwhelming need for Dean to wear his mark took control. He gently placed one large palm over the mark, strangely pleased when his hand engulfed the brand. His fingers slid to the tattoo slightly to the right of Dean's heart. The tattoo that matched his.

Dean smiled as Sam's face softened. "That's our mark." He pointed to the burn. "This one means nothing aside from that fact that it brought me back to you."

Sam moved his hand to the back of Dean's head, pulling him down into a soul searing kiss. He broke away from Dean's lips, trailing his mouth down to Dean's collar bone. He bit and sucked the flesh until he could feel the warmth of blood pool beneath the surface. He let his head drop to the pillow, small smile gracing his lips as he saw the already purpling bruise. "And that's my mark."

Dean smirked as he reached to the table next to the bed, thankful he had thought to put the lube there before they fell into bed. He slicked up two fingers, running them playfully over Sam's hole. Sam writhed and moaned beneath Dean. "Please, Dean… wanna feel you…" he panted.

Dean pressed forward, index finger breaching the tight ring of muscle. Sam's eyes grew wide, breath hitching. Dean stopped. "You Ok, little brother?"

"Yeah. Just do it, Dean," Sam ground out between gritted teeth.

Dean pushed forward until his finger was all the way in Sam. He gently worked Sam open, one, two, then three fingers until Sam was jerking and muttering. Dean couldn't make out everything that Sam was saying but he was pretty sure that he heard been too long and missed you and Dean please.

He pulled his fingers out, Sam groaning at the loss. Dean moved to line up his cock with Sam. He pressed forward, stopping when just the tip was in. His little brother wrapped his long legs around Dean's waist, heel of one foot digging into Dean's ass, trying to push Dean all the way in. "Sammy… hold on. Need to take it slow."

"No. Just do it, Dean. Please… wanna feel it."

Dean bit his bottom lip as he pushed into Sam. He dropped his forehead to rest on Sam's broad chest. "God, baby boy… feel so fucking good," he moaned.

Sam jerked his hips. "Fuck me, Dean."

Dean nodded as he sat back up, one hand gripping Sam's thigh right below his hip, the other supporting his weight next to Sam's shoulder. He pulled his cock almost all the way out then slammed back in, the force moving Sam up the bed an inch. Dean began to snap his hips fast and hard as Sam arched off the bed. He knew that he'd hit Sam's prostate when his little brother let out low moan from deep in his chest, hips meeting Dean's thrusts. Dean felt his orgasm building low in his stomach. "'m close, Sammy…" Sam snaked a hand between their sweaty stomachs, long fingers wrapping around his own length. "That's it, Sammy. Make yourself come for me." Sam matched his strokes to Dean's thrusts, his own release close. Sam threw his head back, eyes clenching shut. "Look at me, Sam. Stay with me."

Sam opened his eyes, locking them with Dean's. The moment their eyes met, Sam tensed as his orgasm tore through him, Dean's name a long drawn out moan. Dean rocked Sam through his release before resuming his brutal pace, chasing his own pleasure. He came a few minutes later, growling Sam's name. He collapsed onto Sam, arm no longer able to hold his still trembling body.

They laid like that for so long they lost track of time, softly caressing and kissing gently. Dean finally pulled out of Sam and rolled onto his side, tugging Sam into his arms. Sam smiled sated and sleepily up at his brother. "Welcome home, big brother," he whispered before drifting to sleep.

If I didn't you know... I would wanna hunt you.

They drove in silence for awhile. Dean looked to Sam, only to find him staring out the side window. Dean turned back to the windshield. "You did the right thing, you know. That guy was a monster, there was no going back." Sam merely ducked his head down further. "Sam, I wanna tell you I'm sorry. I've been kind of hard on you lately."

Sam lifted his head slightly and the broken look on his face damn near killed Dean. "Don't worry about it, Dean."

"It's just that your, uh, your psychic thing, it scares the crap out of me."

"Look, if it's all the same... I'd really rather not talk about it." Sam finally turned to look at Dean, who let a little smile play on his lips.

"Wait a minute. What? You don't want to talk? You?"

Sam didn't respond to the smile or the teasing. "There's nothing more to say. I can't keep explaining myself to you. I can't make you understand."

"Why don't you try?"

"I can't. Because this thing, this blood, it's not in you the way it's in me. It's just something I got to deal with."

"Not alone." Never alone Sammy. Is what he really wanted to say.

Sam merely sighed, turning back to the window. Just when Dean was sure the conversation was over, Sam replied. "Anyway, it doesn't matter. These powers... it's playing with fire. I'm done with them." Dean looked to his brother, catching his reflection in the smooth glass. "I'm done with everything."

"Really?" Dean tried not to sound hopeful. Sam went quiet again as Dean turned his attention back to the road. "Well, that's a relief. Thank you."

Sam turned back towards him, scoffing a little. "Don't thank me. I'm not doing it for you. Or for the angels or for anybody. This is my choice."

That was an another unexpected stab to the heart. He tried not to be hurt by what Sam said, tried not to think about where this left them. His gut twisted painfully.

He could get passed the fact that Sam had slept with someone else; they'd both done it before. What he couldn't deal with was the fact that is was Ruby. And Sam lied about her and his psychic whatever. Blatantly lied right to his fucking face. Was Sam still fucking her? What else did they do when they would sneak off in the middle of the night?

Granted, he and Sam hadn't exactly picked right back up where they left off. And Dean knew that it was partly his fault. He was having a hard time dealing with the memories of his time in Hell. And he had pulled away from Sam. They hadn't had sex since a few days after his miraculous resurrection. They would sometimes touch or kiss but it felt more like it was out of habit than want.

Seals were being broken, the fucking Apocalypse had started, there were fucking Angels popping in at the most random times. God -which Dean still wasn't convinced about- was probably watching them. In short, their lives had became an even bigger shit storm than they already were. Did they really have time to settle their little domestic drama?

"I haven't been with her since you've been back, ya know." Sam's voice was so low that Dean almost didn't hear it. And he really didn't even know how to begin to respond. But apparently he didn't need to, Sam merely continued talking. "I know that you probably don't care, but I just thought you should know." He still talked to the window, not once facing Dean.

Dean did care. He just didn't know how to get past this on top of everything else. Maybe it would be best to continue to drift apart. They could still hunt together; they'd managed it before. They'd go back to just brothers. Sam and Dean, not SamandDean.

Still not knowing what to say, Dean merely nodded.

I gave him what he needed. And it wasn't some bitch in a g-string. It was you.

The situation with the Siren stung. Neither could face, or deny, what it revealed about the nature of their relationship. The damn thing forced men to kill the most important person in their lives. And with the exception of the of the one guy that killed his mother, the others had killed their wives, their partners.

And it got to both of them.

They hadn't spoken about them since Dean found out about Ruby. They just stopped. Hell, Sam even fucked pretty Dr. Cara.

And even though faced with the inescapable knowledge the Siren's attack brought to light -they still didn't talk about it.

There's Sam Girls and Dean Girls and...What's a slash fan?

"There's Sam Girls and Dean Girls and...What's a slash fan?" Dean looked at the screen, mildly confused.

"As in Sam slash Dean… together."

Dean looked up at Sam then, disbelief etched on his face. "Like together, together? They do know we're brothers right?"

Sammerely shook his head. "Doesn't seem to matter."

Dean slammed the laptop closed. "Well that's just sick!"

It wasn't until after they got Chuck's information from the slightly creepy and overly enthusiastic publisher that Sam couldn't hold it in any longer. They were driving to the address she had given them, when Sam cleared his throat. "So…"

Dean shot him a glance from the driver's side, one eyebrow raised in question. "Sooo…." Dean drug out when it seemed Sam wasn't going to continue.

"When we found that site…"

Dean cut Sam off. He knew exactly where this was going and they didn't talk about it. Not even when they were doing it. "Don't, Sam."

"I just wanna know why you reacted that way," Sam whispered.

Ok. So maybe Sam hadn't got the we don't discuss this memo. Dean would just have to remind him. "Just drop it, Sam."

"Do you regret it?" Sam looked at him, almond shaped eyes wide, head cocked slightly to the right.

Well fuck. Those four little words and that face? Dean was a goner. And they both knew it. He had to try, at least a little, to not just roll over for Sam like he used to. "Knock off the kicked puppy shit," Dean sighed. "Honestly?" he paused for a second. "The big brother part of me does."

Sam nodded, turning to look back out the window to avoid looking at Dean. "Ok. That explains the reaction then."

"I said part of me, Sam. Not all." Dean glanced quickly at Sam out of the corner of his eye. "It wasn't about you… or that," Dean responded after a few tense moments, voice thick.

Sam finally turned back to look at him. "Then why?"

Dean sighed and ran one hand through his hair. "It's personal shit, man. And people are using it for entertainment."

"They don't know we're real," Sam reasoned softly.

Dean shook his head. "Doesn't matter." He took a deep breath. He hated this -having to talk about them and the sharing and caring crap. Damn stupid emo little brother. "I just… it's… damn it, Sam."

And for some reason Sam understood what Dean was trying -and failing- to say. Their relationship had been solely theirs. No one knew about it. And even if the fangirls -heh, that was still kinda funny- didn't know they were real people, if felt like a violation of some sort. "Yeah. I get it, Dean."

Dean let out a relieved breath and shot a half smile at his little brother. Even though it hadn't been the same between them since shortly after Dean came back, it didn't change their past. In that moment, the time apart seemed to disappear and Dean found his hand sliding across the bench seat, palm up. Sam looked down at it, a small smile gracing his lips as he slid his hand into Dean's, entwining their fingers. "It wasn't about you, Sammy," Dean whispered as he squeezed his brother's fingers just slightly.

You walk out that door, don't you ever come back.

"You walk out that door, don't you ever come back," Dean rasped, voice wrecked were Sam had choked him.

Sam's blood ran cold when those words fell from his brother's mouth. Dean knew what they would do to Sam -he'd been there when they had been uttered before. He wanted to turn around and beat the shit out of Dean again. Or fall to his knees and beg forgiveness. He really wasn't sure. So he merely kept going.

If Dean wanted to be like their dad, then so be it. Sam didn't stick around then, he sure as fuck wouldn't now.

Dean... He's coming.

Despite what they'd been through the last year, when faced with the Devil himself they found themselves clinging to each other as always.

Both hands shot out automatically and in perfect sync. One trying to protect, one seeking forgiveness.

Neither looked at the other. They didn't need to. They'd always been able to find each other; even in the dark.

I just don't...I don't think that we can ever be what we were. You know? I just don't think I can trust you.

"I tried, Sammy. I mean, I really tried. But I just can't keep pretending that everything's all right. Because it's not. And it's never going to be. You chose a demon over your own brother and look what happened."

"I would give anything -anything- to take it all back."

"I know you would. And I know how sorry you are. I do. But, man...you were the one that I depended on the most. And you let me down in ways that I can't even..." Dean paused, struggling for words. "I'm just -I'm having a hard time forgiving and forgetting here. You know?"

"What can I do?"

"Honestly? Nothing," Dean paused again. "I just don't...I don't think that we can ever be what we were. You know? I just don't think I can trust you."

The words cut like a knife. But Sam knew that he deserved them. He had betrayed Dean in every way a person possibly could.

He stood stock, still staring at his brother's back, his 'fight or flight' instinct kicking into overdrive. Part of him wanted to turn tail and run as fast and as far as he could. The other part wanted to grab Dean and kiss him until there were no more doubts.

He still loved Dean. Knew that he always would. But everything that happened, most of which were Sam's own fault, destroyed whatever possibility may have existed. Heaven and Hell had used and manipulated them, but Sam had dealt the fatal blow.

He could almost hear his heart shatter when Dean turned away from him.

Maybe it's best we just...go our separate ways.

Watching Sam walk away should be easy for Dean after all the times he'd seen it. But it never got easier.

Sam was Dean's world. Had been since the kid was born. And even though John hadn't meant for it to happen, Sam had become his the night of the fire.

And Dean was giving him up, again. It seemed like he spent his life giving Sam up in one form or another.

He tried so hard to just let things be; let things go. Every fiber he had wanted to go after Sam, stop him and tell him that he still loved him. But Winchester pride was a stupid, dangerous, all consuming thing. So he let Sam go. Once again loosing the only person that ever mattered.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lucifer's wearing you to the prom?

"Look, Sam—it doesn't matter—whatever we do. I mean, it turns out that you and me, we're the, uh, the fire and the oil of the Armageddon. You know, on that basis alone, we should just pick a hemisphere. Stay away from each other for good."

"Dean, it does not have to be like this. We can fight it."

"Yeah, you're right. We can. But not together. We're not stronger when we're together, Sam. I think we're weaker. Because whatever we have between us -love, family, whatever it is -they are always gonna use it against us. And you know that. Yeah, we're better off apart. We got a better chance of dodging Lucifer and Michael and this whole damn thing, if we just go our own ways."

"Dean, don't do this."

"Bye, Sam."

Seeing his own beautiful baby brother snap his future self's neck was a huge wake up call. And the fucking Devil wearing Sam's skin like it was his own? Something in Dean broke.

In another life, another time, he had let Sam go as well. But never once tried to fix it. He left his brother alone and fragile and Satan took full advantage. Sam had begged to come back. But Dean had been to stubborn and hurt to even try. The minute Cas got him away from Zach, Dean knew what he needed to do.

"What are you doing?" Cas watched as Dean pulled out his phone.

"Something I should have done in the first place."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It's supposed to be me and you against the world.

Sam's version of Heaven destroyed Dean. Ripped his heart out and stomped on it a few times. They may not have been able to get back to where they once were but Dean thought that Sam would have at least one good memory from their time together. Hell, his very first memory was of Sam.

And then Ash going on about soul mates and sharing Heaven and Winchester-land. The fact that he and Sam were in each other's Heaven's was not lost on Dean. He didn't really believe in soul mates, but if there was such a thing, Sam was his.

God didn't give a fuck, Cas was broken, and Joshua was right. Dean was losing faith in everything.

What the hell, man? This is how it ends? You just…walk out?

"So."

"'So' what?"

"I saw your eyes. You were totally rockin' the "yes" back there. So, what changed your mind?"

"Honestly? The damnedest thing. I mean, the world's ending. The walls are coming down on us, and I look over to you and all I can think about is, "this stupid son of a bitch brought me here." I just didn't want to let you down."

Sam smiled. "You didn't. You almost did. But you didn't."

Dean was quiet for a moment. "I owe you an apology."

Sam shook his head. "No, man. No, you don't."

"Just...let me say this. I don't know if it's being a big brother or what, but to me, you've always been this snot-nosed kid that I've had to keep on the straight and narrow. I think we both know that that's not you anymore. I mean, hell, if you're grown-up enough to find faith in me…the least I can do is return the favor. So screw destiny, right in the face. I say we take the fight to them, and do it our way."

Sam smiled and nodded slightly. "Sounds good."

They stopped for the night a few hours later. Sam wasn't sure where they were; somewhere between Van Nuys and Sioux Falls. The silence in the motel was weird, oppressive, and deafening. They were fine in the truck they 'borrowed' for the trip back. But for some reason there was something hanging in the air that clung to them like sweat in August.

Dean sat down on the foot of one of the beds, absentmindedly rubbing the back of his neck. Sam stood awkwardly by the door, looking at anything but his brother.

"Sam."

"Dean."

They laughed a little as they said each other's name at the same time, weird tension relieved slightly. Sam smirked as he waved his hand in his brother's direction. "Go on, man. Age before beauty and all."

Dean quirked an eyebrow at Sam. He knew what Sam was doing. And he appreciated it. Try as he might, he couldn't contain the smile. "Good one, baby boy."

Sam's eyes snapped to his. Was that just a slip of the tongue? Memory from when they weren't constantly fighting and hurting each other? Or was it secret Dean code? He opened and closed his mouth a few times, not really sure what the hell he really wanted to say. But his upstairs brain disconnected, as it often did around Dean, and his downstairs brain must have been programmed to respond to that term of affection. He found himself standing there half hard from just two little words. And Sam's mouth usually grew a mind of its own when all his brain power rushed south. "Do you mean that?"

Dean didn't know what Sam meant. Did he mean what? That it was a good joke? Well, it was, Dean shrugged internally. Then Dean's brain caught up with the moment. Oh. Shit. It was the baby boy thing. "Do you want me to mean it?"

Same old Dean. They had been doing this off and on for 12 years and he still had to let Sam make the decision. But Sam did want him to mean it. So he clamped down on his natural instinct to be the bratty little brother. He walked forward, dropping to his knees between Dean's legs, large warm palms settling on Dean's hips. He leaned in, lips ghosting over his big brother's. "More than anything," he whispered, voice already husky.

Dean ran his hand through Sam's too-long hair. "Missed you," he whispered back before closing the rest of the distance between them, both physically and emotionally.

The kiss was a slow sweet slide of lips, tentative and slightly unsure. Sam pulled back first, eyes seeking Dean's. "Do you want this, Dean? I mean, after everything…"

Dean cut him off. "We're both to blame, Sammy. But I'm done pretending. So we move forward. We let the past mistakes go," he paused, brow furrowing. "Unless…"

"No. I do." Sam's eyes dropped to his hands, still gripping Dean's hipbones. "Never stopped."

Dean cupped the side of his face, tilting it back up. "Me neither."

The next kiss was the exact opposite of the first one. It was frantic, nearly two years of pent up love, lust, anger and pain rolling together. Dean growled deep in his throat when Sam nipped at his bottom lip. Sam moaned when one of Dean's hands grabbed his ass, strong fingers kneading the muscular globe.

They ripped and tore clothes off themselves and each other. The intensity of Ohmygodgottahaveyounow making their hands shake. There was a moment when they were both in just their boxer briefs were they just stopped and looked at each other. Chests heaving and identical hazel eyes blown wide with lust, they simply looked. Sam broke first, eyes locked on Dean's. "Dean…"

"I know Sammy… I know."

They crashed together in the middle of the bed furthest from the door, hands, lips and tongues relearning familiar skin. Sam laid down, pulling Dean on top of him. "Want you so fuckin' bad, big brother."

Dean hummed his agreement against Sam's abs. The elder hunter looked up the long expanse of Sam's muscular body. He hadn't really realized it but Sam had gotten freaking huge over the last two years. They locked eyes again as Dean slowly removed Sam's boxers. Sam's breath hitched when he felt the wet heat of Dean's mouth surround his dick. Dean sucked him down like a starving man at an all you can eat buffet. "God… Dean… you gotta stop that… not gonna last…" Sam panted.

Dean pulled away, kissing and nibbling his way back up Sam's body, until his lips were hovering over Sam's ear. "Can't have that. Wanna make you come while I'm buried inside that sweet ass." Sam shivered at the fuck me now tone of Dean's voice.

"Love the way your voice sounds after my cock's been in your throat."

Dean smirked. "You like that, do ya, little brother?"

"Fuck yeah." Sam wrapped his long arms around Dean, flipping him onto his back. Dean looked up into Sam's flushed face, one eyebrow raised. "Wanna ride you."

Dean grunted as he pulled Sam down to his chest, kissing him again. He pulled back, lips still pressed against Sam's. "So fuckin' hot, baby boy."

Sam scooted down Dean's thighs, pulling of his underwear as he went. Dean placed a hand on Sam's hip. "Wait… hold on, Sammy."

"What?"

"No lube."

Sam leaned forward, gently kissing his brother's full pouty lips. "Don't really care. Can't wait. Can't stop."

Dean shook his head. "Don't wanna hurt you."

Sam brought Dean's hand to his mouth, lips wrapping around two fingers. He sucked Dean's fingers like they were his dick, getting them as wet as he could. Dean's eyes darkened as he watched Sam. "Jesus Christ, Sam," Dean moaned as the sight caused his cock to twitch.

Sam leaned forward onto his knees, moving Dean's hand to his ass. "That'll do."

Dean pressed his index finger into Sam's tight hole, resistance overwhelming at first. He stopped when Sam hissed, head falling forward. "Sammy?"

"'m Ok, Dean. Just do it. Please."

Dean pushed his finger all the way in, pausing to let Sam breathe. He started wiggling his finger as he felt the tension begin to give. He pulled it out, shoving two back in. He twisted and scissored his fingers until Sam was writhing and moaning against him. "'m ready, Dean. Come on. Fuck me."

Dean pulled his fingers out, needy little whimper escaping Sam's lips. He spit into his palm as Sam raised up on his knees. It was crude and not nearly enough but it would have to work. He stroked his cock, slicking it as best he could. Sam's thighs trembled as he held himself over Dean's length. "Maybe this isn't the best way to do this tonight, Sammy."

Sam shook his head as he sank down onto Dean's cock. There was no way he'd be able to stand the slow burning slide. He relaxed his thigh muscles, letting gravity and his weight make up for the lack of lube. He stopped once he was seated flush against Dean's hips. Dean arched slightly off the bed, Sam's tight heat overwhelming. "Fuck… Sam… so tight…"

Sam laid forward, chest resting against his brother's. "Has been awhile, ya know," Sam panted, laughter in his voice. The chuckle Dean gave back warmed his heart. He kissed Dean as he began to rock back and forth, burn subsiding to a pleasant stretch. They set a slow pace at first, both needing to adjust again. Sam shifted his hips, Dean's cock hitting his prostate, a deep guttural moan rumbling in his chest. His thrusts picked up speed, riding Dean frantically. Dean bent his knees, feet flat on the mattress and met Sam stroke for stroke. Sam's face was buried in the crock of Dean's neck, kissing, biting and sucking the skin there. "Missed you so fuckin' much, Dean. 'm sorry. 'm so sorry. Never stopped loving you," Sam babbled, lips still pressed to Dean's neck.

Dean wrapped his arms around Sam's back. "Shh. It's ok, baby boy," Dean soothed as he kissed Sam's temple. "'m sorry too." Dean swallowed thickly, before whispering against the side of Sam's face, "I love you, Sammy."

Sam felt his heart warm. Dean never told him that, even in the heat of the moment. Sure, when they were together before, Sam knew that Dean loved him. But hearing the words, especially after all they'd been through pushed Sam over the edge. His rhythm became erratic, Dean's cock hitting his prostate on every thrust. But those three little words were Sam's undoing. His orgasm took him by surprise, a cry of Dean's name torn from his lips.

Dean gently rocked Sam through the trembling aftershocks before flipping them over. Sam was still shaking as Dean increased his pace, fast and deep but not hard. Their eyes locked when Dean came, a few dozen strokes later, Sam's name a deep moan.

Dean collapsed onto Sam, sweat and come sticky between them, but Dean hadn't felt so right in two years. Sam brought still shaky arms up and wrapped them around Dean, hugging him closer, if possible. Dean smiled against Sam's chest, his little brother's rapid heartbeat starting to slow under his cheek. "You Ok, Sammy?"

"Yeah." Sam smiled up at Dean; sated and happy.

Dean gently pulled out of Sam, flopping onto his back and pulling Sam into his arms. Sam sighed and snuggled down into his big brother's embrace.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

You go live some normal, apple-pie life, Dean. Promise me.

They were leaving for Detroit the next morning. Sam and Dean ditched Bobby and Cas, claiming they needed to go over the plan and get ready for what they had to do.

They laid on one of the beds, both fully clothed, Dean on his back, arms wrapped around Sam who had his head on Dean's shoulder. They didn't speak, the only movement the soft rise and fall of their chests in perfect unison and Dean's hand gently running through Sam's hair.

They laid like that for hours, listening to their joined breathing and heartbeats -letting those say what couldn't be put into words. It had always been that way with them. When it was important, they didn't need words. There were no words -what could they even say? That they loved each other? They both knew. That they were sorry? They knew. That they would miss each other? Not even a question. That neither really wanted it to go this way? They knew. That Dean knew he would die the moment his brother took that leap? Had already been proven.

Sam leaned up, weight propped on one elbow, eyes locking with Dean's. His other hand began to absentmindedly trace patterns on Dean's cotton covered stomach. Dean didn't have to look to know they were protective symbols.

They moved forward at the same time, lips meeting in the middle. It was a slow and gentle, a true betrayal of the madness and urgency of the situation around them.

They were still silent as they began to slowly undress each other, hands and lips worshiping every bit of skin as it was revealed. They stroked, kissed, and touched for hours; both knew what the next day would bring -knew that they wouldn't get another chance. They made love in silence, sharp inhales and tiny bitten back moans the only sound aside from their pounding hearts. They ended as they begun -Sam buried deep inside Dean until they both lost control. And after, they clung together -as they had their whole lives- and fell asleep. Neither having said a word.

After several hours on the road Dean noticed Cas asleep in the backseat. He looked in the rearview mirror then to Sam. "Aw. Ain't he a little angel?"

Sam turned to look at Cas. "Angels don't sleep." The brothers shared a knowing look; Cas was pretty much human.

Dean turned his eyes back towards the road. "Sam, I got a bad feeling about this," he said softly.

Sam smirked slightly. "Well, you'd be nuts to have a good feeling about it."

"You know what I mean. Detroit. He always said he'd jump your bones in Detroit. Here we are. Maybe this is him rolling out the red carpet, you know? Maybe he knows something that we don't." He looked to Sam out of the corner of his eye.

"Dean, I'm sure he knows a buttload we don't. We just got to hope he doesn't know about the rings," Sam paused, not wanting to bring this up, but knowing that he had to. "Hey, um... on the subject, there's something I got to talk to you about."

Dean looked suspicious. "What?"

"This thing goes our way and I...Triple lindy into that box... Y-you know I'm not coming back."

"Yeah, I'm aware."

Sam turned slightly in his seat. "So you got to promise me something."

"Okay. Yeah. Anything."

"You got to promise not to try to bring me back," Sam said quickly.

"What? No, I didn't sign up for that." Anger sparked in Dean's belly.

"Dean..."

Dean cut Sam off. "Your hell is gonna make my tour look like Graceland. Y-you want me just to sit by and do nothing?" Dean couldn't believe what Sam was asking him to do.

"Once the cage is shut, you can't go poking at it, Dean. It's too risky," Sam replied earnestly, trying to make Dean see reason.

"No, no, no, no, no. As if I'm just gonna let you rot in there."

"Yeah, you are. You don't have a choice."

Dean sounded broken. "You can't ask me to do this."

Sam knew what this was doing to his big brother but they had no choice this time, it had to happen this way. "I'm sorry, Dean. You have to."

"So then what am I supposed to do?"

"You go find Lisa." Dean rolled his eyes, knowing already where Sam was going with this. As if Dean could just forget everything his little brother meant to him, all that they had been through -pretend that he had never loved Sam. "You pray to god she's dumb enough to take you in, and you...you have barbecues and go to football games. You go live some normal, apple-pie life, Dean. Promise me," Sam urged. Dean could only stare at Sam as his heart broke just alittlemore.

A/N part deux-

What'd it cost? Was it just your soul, or was it something worse?- Lazarus Rising
If I didn't you know... I would wanna hunt you- Metamorphosis
I gave him what he needed. And it wasn't some bitch in a g-string. It was you - Sex and Violence
There's Sam Girls and Dean Girls and...What's a slash fan?- The Monster at the End of This Book
You walk out that door, don't you ever come back- When The Levee Breaks
Dean... He's coming- Lucifer Rising
I just don't...I don't think that we can ever be what we were. You know? I just don'tthink I can trust you- Sympathy For The Devil
Maybe it's best we just...go our separate ways- Good God Y'All
Lucifer's wearing you to the prom?- The End
It's supposed to be me and you against the world- Dark Side of the Moon
What the hell, man? This is how it ends? You just…walk out?- Point of No Return
You go live some normal, apple-pie life, Dean. Promise me- Swan Song