The great switch

Rel 1.1

By Pizzigri

Disclaimer: Urusei Yatsura and all characters (C) Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan/Kitty.

Something a bit more in line with UY, and slightly less OOC than what I have done in the past! Still too serious though, but I really can't help it, so bear with me…

This time I want to deal with a situation that has already been explored in the manga, the anime and even in other fanfics many times. It is an alternate universe in relation to the other fanfics I wrote, but I assume a similar past and behavior of Lum and her friends… also slightly more spicy.

Check frequently on my profile to see status of my stories!

Please do comment, and maybe I can learn to write a bit better next time. Thank you!

It is Friday night, and Ataru Moroboshi and his self appointed alien Oni wife, Lum Invader, are coming back to from school. Ataru is walking with both his hands in his pockets, and she's slowly floating by him.

"Darling…"

Silence.

"Darling…"

"What do you want Lum?"

"I wanted to ask you something…"

"I knew it. When you're so sweet looking, and blink your nice, big blue eyes like that… you want to ask me something!"

"Darling…"

"Yes! OK! What do you want!"

"I… would like to go and visit Oyuki, on Neptune. She asked me to go since it's at least a couple months we don't see each other… last time it was during our second tag game. The one in which you told me that you'll never forget me…"

"Every time you recall that game race, you make sure to remind me those words. It makes it near darn impossible, to forget you, you know! You still have not asked me what you want."

"W-well… I wanted to go."

"Are you asking me for permission? You're joking, right? Of course you can go! For all that I care!"

"But… Darling, please, please! Promise me, you will not go girlhunting!"

Ataru cracks a large grin.

"Of course! I wouldn't risk hurting you!"

Lum hugs him.

"Oh Darling! Thank you, I love you so much!"

Boy, Lum, you're so-o-o gullible!

…

Saturday morning, Ataru is waked up by Lum, already dressed.

"Darling…"

"Hmmmmm"

"I'm going. Please, remember the promise you made… no girlhunting. Please… I will miss you so much."

"Gawds, Lum, you're visiting Oyuki for less than a couple of days, you'll be back tomorrow night!"

"Yes, Darling. I will miss you terribly. Two days will be all eternity to me. I love you."

She kisses him on the cheek.

Lum stares at him, her great blue eyes locking on his own. A tear falls.

She hugs him and holds him tight, then flies away out of the window, her spaceship hovering a few feet above the roof.

In a minute, she's gone.

Ataru has a sad expression on his face… for a few seconds more.

Then…

"YAAAAHHHHYYY! Yesss! She's gone! For two days! I can go girlhunting as much as I want! Yeah!"

Ataru wears his casual clothing in record time and runs outside, while a sleepy Ten floats out of the closet.

"What the hell is all the commotion about…?"

For the whole morning, Ataru does not have all that luck. He collects about a dozen assorted slaps in the face, and a fifteen year old girl even calls the police! No new phone numbers and addresses.

Sure, that brunette gave him a good lead, but in the end she managed to disappear in the crowd. The problem is that every girl in Tomobiki knows him by now… maybe he should move down to some other Nerima areas, like, maybe, Furinkan…

He notices a Rolls Royce car parked next to a very fancy restaurant. A crowd of girls is around Mendo, and Ataru cannot help but envy his fellow high school student.

Hey, Mendo is a lech just like me! But, his station allows him to have whatever he wants, all the girls he wants. Bah!

Ataru decides that it's time to go back home, lunchtime is approaching.

…

Saturday afternoon. Nothing to do, Ataru is bored to death sprawled on the floor in his room, his eyes closed and both hands under his head, alone. All of a sudden, an image of Lum pops up in his mind.

A very faint emotion accompanies the image. A… longing, nostalgic feeling. As if… he misses her.

"Nonsense! I can't possibly miss her!"

I'm just really lonely, and even Lum would be company, that's all.

Ten slowly drifts in the room.

He starts floating from one end to the other of Ataru's room, slowly hovering over Ataru's face.

"Hey, Ataru, I'm bored."

"Who cares."

"I said I'm bored."

"Yeah, and I said I don't care in the least."

"Maybe I should find something fun to do…"

Ten starts moving towards Ataru.

Ataru's hand slowly starts moving towards a heavy frying pan.

Everything seems to move in slow motion.

All of a sudden, Ten inspires and fractions of a second later shoots a mighty burst of flames, while Ataru with blinding speed jumps to his feet and parries the flames with the frying pan!

"You annoying little flying flame brat! You think you can win against me?"

"Ha! How about this!"

Another jet of flames misses Ataru, to scorch badly part of the wall.

He flails the pan towards Ten, missing him by fractions of an inch, before rolling on the floor. Ten breathes another burst of flames, singeing slightly a tigerstriped carpet.

"Look what you've done! I'll tell Lum! She'll scold you bad!"

Ten freezes for a second. That's all Ataru needs.

SDLANG!

The powerful hit sends a passed out Ten against the shoji door of the closet. The boy slides slowly to the tatami floor.

"Serves you right, you flying firebug!"

Ataru sits on the floor again, while Ten slowly comes round and again tries to approach his cousin's Darling.

"Don't even think about it." Ataru gingerly plays with the dented frying pan, his back towards Ten.

"Arrrgh! But I'm bored!"

"Well, that does not give you a license to scorch me! It's hot enough outside, I don't need you raising the heat in here as well!"

"What else there's to do!"

"Why, you could go play outside with Kokatsuneko, be his heating element since he's always so cold! Or share a good laugh with Sakurambo!"

"Stop teasing me, you dork!"

"Hey, it was only a suggestion! Next time, don't ask me for help!"

"I never asked, idiot! I made a statement!"

Ataru again cradles the frying pan in his hands, while Ten deeply inspires. All of a sudden, Ten changes idea.

"Hey, maybe I can find some new toy in the Galactic SpaceMarket mail order catalog!"

Every interest in Ataru lost, Ten starts rummaging thru all the stuff that Lum keeps in the closet.

After a little while he emerges with what looks like a panel of dark glass. The panel shines with light, and a whole lot of weird characters and images are displayed.

Ataru looks over Ten's shoulder. The little Oni moves to the other side. Ataru does the same, spying on the panel. Ten moves all over the room trying to no avail to shake off Ataru, still peeking over his shoulder.

"Hey! Do you mind?"

"Uh! Come on, little pest! I'm just curious, I've never seen this stuff before."

"What should I care!"

Ataru heaves the frying pan in his hands. This convinces Ten of Ataru's good intentions.

"OK, but don't bug me! And keep your hands off."

The boy goes through various menus displayed by the glowing panel, featuring weird ideograms and images.

"Why can't I read anything?"

"Because it's Uruseian. A caveman like you is too stupid to learn it."

"Sure, OK. Is there any way to turn it into Japanese?"

"Of course there is. But, you really don't think that I'd tell you how to, right?"

"Aw, come on, let me see what you want to buy. I promise I won't bother you."

Ten looks hard at Ataru, trying to read his intentions. Ataru puts on an almost angelical face. For a moment, Ten could swear Ataru's eyes turned a shade of blue with long eyelashes and a gentle, almost feminine expression illuminates him.

"Pleeeez…"

"By the Great Void, Ataru, stop that! It gives me the creeps!"

They look at each other for a few seconds. The Oni boy reluctantly punches a sequence of symbols on the screen, and all the ideograms turn to modern Japanese.

Ataru stays quiet and observes what Jariten is doing. As the products flash by, Ataru sees for a brief instant something that raises his interest, but keeps quiet. After a little while, Ten is satisfied of his purchase, a holographic projection cylinder.

Half hour later, a spaceship exits subspace right above Ataru's house; a tentacled alien floats out of the UFO and hands Ten a small package, then flies back to the vessel and disappears.

A happy and giggling Ten flies out of the window, to visit Kintaro on his school spaceship and show him his latest toy.

But… A wicked plan kept building up in Ataru's mind. As soon as the boy leaves the house, he retrieved the glass panel, and powers it up. Having memorized the sequence Ten used to turn the language configuration to Japanese he manages to access the main menu of the online catalog. For a good while he rummages thru hundreds of the weirdest gadgets. The pair of rings that attracted his attention earlier finally appear.

"Hey, these seem really interesting. Maybe I should give it a try!"

He completes the order, and waits, reading a Manga. A half hour later, the same spaceship warps out of subspace over his roof, and the same tentacled alien floats out of the vessel.

"You should make up your mind, customer #998566766654, I mean, I got deliveries to do on the other side of the quadrant, next time order everything together or else I'll charge you double delivery!"

"Uh, sure, excuse me!"

The weird alien drops a very small package in Ataru's hands, and leaves, muttering something about those obnoxious and loud aliens from Sol star system. Opening the package, he realizes that the instructions are in Uruseian! Shucks.

Oh wait, maybe there's a way!

Again turning on the panel, he looks once more for the rings and of course, a link opens the instructions… in Japanese.

Well pretty straightforward. For the rings to work, they both have to be worn by each user at the same time… uh, 'be careful, each ring can be taken off only by the user that placed it'. Well, it's grand, isn't it. All I need to do is place this ring myself… he he.

Ataru looks at the two rings with glee. He wears one, and happily shoves the other in his pocket. Giggling madly, he runs downstairs to the telephone.

The small band of metal slips out of the pocket and falls in the middle of his room, rolling right under the window.

"Good afternoon, I'd like to talk to Mendo Shuutaro san. Hey, Mendo. No, I wanted to show you something… No, I'm not talking about nude girls! NO, it's not that, either! Come on, trust me just once! Yes, yes. I know you're busy!"

Yeah, right, I saw how busy you are with the girls…

"Uh, look… well… yeah, OK. Half past three PM, under the park's clock. Good. See you there…"

This is going to be extreme… he he he! Lum is gonna be back tomorrow night, I have plenty of time… plus no one will believe Mendo!

…

Ataru happily walks down the street to the park, the heat of the day slightly subsiding; he devised a clever plan.

Gods, I'll have the girls all for me! While Mendo will have a hard time convincing everyone that he's not ME! Heheheh! And all this, without Lum in my way!

His evil giggle echoes along the streets, neighbors close their windows and more than one concerned mother tells her sixteen year old daughter to pass up going out tonight!

And these rings will work much better than those crazy earmuffs, since I will put it on Mendo's finger, and only I can take it off! Hehe!

Tomobiki's most lecherous teenager cannot avoid but remember the trouble that those alien 'conscience swapper', apparently simple fur earmuffs, gave him a while ago. This time he knows how to make the rings work!

The rings: a device to exchange two people's soul. The idea of switching places with Japan's richest kid, even if for only a couple of days, to be able to hit on every girl in the city taking advantage of his persona, makes him shiver with glee! Of course, he does not even once think about the possible consequences of his deed.

All of a sudden, Mendo materializes, staring at his face. Ataru looks around, and indeed he realizes they both are under the park's clock.

"Uh! Good evening, Mendo! How are you!"

"I must admit that before your appearance I felt much better."

"Hehe! Yeah, sorry, I was just daydreaming…"

"I can just imagine what you were daydreaming about, Moroboshi. Now, cut the crap and tell me what you need so vehemently to show me."

"Eh! Yes, of course!"

Ataru puts his hand in his pocket, but cannot find the ring. He looks in his other pocket. Panic grips him.

"W-where did I put it?"

After a minute searching himself, he must realize the ring is lost.

"Oh, NO! I lost it!"

"Moroboshi, you summoned me only to tell me you have lost your mind! There was no need, I already knew!"

"I… I had a ring, and… never mind, I'll call you again as soon as I find it!"

Mendo glares Ataru with a fierce stare. His left hand's thumb slightly raises the Tsuba of his sword.

"As usual, Moroboshi, you're playing childish pranks with me. You really cannot help yourself, can you. As much as I'd want to, I cannot delve further dealing with a commoner, not even to punish you! You have wasted enough of my precious time! Please excuse me."

The richest kid in Japan and probably the world turns on his cell phone and less than a minute afterwards a black limo picks him up, leaving a depressed Ataru standing alone under the clock.

"No! I can't believe this! How could I lose it!" He slowly walks away looking at the ground.

Maybe I can find it… I walked here, coming from that way, please please please let me find it…

…

A tigerstriped circular spaceship approaches Earth orbit. An automated IFF system manifests the vessel to the planet's early warning satellite system, relaying re entry corridors and flight information, both to military and civilian aviation authorities. The vessel heads towards Nerima ward in Japan, and in scant minutes hovers above Moroboshi residence.

Lum is impatient to see her Darling. She decided to leave early using the excuse that Her Highness Princess Oyuki was too busy dealing with a snow lemming class action against the crystal elks over an ice manufacturing copyright infringement; to the Ice Princess, business always takes precedence… the actual truth is that Benten organized a surprise party in her family's palace, since her parents are away to wage a friendly and cheerful war with the neighboring planet, and was supposed to come pick her up on Neptune.

Every few months or so Benten throws a mixer party aimed to make Lum forget about Darling, and find a good replacement. When Benten invited her, she made so many remarks about her sex life, that Lum had a fit of rage, and almost burned the comms terminal where she received her call.

Make me leave Darling! What nerve!

The beautiful Oni girl effortlessly flies out of the open airlock of her spaceship, now hovering just above the Moroboshi house.

After a polite greeting to her parents in Law, which warmly welcome her, she bolts inside Ataru's room, hoping to find both Darling and Ten, possibly not arguing with each other.

But, a completely empty room welcomes her.

"Darling…"

A sad expression is painted on her face. She walks gingerly around the room, thinking what to do.

Maybe Darling is girlhunting, as usual. I knew he would never honor his promise. He could be in the park, then…

Before she can resolve to again take off to find Ataru, a shiny object on the floor attracts her attention. A ring! What is a ring doing here?

She picks it up. A shiny and totally smooth band of metal, with no stones. It does seem familiar though.

Her first reaction is of rage; as electricity sparks on her body, the thought that maybe a woman has been here with Darling? Girlhunting is one thing, but cheating… No, it's impossible, both Father and Mother are downstairs, they would have noticed it. Maybe Darling bought it to give it to me?

A warm feeling fills her soul, soothing her and wiping away every trace of anger.

Without thinking, she slips it on her finger.

…

All of a sudden, pain and a white flash. For the briefest of moments, she feels Ataru's presence within her. She finds herself in the park, with people walking by and looking at her. Head feels dizzy, and a strange queasiness grips her. She feels heavy, she cannot fly. "What the…"

Her voice!

Then, she looks at her hands. The ring! Rage fills her heart.

"Darling!"

…

A white flash, and pain. For an instant, he can feel Lum inside him. His room; jolting with surprise, he finds himself lightheaded… and light as air! His head hits the ceiling. "Ouch!"

His voice!

OH Gods!

Touching his head, he feels long hair and… and… horns! He's floating in the middle of the room!

Then, he looks at his hands. The ring! Fear fills his heart.

"Lum!"

-continues

Thank you for reading my story! Please comment and review, it is thanks to your feedback that I am encouraged to write new stories!