Don't wait to make your ward a great man- he needs to be a great boy first.

Youth is a wonderful thing. It's a shame it's wasted on bumbling wards!

The only thing I looked forward to about growing old was the wisdom that comes with it- but then I met Merlin, and felt incredibly cheated.

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

Growing old has to happen. Growing up is another matter.

The best thing about old age is that you can be incredibly hypocritical and get away with it.

I admit it. I once had short hair… I know. Shocking.

When life gives you lemons, tell it Merlin gets better stuff when he collects herbs- and that's saying something.

'If you don't go to bed now your eyes will need matchsticks to keep them open!'

'If you fall down and break your leg, don't come running to me.'

'Wipe that look off your face and do something useful!'

It's always darkest before dawn- if you're going to steal Uther's newspaper, do it then.

I have never killed a man- but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.

Princess, having sufficient experience with prince, seeks frog.

The surest sign that there is intelligent life somewhere in the universe is that it's never tried to contact us before.

Life is a long process of getting tired.

Life is like a tin of sardines. We're too busy searching for the tin opener.

I swear I had less wrinkles on Tuesday... (If you don't get it, try and remember what day Merlin arrived in Camelot…)

It's good to be part of both the past and the future. I'm glad I'm part of now.

Sometimes, when you're stuck in old age, the only thing you want is to be able to walk into a tavern without everyone staring…

'I am not old, Merlin. I may call myself that, but you most certainly cannot!'

Never become best friends with a king that is quite happy to kill your kind. You can never turn him into a toad ever again…

Are YOUR druid friends angry at you? ADOPT EMRYS TODAY!

'I'm getting too old for this.'

'SHUT UP, Uther!' "Yes, sire."

Never over-praise. A simple well done is good enough for Emrys.

When a ward gets annoying, clip him round the ear.

Make sure the younger generation never make your mistakes.

Never worry about Merlin's room getting destroyed. It already has multiple times.

If anything bad ever happens… 'Must have been a goblin, sire.'

Okay. *ducks flying goblets with a wince* I might not have updated for ages. I'M SORRY. I got caught up and forgot about this. Then I found the first half of this somewhere on my laptop… *grimace* I'm sorry, guys. I'll make it up to you!

I will continue this, even though Gaius was a very difficult character. If you have any quotes you think would go much better… TELL ME PLEASE! If you have any requests for characters, just tell me and I'll put it on the list.

Next time- Uther…