Authors notes: I have tried a slightly different way of telling the story. Italics indicate a dream sequence.

Bold Italics indicate a dream within a dream

Regular Font indicates present time, no dreams

AN2: So sorry for the delay, I've been busy the last couple of weeks with home reno's, but it is nice to know that this little gay boy can lay a concrete slab and build a pergola all while trying to cook up 10 kgs of plum jam and about 20 litres of tomato relish... It has been a bumpercrop for the vege patch this year and we are only just into autumn (fall).

Please Note: This chapter contains explicit sex If you are under the age of majority in your own country... don't bitch to me, cos CAVEAT LECTOR You've been warned.

I can still smell him, long after he passes by; an earthy, citrusy scent… one I know all too well, Marc Jacobs' Bang Pour Homme. Trust Kurt to be designer everything… then again, he wouldn't be Kurt otherwise.

They say that scent is the greatest memory trigger known and I know that this is true, I can't help but picture Kurt every time I smell that cologne… or even smell oranges or the smell of the outdoors just after the rain, all this and more identify the originator as Kurt.

Closing my eyes and taking in a deep breath, I allow the scent to linger, identifying the individual notes it is comprised of, letting them lull me into the belief that Kurt is nearby. Letting out my breath before I get light headed I notice that the scent is stronger than before, slightly more spicy and alive, the citrus has more zest and the earthiness more musky than usual. I open my eyes and look down.

Down in to the eyes of no other than the man himself.

I look down into Kurt's eyes and I breathe again.

"Dave?" Kurt softly asks, "Are you alright?"

If he only knew how long I have dreamed of him looking at me so, soft concern in his voice; no hatred or abhorrence, just a simple question and yet it is one that undoes me.

It's time, time to come clean.

So much I want to say and yet I am incapable of even forming a word as I feel the dam begin to crumble inside me, the only thing holding back my every emotion, my every action and my every wish.

Feeling my eyes sting as they begin to well and frantically blinking to hold them back; I can only stutter out, "No," before that dam breaks down completely and I am swept away by the currents of my own imaginings and feelings… and as I drown in my own maelstrom I reach out to Kurt and drag him in close to me as I finally let it all out.

Hours, seconds, minutes or days later; I find myself still wrapped around Kurt like a demented octopus and I can only imagine how I appear to him; red, swollen eyes, snotty nose and blotchy skin.

I'm not game to look him in the face just yet, I can see I have ruined his sweater, tears and snot staining it and it is so soft that I know it has to be dry clean only. Shuddering slightly I finally look up into his eyes and see redemption… hope.

Startling blue eyes, highlighted with soft greys and vivid greens look down on me. Ageless pain and wisdom emanate from behind them as he softly croons to me as a mother would a terrified child. Kurt's hand softly raking through my hair, as if in an almost unconscious movement, and his words… his words are so soft as to be almost unvocalised.

"Shhh, I know Dave, I know… I'm here now."

And I fall apart all over again.

I can feel his arm wind tighter around me and his fingers still moving gently through my hair as I fall asleep exhausted… but happy.

I feel a difference between us now, as the days pass I still remember how Kurt held me, the soft loving words, the tender looks and for the first time in a long while I begin to hope.

It seems that whoever is up there hasn't totally forsaken me and as I close my eyes… I dream.

"Kurt?"

His fingers continue tracing patterns on my chest as he answers abstractedly.

"Yes Dave."

"You know how I said when it was time; I'd tell you… well I'm telling you."

His fingers cease movement, catching my chest hair painfully between his fingers.

"You sure Dave?"

"Yeah… it's time… I'm sure."

Lifting my head from where it was laid upon his lap, I watch as he stands and reaches out his hand to me.

Grasping his hand I raise myself up, putting minimal weight onto Kurt for no matter what will happen next, I am still much bigger and heavier that he is.

"Then Dave, if it is time…it is time."

His voice roughens at the last, curling licks of heat thread their way through his words, down through our joined hands to settle deep inside my gut… finally it's going to happen.

No more toy, just pure Kurt.

We have discussed this many times, the first time he takes me properly. I told him I didn't care how or when, but that first time I only wanted him inside me, no rubbers, just him.

I need to feel him come inside me, branding me as his.

Kurt being Kurt had to argue repeatedly until I told him why, because I only wanted him, and he could read anything and everything into that.

I won.

My hands are shaking as they reach up to unbutton his shirt, it's not as if we haven't fooled around together before, but never has he fucked me with his cock, the toy yes… but tonight that changes.

My lips nuzzle the skin beneath them before I even have his shirt off of his shoulders, my need to worship him is growing stronger the closer we get. Flickering my tongue over his nipples gets a sharp, drawn in breath from Kurt, followed by a sharp exhale and it excites me knowing I can do this to him.

I want to linger, but I need all of him now, I can always linger afterwards.

Unbuckling his belt as I lightly graze my cheek across his flank, my stubble causing his muscle to contract away involuntarily, but I neither worry nor care by this point as I slide his briefs down and watch his cock spring free.

Solid, raw and unabashed his cock stares at me, his scent assailing my nostrils and I crave, I crave his taste, his texture; the feeling of him sliding deep down my throat filling me from the mouth before he fills me from behind.

My throat is dry and raspy as sheer want envelopes me in such a way that makes it impossible to think of nothing else but Kurt's pleasure.

Sliding my tongue along the underside until I reach his knob, still half sheathed inside his foreskin, I slide my tongue in between the two; just to hear Kurt's cut of cry… I know he loves it when I do that.

Swirling my tongue inside his foreskin, I get Kurt's full flavour and I begin to pant.

He's big, real big and thick, I know it is going to hurt when he fucks me and god I so want him to make me feel.

I can feel is hands on the back of my head, slowly pushing me onto his cock as he slowly thrusts his cock deeper down my throat. I love this so much.

Taking a deep breath, I swallow and take more of him until my nose is squashed up against his pubes… tastefully trimmed of course.

I feel his hand sliding down my back towards my ass and I can't help but moan and thrust my ass up higher into the air so it is easier to reach for him.

"Turn around." He murmurs, barely a voice, more like boulders scraping against a glacier, so deep and gravelly.

Turning around I get back down on all fours and I sense more than feel his hand nearing my hole.

Arching my back even more, I manage to beg brokenly and then I feel it, a finger at my cleft, lightly skimming my hole, teasing me… torturing me… I want him so badly.

I must sound like a bad porn star by the filthy moan I release as his tongue swipes my ass. His hands are no longer gentle now as they grip the two sides of my ass tightly and spread them wide before his tongue dives in deep inside me.

Opening me up for him.

I writhe on the end of his tongue, forcing my ass back onto it, feeling him rim me so deep, tasting me.

My moan of disappointment at the loss of his tongue is short lived as I feel the blunt head of his cock graze my hole… I shudder convulsively.

I can feel the slickness as he slides his cock over and around my hole, knowing he's already lubed up.

Kurt's breath comes short and hard, "Ready?" and not even waiting for a reply he pushes in.

Fuck, the pain is worse than I expected, but that doesn't seem to bother my cock, it's still hard and practically throbbing in time with my heartbeat as Kurt pushes inexorably deeper inside me until he is fully seated and his balls brushing against my own.

"Dave…Please" Kurt begs brokenly.

Not answering him verbally, I rear back hard and see stars… and howl at the moon.

Taking his cue from me, Kurt pulls back out to the tip and thrusts back inside, angling his cock so it doesn't hit my prostate, but the full length of his cock glides against it making me shudder and howl.

Harder and faster he keeps thrusting, each thrust of his met with me backing into him and screaming from the rafters until with one last thrust he stills and shakes.

And he fills me.

I scream as I feel him come inside me, my own orgasm just a moment away and with one final grind against Kurt… I come as well.

Feeling empty as he pulls out, I groan as the ache hits me, but am so tired I barely hear Kurt say to me.

"I love you Dave."

Waking up has never felt so good, it may have only been a dream, but it still gives me hope for the future.

Looking over at the alarm just as it goes off I…

Waking up slowly, my alarm going off in my ear, I smell the distinct odour of come and the slimy feeling of damp sheets. It takes a moment before I realise I have two fingers in my mouth, soaking wet and shrivelled and three fingers in my ass, and I realise… it was all a dream.

Nothing but a dream, my apology to Kurt, our friendliness… the sex.

Nothing but a dream.

Getting up out of the hospital bed and shuffling over to the bathroom, I wash my hands before looking up into mirror before I realise I am crying once again.