Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers, I merely borrow the characters to weave my own tales, and I am not making any profit from this.

I have no excuse for some of the insanity you are about to witness in the form of drabble. Honestly, I don't know where half of these came from. (I blame the tapdancing carrot.)

Comfort

"It's alright. Not going to hurt you," he managed wearily, watching the skittering glow of hundreds of pairs of optics, peering through the shadows. "I don't think I could, anyway. Even if I wanted to. ...Not that I do."

Allspark?

Sam glanced down at his arm, grimacing at the fingers of metal slowly creeping over the limb, then at the luminous web knitting through flesh, bridging the gaping edges of the hole in his torso together. He could still see the ground through it. If he wanted to, and if he still had two hands, he could have put both of them through the hole palms spread and not have touched his own body. His body more resembled an abstract, war-torn Cybertron now, a landscape of jagged metal built on a living (dying) being. His heart was all but obliterated, but he could still see part of his lung working. It would probably stop in a few minutes.

"M not...yet. Probably will be soon, though," he admitted to himself. "Wonder if I'll still exist after this..."

Hurt?

"Dunno. Don't wanna think about the pain."

One pair of optics skittered closer, peering into his eyes. The tiny hatchling appeared to be judging him. This lasted for a long time, then it gave a purr-like sound and curled up in the hollow of his throat. Barely a few seconds later, the rest followed.

Like a living metal blanket.

Comfort.

"Thank you."

Flying

'Alright.'

He was screaming. He knew he was. He couldn't hear it though. It was more of a detached sense, like he was a stranger in his own body.

'They say the trick is to aim for the ground and miss.'

Closer, closer...

'Lets hope I miss, then.'

Hello, Planet Dirt.

Truth

"You're lying."

"He's gone, Mikaela. Dead. He isn't coming back. The sooner you accept that the better."

"You're lying."

"The funeral's next week."

"You're lying!"

"No, Mikaela, I'm not."

Stage

"I really can't believe I let you talk me into this," he muttered, fidgeting uncomfortably with his eye patch.

"Oh c'mon, dude, it'll be fun!"

"Sure, and knowing my luck the 'Cons will decide to crash the party."

"Relax, dude. Just enjoy the music."

"I haven't been able to relax in a crowd since I lost my eye, Miles." He twitched as someone slammed into his back. "I really want my visor right now..."

Miles suddenly shot him a suspicious look. "You didn't bring it, did you?"

"..."

"You did, didn't you?"

"..."

"Saaam!"

"It was this or a security guard with all the bells and whistles."

"...Fine. Just don't shoot the stage. I want to enjoy the concert."

"My PTSD is not that bad."

"I threw a chocolate at you and you shot it out of the air."

"...Shut up, Miles."

Llama

"..."

Will stared at the llama. The llama stared at Will.

There was a stare down of epic proportions.

Then Will realized he was in a staring contest with a llama.

"You know what? No. I'm not even gonna ask." He turned to leave, then paused and leveled a finger at Sideswipe and Epps with a glare. "You will deal with whatever paperwork this causes."

Mentor

"That is a straw. Humans use them to suck things, most often liquids, into their mouths. Sometimes to shoot spit-balls..."

"?"

"This? This is a spork. A cross between a fork and a spoon. A really stupid and useless contraption that we are forced to use because some people are too lazy-and cheap-to get real eating utensils. Sporks are evil. They should be eviscerated. And then there would be no more sporks and we could use normal eating utensils."

"?"

"No, we don't eat utensils. We eat with them."

"?"

"It is inadvisable to put them up your nose. Whoever you saw doing that was an idiot. If you put them up your nose, your nose turns into a frog, and then you have this frog clinging to your face."

"!"

"...If it was Leo, then it was probably a bet made with the evil coffee stealers...hm, moving on..."

Will shook his head, reaching for the coffee pot beside Maggie. "I'm still not used to that."

"Not used to what? Sam translating Cybertronian or Sam being followed around by giant aliens like a momma duck with ducklings teaching them 'the ways of Earth'?"

"Both."

...

"You have to admit, he does make a good mentor."

"Mm."

They stood side by side for a minute, watching in silence before Will spoke again.

"He's sleepwalking again, isn't he?"

"Yup."