Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note

Chapter 23: Matt

"Nothing works, Light. I've tried everything."

"Something has to work eventually, Misa. If not, we're going to have to transfer him."

"I don't know, Light." Misa sighed. "He was never this bad, ever. Even when he first came here, he had more hope. I think he's given up."

"He can't give up. If he gives up now, I'm afraid that his condition will deteriorate faster."

"Should we call Mello?"

"I don't know. Do you think he'd want to see Matt? Do you think he'd even believe us?"

"We can try. I just don't want him to get worse."

"Neither do I."

"I'll make the call tonight. Mello should be out of class soon."

"Please do."

"Light, I won't see him." I was facing the window, and could see the reflection of him standing near the door. He looked tired, like my issues had finally caught up to him. I was waiting for him to tell me that it was enough, and that he couldn't deal with me anymore. Just like everyone else couldn't deal with me.

"Matt, stop being such a stubborn ass. You're the one who's hurting here, and I know he is, too. Come off your high horse and just see him."

"What happened to being my friend, Light?" My voice was hard.

"I'm also your doctor. And what you're doing to yourself isn't helping your health. Wasn't it you who said earlier in this week that you didn't want to die? Then start acting like it."

I sat up and faced him. "You're horrible! You don't know what I'm going through, do you?! How can you think this is easy for me, when it's the hardest thing I've ever done? I don't want to push him away, but I have to!"

"And why is that, Matt? What's so wrong about keeping him with you?"

"Because I'm dying, Light! I'm dying and I'll fucking leave him! How is that fair at all? I can't do that to him! Everyone else has already left—my family, my friends. They've already given up. He was the only one that hadn't yet."

"What about Misa, Naomi, and I?"

"I'm your job. You can't give up."

Light came forward and grabbed my arm. I hissed at his grip, and he tightened it slightly. His eyes were narrowed and furious.

"Don't you ever, ever say that again Mail," Light growled at me. "We're not here because we want to be paid. We're here because we care, and we're not giving up on you." He let go of my arm and took a step back. I cradled my arm with my chest. "Now," he continued, "you can either stay here and rot in this room, or you can man up and see Mello. What'll it be, Matt?"

I was silent.

Light sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Don't do this, Matt. Not to me. You're right, everyone else has left. But we—Misa, Naomi, and I—we haven't. And no matter how much you yell at us, or how much you try to get us to go, we won't. We're here to help you, and that's what we'll do."

"Why?" I asked timidly. "I'm a lost cause."

"How many times have we been over this, Matt? You're not a lost cause, not at all. To me, you're the most worthy cause yet." He laughed. "You know, the first thing they teach us is to not get attached to the patients. Because what good will that do when they leave, or they die?"

His words stung me. I knew this was directed to me, and it hurt. "Sorry," I whispered to myself.

"I had done a good job of keeping professional with all of my patients," he continued, not hearing me, "until I met you."

I turned over to look at him. He was leaning against the wall a few feet from my bed. He was looking down at his hands, like this confession was meant for them and them alone. I felt tears prick my eyes. I never really knew how much he cared about me, not with all the grief I had given him. I was still surprised that he hadn't given up on me much earlier, and I realized now that he was going to stay in it for the long run.

"When you first came in, Matt, you were the most rude, obnoxious, foul-mouthed boy ever. You still are. The only difference between now and then was that you still had hope. Why give it up? We're doing our best, so you should, too."

"Light..." I didn't know what to say to him.

"It's true, Matty." Misa stood in the doorway, her bottom lip quivering as she held in tears. "You're the best friend I could've ever gotten on this job. I'll miss you if you leave me. So you have to get better, all right? Light and I can't get married in the hospital, not with the lack of color in here."

"Misa..." Light glared at her.

"We're going to have a nice big wedding out by the beach, and you have to come. So you've got to get better, or else we can't have our wedding. Right?" She looked at me with tears in her eyes. "Please get better."

"I'm just so tired, Misa," I said. "Tired of not knowing when the next time I'll be sick is. When the next time I'll see my sister. What my friends have done since they moved on without me. I just want it all to go away. I want to sleep, and to never wake up."

"You have to wake up, Matty. Or else you'll never find these things out, will you? What about your sister? She's still holding on for you to get out of the hospital. She misses you so much, and she worries about you. We all do. So you have to stay strong, because we're staying strong for you."

Light nodded. "It's true, Matt. You're the only thing that's keeping us going. Stay strong, Matt. Stay strong."

I couldn't handle it anymore. With Light's last words on my mind, I drifted into a restless sleep.

A/N:

Ugh, lame ending is lame. But the good news is that this was at least three-hundred words more than the last chapter. :D ...which excites me more than anyone else.

And I don't know what else to say besides thank you to all that have stuck with me this far, because I'm such a lousy updater and my motivation really sucks. .. I'm going to end the A/N here, and attempt to start the next chapter. Till next time, which shouldn't be as long of a break. Hopefully.