Sorry it took so long! I was focusing on The Tale of a Rider, and then my school musical really ate up my time.

So, in lieu of a snow day, I got down to writing this. If you were a fan of my last story and read my chapter 12 rant about how my non-Disney fandoms can get insane, well, that has something to do with it too. I'm trying to get my mind off of the absolute jerks surrounding my other shows *cough*House*cough*…but I digress.

However, I'm doing this chapter kind of as a pilot. There are other fics with pretty much this exact premise popping up, and so I don't want to put a lot of effort into this story if nothing comes of it. So depending on the results of this chapter, I may or may not do a full sequel.

I'm starting with the princes today because, well, they had a better story idea.

Eugene really didn't want to go to this.

At all.

He wasn't a prince. Not even close. And he didn't want to hang out with them. Oh sure, he had heard that he and Aladdin had their similarities, but then there were all the others—frilly collared, snot nosed little rich boys who had everything handed to them on a silver platter. After he'd married Rapunzel, he'd met plenty of princes. Most just turn up their nose at the little street trash that dared grace their presence while telling the king and queen in the most faux-pleasant tone that they are so impressed by the new addition to the family.

But Rapunzel insisted, reasoning that she was going to meet the Disney Princesses (which she was quite adorably excited for, with her lit-up green eyes and sunny smile) and would need someone to attend functions with her. He guessed that this was what relationships were about. No wonder he avoided them like the plague before her.

The Beast's castle wasn't particularly different from any castle he had seen before; same white towers, same grand entrances. If it had been any other time in his life, this would probably be a target for thievery instead of something he was just going to for "fun." But, strangely enough, as he entered the palace, he was greeted not by a snotty servant but a small boy in a loose white shirt, face sticky with what appeared to be ice cream.

"Hiya, sir! Sorry the other servants couldn't get you. My name is Chip, and I'm so glad to meet you!" The little boy shook his hand furiously, "It's been so long since new princes arrived, and now all of a sudden you and Naveen appear!"

Eugene had heard vaguely of Prince Naveen, but not enough to really know his character. He guessed he'd find out later.

"Com'n, the other princes are in the ballroom…" The boy tugged on his arm, pulling him down the hall to a pair of towering double doors. "Have fun, sir!" He skipped off with his hands clasped behind his back, humming to himself.

Eugene chuckled. Cute kid. Reminded him of some of the kids from the orphanage, if significantly better fed.

Slowly, he pushed open the door, the carved wood groaning against the slippery smooth floors. With a sigh, he stepped into the room.

It only flashed in his eyes before something reached forward and yanked him stumbling back, his boots making a loud THUNK as they grinded against the ground.

"Waah!" he flailed his arms to keep balance, but one was grabbed away before he could reclaim it. His stomach lurched as he finally was able to plant two feet on the ground.

"Woah…" A man, taller and broader than him, with a blonde ponytail and regal blue jacket, had taken it and held it up to his eyes. "Is everyone where you live this…bright and bulgy?"

"What?" Eugene yanked away his arm, rubbing it. "Wha…oh, great." As he looked out to the room around him, filled to the brim with laughing princes of all types, he saw that each one was flat and rather blank, with their hair a mass on mostly one color. Only the painted, shimmering golden chandelier looked anything like he was used to. He, on the other hand, was detailed and shaded, with every hair on his head shining in the bright light. "Yeah, I'm different. Wonderful."

"Oh…" The man shrugged, baring a set of perfectly white teeth, "that's okay, we understand. I just didn't expect…nevermind. Welcome, Flynn!" A large hand clamped on his shoulder, almost pushing him to the ground.

"Gah!" Eugene regained his balance once more. How many times was he going to have to do that tonight? "Its Eugene, and uh…thanks."

"Eugene?" The man frowned, rubbing his chin, "the messengers must have made a mistake…"

"No, your messengers are fine," Eugene sighed, rolling his eyes. He got really tired of explaining this! "I used to go by Flynn Rider, but now I went back to Eugene Fitzherbert."

"Eugene Fitzherbert?" asked a voice behind him, holding back a snicker.

"Hey!" Eugene spun around to meet a young Middle Eastern boy, barely poking past his teenage years, "it may not be the most regal sounding name, but—"

"No, no…" the boy smiled, sticking out his hand, "I'm Aladdin. I'm the youngest prince! That," he nodded towards the first man, "is Adam."

"Salutations." Eugene mumbled under his breath, shaking Aladdin's hand.

"So, I hear you're a thief, just like me!" Aladdin gave a big smile, full of excitement. His voice lowered, and he bent over a little closer, "It'll be nice to have someone else who didn't get born into marble arches and golden challises, you know?"

"Nah, we had to steal those."

Aladdin laughed, thumping him on the shoulder, "I like you already, I can tell."

"Oh, the new prince has arrived!"

Marvelous.

A breath whistled past Eugene's lips. This was when the pain was going to start.

A crowd of frilly dressed, cape-wearing (ok, only two of them wore capes, but still. Capes!), pearly whites'd, tight pants, fluffed hair, velvet vested princes flounced over to shake his hand.

He had to hold back a groan. And oh, it was hard.

The first, a man in a small black hunting cap and a particularly punchable smile, took his hand before Eugene could dodge the shake.

"Such an honor to meet you, my good, brightly colored man! I'm Phillip!"

"Brightly colored, indeed."

"Bulgy too."

"I've never seen anything like it."

Eugene opened his mouth to explain, but Phillip interrupted him.

"Now men," he said, "We know better than to call someone out on being different."

He looked sincere. But there was no way he was actually pleased to meet Eugene—was there? No, he would not be fooled by this man's obvious mask of friendliness. In two seconds Phillip was going to stick up his nose and wipe his lotioned hand on his tunic like Eugene was covered in slime or something.

"You get a lot of girls with that cap?" Eugene joked, figuring hey, he might as well be himself. It's not like they wouldn't see right past any act he put on, especially not with his very peasant-like attire. He maybe shouldn't have worn his rough, frayed blue vest and thick brown boots, but he did, and now it was these or going naked. And something told him he might turn away a few more princes like that.

"No more than my beloved Aurora." Phillip shrugged. "Do you, um, 'get a lot of girls?'" The prince couldn't exactly hide his distaste of the idea, his face twisting into a frown.

"Not since I got married." A sly smirk invaded Eugene's lips, "but before then, yeah, the ladies loved me."

Phillip blinked twice.

"Where's Naveen?" He smiled gently, chuckling, "He hasn't arrived yet, and for some reason," the other princes gave a knowing laugh, "I think he should be here."

"I dunno." Aladdin scratched his hair, shaking it from his face, "It's kind of like him to be late, though."

"What about Naveen?" Eugene asked Adam.

"It's just that last year, when Naveen first got here…" Adam shook his head, "Nevermind. It's a long story."

"Naveen is a fine fellow," Phillip said, "But he took some getting used to."

All of a sudden, the talking stopped. All eyes were on Eugene, expecting him to say something.

"Uh…" Eugene hated being put on the spot. It made him feel naked, especially when he can't steal anything. He knew ol' Blondie would object to him robbing the golden belt buckles off the princes on the very first meeting. "Eheheh, yeah, I am quite the charmer. All the girls, they had a thing for the bad boy type, so they all wanted me. Couldn't resist. Thief, ya know?" He gave a half smoulder, half smile, leaning back on his crossed boots and folding his arms.

None of the princes looked impressed.

Phillip shook his head softly, laughing gently. "Naveen is either going to love you or despise you utterly."

Oh God, he thought. Really? What was Naveen like? Eugene again fought the urge to groan, a million ideas running through his head.

And, as if on cue, the doors burst open.

"Sorry I'm late, boys!" A heavy accent that Eugene didn't recognize sang, "The wife was a little, uh, insistent. But you know, none of them can resist me!" The man, newsboy cap in one hand and ukulele in the other, danced through the princes, patting some on the back and nudging others in the side, the cocky grin never leaving his face. He flopped the cap on his head, now forming a smile that looked disturbingly like Eugene's signature smoulder.

Oh God oh God.

He stood back, recrossing his arms as Naveen stopped right in front of him.

"Ah…who are you, may I ask?"

"Eugene. Eugene Fitzherbert."

Naveen stood there, staring back at him for a short while, a blank expression on his face. Then:

"Mmf…"

"Naveen…"

"Sorry, its just…heheheh…"

"My friend, it's not kind to—"

"I know! I know! I just…uh…hmmhehehah…"

"3, 2, 1." Eugene whispered to himself, sighing.

"BUAHAHAHAHA!"

"Charming," he moaned.

"I—hahaha—thought—heheheh—your name was Flynn Rider."

"I did go by that," Eugene dropped his hands to his sides, his face growing hard and serious. Naveen glanced to Phillip before looking back, and Eugene couldn't help but see that he looked a bit…scared. "But then I decided it made me sound like I was trying too hard. And a few other things happened as well." Naveen didn't leave his eye, but didn't make an attempt to close the gap.

I wonder…

As an experiment, Eugene stepped forward, towards Naveen. The prince in front of him hopped back, trying to keep a constant distance.

The cogs in Eugene's mind where whirling. This time, he balled his fists once before letting them go and, almost immediately, Naveen flew up his own hands in front of his body, eyes wide.

"Ok, ok, I get it. No need to make any trouble."

Eugene almost couldn't believe it. Naveen was…intimidated by him.

Of course he was, he thought. Naveen, with his soft skin, soft hands and handsome but completely well-trimmed looks, must have lived all his life with soft pillows and plenty of cash to keep him cozy. He had every right to be intimidated by someone with a little dirt under their fingernails, especially someone about his own age.

Eugene smirked. This could be fun.

"Really?" Eugene said in his best, thug-deep voice. "I think there's plenty room for trouble." He sauntered closer to the prince, crossing his arms again. "You make fun of my name, you pay the price…Us street boys, we settle our differences with blood."

Naveen gave a nervous laugh, rubbing his arm. He sent a pleading at Adam, practically begging him to save him.

Eugene found it positively hilarious.

"I don't think—"

"Alright, no." Adam jumped forward, spreading his arms between the two men. "Stop it. I don't want any fighting, please. We don't need another Shang and John."

Two men Eugene hadn't noticed before took a moment to give a fiery glare at each other, the type of glare he usually took as a sign it's time to leave the bar.

"Sorry," Eugene murmured to Naveen, shrugging, "I was just kidding around."

"Ok, I like a good joke," he said, "I'm a lighthearted person. So, a 'street boy,' huh?"

"He's a theif, like me!" Aladdin piped, still smiling about the fact.

"A brightly colored one. You don't stand out too much to steal anything?"

Eugene closed his eyes, letting out one last groan. He was going to have to explain this a lot tonight, wasn't he?

"Everything where I live looks like this."

"Seriously? Even the world around you?"

"Even the world around us, yes."

The princes glanced among each other, wide eyed, before looking back to him.

"You live in a strange land," a black haired prince in a shifty white shirt said, a bewildered look on his face.

A young prince stepped forward, running a strand of Eugene's hair in his fingers. "Your hair…it gleams!"

"Gah!" he swatted his hand away, brushing his hair back into place, "Don't do that!"

Another prince, this one with shorter black hair and a slightly more modern uniform, stuck his nose right up to Eugene's chest. "The detail on your vest is fascinating! I can see every thread!"

"Uh…great…" Eugene slowly pushed his face away from his body, his mouth forming a nervous smile.

"You look uncomfortable."

"Gee, I wonder why!" he rubbing a hand down his face, not opening his eyes, "Do you greet every new prince by inspecting his clothes?"

"No, none of our clothes have been so interesting before." Adam replied.

"We're all flat!" Aladdin added, pointing to his own hat.

"Well, congrats to me," Eugene said, making an exaggerated smile and holding two thumbs up, "That doesn't mean you can invade my bubble like that!" He moved his hands up in down beside his body, demonstrating his "bubble."

"Sorry, my friend." Phillip tipped his cap, "Sometimes we get carried away."

"A lot?" Eugene asked, turning up his eyebrows.

"Oh, yes." Naveen threw an arm around his shoulders with a light smirk, "This is a crazy life here. You better be prepared."

"Just phenomenal." Eugene slumped his shoulders, blowing a strand of hair out of his face.

This was going to be difficult.