CANNONBALL RUN 7: HIGH SPEED HEROES by Bkelly95 and the Turbo Man

DISCLAIMER: The same as always.

CHAPTER 14: "It seems there's a distinct lack of relaxed behaviour."

Bullock and Montoya marched up to the Squalo as Jack rolled his window down.

"Unless you guys want to spend the next ten to twenty years in the can, you had better have one hell of an explanation for your driving back there!" Montoya sternly declared.

Next to Jack, Joan had seemingly started to cry.

"How can you be so heartless when I just wanted to see my sick sister?" she wailed.

Bullock looked a bit shocked. "Are you serious?"

"Damn straight she's serious, officer." Jack nodded as he went along with Joan's act. "Her sister is sick with a fever in the Regional Hospital San Juan de Dios."

"A severe fever at that." Ralph chipped in. "We were just visiting Bolivia to see her when we got the news. Her illness may even prove to be fatal!"

Ralph began to feign crying as well.

"There are some people who have good reason to be in a hurry!" Ralph blubbed. "But you wouldn't care about that, would you?! You monsters!"

Montoya and Bullock fell for the trick almost immediately.

"Okay, folks, okay." Montoya said as she made a pacifying gesture. "That was our mistake and we apologize. We'll get you some transport so you can see your sister."

Bullock stepped into the street and flagged down a passing taxi.

As Team Colton climbed out of the Squalo, Jack handed Montoya a scrap of paper. "Here's my cell phone number. If you can get our car started again..."

"We'll bring it to you at the hospital. No sweat." Montoya nodded. "Now get going!"

Team Colton got into the taxi as Bullock spoke urgently to the driver in Spanish.

"(Take these good people to the Regional Hospital San Juan de Dios. And hurry! It's a matter of life and death!)"

"(Senor, if they want fast, they've got fast!)" the driver replied as Team Colton closed their doors.

The cab took off as Montoya took out some jump leads and attached them to the engines of the Crusader and the Squalo.

Joan almost immediately stopped her pretense of crying.

"Smart move, Joanie." Jack smirked.

"Being part of a drama club tends to help." Joan winked.

"Sure does." Ralph nodded.

The cab driver looked amazed as he caught sight of his passengers in his rear-view mirror.

"You're Joan Wilder!" he cheered in English. "I read your books! I read all your books!"

"Oh, brother." Ralph groaned as he rolled his eyes.

At the Four Dragons, Veronica addressed the camera as the Killers got set up to play a number on the stage behind her.

"We just heard that Team Colton managed to turn a sticky situation around in Bolivia, folks." Veronica announced. "It would seem that luck is still on the side of our racers despite the odds they face. But I still think we should all cross our fingers just in case."

On a winding road leading to Tarija, the Capital was racing along at great speed as Dr. Drakken's villain team listened to the broadcast.

"The luck is always on the side of the goody two-shoes teams more like!" sneered Drakken as he drove.

"Well let's be sure we put them in their place, then." Shego smired evilly.

"And now, for your listening pleasure, the Killers performing a nice, and hopefully, relaxing driving song to take your mind off the stress." Veronica added. "Take it away, gentlemen."

Dave Keuning and Mark Stoermer started on lead guitar and bass respectively, followed shortly by Ronnie Vannucci Jr. on drums.

The Capital kept speeding along. After a few seconds, the Peligro appeared on the road behind them as Team Rocket made their bid to pass Drakken's team

Brandon Flowers then started on vocals and keyboard.

Doing all right.
A little driving on a Saturday night And come what may.
Gonna dance the day away.

Giovanni tried to pass the Capital, but Drakken swerved to try and block his way.

"EXCUSE US, PLEASE!" snapped Jessie.

"There is no excuse for you Rocket rejects!" Shego chuckled back as Drakken still blocked the Peligro's way.

Jenny was sweet.
She always smiled for the people she'd meet.
On trouble and strife,
She had another way of looking at life.

Drakken upshifted and the Capital took off down the road, getting a good lead on the Peligro.

"Happy trails, pardners!" Mad Dog chuckled as he gave Team Rocket a mock salute.

"Like that, is it?" Giovanni growled as he pressed the nitrous button. The Peligro surged forward and began to gain ground on the Capital.

The Killers continued the song with Mark and Dave joining in on backing vocals.

The news is blue.
(The news is blue.)
Has it s own way of gettin' to you (ooh-ooh).
What can I do?
(What can I do?)
When I remember my time with you.

Mojo saw the Peligro catching up. "Give it the gun, doc!" he urged.

Drakken shifted gears again and managed to both keep the lead and keep the Capital on the road as both cars navigated a series of sharp curves.

Giovanni was more than able to keep up and continue dogging the Villains Society team.

Pick up your feet.
Got to move to the trick of the beat.
There is no elite.
Just take your place in the driver's seat

Driver's seat, ooh-ooh.
Driver's seat, yeah.

Drakken kept in the lead, but Giovanni refused to be shaken off. Both drivers shifted up and continued to take the turns with great skill.

Doing all right.
(ooh-ooh)
A little driving on a Saturday night.
(Yeah)
And come what may.
(ooh-ooh)
Gonna dance the day away.
(Yeah)

The road finally widened enough for there to be enough room for Giovanni to pass the Capital on the right-hand side. The Team Rocket leader upshifted and shot past the Capital.

Jessie, James and Meowth all laughed as their team took the lead.

"Losers weepers!" James laughed as he gave Drakken's team the finger with both hands out of the Peligro's rear window.

"Meowth! That's right!" giggled Meowth as he pulled at the sides of his mouth and stuck out his tongue.

"We'll see who the losers are!" Drakken snapped as he put his foot to the floor and upshifed once again, getting on the Peligro's back bumper.

The Peligro swerved around a John Deere farm tractor in the road and gained a slight lead as the Capital tried to avoid an accident.

Driver's seat, ooh-ooh.
Driver's seat, yeah.

Mad Dog rolled his window down and got his six-gun ready to open fire on the Peligro.

"I'm gonna show these varmints we play for keeps!" he growled.

Jessie saw Mad Dog taking aim with his gun and reached for one of her pokeballs.

As she got ready to release her pokemon, Giovanni took a wide swerve around a corner which caused Jessie to drop the pokeball under her seat.

"Easy, boss!" Jessie protested.

"Shut up, you preening fool!" Giovanni snapped back as he kept up the lead.

Jenny was sweet.
(ooh-ooh)
There is no elite.
(Yeah)
Pick up your feet.
(ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh)
Pick up, pick up.
(Yeah)

The Peligro stayed in front as Mad Dog prepared to fire.

"Hold it, cowboy!" Shego cautioned. "We can do this!"

Drakken saw an opening and got on the Peligro's right side and started to make a bid to pass.

Giovanni noticed and poured on the power in his team's vehicle as Drakken mockingly honked the Capital's horn.

Pick up your feet.
(ooh-ooh)
Gonna dance the day away.
(Yeah)

The Capital managed to completely pass the Peligro and regain the lead. Giovanni waited until they reached a straightaway and gave the Peligro a boost of nitrous once again. As the Peligro began to gain ground once again on the Capital, both vehicles swerved around the Hellenbach GT as it drove along the road ahead of them at a more reasonable speed.

"Now, that behaviour is just asking for trouble." Gonzo remarked as he drove. "And coming from me, that means a lot."

"You're right about that." Kermit agreed.

Driver's seat, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh.
Driver's seat, yeah.
Driver's seat, ooh-ooh.
Driver's seat, yeah.

Team Muppets watched as the Capital and the Peligro both made a sharp right turn onto another stretch of road. At the start of the road was a sign written in Spanish which had a black spot in the middle of it.

The Muppets looked at the sign in concern.

"I speak a bit of Spanish." Rizzo piped up.

"So, what does the sign say, Riz?" asked Fozzie.

"It says 'caution: accident black spot. Drive carefully'." Rizzo replied.

The Muppets looked at each other in concern.

"Uh oh." Animal moaned. A few seconds later, the Muppets heard the screech of two sets of tires and a loud crash as the Capital and the Peligro obviously had an accident.

Yeah.

Driver's seat.

-"Driver's Seat" by Sniff 'n The Tears.

The Hellenbach drove up to the turn and Rizzo looked down the road with a pair of binoculars.

"Doesn't look too bad." he announced in a relieved tone. "I bet their pride was the most seriously injured thing."

"Even so..." began Gonzo as he reached for his cell phone and began to dial for an ambulance.

Kermit sighed and shut the radio off.

"So much for relaxing music." Kermit groaned.

"Yep." nodded Fozzie. "It seems there's a distinct lack of relaxed behaviour."

The Utopia pulled up in the town of Juliaca. The Drake quickly found the contest location, a stage with a pair of torches burning. "Well, let's see what's going on." he said as he put the car in park.

The other puzzle hunt teams stood on the stage and waited as The Drake, Ron, and Venom walked up. They found Lone Wolf waiting for them.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" asked Fred.

"Vehicle needs some repair work." said Lone Wolf. "I thought we'd do this for a little bit. Anyway, are any of you curious about the challenge ahead of you?"

"Yes, we all are." said Hyde.

"Well, here it is." said Lone Wolf. "Every year, the town of Juliaca hosts a Carnival where the participants dress in costume and dance. That took place earlier this year, but you will be taking part in a costume contest of your own. The winner will receive a head start for the next stop and last place will receive a one hour penalty."

The CM Venga had pulled up to a set of traffic lights in Arequipa, Peru. Clouseau sighed in frustration at the wheel as Cato ate a tub of queso helado.

"No luck so far." Clouseau announced. "These Cannonballers are getting smart."

"That might be about to change, chief inspector." Cato remarked as the Tempest pulled up beside them. Torquenstein was driving with Bam in the passenger seat and Tony in the back.

"Looks like a Cannonballer." Clouseau remarked.

"Canon-BUELLER?" Bam chuckled as he heard Clouseau's accent. "Sounds like an '80s movie character joining the priesthood."

"Very funny." Clouseau glared.

"Seriously, do other French people even know what you're saying most of the time?" Torquenstein joked.

"I'm speaking perfect English!" Clouseau protested. "You don't have a clue what you are talking about, you fool!"

"A 'cleu'?" Tony joked.

"What?!" Clouseau snapped.

"You said he doesn't have a 'cleu' what he's talking about." Tony replied.

"That's enough, you losers!" Cato snapped. "We know you guys are Cannonballers and your luck has just run out!"

"Oh, you think you can actually catch us with your little umbrella on wheels there?" Bam sneered. "Let's see what it can do. Next green light!"

"If that piece of crap can beat us, we'll turn ourselves in!" Torquenstein chipped.

"Very well, Monsieur Cul-Intelligent!" Clouseau gritted his teeth as he tightened his gloves and revved the CM Venga's engine.

Torquensten revved the Tempest's engine in return. As the light turned green, the Tempest took off. Clouseau accidentally shifted the Venga into the wrong gear and it went into reverse.

There was a loud crash as the Venga's rear-end hit the front of the Clover which had pulled up behind it.

"YOU STUPID ASSHOLE!" Denis Leary yelled as he got out of the Clover and began to march towards the Venga.

The Tempest was now long-gone and Clouseau and Cato were in very hot water.

"You better be insured or you're gonna get my foot jammed in your ass-crack!" Denis added as he quickened his pace.

"There's been a mistake!" Cato yelled, trying to calm Denis down as Denis rolled up his jacket sleeves and clenched his fists.

"And you made it, buddy!" Dane growled from the Clover's passenger seat.

"Au revoir!" Clouseau sheepishly gulped as he put the Venga into the right gear and drove off, leaving the very ticked-off Mr. Leary behind.

"THIS AIN'T OVER, DICKHEAD!" Denis yelled after Clouseau.

The taxi had just dropped Team Colton off at the Regional Hospital San Juan de Dios.

"So, what exactly do we do while we wait for those dumb-bell cops to fix our car?" asked Ralph.

Joan shrugged. "We could go to the comissary and watch a telenovela."

Two ambulances pulled in, followed by the Hellenbach.

Jack looked concerned and went over to the Hellenbach.

"Hey, Kermit. What happened?" he asked.

"Team Rocket and Drakken's team had an accident." Kermit replied. "They're both still alive, but banged up a lot. Their cars are being fixed right now, but I don't know if they can continue the race."

"Couldn't have happened to nicer people." Joan chuckled maliciously.

Dominic pulled into a parking lot somewhere in Rio de Janeiro. Customized cars sat all around.

"What are we doing here?" asked Brian.

"Your boy Roman agreed to that rematch." said Dominic.

"Where is he?" asked Vince.

"There." said Brian.

Roman and a hispanic man stood in front of a purple Pontiac G6 Coupe with a custom body kit. It had been given graphics showing a full moon over a bat flying from a castle and the Grim Reaper laying across the hood. The windows had been tinted purple as well. The car also had carbon fiber headlight and taillight mounts, mirrors, trunk, and roof. The spoiler angled down at the sides. Chrome OZ Racing Superturismo GT rims had been mounted to the wheels. White racing seats and a Momo Quark steering wheel had been installed inside.

"Well, well, well." said Roman. "Look who finally showed up."

Dominic and his team climbed out of the car.

"Hey, Diogo." said Dominic.

"What's going on, Dom?" asked the man.

"Still the haughty one, huh Rome?" said Brian.

"Hey, I can afford it after our last race." said Roman.

"Where's the Zenith?" asked Dominic.

"She did such a good job, I decided to give her some downtime." said Roman.

"You broke it, didn't you?" asked Vince.

"He did." said Diogo.

"They said it was a cracked engine block." said Roman. "But enough about that. If it's a rematch you're looking for, the Twilight is more than capable of taking you on."

"Twilight?" laughed Brian.

"It's got nothing to do with that!" yelled Roman. "It's called so for the Halloween themed paint job, not those Mary Sue-celebrating books and movies!"

"Uh huh." said Vince.

"Oh, you want to start a beef?" asked Roman.

"If this beef means taking you on in the rematch, why not?" said Vince.

"What are you thinking?" asked Dominic.

"Are you familiar with the Rio-Niteroi Bridge?" asked Diogo.

"It has crossed my mind." said Dominic.

"You want to race across it?" asked Brian.

"One on one, winner take all." said Roman.

"You're on." said Vince.

"Then it's a race." said Diogo.

They went for their cars.

"Vince, are you sure you're up to this?" asked Dominic.

"I think I handled that girl very well in Antarctica." said Vince. "She was no slouch, too. I think I can handle this guy."

"Just don't get too cocky." said Brian.

Lone Wolf and Hardtop had taken their seats at a table in front of a stage. There was a third seat which was vacant.

"Will someone be joining us?" Hardtop asked.

"Well, these kind of contests generally have a panel of three judges." Lone Wolf replied. "I just don't know yet who our third judge will be."

"Surprise." a female voice cooed musically. Lone Wolf looked to see Mitzi approaching the table.

"Hey, sweetheart." he grinned. "I take it that you're our third judge?"

"That's right." Mitzi nodded. "I wanted to get in on the Cannonball in some way, and Race Central thought helping out with judging this contest would be good enough."

"Have you come in costume as well?" Hardtop questioned.

"No. This is my normal outfit." Mitzi replied. "Or at least it has been since I turned good."

"Oh." Hardtop replied. "For a minute I thought you were trying to look like Raquel Welch in 'Fantastic Voyage'."

In the backstage area, the Cannonballers who were not competing in the challenge waited outside a dressing room for their team-mates who were getting into costume.

"Hey, are you guys ready yet?" asked Velma.

"Almost." said Kelso from the dressing room. Seconds later, he opened the door and strolled out wearing blue jeans, a white t-shirt, and a black leather jacket.

"'Eyyyyyy." said Daphne.

"Wha?" asked Kelso.

"Come on, you're the Fonz." said Velma.

"No, I'm not!" said Kelso. "I'm Johnny Strabler!"

Velma and Daphne looked at him confused.

"Marlon Brando in 'The Wild One'!" said Kelso.

"Ohhhhhh." said Velma and Daphne.

Willy ran out wearing blue pants, a dark blue shirt, a tan vest, and a black cowboy hat. "Uh, folks." he said. "I hate to tell you this, but Mr. Drake's costume is unintentionally ambiguous. I don't know who he's supposed to be, but he's not Jim Morrison. Repeat, not Jim Morrison. You're on your own."

The Drake strolled out dressed as a rock musician from the seventies. "Guess who I am." he said.

Beavis strolled out of the dressing room with his shirt pulled up so the collar framed his face. He held out his arms to the side with his elbows bent at a right angle and his palms facing forward.

"Who are you supposed to be?" laughed Kelso.

"I am Cornolio!" said Beavis. "I seek T.P. for my bunghole!"

"I don't think I was ever this unimaginative." said Willy.

"Here's a further hint:" said The Drake "he was a popular singer in the seventies and eighties."

"I can't stop seeing it." said Velma.

"Where's Shaggy?" asked Daphne.

"Coming." said Shaggy as he staggered out of the dressing room in a black suit of armor with a red plumage on the top.

"Jinkies, Shaggy." said Velma. "You dressed as the Black Knight Ghost?"

"Like, he wasn't so bad." said Shaggy.

"If you say so." said Daphne.

"Hello." said Mason creepily. Everyone turned to him to see him dressed as a clown complete with makeup and hair that looked like fire.

"Zoinks!" yelled Shaggy as he jumped back.

"Hey, hey, hey, it's me." said Mason.

"Are you Pennywise?" asked Daphne.

"Needles Kane." said Mason. "Also known as Sweet Tooth."

"Oh, is that all?" asked Shaggy.

"Oh, you were scared." said Mason.

"I wasn't that scared." said Shaggy. He turned away and screamed again. Then he realized he'd turned to face a mirror.

"Shall we get started?" asked Velma.

"Sure, let's go." said The Drake.

"Are you guys ready?" asked Hardtop.

"All set." said Mitzi. "So, who's going to be the mean judge?"

"Excuse me?" asked Lone Wolf.

"I've studied your Earth reality judgement shows and I know all of the tropes." said Mitzi. "The mean judge, the hopeless auditionees, and the beverage cups not too subtlely advertising a major company."

She set a cup in front of her which bore a generic logo reading "Drink". (Our product placement deal fell through.)

"Will that be you?" asked Hardtop.

"Oh, no." said Mitzi. "I couldn't. I'm trying to get out of that whole utter witch thing."

"Okay, I'll do it." said Lone Wolf.

"Send them in!" yelled Hardtop.

The entrants in the challenge marched out on stage. They spread out in front of the judges.

"Oh, that's good." said Hardtop. "Very nice. Please step to the back of the stage until you're called."

The entrants all strolled over to the edge of the stage.

"Shaggy, you're first." said Mitzi.

Shaggy staggered up to the judges' table.

"And who are you supposed to be?" asked Hardtop.

"Like, I am the Black Knight Ghost." said Shaggy.

"I have to admit the workmanship is very nice." said Mitzi. "You actually do look like a black knight and possibly a ghost."

"I agree." said Hardtop. "There is something rather scary about this costume. If I encountered you in a dark alley, I'd book it."

"Wow, thanks." said Shaggy.

Lone Wolf looked at him pensively. He looked around uneasily.

"Lone Wolf, we're waiting." said Hardtop.

"Shaggy, what is the deal with this outfit?" asked Lone Wolf. "It looks like you got your costume from the local junkyard and just slapped it together. You're also about as scary as a hamster."

Shaggy burst into tears and ran off the stage crying. Everybody else looked at Lone Wolf in shock.

"I think I was a little too harsh." he said while facepalming. "Okay, I'll cut it down a notch."

"Thank you." Hardtop nodded.

"Willy, you're next." said Mitzi.

Willy strode up to the judges.

"A cowboy, I see." said Hardtop. "This seems to be a little unimaginative for you."

"Ah, but I'm not just any cowboy." said Willy. "I'm the Waco Kid."

"Oh, from 'Blazing Saddles'." said Lone Wolf. "I was wondering where you looked familiar from."

"Are you as fast on the draw as he was?" asked Mitzi.

"Go for your drink cups." Willy suggested.

As the three judges went to reach for their cups, Willy's hand moved to his holster. In what seemed like a nanosecond after that, the cups had been shot off the table and Willy put his gun back in his holster.

The judges looked shocked to see their cups lying on the floor.

"Don't worry." Willy assured. "It was only small-sized gumballs that the gun was loaded with. I would never use real ammo."

Mitzi smiled. "You researched the role very well, Mr. Wonka."

"It's a thumbs-up from me as well." Lone Wolf added.

"Then it's unanimous. You did very well." Hardtop verified.

"Thank you." Willy smiled as he bowed.

"Okay, Beavis is up next." Mitzi announced.

Beavis stumbled onto the stage and wandered around twitching and making strange noises.

"Are you okay, Beavis?" Hardtop asked in concern.

Beavis turned to face the judges.

"Are you threatening me?" he snapped. "I need t.p. for my bunghole! My bunghole will not wait!"

"Are you high?" Lone Wolf asked in frustration.

"I will show you my bunghoooollllleee!" Beavis drawled loudly.

"NEXT!" all three of the judges yelled in unison.

Beavis stumbled off, bumping into things as he did. Mason came onto the stage next.

"AHHHH!" Lone Wolf yelped as he jumped slightly.

Mitzi and Hardtop looked at him in surprise.

"Sorry." Lone Wolf apologized. "I just have this thing about clowns."

"Doesn't everybody?" Mason inquired.

"And the fact that you're trying to look like a scary clown didn't help." Lone Wolf added.

"He's supposed to be scary. He's Sweet Tooth." Hardtop confirmed.

"Oh, from the 'Twisted Metal' games." Mitzi stated as she realized this fact.

"Now, this one IS scary." Lone Wolf nodded. "You did a great job there, Mason."

"I hope I didn't scare you too much." Mason replied.

"It's okay." Lone Wolf nodded. "Good job."

Mitzi and Hardtop nodded in agreement.

"Alright, Mr. Drake is next." Hardtop announced.

The Drake walked on and the three judges looked at him in confusion.

"O...kay." Mitzi said in uncertainty. "We can tell you're supposed to be a rocker from the '70's, but which one?"

"Isn't it obvious?" The Drake asked.

"Uh...no. That's why I'm asking you." Mitzi patiently added.

"I think he's one of the Allman Brothers." Hardtop chipped in as he tilted his head slightly. "Duane Allman, right?"

"No, he's Tom Petty. I think." Lone Wolf added as he also inclined his head a bit.

"No, I'm not." the Drake said testily.

"There's no need for the attitude." Mitzi chastised. "It's not our fault you couldn't be bothered making your costume more distinct and turning this into some foolish guessing game for us."

"But..." the Drake began.

"The only 'but' here is yours, which you're going to get off the stage now and let Kelso on." Lone Wolf stated. "Be grateful we don't just give you the penalty for wasting our time like that."

The Drake huffed and stomped off the stage. Kelso finally walked on.

The three judges smiled and all gave two thumbs-up to him.

"'EYYYYYYY!" they all chorused.

Kelso's face fell and he stepped backwards a bit, brushing against one of the torches as he did so.

"Careful." Mitzi cautioned.

"Sorry." Kelso grumbled.

"There's no need for you to be a grouch either." Lone Wolf warned.

"Now, Kelso." said Hardtop. "Kelso, you're on fire."

"Really?" asked Kelso. "I didn't think I was doing that well."

"No, Kelso." said Lone Wolf. "You are seriously on fire."

"Oh, yeah." said Kelso. "And I thought I was doing bad when you couldn't figure out who I was."

"Kelso, you're burning!" yelled Mitzi.

Kelso finally realized that when he'd backed into the torch, it had lit his jacket on fire. "Which way is the lake?" he asked.

The judges pointed.

"Thank you." said Kelso. He took off running in the direction they'd pointed.

"Stay away from the trees!" yelled Lone Wolf.

"Unbelievable." said Hyde from backstage. "Kelso gave himself a burn."

Dr. Drakken and his team lay in beds in a ward of the Regional Hospital. They by and large were covered in bandages and had arms and legs held up in harnesses. Team Colton held open a laptop which displayed J.J. and Victor back at the Four Dragons.

"Judging by the looks of you guys, there's only one option left." J.J. sighed as he pressed a button. On a screen behind him, the image of the Capital got the D.N.F. message displayed across it.

"Oh, COME ON!" groaned Shego.

"It's more important that you guys take the time to heal up." Victor chipped in. "You were very lucky not to have been killed."

"If this is luck, give me disaster!" Mojo grumbled.

"Now how about Team Rocket?" J.J. asked.

"Have a look for yourself." said Joan as she turned the laptop around to show Team Rocket standing nearby.

The four villains had a few Band Aids covering minor injuries, but generally looked none the worse for wear.

J.J. whistled in admiration. "You guys must be really tough."

"It's probably because of how often we've been blasted off by the Twerps and that blasted Pikachu." James grinned. "That kind of thing happening on a near-daily basis tends to toughen a person up."

"Okay, then. You guys can continue with the Cannonball." Victor remarked. "I take it that Kermit gave you the number of the garage that's fixing up the Peligro?"

"Yes. When it's all repaired, we'll go pick it up and be on our merry way." smirked Jessie.

"Okay. Good luck to you, guys. Catch ya later." said J.J. as he ended the transmission.

Jack's cellphone rang and he answered it.

"Hi. It's fixed and outside?" he said into the phone. "Thank you very much, officers. Yes, Joan's sister is going to pull through. Thank you very much for getting us here. We will drive more safely in the future, though. Thank you very much. I hope that you catch the guys you're looking for. You're a credit to the force. Yes, thank you. Goodbye."

Jack hung up the phone and gave Ralph and Joan a thumbs-up. "Our chariot awaits in the parking lot."

"They still bought the story?" asked Ralph.

"Hook, line and sinker." Jack smirked.

"Alright, let's go." Joan cheered.

Roman and Vince pulled up to the Rio end of the Rio-Niteroi Bridge. Various racers formed a barrier behind them.

"There she is in all her glory." said Diogo. "And we have her closed down just for this."

A white Gurgel XEF with a sign for Punk Noodles on top pulled up to the barrier. The driver climbed out. "What the hell is going on here?" yelled the driver.

"Bridge is closed, noodle boy!" said Diogo. "Find another way home!"

"Damn street racers!" yelled the man as he got back into the car. "Are you really still doing this?"

"Okay, the race is simply point A to point B." said Diogo. "Point A is right here and point B is the other end. Winner is the first one there. Is that clear?"

"Clear." said Vince.

"Like glass." said Roman.

"Okay, gentlemen take your marks." said Diogo.

Roman got into the Twilight while Vince got into the Rumor. Before Vince closed the door, Brian walked up to him and said "Visualize your win." Then he thought about it and said "Scratch that."

The two cars pulled up alongside each other. Vince looked over the settings in the Rumor while Roman picked up a remote for the Twilight's stereo. He pressed a button.

"Monster Mash" started to play.

"Hey, this isn't 'Funky Town'." said Dominic.

Roman grunted and fiddled with the remote some more. "Monster Mash" stopped and "Thriller" started to play.

"Now we're talking." said Brian.

"Got that out of the way?" asked Diogo. "Good. Are you ready?"

Vince and Roman revved their engines.

"Get set!"

Vince and Roman threw their gearshifts into first.

"Go!"

The two cars took off down the bridge.

Roman took an early lead as Vince struggled with the gearshift.

"I can get this." said Vince as he got it into the next gear.

The Rumor started to close the gap with the Twilight as Roman changed into the next gear. Roman checked his rearview mirror and smirked when he saw Vince behind him.

Brian turned to Dominic and said "Don't know."

Vince threw the car into the next gear and surged forward. He started to breathe easier.

The cars pulled alongside each other. Roman glanced over at Vince and glared at him. Vince returned a menacing wink.

They shifted into the next gear. Roman made the change smoothly, but Vince struggled a bit and fell back a little.

Roman laughed.

"Now I'm annoyed." said Vince.

He floored the accelerator and slowly caught up with Roman.

Roman checked his rearview and changed gears. He found himself trying to force the gearshift into place. Vince made a smooth gear change and pulled into the lead.

"Don't you do it." said Roman.

Vince raced across the finish line half a car length ahead of Roman.

"Who won?" asked Diogo into his cell phone.

"The Skyline, but it was close."

"Yeah!" cheered Brian as he and Dominic high-fived.

Minutes later, traffic had resumed and Vince drove back to pick up Brian and Dominic.

"Things are turning around for you." said Dominic.

"I thought I was screwed when we changed gears the first time." said Vince. "I'm not that used to shifting with my left hand. But I got the hang of it and eventually nailed him."

"Well, he likes to eat and he just ate your dust." said Brian.

Kelso walked over soaking wet with what remained of his jacket. "Is anything going to go right for me?" he asked. "I crash into a barn, I fall down the stairs, and now I set my jacket on fire and everyone thinks I'm the Fonz!"

"Welcome to the club." said The Drake. "These guys keep calling me Jim Morrison, Duane Allman, Tom Petty. I'm not any of those guys."

"Of course not." said Kelso. "You're Dennis DeYoung."

"Wait, you knew that?" asked The Drake.

"Of course." said Kelso. "I love that song 'Come Sail Away.' 'Lady' and 'Babe' are also great."

"Who the hell is Dennis DeYoung?" asked Beavis.

"He's the guy from Styx." said Butthead. "You know, the guys who did 'The Gran Turismo'."

"I knew you were Brando from the start." said The Drake. "I'd have thought it was obvious. I mean, come on. The Fonz? He wishes he was as bad-ass as 'The Wild One'."

"I know, right?" said Kelso. "So, why did you chose Dennis DeYoung?"

"Gotta represent the Windy City." said The Drake. "I figured it was DeYoung or Terry Kath. I wasn't going to be Billy Corgan." He ran his hand through his hair.

"Alright. We've made our decision." Lone Wolf announced.

"The losing team who will take the one-hour penalty is...Team Corvax." Mitzi confirmed.

"Beavis' was hands down the worst costume." Hardtop agreed.

Butthead and Corvax both clipped Beavis around the back of the head.

"Fartknocker!" Butthead snapped.

"Dumb ass!" Corvax agreed.

"So, who won first place then?" Mason asked.

"Having had time to think about it and rethink my earlier remarks, we have all decided that Shaggy is the winner." Lone Wolf cheered.

"Like, really?" Shaggy asked in delight as he looked up from where he had been sulking.

"Really." Mitzi seconded. "You did a great job of reminding us all of your first documented case."

"Well done, Shag." Freddie grinned as he shook Shaggy's hand.

"Alright then." Lone Wolf stated. "The final stop for the puzzle hunt in this continent is the Castillo San Felipe de Barajas in Cartagena, Colombia. We suggest that the teams who don't have to take the penalty proceed there post-haste."

"Right." Scooby grinned as Corvax and Butthead gave Beavis the evil eye once more.

The Licorne drove along a canyon road leading to the Gera Waterfalls near Moyobamba in the San Martin province of Peru. Captain Fury drove, but the rest of his team looked unsure.

"Do you really think this detour was necessary, Captain?" asked Donkey. "I know you said you had a feeling there would be danger to one team here, but it all looks cool to me."

"Trust me. It won't stay that way for long." Fury remarked as they came up alongside the Bonfire as it drove the same road just in front of them.

"Hey there, Captain!" Roger saluted from the Bonfire's driver seat.

"Are you guys okay?" asked Fiona.

"Sure. We've had nothing to...look out!" Tuesday suddenly yelled.

Fury looked ahead of them and saw a couple of earth movers working on the left side of the road. One of them was about to dump a load of dirt onto the ground.

"Oh, boy." Fury shrugged as he pulled ahead of the Bonfire and both cars squeezed through the gap just before the mound of earth was dumped.

"They don't come much closer than that!" Katie sighed.

"Uh, guys.." Roger warned as he and Fury both looked ahead.

A bulldozer now moved towards them up the right side of the road with its plow lowered and pushing a mound of earth out of the road...and towards the two Cannonball vehicles.

Fury and Roger both swerved and once again narrowly missed an accident.

"Crud!" Roger yelled in frustration.

Katie picked up the CB and talked to Team Shrek. "If you guys don't mind, we'll be leaving you now."

"Probably wise." Puss groaned as the Bonfire took a turn-off road up an incline to the right and headed for the main highway.

As the Bonfire turned off onto the highway, a Dreadnok Ground Assault SUV driven by Zandar and Monkeywrench swerved onto the road leading to the canyon and drove down it at high speed.

"What was that guy's hurry?" queried Tuesday.

"Ours not to reason why." shrugged Corey.

The Ground Assault vehicle got onto the canyon road and was now in pursuit of the Licorne.

Up above them in the air, the Dreadnok Air Skiff swooped in for an attack as Zanzibar piloted it, accompanied by Zarana.

"Ah har, me hearties!" Zanzibar cheered. "We'll skuttle these losers for sure this time!"

"Shut up and fire, you wanker!" Zarana yelled as she opened fire with her rifle and Zanzibar fired the cannons on the Air Skiff.

Zandar and Monkeywrench also opened fire from their Ground Assault vehicle.

"I knew there would be trouble!" Fury remarked as he dodged the shots being fired at the Licorne. "At least we got those other guys to safety."

"That's not much of a reassurance at this moment!" Fiona yelled.

"You two lubbers move in now! Take 'em out!" Zanzibar yelled over his communicator.

In response to his order, another Ground Assault jeep manned by Buzzer and Ripper came down another dirt road on the right just up ahead of the Licorne and headed towards it on a collision course.

"Hang on!" Fury yelled.

Lifting the two left wheels of the Licorne off the ground, Fury was able to squeeze the car through a small gap just before Buzzer and Ripper hit them.

Buzzer and Ripper couldn't stop and ended up colliding with Monkeywrench and Zandar, totalling both their vehicles.

"Ya miserable lubberly scum!" Zanzibar yelled. "I'll keel-haul the lot of ya!"

"They're not home free yet, Captain Bligh!" Zarana snapped as she activated her own communicator. "Bring in the big guns, NOW!"

The Licorne drove on and swerved to the left to avoid the Thunder Machine as Thrasher drove it down a road to the right. Thrasher got on the Licorne's tail and fired a barrage of ammo from the front-mounted miniguns on the Thunder Machine

Fury drove for his life as they headed for the falls, trying to keep out of firing range. Zanzibar flew the Air Skiff to slightly ahead of them and dropped down in front of them, ready for the kill.

Fury noticed a small rise in the road just before the Air Skiff.

"Go ahead, jefe. You know you want to." Puss urged.

Fury surged up the rise at high speed and the Licorne briefly became airborne. It glanced off the side of the Air Skiff and forced it into a spin.

"Get this bloody thing under control!" yelled Zarana.

"I'm trying!" Zanzibar yelled as he tried in vain to regain control, but the Air Skiff went into a tail spin and fell towards a cliff edge near the falls and crashed on it.

The Thunder Machine continued to chase the Licorne. Fury smirked as he saw a small gap in the road ahead of them which separated two very thin cliff edges. The Licorne crossed the gap with no problems. But as the Thunder Machne caught up, it weighed too heavily for the ground to support it. The ground started to give way.

"Oh, hell no!" Thrasher snapped as he threw the Thunder Machine into reverse and backed away to safety just before the cliff edge crumbled away.

Fury gave a mock salute in the rear-view of the Licorne as they drove off.

"Bastards!" Thrasher yelled as he picked up his CB. "Is everybody else okay?"

On the lower cliff edge, Zarana replied as Zanzibar lay unconscious near the wreckage of the Air Skiff.

"We're in one piece, but we're a bloody far distance from okay!" she snapped. "Call a clean-up crew and we'll regroup with the others."

"Right." Thrasher replied.

As Zanzibar lay groaning in his unconscious state, Zarana moved quietly over to him and gently lifted the patch from over his right eye. She saw that there was indeed a completely intact eye underneath it.

"I bloody knew it!" she hissed happily to herself. "Naffin' poseur!"

On a roadside near Uyuni in Bolivia, a group of Ironheade troops sat around looking alert. The Killmaster and the Guardian of Metal were with them.

The Asp passed and pulled up to them.

"Hey, you guys. What's up?" asked Cole.

"It's a little thing these lads like to do called an Ironheade Sneak Attack." the Guardian informed him.

"An ambush, then?" asked Westlake.

"You better believe it, love." Killmaster nodded.

"Who are you ambushing?" Joe inquired.

"Bad guys. Wanna help?" the leading Headbanger asked.

"Uh, are there actually any bad guys coming this way?" Westlake questioned.

One of the Roadies handed her a set of binoculars and pointed to the west of them. "Look for yourself, m'am."

Westlake used the binoculars to look in the direction he had indicated and saw in the distance both the Atlasbreaker and Horace heading in their direction, both their engines growling with evil intent.

"I see." she sighed as she gave Joe and Cole a look through the binoculars as well.

"I guess we'll help." Joe shrugged.

"You can set up on that hillside over there." Killmaster pointed. "There's something set up there you can use. Time the release well, though."

"Sure." said Cole as he drove the Asp off the road and in the direction Killmaster had pointed out.

The Headbangers, Roadies and a couple of Thunderhog riders took up position as Horace cut ahead of the Pollution Ministers in the Atlasbreaker. The Guardian climbed up onto the rear of Killmaster's Thunderhog and got ready to act as well.

As Horace got within range, the Roadies unleashed the powerful sound blasts from the amps on their backs. At the same time, the Guardian and the Headbangers on the rears of the Thunderhogs strummed the bass strings on the back of the special motorcycles, sending powerful paralyzing shocks into the ground.

Horace was stunned as he was paralyzed by the ground shock and then slowly and surely knocked back by the soundwaves from the Roadies' amps. The combined effort was enough to make him nearly come apart at the welds. He growled with his engine and beat a hasty retreat.

"So long, wanker!" the Guardian yelled. "I see you again and I'll bite your (bleep)in' head off!"

"We've got a bigger problem now, mate!" Killmaster called out as he signalled the Thunderhogs to back off as the Atlasbreaker rolled into the clearing, with the Ministers determined to obliterate all in their path.

One of the Roadies turned and whistled.

At the signal, a fleet of Headsplitters rolled into the fray. The Headbangers driving them activated their spear launchers. Yogostein had seen this before and laughed as he steered the Atlasbreaker with skill, knocking any Headsplitters that got in his way aside like bowling pins. The Ironheade assault vehicles rolled over many times and ended up getting wrecked.

"You fools can't stop us now!" Kegaleisa chuckled.

The Atlasbreaker plowed through even more Headsplitters. But the Ministers had not seen the Asp take up position on a hillside. It was sitting behind a huge, spherical boulder.

"So, let's see how these guys like being bowled with." Cole grinned as the Atlasbreaker came in range.

"GUN IT, NOW!" Joe cheered.

Cole used the Asp to push the boulder forward and down the incline. The Ministers didn't have time to react as the boulder slammed into the left side of the Atlasbreaker and sent it rolling over many times. It eventually came to a rest at the base of a cliff and some more Headbangers surrounded it, bashing it with their thick headbutts and slowly reducing it to scrap.

"Screw this! We're gone!" Kitaneidas snapped as the three Pollution Ministers activated their teleporters and got away.

The Asp and the rest of the Ironheade forces joined up as the Atlasbreaker was wrecked.

Killmaster and the Guardian both gave a thumbs-up to Team Viper.

The Guardian climbed down off the back of Killmaster's hog and approached them.

"Are any of your guys hurt bad?" asked Westlake.

"Don't worry. They're tougher than the proverbial old boots." the Guardian smirked. "And Killmaster and his guys here can heal them. Ironheade never runs from a fight, unlike those buggers who just got away."

"I'm sure they'll be mopped up eventually." Joe smirked.

"You lot were a great help. Here's a little something for each of you." the Guardian smirked as he handed each of the team what looked like concert tickets. "Think of them as Get Out Of Jail Free cards when you get to Asia."

Joe looked at the tickets in confusion. "Front row seats to see Limozeen at the Budokan?"

"Trust me. If you're as bright as I think you are, you'll use them right." the Guardian chuckled.

"Limozeen are playing the Budokan?" asked Cole.

"Why not?" asked Westlake. "They're a much more talented group than most '80's metal bands. Do you know how much skill it takes to play that keyboard and guitar solo in 'Because It's Midnite'?"

"Yeah, I could never get that bit right in 'Guitar Hero'" Joe agreed.

"Ever tried playing a REAL guitar, mate?" Killmaster asked in a slightly disparaging way.

"Alright, pal, that's enough." the Guardian cautioned Killmaster in a good-natured way.

"Okay, then. We'll see ya around." Joe waved as the Asp drove off on its' way.

"Don't be strangers!" the Guardian cheered as he waved after them.

On the highway leading to Santa Cruz, the Black Knight had pulled over so that Max Rockatansky could take over driving from Jake. Max had just put an empty can of Dinki-Di dog food into a recycle bin near the side of the road before he got in.

"I can't believe you eat that stuff." Jake shook his head in disbelief.

"Where I come from, beggars can't be choosers." Max smirked as he fastened his seatbelt. "Besides, that stuff has all the vitamins and nutrients that a growing boy needs."

"I'll take your word for it." Jake replied.

There was a slight nudge to the rear of the Black Knight and Max and Jake both looked out the rear window in annoyance.

Janice Foyt honked the horn of the Ruiner and then pulled the car alongside the Black Knight.

"Greetings, losers!" Alice Foyt sneered.

"You two probably think you're hot stuff with that face-lifted 'stang you're driving!" Janice grinned nastily. "I bet we can beat you any day!"

"You sure about that, Foyt?" Max growled.

"Oh, you actually remember our name this time?" Alice remarked as she raised an eyebrow.

"I remember anybody who pisses me off enough." Max replied. "You wanna do this right now?"

"You betcha, sport!" Janice cruelly mimicked Max's Australian accent.

"We'll show you a race you won't forget." Alice added.

"Okay. Let's do it!" Max nodded as Alice and Janice put on their crash helmets.

Janice turned on the Ruiner's radio and the instrumental track 'Chase The Ace' by AC/DC began to play as the Black Knight and the Ruiner both took off from their starting positions.

"Is the music really necessary?" Alice asked Janice.

"First rule of riding in a car." Janice arrogantly replied. "The driver picks the tunes and the passenger shuts the hell up and deals with it!"

"Watch it!" Alice cautioned. "You're not too old to get your car keys confiscated when this is all over."

The Black Knight took an early lead, but the Ruiner caught up and got alongside it.

The two cars ran side by side for a few seconds. Janice then shifted gears and pressed her accelerator and overtook the Black Knight as they went over a slight rise in the road.

Max shifted and made his move to catch the Foyts. He and Jake got alongside the Ruiner once more and managed to overtake it.

Janice glared at Max and Jake as they got ahead of her. She stepped on it once again and got alongside the Black Knight and overtook it once more.

"This reminds me of a race I had once." Jake remarked.

The Black Knight managed to catch up to the Ruiner and pulled alongside the Foyts once more. As Max made his bid to pass, Janice swerved the Ruiner to try and force Max off the road, but the Black Knight didn't budge an inch.

Jake gave Max a thumbs-up as Max managed to get ahead of the Foyts again.

Janice glared and upshifted, getting back in pursuit of Max and Jake.

For a few more seconds, the two vehicles continued to jockey for position with the Ruiner gaining a lead only to lose it to the Black Knight a few seconds later.

Max took a definite lead and overtook the Foyts by a good distance and got way ahead of them

Janice made sure to keep Max and Jake in her sights and kept up the pursuit.

Max noticed a small airfield under construction off to the left side of the road.

"Hang on! I've got an idea." Max grunted as he quickly cut the wheel to the left and drove off the highway and onto the airfield.

"You're not running from us, you leather lame-o!" Janice yelled as she followed the Black Knight onto the airfield and got back alongside it as both cars raced down the dirt airstrip.

Janice glared over at Max and gave the middle finger as the Ruiner got back ahead of the Black Knight.

Both Alice and Janice looked back in triumph as Max and Jake were left in their dust.

"EAT SHIT, JERKOIDS!" Janice yelled.

Max quickly slammed on the Black Knight's brakes.

Alice looked confused about that, and then looked ahead of the Ruiner as Janice kept her eyes on Max and Jake.

"LOOK OUT!" Alice screamed.

The Ruiner was headed straight for an earth mover parked near the end of the strip which had it's front shovel slightly lowered.

Janice screamed as well as she saw the imminent crash. She hit the Ruiner's brakes. It was a fraction too late, however, and the Ruiner slammed into the shovel, coming to a halt and crushing its front end completely.

Max and Jake pulled up in the Black Knight and both got out of their car.

They each went to a window of the Ruiner and saw that the Foyts were both still alive. They were bruised and in pain, but their helmets and safety belts had saved them from death or serious injury. Both of them were groaning.

"Janice, if you weren't already an adult I'd ground you for being so stupid!" Alice moaned.

"You took your eyes off the road as well!" Janice snapped back as she held her head in pain.

"You both could take a vital message away from this about being glory roaders, you know." Max chided them.

"I thought being former authority figures you would have known better." Jake added.

"Go screw." Alice grumbled as she gripped her shoulder.

Max and Jake both pulled the Ruiner's doors open and undid the Foyts' safety belts, helping them out of the car.

"Easy there." said Jake as he helped Alice to walk. "You'll be fine."

"Yeah right." grumbled Alice.

"Take them both to the Black Knight's trunk." Jake called to Max.

"Oh, you're gonna whack us now?!" Janice yelled as Max helped her to walk.

"No. We're going to heal you." Jake smirked.

"What?" Alice shrilled in disbelief.

"Don't worry." Max reassured her. "I've learned by now not to ask too many questions about my partner and his ride."

Jake opened the Black Knight's trunk as he and Max brought the Foyts to the rear of the vehicle. As the trunk opened, a warm blue light came out of it.

The Foyts looked stunned. "Did you guys inject us with LSD when you helped us out of the car?" Alice asked.

"Don't worry, love. Everything's gonna be okay." Max grinned as he helped Alice to climb into the trunk. It seemed to be much bigger on the inside than it looked. So much so that Janice was able to climb in after her mother as Jake helped her into it.

"Oh." sighed Janice inside the trunk. "I'm getting the warm fuzzies. I do feel better."

"Me too." Alice exhaled in pleasure. "The pain is going away and I'm a lot less stiff."

"Okay, ladies." Jake announced. "This is where we love and leave you."

Jake shut the trunk. After a count of five seconds, he opened the trunk again.

The glow had gone and the trunk was now empty.

"I take it that they've been transported away because your trunk acts as a teleporter as well, right?" Max asked in a resigned way.

"Yep." Jake nodded.

"Do you know where they've gone?" Max inquired.

"I'm pretty sure that they're safe and out of our way for now." Jake replied.

Mystic, Connecticut...

The Foyts were sitting in the middle of a group of penguins sitting near a pool of water in the middle of an aquarium exhibit. Both women looked shocked.

"What...?" Janice spluttered as she looked around in shock.

Both Foyts then sighed deeply as a boat full of aquarium staff approached them.

In the city of La Paz, the Vulcano drove along peacefully.

As Lara's team relaxed, the Opus suddenly swerved onto the road behind them. LaFours smirked evilly as he turned on his sirens. Slater reported to Banner over the radio.

"We have Croft's team in our sights, sir!" he announced. "Moving in!"

The Opus got right up behind the Vulcano as Joanna looked in the mirror as she drove.

"Looks like trouble." she warned.

"I'm sure we can handle them." Lara shrugged.

Slater leaned out his window with his sidearm and fired a few shots at the Vulcano's engine compartment.

Lara's team looked shocked.

Michaels activated a loud speaker and called over it.

"Lara Croft! You are under arrest! Surrender immediately, or we WILL use deadly force!"

LaFours kept one hand on the Opus' wheel as he fired a few shots from his own gun to prove they weren't kidding.

"I know these CRAP guys are supposed to be overzealous, but this is ridiculous!" Nina declared in shock.

"Hang on! We'll lose them!" Joanna clenched her teeth as she moved safely around the normal traffic which was in the road ahead of them. LaFours matched every move the Vulcano made and kept right on them.

LaFours moved the Opus to the back of the Vulcano and rear-ended it, causing it to spin out.

The Vulcano did several doughnuts, but didn't lose speed as Joanna carefully threw the car into reverse and drove backwards down the road.

Lara kept watch behind them and called out directions so Joanna could avoid any oncoming traffic.

The Opus was now driving forward at the reversing front end of the Vulcano and keeping up with it as both LaFours, Michaels and Slater fired a few shots from their guns at the windshield.

Once again, LaFours matched every move the Vulcano made as it avoided hitting any normal traffic.

Joanna glanced at the rear-view mirror of the Vulcano and saw an armoured Brinks truck approaching them.

Using careful timing, she swerved the Vulcano around so that it faced forward again and threw the gear stick back into overdrive, avoiding hitting the Brinks truck and moving past it on the left side as the ladies made their escape.

LaFours swerved the Opus around so that it blocked the road, causing the armoured truck to brake suddenly and hit the rear-end of the Opus as it stopped, causing a large dent.

Both LaFours and Michaels angrily pounded the Opus' dashboard and Slater hit the back of LaFours' seat as their capture attempt was thwarted.

In the Vulcano, Anna grinned. "I see that it helps to have a black belt in Car Fu." she cheered.

"Maybe, but I'm worried about how severe that attack was. Especially for CRAP." Lara stated. "Maybe there's something going on we don't know about."

"Right then. We'll keep our guard up." Nina agreed.

Somewhere else in La Paz, the CM Venga came to a halt at a red light. Clouseau and Cato had made a detour in the hopes of seeing some action, but none had come their way.

"Just typical!" Clouseau snapped. "The others come across that Croft woman and her team and lose her! If we hadn't been reassigned to the other Cannonballers we would have caught them! MERDE!"

"Don't let it get to you." Cato advised.

"How can I not, you fool?!" Clouseau snapped. "These CRAP people don't appreciate me at all. Typical American assholes!"

They heard the sound of an engine as car pulled up alongside them. Cato glanced over at the other car.

"You're not going to believe this, boss." Cato remarked as he nodded over to the other car and Clouseau looked to see who it was.

It was Bam Margera's team once again. This time, Bam was driving and gave the two detectives an evil grin. Clouseau exhaled in frustration.

"Fancy seeing you here!" Bam taunted. "I would give you the same challenge we gave you before, but we've already seen how you handle a car! Face it, mes amis! You two ain't shit! At least not behind the wheel."

"Seriously, why don't you just get a catalog of retirement homes and find the best one for washed-up detectives who solved their cases by accident?" Tony Hawk added.

Without taking their eyes off Bam's team, Clouseau and Cato got ready to race.

"We'll teach you fools a lesson in respect this time, Monsieur Ducon!" Clouseau snapped as he tightened his gloves again.

As the light turned green, the Tempest roared off again. Clouseau had shifted the Venga into high gear and surged forward. He and Cato had failed to notice that whilst they had kept their eyes on Team Margera, the Darkness had turned out of a side road and pulled up to the lights in front of the Venga.

The two detectives rear-ended the Darkness and came to a halt. Stone Cold and Rob both looked outraged at the damage.

"DUMB SUMBITCH!" Stone Cold yelled as he and Rob angrily got out.

"I'm gonna slug you two so hard you'll go into orbit!" Rob growled as he pounded his right fist into his left palm.

"Not before I've torn your nuts off and put them on a barbeque!" Stone Cold added as he and Rob stomped towards the Venga.

"Double and triple merde!" Clouseau groaned as he quickly put the Venga in reverse and backed it away from the Darkness at high speed.

"Shouldn't we go forward?" asked Cato.

"We wll when we get as far away from those ticked-off gentlemen as we can." the pale Clouseau answered.

Marge drove the Kowalski down the BR-101 highway on the way to Rio de Janeiro. She had just finished downloading the Fuzz Buster software from the Cannonball website. Lisa sat beside her in the passenger seat as Homer, Bart, and Maggie slept in the back seat.

"This should let us know when there are cops around." Marge remarked. "It looks like we've got a straight shot to Rio. Shall we, as they say, go for it?"

"I think we shall!" Lisa cheered as Marge poured on the speed and overtook a white Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG. As the Simpsons passed him, the Mercedes' driver looked rather incensed. As the Kowalski got a long way down the highway, the Mercedes' driver growled and took off after them.

Marge had begun to make a call to Race Central to request some music. She talked to Pink at that moment.

"So, you like my music then, Marge?" asked Pink.

"Absolutely." Marge nodded. "Honestly, I don't know why I always seem to get mistaken for some stick-in-the-mud. I have a sense of humour too!"

Marge had not noticed the Mercedes coming up behind the Kowalski at high speed. The white exotic suddenly rammed into their rear-end and nearly caused them to spin out.

"WHAT THE CRUD...?" Marge yelled.

The Mercedes got alongside them and the driver gave Marge the Brazilian 'asshole' sign.

"(Why don't you take that piece of shit back to the junkyard?!)" he nastily yelled as he sideswiped the Kowalski and made it wobble. He then honked his horn and overtook them.

"What was that?" Pink asked.

"A typical road rager!" Marge growled. "And believe me, I know the type."

"Are you gonna let him get away with that, mom?" asked a worried Lisa.

"Hell no. I'm gonna open up a big can of whoop-tushie right now!" Marge snarled as she activated the nitrous on the Kowalski and got after the Mercedes.

"I think we know the right song for you guys right now!" Pink cheered as Linda Moon joined her and Moving Violation began to play the music and Pink and Linda began the vocal intro to the song.

Na na na na na na, na na na na na na.
Na na na na na na, na na na na na na.

The Kowalski managed to catch up with the Mercedes. The driver's jaw dropped as he saw the Simpsons catching up. He grunted and poured on the speed to try and outdistance Marge as Pink began singing the first verse.

I guess I just lost my husband.
I don't know where he went.
So I'm gonna drink my money.
I'm not gonna pay his rent (nope).

I got a brand new attitude.
And I'm gonna wear it tonight.
I wanna get in trouble.
I wanna start a fight.

The Kowalski managed to get ahead of the Mercedes and Marge sounded the horn as they took the lead.

The driver of the Mercedes looked furious and began to chase after the Kowalski once again. Linda and Pink both took over vocals on the chorus of the song.

Na na na na na na na, I wanna start a fight.
Na na na na na na na, I wanna start a fight.

So, so what?
I'm still a rock star.
I got my rock moves.
And I don't need you.
And guess what.
I'm having more fun.
And now that we're done.
I'm gonna show you tonight.

I'm alright, I'm just fine.
And you're a tool.
So, so what?
I am a rock star.
I got my rock moves.
And I don't want you tonight.

The Mercedes managed to catch up to Marge and sideswiped her again, pushing the Kowalski into the guardrail, causing sparks to fly.

"(That car belongs in the friggin' trash, grandma!)" the driver yelled.

"(Oh yeah?)" Lisa snapped back in Portugeuse.

Marge sideswiped the Mercedes back, causing some damage to the paintwork.

"(My paint!)" the driver yelled.

"(Your PAINT?!)" Lisa yelled back. "(You nearly got us killed, you jerk!)". Both Lisa and Marge gave him the finger as they once again left the Mercedes in the dust.

Linda now took over lead vocals on the song.

Uh, check my flow, uh.

The waiter just took my table.
And gave it to Jessica Simps (shit!)
I guess I'll go sit with tomboy.
At least he'll know how to hit.

What if this song's on the radio.
Then somebody's gonna die.
I'm gonna get in trouble.
My ex will start a fight.

The Kowalski made good time down the highway and Marge and Lisa began to enjoy the song. The Mercedes had begun to pursue them again. Marge noticed it in the mirror and sighed.

"Doesn't this guy know when to quit?"

Marge upshifted and kept ahead of the Mercedes as Pink and Linda again joined forces on the song's chorus.

Na na na na na na na, he's gonna start a fight.
Na na na na na na na, we're all gonna get in a fight!

So, so what?
I'm still a rock star.
I got my rock moves.
And I don't need you.
And guess what.
I'm having more fun.
And now that we're done.
I'm gonna show you tonight.

I'm alright, I'm just fine.
And you're a tool.
So, so what?
I am a rock star.
I got my rock moves.
And I don't want you tonight.

Marge kept swerving the Kowalski from side to side to prevent the Mercedes from passing or even getting alongside them. Lisa glanced in the back seat at Homer, Bart and Maggie who were still sound asleep.

"Wow. They must have been really tired." she remarked in disbelief.

The Mercedes rammed the Kowalski from behind a few more times, but Marge kept it on the road and didn't lose her cool for a minute as they approached the outskirts of Rio de Janeiro. Pink and Linda took a verse each in the bridge of the song.

You weren't there.
You never were.
You want it all.
But that's not fair.

I gave you love.
I gave my all.
You weren't there.
You let me fall.

As the two duelling cars headed into the city, the Fuzz Buster went off in the Kowalski. It informed Marge that there were police patrols just under a mile away.

"I think I know how to get the local cops to work for us for a change." she smirked as she hit the brakes on the Kowalski.

The road hog in the Mercedes laughed in triumph and overtook them. Marge and Lisa waved goodbye to him as Pink and Linda began the final chorus of the song.

So, so what?
I'm still a rock star.
I got my rock moves.
And I don't need you.
And guess what.
I'm having more fun.
And now that we're done.
I'm gonna show you tonight.

I'm alright, I'm just fine.
And you're a tool.
So, so what?.
I am a rock star.
I got my rock moves.
And I don't want you tonight.

The Mercedes driver sped along, looking very pleased with himself for beating Marge. His smile faded when about six squad cars pulled out of a sideroad and got on his case. He tried to outrun them, but six more cop cars pulled out of the street in front of him and two SWAT vans came from the roads on the left and right. The jerk driver had no choice but to come to a halt as the officers all pointed guns at him.

"(SHIT!)" he yelled as he hit his steering wheel.

No, no,
No, no.
I don't want you tonight.
You weren't there.
I'm gonna show you tonight.

I'm alright, I'm just fine.
And you're a tool.
So, so what?
I am a rock star.
I got my rock moves.
And I don't want you tonight.

Ba da da da da da.

-"So What" by Pink.

Marge and Lisa listened to the news of the arrest over their radio. They both chuckled to themselves.

"I guess he had that coming." Lisa grinned. "People like that cause accidents."

In the back seat, Homer stretched and yawned as he woke up.

"Did I miss anything, ladies?" he asked.

"Nothing we couldn't handle." Marge replied. "Especially with a little help from the Fuzz Buster."

"You stopped to vacuum the car?" Homer asked.

"FUZZ Buster, Dad. Not DUST Buster." Lisa corrected.

Homer blinked. "I knew that!" he protested. "I was just making a joke."

"Yeah, sure." Marge mumbled under her breath.

San Sombrero...

The team that was to deal with the coup had secretly arrived in the country under cover of darkness.
Outside the Faro Aguazura lighthouse, the Rug Suckers' van was parked alongside a 2014 Volkswagen Saveiro monster truck. The van had been given monster truck tires as well. At the top of the lighthouse, Xander Cage stood overlooking the harbor whilst the Rug Suckers were with him getting their weapons ready. All four of them wore wingsuits.

"It looks quiet now, Rico." Xander reported into the radio.

"That's because the guerillas behind this little shindig think they've got the population beaten." Rico replied over the comm. "But it won't stay that way for long. Now, do you see the big red button?"

Relayer observed a large red button with the word 'off' written on it. "Ten-four." he reported.

"That controls the hidden cameras all over the country that are used to spy on the people." Rico added. "I'm here in Cucaracha City in the Parque Metropolitano. When you hit that button, get out of the lighthouse post-haste as when the cameras are turned off by anyone, even a clueless tourist, it's considered an act of war. After you hit the button, I'm going to take out the main cameras in the eyes of the statue here in the park. Without them online, the others can't be rebooted."

"Copy that." Arc Light confirmed.

"Just to be safe, Dooley and Ignacio are using the backroads to find and take out the rest of the cameras using that map that Billy Travers was able to compile for them." Xander informed Rico.

"Right then." Rico agreed. "Are you ready?"

"Roger." Figment nodded.

"On my mark. Three, two, one, GO!"

Figment hit the 'off' button and immediately an alarm went off.

"Okay, fellas! Follow me!" Xander cheered as he jumped off the edge of the lighthouse and opened out his arms and legs.

The three Rug Suckers followed suit and the four operatives glided to their vehicles easily.

Xander and Arc Light got into the Saviero and Relayer and Figment got into the Rug Sucker van.

"Be careful with the Chupacabra there, Xander." Relayer warned. "As Rico said, it's tough but not invulnerable."

"I'm sure the same goes for the vehicles the army in this country uses." Xander winked. "We'll just have to wait and see."

"Let's go!" Figment cheered.

Back in Rio, Tommy Vercetti and his team walked down the front steps of a local Bean Machine franchise after getting some coffee to keep them going through the long night.

As they approached the Yellow Bird, there were suddenly screams from the locals as the Duke O'Death roared up and mounted the sidewalk near Tommy's team.

In the passenger seat, Buttons had a machine gun pointing out of the slit in his armoured window. Turbo also had one pointing out of a similar slit in the windshield.

Both of the Empire City crooks opened fire with a hail of bullets towards Tommy, C.J. and Claude. The three team-mates quickly took cover and returned fire with their guns.

Turbo laughed and activated the loudspeaker in the Duke O'Death.

"Bet ya can't catch us, hotshots!" he chuckled as he peeled rubber and left them behind.

"NOBODY takes pot shots at Tommy Vercetti!" Tommy yelled as he ran and got behind the wheel of the Yellow Bird.

C.J. and Claude joined him in the car and they sped off in pursuit of Turbo and Buttons.

As they drove off, they didn't notice Charger and Horace coming up behind them.

"I don't think that's one of our guys they're chasing." Charger remarked. "But I think we shall make things a bit more difficult for them."

Horace roared his engine in laughter as a response and they both drove off after the Yellow Bird.

Meteor Man flew in the night sky above the chase and saw what was going on.

"Time to stage an intervention." he thought to himself.

The Yellow Bird kept on the Duke O'Death's tail as Turbo drove towards the warehouse district.

Charger came up behind the Yellow Bird and fired a few shots from his gun at its rear window.

"Ah, great!" C.J. groaned as he saw Charger chasing them.

Charger picked up his CB and sent a call to Tommy and team over it.

"It is over for you, Cannonballers. You may as well accept your fate and give up." he sneered.

"That guy's voice sounds familiar." Tommy mused.

"You know a lot of people with weird accents?" asked C.J. "That guy's accent was even weirder than that Clouseau guy's."

Charger dropped back a bit and let Horace get in front of him to attack the Yellow Bird.

Horace rear-ended the RUF a few times as Claude fired a few shots at him through the rear-window.

The Yellow Bird got a fraction of a lead as Horace prepared to come in for the kill once again.

Just as Horace surged forward, Meteor Man dropped out of the sky in front of him.

"Nice to see you again!" cheered Meteor Man as he deftly grabbed Horace and threw him up into the stratosphere.

Meteor Man quickly flew out of the way. "I hope I timed it right." he thought to himself.

As Charger drove his car forward, he saw a shadow start to form over the top of him.

He looked up into the air and turned pale.

"Oh, HELL NO!" he growled as he undid his seatbelt, opened his door and dived clear of his Charger.

The shadow gradually got bigger until Horace fell down out of the sky like a rock and landed on top of the Charger, flattening it.

Horace himself was completely wrecked as well. He let out one last defiant roar from his engine as it sputtered to a halt and his headlights slowly went out for the last time.

Charger sighed to himself and took out his phone to call for a pick-up.

The Bisonte had left Rio and now made good time on the highway to Vitoria. Darius drove as Frank navigated.

The CB crackled and Ford Fairlane's voice came over it.

"Calling the Transporter and XXX 2005." Ford cheered. "Guess who's had a load of new mods to his ride since we last met."

Frank grinned and picked up the CB. "If it isn't Suzuki Swift! So, you want a chance to embarrass yourself all over again, Hot Rodder?"

"You may be in for a surprise, guv'nor." Ford replied, mimicking Frank's accent.

"Okay, where you at?" Darius asked as Frank held the CB in front of him.

"Take a look in your rear-view, G." Ford answered.

Darius and Frank both looked in the rear-view and saw the Overlord coming up on them fast. The Overlord now had an air scoop in the hood as a supercharger had been added after Jazz's chicken race in Argentina.

"Okay, white boy. Let's see what you can do." Darius grinned as he put his foot down and the Bisonte surged forward.

The Overlord fell back a bit, but managed to catch up with the Bisonte. As Darius maintained his speed and tried to prevent Ford from passing, Ford shifted up and the Overlord's supercharger and other mods kicked in and enabled him to gain ground.

Jazz kept her eyes open for a window to pass as her hand hovered over the button for the nitrous.

"Steady...steady...NOW!" she yelled as the opportunity presented itself and she activated the nitrous boost.

The Overlord shot past the Bisonte, kicking up a head wind so strong that it made the Bisonte wobble a bit.

Darius tried to keep the Bisonte under control as the Overlord left it in the dust.

"Goddamn!" Darius yelled in shock.

Ten minutes later...

The Bisonte pulled up to a rest stop beside the road to find the Overlord waiting.

Darius pulled in beside Ford and both lowered their windows.

"Before you say anything, I would like to thank both of you for showing me the error of my past ways." Ford smirked. "The Overlord did need a bit of help."

Frank grinned. "Well, we'd say you got the right kind of help."

"Thank Jazz and Don for that." Ford replied. "They picked the mods that we used."

Jazz and Don gave mock bows.

"Well, Mr. Rock 'N Roll Detective, you have well and truly earned our respect. You beat us fair and square." Darius remarked. "So, shall we bury the hatchet now?"

Ford grinned devilishly and shook his head. "It's not over yet. There's still the rest of the Cannonball to go."

"Ford!" groaned Don.

"Well, there is." Ford justified himself. "We'll see which one of us finishes first. Then we'll put the issue to bed."

Darius sighed and shook his head. "You're unbeliveable!"

"OHHHHHH!" cheered Ford.

The Yellow Bird had come to a halt somewhere amid a grid of warehouses in Rio. Tommy and C.J. stood around, wondering where the Duke O'Death had gone.

"You sure we shoulda got outta the car?" C.J. asked Tommy as both crime lords kept their guns ready.

"Relax." Tommy replied. "They won't get the drop on us."

Up ahead of the Yellow Bird, the Duke O'Death suddenly roared out of an alleyway on the left. Turbo and Buttons immediately unleashed a hail of gunfire on Tommy, C.J. and Claude. Claude dived out of the Yellow Bird and joined Tommy and C.J. as they took cover behind a small brick wall.

"Ya can't hide forever, Vercetti!" Turbo growled over the loudspeaker. "Even if we can't smoke you out, we can make swiss cheese outta your ride and it'll be the end of the Cannonball for ya!".

Tommy and his team fired blindly over the top of the wall in the Duke O'Death's direction. A lot of the shots did hit, but the custom Charger's armoured plating protected it.

"We'll see who runs outta bullets first, paisano!" snapped Tommy.

"That won't be necessary." a voice cheered.

"What the...?" asked Buttons.

Meteor Man suddenly flew in low, passed the Yellow Bird and landed flat under the Duke O'Death.

The Washington superhero slowly slid out from under the Duke O'Death, keeping his hands on its undercarriage.

As he stood himself up on the right side of the vehicle, he tilted it up on its side.

"SHIT!" Turbo and Buttons cursed in unison as Meteor Man began to shake the Duke O'Death, causing both hoods to drop their guns.

"Come out, come out, whoever you are!" Meteor Man cheerily taunted Big Boss' minions.

Tommy, C.J, and Claude all came out of cover and walked over to the Duke O'Death as Meteor Man kept shaking it.

Tommy and C.J. stuck their Desert Eagles in through the slot on the window.

"Okay, busters! Pass out your heaters, nice and easy." C.J. cautioned.

"As if!" snorted Turbo.

C.J. fired a shot through the slot which very narrowly missed the criminal pair and hit the dashboard.

"I'm a good shot, dawg." C.J. replied. "So the next one won't miss. What's it gonna be?"

"Okay, okay! Chill!" Turbo conceded as he and Buttons opened the right-side door and passed their guns out to Tommy. Tommy ejected the clips from the guns and dropped them down a nearby drain.

C.J. and Claude kept Turbo and Buttons covered as they nervously clambered out of the Duke O'Death.

As the two crooks got out, Meteor Man reached into the armoured Charger, pulled the keys out of the ignition and crushed them with his great strength.

"Now, what shall we do with you two?" mused Tommy.

"You could take us out for a pizza." shrugged Turbo.

"I think not." C.J. smirked as he took out a roll of duct tape.

"Thanks a lot, Meteor Man." Tommy grinned as he gave a thumbs-up.

"It's a living." Meteor Man shrugged.

Dawn had gradually begun to break just over the Bolivia/Brazil border as Jerry and Captain Pierce drove towards the municipality of Guajara-Mirim. Jerry had taken a break from driving and kept an eye on their disruptor gun as it charged up, just in case it was needed. Pierce enjoyed the drive. He heard a motorcycle approach and saw Highway driving his Turbo Cycle towards them.

Highway got alongside them and gave them a friendly nod.

Pierce gave a thumbs-up in return.

As they kept alongside each other, Highway looked up ahead of them and gave a warning sign.

Camaro and AMX came from the opposite direction on a collision course, driving side by side.

Highway pulled ahead of the Primus and aimed for the small gap between the two muscle cars. He activated the laser gun in his headlight and fired a red laser beam in between the two enemy vehicles.

"Shit!" Camaro snapped as he and AMX veered off the road to avoid getting hit.

The Primus sped on as Highway gave them the signal to keep going. AMX and Camaro overshot Highway and both of them turned around as Highway got ready to engage them.

"You go after the 442!" AMX ordered Camaro. "I'll deal with this jerk!"

AMX ran his car straight towards Highway, who also drove straight for AMX as Camaro went after the Primus.

As the AMX got ready to crash into the Turbo Cycle, Highway activated a booster on the bike's rear-end and jumped over the mobile assassin's car.

AMX grunted and hung a 180 once again as Highway landed and turned the Turbo Cycle once more.

"No more games, donut muncher!" growled AMX as he backed up and got ready to go charging towards Highway.

Highway flipped a switch on his handlebars and a machine gun popped out from the side of the wheel arch on the Turbo Cycle. Highway took careful aim and shot out the front tires of the AMX, causing it to sink to the ground and scrape its undercarriage on the road.

AMX thumped his dashboard in anger as Highway drove off after the Primus and the Camaro.

The Camaro had caught up with the Primus and Camaro was now trying to ram Jerry and Pierce off the road by sideswiping them.

"Can't these guys try a different form of attack by now?" Pierce grumbled as he kept control.

"Don't knock it. It's messing up our car and pissing me off." Jerry replied as he kept watching for when the disruptor would be fully charged.

The light on the charging device turned green and made a 'ping' sound as the special weapon reached full charge.

"Alright!" cheered Jerry.

"Hand it over, kid! Quick!" Pierce ordered as he held his free hand out for the disruptor. Jerry handed it to him and Pierce waited for when Camaro got ready to try and force them off the road again.

As Camaro swerved towards them again, Pierce fired the invisible EMP pulse from the disruptor and shorted out Camaro's engine with a loud 'snap' noise. The villain lost control and his car went off the road and ended up in a deep ditch.

Highway had caught up by this stage and saw that both Killer Cars members had been dealt with.

"Way to go, guys!" Highway grinned as he gave a thumbs-up.

"Not a bad way to start a new day." Pierce remarked in reply as he and Jerry smiled as well as they and Highway drove off, leaving the two villains incapacitated.

In Guajara-Mirim itself, a group of teenagers played a friendly game of soccer in a small parking lot. A couple of their friends stood by their Honda Civic eating some french fries as they watched the game.

The Zentorno pulled over to where the two guys were standing by the car, and Sissy scraped the Zentorno against the side of the Civic.

"(Hey!)" yelled the teen who owned the car.

Chrissy opened her window and pointed a gun out of it. The two teens were terrified. Chrissy pulled the trigger and water squirted out of the barrel onto the two ticked-off kids.

"PSYCH!" Chrissy yelled nastily as the Zentorno moved forward. The two teen got into the Civic and got ready to chase the Zentorno. Just as they moved forward, Sissy slammed on the Zentornio's brakes and caused the Civic to rear-end them. The airbags in the front of the Civic inflated and saved the two teens from harm as Sissy and her team chuckled.

Sissy then drove the Zentorno towards the kids who were playing soccer. The kids yelped in terror and ran as Sissy chased them around the lot, honking the horn and gunning the engine evilly.

The kids all ran up the side of a hill and climbed a wall to safety.

Missy grinned and fired one of their message darts into the wall, with the note written in Portugeuse this time. The three jewel thieves laughed heartily and drove off.

Cucaracha City, San Sombrero...

Along a long street, a battalion of troop carrier trucks belonging to the guerilla army had been made to crash at the side of the road thanks to charges that had been set on their wheels. One remained and chased Rico. He rode a Honda Enduro dirtbike as he fired a few shots behind him at the troop carrier.

"(Take this dirtbag out!)" the driver yelled to his passenger who fired at Rico, but kept missing.

"These guys can't take a joke." Rico grumbled.

"We're right behind you, Rico." Figment announced over the radio. "Can you give these guys the slip?"

Rico looked up ahead of himself and smiled.

"Just watch." he announced.

At the end of the street was a steep downgrade and Rico had spotted a flagpole on the second floor of a hotel just at the edge of it. He put his sidearm back in his belt and took out his grappler. He fired the hook at the flagpole and jumped, lifting himself and the bike off the ground.

The troop carrier wasn't able to stop in time as Rico was lifted two stories off the ground and it ended up going straight down the hill. The Rug Sucker van followed the guerillas.

Relayer flipped a switch on the van's dashboard and a large drillbit came out of a panel on the front of the van.

As the two Rug Suckers got behind the troop carrier, the drill dug into and ripped the rear door off the military vehicle.

The guerillas inside looked panicked.

Relayer then put his foot down and the van surged forward and landed itself on top of the carrier, with the monster truck wheels trapping the carrier and beginning to flatten it.

"These guys ain't going nowhere." Relayer reported to Rico.

"Remember to use tranqs." Rico reminded him. "Sheldon wants these pendejos to stand trial."

"Then it's just as well that the charges you put on their friends' wheels only immobilized their vehicles." Figment joked.

"It's also just as well that these guys used up most of their heavy weaponry already." Rico chuckled back.

About fifty miles away from Porto Velho, the Ignition drove along a hillside road overlooking a lower road below it. Body Drop kept an eye on their sensors as they tried to detect the remaining two robot cars. The system suddenly let out a blip.

"Jesse, stop!" Body Drop yelled. "One of those robo-cars is very near. I think it's on the road below us!"

Jesse brought the Ignition to a halt and he and Tombstone climbed out and looked over the guard rail onto the lower road.

The Firestorm was parked by the side of the lower road as the Doctor and Rory changed one of their rear tires.

"I really wish that builders would be more careful and not let planks with nails in them fall off their trucks." Rory grumbled as he mopped his brow.

"It's just as well we stopped as the engine needs water anyway." the Doctor announced. "But we don't seem to have any left."

Amy heard the sound of a car approaching. "Maybe whoever that is can help us."

"Oh, shit!" Jesse moaned as he reached inside the Ignition for something.

Tombstone picked up the CB.

"Calling the Doctor! Repeat, calling the Doctor!" he announced. "You are in danger!"

"Nothing looks dangerous right now." the Doctor mused to himself as he tried to wave down the car which was fast appoaching the Firestorm.

The car in question was Ivy, who played the instrumental tune 'The Crunch' by the RAH Band over her radio as she swerved and came right for the Doctor and Rory.

"WHOA!" yelled Rory as he and the Doctor quickly dived over the hood of the Firestorm to avoid getting killed.

Ivy scraped against the side of the Firestorm and passed it. She got about one hundred feet away and bit a backwards 180 as she prepared to attack again.

"Doctor, that car is robotic!" Tombstone announced over the CB. "Jesse wants to know if your sonic gizmo can affect it."

"I'll certainly try!" the Doctor responded into the CB as he picked it up.

"Just hold it back from you and we'll do the rest." Tombstone cautioned.

As Ivy did a burnout and roared towards the Doctor, the time lord held out his sonic screwdriver and sents its signal towards Ivy. The robot car came to a halt as her circuits were disrupted and confused.

Up on the high road, Jesse had set up the sniper rifle which the Joes had allowed him to keep and flipped the lever to 'rapid fire'. He let out a careful volley of shots into Ivy's engine compartment and radiator.

As Ivy was slowly reduced to a smoldering hulk, her radio came on one last time. It played the final line of the chorus of Don McLean's 'American Pie'.

Then, the radio fell silent as Ivy was no more.

The Doctor and his team cheered.

"Everything okay, Doctor?" asked Tombstone over the CB.

"It is now, thank you." the Doctor grinned.

"You fellas wouldn't happen to have any water for our radiator, would you?" asked Amy.

"Hang on. We're coming down." Jesse answered over the CB as the Monster Garage team cheered about another threat being removed from their path.

Team Rocket Headquarters...

The second party was in full swing. About three dozen of Team Rocket's grunt troops had joined in and had fun as some '80's heavy metal played over the sound system.

Butch and Couzin Ed looked on as Annie and Oakley played Twister in the middle of the room.

"Are you getting off on this?" Butch asked Ed in disapproval.

"It wasn't my fault that they lost that round of Truth Or Dare." Ed shrugged. "Besides, maybe it's turning them on."

"I doubt that since they're SISTERS, you sick bastard!" Butch snapped.

"Well, right now, they're Twisted Sisters!" Ed laughed as he took a drag off a fattie.

"You spent all day thinking of that one, didn't you?" laughed Domino as she came over with a bottle of Bud Light.

Nearby, Cassidy was speaking to Penn Jillette.

"So, when are you going to do a trick for us?" Cassidy giggled.

"When the other half of my act finally gets back from the bathroom." Penn grumbled as he checked his watch. "I told Teller that it was a bad idea drinking that entire eight-pack of Sprunk in one go."

Elsewhere in the building, Teller exited a bathroom, using a small towel to dry his hands. As he made his way back to the party, he cast a casual glance into Giovanni's office and looked stunned.

In the office, Catwoman had moved a painting to one side and rifled through the wall safe that had been hidden behind it. She already had a bag of loot over her shoulder and put some more money and jewels into it when she noticed Teller watching her.

She put on a smug grin. "Team Rocket are thieves too, after all." she purred. "They would do the same to me. Anyway, I know I can trust you to keep quiet."

She reached onto Giovanni's chair and lifted her whip off it.

"If not, I can put you on the receiving end of this." she grinned.

Teller gulped and turned pale.

"So, can I trust you not to tattle-tale?" Catwoman asked as she cocked her head.

Teller vigorously nodded and did the 'pinky swear' gesture with both hands.

"Attaboy." Catwoman smirked.

Victoria and Veronica drove through Porto Velho in the Evenflow. Masado spoke to them over the radio.

"We got another report of Croft's team causing mayhem more or less in your area." he stated. "Keep an eye out for them."

"Will do." confirmed Victoria.

They saw the Vulcano drive past them.

"Speak of the she-devil!" Veronica alerted as she picked a shotgun up from the floor on her side as Victoria switched on the sirens and took off after the Vulcano.

As Nina weaved the Vulcano through traffic, she and the other ladies saw the Evenflow also moving through traffic and closing the distance between them.

"Looks like more CRAP people." she warned.

"Maybe they'll be more reasonable." Joanna mused.

Veronica leaned out her window with her shotgun. She took aim and fired a blast from the twelve gauge which took out one of the Vulcano's tail lights, narrowly missing the engine.

"Maybe not." groaned Lara as Nina put her foot down.

"Don't lose 'em!" yelled Veronica.

"Ain't gonna happen!" Victoria replied as she kept up the pursuit.

Nina kept moving quickly through the dense traffic, trying to shake off the Evenflow as Veronica tried to get a clear shot with her shotgun.

Nina quickly cut around a car crossing an intersection. She avoided hitting that car, but another motorist was surprised by her sudden move and swerved, hitting the rear quarter panel of the car Nina had avoided. There appeared to be nobody hurt, but Nina winced to herself.

The Evenflow moved around the obstruction and Victoria kept chasing the Vulcano.

"You'll have to do better than that, bitch!" Victoria growled.

Nina made a turn into another street and managed to avoid hitting a moving bus. Victoria took the turn a bit too wide and fell behind a bit.

Nina upshifted and tried to lose the two CRAP women fast.

Victoria righted her car and got back after Lara's team.

Both vehicles moved through traffic to a road under an overpass. Victoria glared over at the Vulcano as she tried to get ahead of Nina.

Nina looked over at Victoria and grinned. She then put her foot down and got a lead.

As Veronica got ready to fire, Victoria swerved around two cars in her lane and tried to catch up with the Vulcano.

"LOOK OUT!" Veronica suddenly yelled.

The Evenflow had swerved into a small section of road which was being repaired. At the end of it were some barriers and a mound of earth.

Veronica climbed quickly back into the Evenflow as Victoria hit the brakes. The Evenflow's front end rammed one of the wooden barriers and then glanced off the mound of earth, scattering dirt everywhere. The Evenflow then crashed through a knee-high concrete partition at the side of the earth mound. Victoria and Veronica clenched their teeth as the Evenflow lifted briefly of its rear wheels and its front end got crumpled by the crash.

The 454 Chevelle eventually came to a halt and settled back on its wheels as fragments of concrete were scattered onto the road.

As the two CRAP operatives made sure they were not seriously hurt, Victoria glared in the direction the Vulcano had gone.

"I guess she did do better than that." she groused to herself.

Guacomala Province, San Sombrero...

The Kolodney Brothers raced on their motorcycles up the road leading to the top of the inactive volcano Volcan Calderon

They were being chased by three hardtop jeeps with guerilla soldiers in them. The troops aimed at the backs and the heads of the brothers but their armoured clothes and helmets saved their lives.

"Good job that Chicago wheelman let us know his secret." Dooley remarked. "These guys are taking this personally."

"What do you expect?" joked Ignacio. "We took out all the hidden cameras so they can't spy on the people or tell where we're gonna hit them from next!".

Dooley signalled Ignacio to go wide as one of the jeeps tried to ram into them. The two Honda bikes got on either side of the jeep. The brothers hit switches on their handlebars and miniature saws on the ends of poles shot out of their front wheels. The brothers used them to slash the tires on the front wheels of both sides of the jeep.

They dropped back a bit and did the same to the rear wheels. The jeep swerved wildly and crashed into a rock face at the side of the mountain road.

As the Kolodney Brothers got ahead, they both hit a green switch on their handlebars and let out oil slicks from a rear panel of their bikes which caused one of the following jeeps to spin out and have a similar crash.

The final jeep kept dogging them all the way to the top of the mountain.

"Damn! They must have Jock Cranley at the wheel!" Ignacio groaned.

The brothers reached the top of the montain and narrowly avoided going into the volcano's abyss.

"That's a lot of garbage." Dooley remarked as he looked into the chasm and saw the refuse that the locals regularly dumped into the inactive volcano. Both brothers turned their bikes around and shot forward as the final jeep narrowly avoided hitting them and going over the edge itself.

"Time to test out those mods the NSA contributed." Ignacio cheered as he and Dooley flipped a final switch and caused skis to come out of their bikes' wheels.

They used them to drive down the side of the mountain and avoid any injuries.

"You don't think they'd be crazy enough fo follow us, do you?" asked Dooley.

They both heard the sound of loud crashes and a vehicle tumbling down the side of the mountain. The final jeep had indeed followed them and fell past both of them as it rolled down the mountainside.

"I guess they were." groaned Ignacio.

"Come in, Kolodney Brothers." Xander's voice came over the comms.

"Kolodneys here." Dooley replied into his helmet's mic.

"We were able to mop up and tranq those guys you left on the road to the top of the mountain. What's your sitrep?" xander asked.

"There's one more group who had more balls than brains." Dooley replied. "We'll just make sure they're not hurt too bad and put them to sleep for a while when we get to the bottom."

"Roger that." Arc Light chipped in.

In the penthouse suite of the Four Dragons, the party that Jezz Torrent had promised Lazlow was still going ahead well into the night. Lazlow was having the time of his life, dancing to the song 'Smokin' by Boston as he had a marijuana joint in his mouth and holding a bottle of Pride Brew beer in his right hand.

"ROCK AND ROLL!" Lazlow yelled as he slowly began to sag to the floor in exhaustion.

"That's right, lad. Take a rest." Jezz said gently as he helped Lazlow to sit on a couch.

"It's getting warm in here, Laz." Willy remarked. "You wanna take yer shirt off?"

"Don't mind if I do." Lazlow slurred as he set his beer down and took his shirt off to reveal his embarrassing chest tattoo.

Lazlow lifted up his beer and took one last pull from it. He let out a loud belch, then a yawn, and promptly fell asleep.

"At long last." whisperered Percy as Jezz took out his cellphone and snapped a picture of Lazlow's tattoo.

"I knew he'd fall fer it." grinned Dick.

"So, gentlemen." announced Jezz as he raised his beer bottle in a toast. "Here's to all that free beer we'll be getting, courtesy of Messrs. Hicks and Graves."

"Cheers." Percy, Dick and Willy agreed as they clinked their bottles together.

The Sorcerer and the Supernova XS both drove along listening to a report that Lara's team gave them about CRAP.

"It's like they have it in for us in particular in this continent so far." Lara was telling Tanner. "Nobody else has so far been on the receiving end of such severe tactics."

"You've got that right." Tanner agreed. "I get the feeling that there's some skulduggery going on."

Nick looked in his mirror as he heard a horn honking impatiently. "Yo, guys! Check it out!"

The four cops saw the Zentorno coming up behind them, and aggressively passing them as they moved to let it past. All four of them recognized Sissy and her team, as well as what they were wearing and driving.

"Could it be?" asked Jones.

"Could just be." Marcus nodded. "Remember that business back in Europe with the bogus 'Cuda?"

"Some bad guys never learn from mistakes." Tanner shook his head as both teams followed the Zentorno, being sure to keep their distance.

"We wait until they try something, then we nail 'em." Nick announced. "It's dim-sum time for those ladies."

"Amen." Marcus agreed.

In the Zentorno, none of the girls had noticed that they were being tailed as Missy spoke to DeMarco on her cellphone.

"We've heard that CRAP have been right on Croft's case with a vengeance thanks to you ladies." DeMarco chuckled. "So, whatever you're doing to blacken their names, keep it up."

"By all means." Missy nodded. "How are you guys doing with the other Cannonballers?"

"Not so hot by my own admission, but Yuri has come up with a little something-something we're gonna unleash on them in Colombia when they should be on the final South America leg." DeMarco explained. "He's going to have the Ugatz and the Slabs use it in the very slim chance that things will go pear-shaped. He calls it 'Death From Above'."

"That guy is such a drama queen." Missy sighed as she rolled her eyes.

"Well, we'll see if it lives up to its name soon enough." DeMarco replied. "Now get going."

Missy hung up the phone. "Ja wohl, mein Fuhrer." she sarcastically remarked in a German accent.

Shawn and Gus had returned to their hotel room in the Four Dragons to go over the information they had gotten from the security guard at the jewelry store and some info Shawn had dug up from a Google search.

"Okay. So, our Ms. Nightshade is a Rafaella Diamond from Empire City who is a known safecracker and jewel thief." Shawn announced. "She has connections to the Big Boss and as far as we know, Big Boss was briefly allied this year with the group attempting to steal the prize money."

"It sounds like you're gonna suggest a trip to Empire City." Gus sighed.

"Would that be such a bad idea?" asked Shawn.

"It will need a lot of green stuff to pull off, Shawn. And you do remember how long we've been staying here and that this place isn't a cheap hotel by a long shot?" Gus chipped in.

"You're right." Shawn grimly agreed. "But no problem. I have an idea."

"Whenever someone in this situation says 'no problem', that's usually the first sign of a problem." Gus groaned as Shawn reached for the phone and called the betting parlor.

Banner and Bender had gathered all the CRAP officers apart from Clouseau and Cato around a map showing the border between Brazil and Venezuela. Amos and Willenholly had now joined up with the group having been given a lift by the Argentinean highway patrol after explaining their actions when they 'borrowed' the Vega to chase Team Fairlane. The Speed Demon and Orange Crush had now also been brought along after they had been repaired.

Banner pointed at the small city of Santa Elena de Uarien just inside the Venezuelan border.

"I know a perfect location to nail Croft's team there." he announced. "There's a four-way intersection near the city. We'll block off the other three routes and chase Croft's team towards us."

"Perfect. They'll have no way out and no choice but to surrender." Baxter smirked. "We'll have the Crusader chase them towards the block, just to be safe."

"Those mods you asked for to the vehicles have been made so we can make damn sure they won't slip away." Bender chipped in.

"Perfect! I look forward to making them pay for the damage they did to the Evenflow." Victoria grinned evilly as she made a fist with her right hand.

"And for knocking us around like bowling pins!" added Virginia. "But I'll take my own wheels this time."

"Can we join you?" asked Willenholly.

"Sure." nodded Virginia as she headed for the Orange Crush with Amos and Willenholly joining her.

"Okay then. Let's go!" Montoya yelled.

"Let's go, Junior!" Buford cajoled his son.

"Huh?" asked the slightly confused Junior.

Roscoe groaned. "Would you stop makin' those stupid noises and talk regular English?"

"Uh huh." Junior foolishly nodded.

"Will you guys move your butts?" snapped Bullock impatiently.

"Movin' them!" Slater and Michaels chorused as they joined LaFours in the Opus.

Banner and Baxter headed for the Speed Demon. All of the present CRAP officers were sure victory was in sight.

Elsewhere in Brazil, the Peligro had been back on the road for quite some time. Jessie was driving and trying her best to make up the time they had lost by going all out with the speed.

The Hellenbach was following them, with Kermit driving and hoping that the Rockets didn't have another accident.

"I think you guys should take it easy." Kermit cautioned over the radio.

Jessie flipped the bird in her mirror with her free hand. "Mind your own business and go fry up some mosquitos, ya dumb lizard!"

Kermit's eyes widened as he looked as furious as he possibly could. The other Muppets were all terrified at seeing him so riled up.

"I! AM! NOT! A! LIZARD!" Kermit yelled in a fury as he upshifted and poured on the speed and got on the Peligro's back bumper.

"I knew it was only a matter of time before Kermit had been mistaken for a lizard once too often." Gonzo groaned.

"Well done, Jessie. You pissed him off." Giovanni growled.

"He'll have to catch us first!" Jessie grinned as she gave a shot of nitrous into the engine. "Time for Team Rocket to blast off...in a GOOD way!"

San Sombrero...

The majority of the guerilla army behind the coup had been captured and were being held in a sports arena in Cucaracha City which was surrounded by force-field generators which Rico and his team had been provided with by the Banzai Institute.

Out in the countryside, Xander Cage and Arc Light drove the Chupacabra and were just about to mop up the last of the troops who actually had tanks in their possession.

"I think we lost them." Arc Light reported as he looked behind them.

"They will be coming this way, though." Xander remarked. "And I can see how we're gonna take 'em down."

Xander drove the Chupacabra to the top of a cliff which had an overhang above the road beneath it.

"I just hope this won't be too much." Xander stated. "Those tanks may be poorly made but they're still tough. I don't wanna kill anyone but I hope what I have planned will distract those guys from fighting back."

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see." Arc Light replied. "Heads up!"

As the Chupacabra sat on the cliff side, the remaining two tanks drove along the road beneath it.

"Guess they don't have the sense to look up." Xander beamed as he activated a switch on the dash which had a drawing of a spring on it.

"Hold tight!" he ordered Arc Light as the Chupacabra began to bounce up and down. The weight of the monster truck as it bounced caused a barrage of boulders to fall from the overhang and crash down on top of the two tanks and stop them in their tracks.

Arc Light checked some readings on their control panel.

"Okay. All life signs intact. We caught 'em!" he announced.

"Now, let's go round 'em up." Xander grinned as he got his tranq rifle and a powerful industrial buzzsaw ready at the same time as he put the Chupacabra in gear.

On a stretch of highway under a bridge just outside Boa Vista, the Zentorno had been brought to a stop by the side of the road. Sissy, Chrissy and Missy had popped the hood and pretended that the engine had overheated. Sissy noticed a black '57 Bel Air convertible with a pair of young men in it approaching them.

She instinctively knew that the young gentlemen were bound to be a pair of horny morons, so she grinned to herself and flagged them down.

The Bel Air pulled over and the two guys got out.

"(Hello, lovely ladies.)" the driver grinned. "(It looks like you've overheated.)"

"(I know we're overheating.") his companion chortled.

"(You're not the only ones.)" Sissy replied in Portugeuse as she unzipped her jumpsuit down to her navel. "(Typical that we get just as hot as our car is. Right, ladies?)"

"(You betcha.)" Chrissy sighed as she and Missy unzipped their suits as well.

"(You're really making our motors run, ladies.)" The driver smirked. "(Is there anything we can do to help you?)"

"(Actually, there is, stud.)" Missy chuckled as she reached into the Zentorno.

The two guys then got a shock as Missy pulled out her gun and pointed it at both of them.

"(Stick 'em up!)" She snapped.

"(Is this a joke?)" the passenger asked in alarm as he reflexively raised his hands above his head.

"(Not by a long shot.)" Chrissy added as she pulled her own gun out of the Zentorno and kept the two dupes covered.

Sissy smirked and zipped her suit up. "(I take it your keys are in the ignition?)"

"(Sure.)" the driver stammered.

Sissy handed him one of their notes. "(Be sure to follow those instructions.)" she giggled as she climbed into the Bel Air, got in the driver's seat and peeled rubber away from them.

Chrissy and Missy zipped up their suits.

Chrissy grinned as she kissed her middle finger and flipped the two guys off.

"Voce foi cagado, bucetas!" she sneered in Portuguese.

She and Missy got back in the Zentorno and drove off after Sissy.

"(The guys will never let us live this down.)" the driver groaned.

They both heard a pair of horns honking and turned to see the Sorcerer and the Supernova XS driving up to them.

Marcus rolled down his window. "(Did a green Lamborghini come this way?)"

"(Yeah. Three crazy chicks just stole my car!)" the driver yelled as he pointed the way the three girls had gone.

"(Hang on then!)" Nick stated. "(We'll get your ride back.)"

"(The one driving the Chevy won't get far anyway.)" the passenger chipped in. "(It was almost out of gas.)"

"(Perfect.)" grinned Tanner as both Cannonball vehicles drove off after the three villains.

Just inside the city limits, Sissy drove the Bel Air wildly. She scraped the sides of the car off any parked vehicles and sideswiped any street lamps she could find to add damage to the classic car.

"WAHOO!" she whooped in joy.

The Zentorno kept pace with her.

Chrissy and Missy were enjoying watching Sissy cause mayhem so much that they had failed to notice the Sorcerer pulling up behind them.

Tanner had noticecd something up ahead of them.

"I see an opportunity for the Triple T." Tanner stated as he got behind the Zentorno and rear-ended it a couple of times. He was forcing it to head in a certain direction whilst Chrissy got distracted by his attack and took her eyes off the road.

"Son of a bitch!" She growled as she glared at Tanner and Jones.

"WATCH IT!" Missy yelled as she pointed ahead.

Chrissy turned back too late and hit the brakes. The Zentorno rammed into the back of a parked tow truck whose hook was lowered slightly. The Zentorno's front end got caught on the hook and came to a halt.

"Tow Truck Trick." Tanner grinned. "Never fails."

Jones waved the Supernova XS on as it passed and he and Tanner got ready to apprehend Chrissy and Missy.

The Supernova XS got right behind the Bel Air and Sissy grinned.

"Bet you can't catch me, stud patrol" she laughed as she put her foot down.

After about half a mile, the engine started to sputter and the Bel Air slowed down and came to a halt. Sissy looked at the dashboard for the first time and saw that the gas tank was now empty.

"Oh, you are SHITTING ME!" she yelled in frustration as the Supernova XS pulled up alongside her.

Marcus got out of the passenger side of the Supernova and covered the Bel Air with his gun. Sissy got out of the Bel Air with a flirtatious grin on her face as Nick walked up to her.

"End of the line for you, sweetheart." he grinned.

Sissy put her hands on his chest and tried to feel his muscles as she looked seductively into his eyes.

"Couldn't we talk this out, handsome?" she pouted and grinned.

Nick looked her in the eyes, returned her grin and leaned forward as if to kiss her.

She suddenly heard a 'click' noise and looked down to see that Nick had just handcuffed her wrists in front of her. Her grin quickly faded.

"Poor deluded child." Marcus sighed as he grinned and shook his head.

Near the border with Venezuela, the Espion was being chased by the repaired Schafter, Cognoscenti and Kuruma. Squeaky drove the Kuruma.

Big Boss got close to Snake and Ethan.

"Right, you guys! Stick it to these losers!" he yelled happily over the CB.

"Please repeat, Big Boss." Squeaky came back. "My CB keeps cutting in and out. I didn't copy all of that message."

Chairman just rolled his eyes as the three villains fought to keep up with the Espion as its booster engine gave it a good lead.

Snake checked out an instruction manual that Bosco had left in the Espion after he had installed the booster.

"Anything to help us out?" Ethan asked. "These three losers are sticking to us like glue."

"Here's something to help." grinned Snake as he lowered the manual from his eyes and pressed on the cigarette lighter button.

A shower of sharp caltrops fell out of a hatch just under the Espion's rear bumper and covered the road in front of the three pursuers.

"Watch out for the caltrops!" Chairman yelled as he and Big Boss moved to avoid them.

The Kuruma kept going.

"Watch out for what?" the uncomprehending Squeaky asked as he failed to copy all of the message.

Squeaky drove over the caltrops and blew his tires. The Kuruma went out of control as Squeaky swerved all over the highway and finally drifted off to the shoulder.

"I'm out!" Squeaky moaned in despair.

Big Boss growled to himself. "I'm never giving that moron such a cool car again!"

The Cognoscenti and the Schafter kept up pursuit.

"Anything else?" asked Ethan.

"Affirmative." Snake nodded as he now pulled the cigarette lighter out a bit. This caused a smokescreen to come out of the rear of the Espion.

"BRAKE!" yelled Big Boss as he and Chairman were blinded by the thick smoke. Both villains came to a halt side by side and coughed as they waited for the smoke to clear.

When the smoke did finally clear, the Espion had long gone.

Chairman glared. "I want their balls on a silver platter!"

"You and me both!" growled Big Boss. "I can only hope that DeMarco's guys are having as much lousy luck as we are."

About fifteen miles to the south, Stingray chased the Streetfighter.

"Time's up for you, biker babe!" Stingray grinned.

Priss scanned her dashboard to see if there was something which could help her. She saw a button marked 'shield' and decided to press it.

A thin, protective energy force field covered her and the Streetfighter.

Stingray caught up with her and rammed into the Streetfighter's rear wheel. The bike wobbled a lot but was generally saved by the force field. The field had also caused damage to the front end of Stingray's car and she flipped over because of the combination of the impact and the damage.

The Corvette went rolling off the road and crashed up against a tree. Priss looked back to make sure that Stingray had not been killed. She grinned to herself as she saw Stingray clamber out of her wrecked car. Priss revved the Streetfighter's engine twice in a mocking salute as she drove off.

At the betting parlor in the Four Dragons, Dante looked at the image on his phone as Jezz had sent him the photo of the unconscious and shirtless Lazlow and his tattoo.

"Just when I thought Lazlow couldn't be any more pathetic." Dante sighed.

"Looks like we owe them that beer, then." Randal nodded.

"Thank God Liquor Ace takes online orders." Dante agreed as he opened a new webpage on his computer.

"I think we should make a few copies of that photo as well." Randal grinned. "Make sure that moron makes sure not to get so shitfaced again."

"I actually think that's a good idea." Dante smirked.

The Vulcano drove fast towards Santa Elena de Uarien. Their extreme speed at this time was caused by the fact that they were being chased by the Crusader and the Scarsdale.

Bullock fired the occasional volley from the Crusader's machine guns and beanbag guns to try and spook Lara and her team.

"This is intolerable!" Lara groused as she managed to avoid the fire being directed at them.

"Come in Team Croft. Do you copy?" Marcus Reed's voice came over the CB.

Anna picked up. "Not now, Marcus. We've got a huge problem."

"We're about to sort it out for you." Marcus replied.

"I thought you were still in Brazil." Anna protested.

"Yes, we are." Marcus confirmed.

"We've crossed over into Venezuela!" Anna snapped back. "How can you help us out?!"

"You'll see." Marcus answered.

"SHITE!" Nina yelled as she hit the brakes. The road ahead of them was blocked by the Speed Demon and the Opus, plus a few local police cruisers.

The Orange Crush blocked the road to the left and the repaired Evenflow blocked the road to the right. They each also had a contingent of local squad cars backing them up. The CRAP officers and the local police all cocked shotguns.

"Where's that music coming from?" asked Anna.

"HUH?" the rest of the team chorused.

"You can't hear some stereotypical ominous music?" Anna remarked in surprise.

"We have them trapped, people." Banner remarked over the radio. "Give them a few seconds and they'll realize it too."

Nina revved the engine on the Vulcano. Baxter grinned as he saw she wasn't ready to give up.

"Time to reel 'em in!" Baxter announced.

"Roger that!" Montoya confirmed as she and Bender shot harpoons and tow cables out of the front of their vehicles and hooked up the rear end of the Vulcano.

LaFours and Banner did the same to the Vulcano's front with harpoons launched from the fronts of the Opus and Evenflow.

Virginia and Victoria fired two more cables into the left and right sides of the Vulcano.

"Stretch 'em out!" Virginia cheered as the CRAP teams threw their vehicles into reverse and stretched the tow lines taut.

Nina pushed the Vulcano's engine for all it was worth, but it did no good. The Vulcano was hooked up with no way to escape.

Banner raised a megaphone to his mouth. "You'll only burn your tires down to the bare rims or fry your engine trying to get out of that, Croft! Make it easy on yourself and give yourself up!"

Masado suddenly came rushing over to Banner holding an open laptop. "Sir! There's an urgent video call for you on here!"

"Can't you see how busy we are right now?!" Banner snapped.

"Sir, these two police officers calling say that Lady Croft is innocent! They want to speak to you immediately!" Masado urged.

Banner groaned and took the laptop from Masado.

On the screen was a live video showing Nick and Marcus along with some local Brazilian police and Sissy and her girls lined up between Nick and Marcus. Chrissy and Missy now also had their hands cuffed in front of them.

"Agent Banner, this is Detective Nicholas Kang of the Elite Operations Division of the L.A.P.D. My colleague and I believe that these three ladies have something to say to you."

Marcus nudged Sissy forward a bit.

"We framed Lara Croft." Sissy mumbled as she looked at the ground.

"What was that?" asked Marcus. "I don't think we heard you clearly."

Sissy growled and then spoke louder. "We framed Lara Croft. All three of us did!"

Missy stepped forward.

"We caused all that mayhem that you saw in that video we sent you." she stated. "We captured some perfectly innocent footage of Croft's team and doctored the video to make it look like they were guilty."

Chrissy now stepped forward and looked really annoyed.

"We changed the licence plate on our car to a duplicate of the one on Croft's car to aid the deception" she snapped. "And like the donut and coffee fueled morons you are, you fell for it."

"Hey!" Banner protested

"Well, if you actually LOOK, you'll see that there are three of us and four of Croft's team." Sissy stated.

"We're all wearing the same color of jumpsuit whilst those four wear different colored ones each." Missy added

"Hell, the Lamborghini we drove, as seen in the video you were sent, isn't even the same model as Croft's if you check it." Chrissy irritably added as the camera panned over to show the Zentorno. "You think all Lambos look alike?! If you can tell a Countach from a Diablo, then surely you can tell others apart!"

Baxter and a few of the others had joined Banner in watching the video. A few of them facepalmed themselves as they saw the Zentorno.

"Shit." Baxter moaned as he saw the Zentorno onscreen. "She's right. That's an Elemento and Croft's driving a Murcielago. We DID make a stupid mistake because we were so eager to bust a Cannonballer!"

"More like whoever came up with this scam made a stupid mistake." Virginia added.

"Damn straight he did." Marcus announced onscreen.

"A green Elemento?" Banner asked, nonplussed.

"Ever hear of a custom paint job?" Victoria inquired of him. "Another case of a car owned by a self-indulgent wiener with too much friggin' money!"

Banner and Baxter groaned.

"Okay! Cut 'em loose!" Banner yelled as he signalled for the CRAP teams to retract the tow cables. Lara and her team looked relieved. Lara was still a bit pissed off as the harpoons had left holes in the bodywork of the Vulcano and their tires would probably need changed soon because of the struggle.

She carefully got out of the Vulcano and crossed her arms angrily.

"Can someone please tell me what the bloody hell is going on here?" she asked sternly.

Banner and Baxter each looked very nervous.

They both pointed at each other.

"He can explain it!" they said in unison. They then both glared at each other.

Elsewhere in the Venezuelan border state of Bolivar, Clouseau and Cato were still looking out for any Cannonballers they could find. But they were still having a dry spell.

"This is really annoying!" Clouseau grumbled as he pulled up to a stop sign. He tensed as he heard the sound of a car pulling up alongside the Venga. He and Cato groaned as they both saw that it was the Tempest once again. Torquenstein was now driving as Bam and Tony slept in the back seat. Torquenstein's mask could not conceal his smug look as he chuckled at the two CRAP officers.

"Why don't you just give us a break?" Cato snapped.

"It's not my fault we keep running into each other." Torquenstein grinned. "And it's certainly not my fault that you two are terrible at your job."

"Tu me gonfles, Monsieur Connard!" Clouseau growled in French, hoping Torquenstein wouldn't understand him.

"Je m'en fou, Monsieur Face de Cul." Torquenstein smugly replied in fluent French.

"RIGHT! That's it!" Clouseau roared as he put his gloves on and revved the Venga's engine. "I'll nail you this time!"

"Try not to park yourself up a tree." Torquenstein gloated as he revved the Tempest's engine in return. Cato and Clouseau both thoroughly checked this time to make sure there were no cars either in front or behind them. As they saw that the coast was clear, the Venga and the Tempest took off at high speed.

As they raced, the two cars were neck and neck at first. Then the Venga got a lead on the Tempest because of its custom engine. Torquenstein put his foot down and raced to catch up.

Clouseau laughed loudly as the Tempest tried to catch up. Then, Torquenstein hit the brakes for some reason.

Cato looked around in surprise and Clouseau smugly looked in the rear-view as the Venga left the Tempest behind.

"T'as pas de couilles, cr tin!" Clouseau cheered as he gave a middle finger gesture in the rear-view.

Cato turned around to look at the road ahead of them again.

"CHIEF INSPECTOR!" Cato suddenly yelled in shock as he pointed ahead. Clouseau looked at the road once more.

In front of them was a group of nuns crossing the road to their bus from a small country church.

"MERDE!" Clouseau yelled as he swerved wildly.

The nuns screamed as they saw the Venga heading for them.

Clouseau managed to avoid hitting them, but sent the Venga into a wild spin as he did so.

The Venga ended up facing backwards and Clouseau couldn't see where he was going. There was a construction ditch full of water by the side of the road and Clouseau ended up reversing the Venga into it, falling down a ten-foot drop into four feet of water.

Clouseau and Cato climbed out of the car and made a swim for a nearby shore.

As they came out of the water, the Tempest passed them and Torquenstein mockingly honked the horn.

"So much for that." Clouseau snapped. "I think it's safe to say that our car is going nowhere and we can't afford the setback."

Cato used his cellphone to call up Google Maps and found their position on it. He smiled in triumph as he did.

"What are you so happy about?" Clouseau asked.

"My cousin Mai-Li lives around here." Cato replied. "She's a big car nut and has a good collection in her garage. I think she can help us out."

"I certainly hope so." grumbled Clouseau as he grumpily kicked a pebble away

The Destroyer approached Ciudad Bolivar as Destro and the Baroness listened to a report from Race Central.

"The Latin America leg of the Cannonball is fast approaching its' end with most of the Cannonballers now in Venezuela." Ron Burgundy announced. "We certainly hope that there can be a bit less tension now as we've heard that action is heating up."

"And now, it's time for some more music." Veronica stated. "Here to take you back to the '80's for a brief moment is Franz Ferdinand with the assistance of Toni on keyboards."

"It's the theme from a great '80's TV show which also happens to be a great driving song, considering automotive action was a big part of it!" Misty cheered.

"Probably another one of those mindless action shows that polluted the airwaves back in those days!" the Baroness scoffed as she drove.

"So, take it away, guys!" Ron cheered.

Toni started on keyboards followed by Bob Hardy on bass and Paul Thomson on drums.

"I thought as much." the Baroness sneered as she recognized the tune.

"Never mind, my love. Just focus on the race." Destro advised as Alex Kapranos began on guitar and vocals.

Slow motion man,
iron and steel in the palm of your hand.
High flyin' heart,
bettin' your life on the state of the art.

Suddenly, a blue laser beam blasted off the right tail-light of the Destroyer. The Baroness looked in the mirror in shock and saw the Aquila chasing them, with Cobra Comamder leaning out of the passenger side window and firing his laser pistol at the Destroyer.

"COBRA!" Cobra Commander yelled in a fury.

"Looks like our dear leader is still holding a grudge about our little joke on him earlier." Destro stared in amusement.

"He'll have to catch us first!" the Baroness chuckled as she hit the gas and went all out as the Aquila tried to catch up.

Lay down the law,
don't you let 'em cross the line,
under the hood got the bad and the good,
everybody is doin' time.

The Baroness kept a good lead on the Aquila.

"Not this time!" Zartan grunted as he drove the Aquila and managed to catch up with the Destroyer. He made a move to ram the Baroness and Destro from behind as Cobra Commander tried a few more shots from his pistol.

Drive!
Push it to the floor till the engine screams.
Drive!
Drivin' like the demon that drives your dreams.

The Baroness quickly swerved around an SUV going in the opposite direction. Zartan just about managed to avoid a collision and swerved wide before getting the Aquila under control again and continuing the pursuit.

"WATCH IT, YOU DOLT!" Cobra Commander yelled to Zartan.

You're on a hard road, nobody cares,
If you hit the brakes.
You've got to think fast, keep it in gear,
One slip is all it takes.
You gotta keep your wheels on the straight and narrow,
If you wanna survive.

The Baroness turned a hard right and Zartan matched her turn. As they kept up the chase, the Baroness cursed to herself as she saw a stalled pick-up truck blocking the road in front of her.

Thinking quickly, she pulled the handbrake and turned a 180. She drove fast back the way they had come. The Baroness gained a lead again as Zartan hung a 180 of his own to continue the chase and fell a bit behind.

Slow motion man,
iron and steel in the palm of your hand.
High flyin' heart,
bettin' your life on the state of the art.

The Aquila soon caught up with the Destroyer as the Baroness kept taking quick turns to try and lose Zartan.

"Why aren't we catching them?!" Cobra Commander demanded.

"Maybe your ego is weighing us down." Zartan mumbled a bit too loudly.

"Zartan, how would you like it if you were permanently reassigned to the leaky suit brigade?" the Commander said menacingly.

Zartan turned pale. "I wouldn't like that at all."

"Then keep your mouth shut and catch those two traitorous upstarts!" the Commander yelled.

Lay down the law,
don't you let 'em cross the line,
under the hood got the bad and the good,
everybody is doin' time.

The G.I. Joe team had stopped at a small cafe near the city and were enjoying some local cuisine.

"How do you think the Cobra teams are doing?" asked Rock 'n Roll.

"Knowing how well they get on with each other, they'll probably be at each other's throats." Shipwreck replied as he took a sip of coffee.

"Who knows? Maybe they've put all that aside for once just to focus on beating us." Clutch chipped in.

Drive!
Push it to the floor till the engine screams.
Drive!
Drivin' like the demon that drives your dreams.

The Joes heard the roar of engines and the sound of laser fire. They glanced behind themselves out the window and saw the Aquila chasing the Destroyer with Cobra Commander still leaning out his window firing his pistol and yelling threats and curses.

"Good job they're doing of getting on with each other." Shipwreck sarcastically sighed.

You're on a hard road, nobody cares,
If you hit the brakes.
You've got to think fast, keep it in gear,
One slip is all it takes.
You gotta keep your wheels on the straight and narrow,
If you wanna survive.

The Baroness continued to avoid traffic as the Aquila managed to get alongside them. The Commander leaned over the roof and got her in his sights.

Thinking quickly, Destro hit the nitrous shot and the Destroyer surged forward just before the Commander could fire at them. Zartan upshifted and kept chasing the Baroness and Destro.

Livin' to drive!

As the Baroness kept her lead, she and Destro heard a warning beep from the dashboard. She glanced at it and saw the engine overheating. A small bead of sweat ran down her forehead. She then looked ahead of them and saw a semi-truck approaching from the opposite direction. As the Aquila managed to catch up to her, she formulated a plan.

The Aquila got alongside them once again and the Commander aimed his gun at her once more. Zartan smugly looked over at the Destroyer, not paying attention to the road ahead of him.

"Perfect!" the Baroness whispered to herself.

Time will tell,
if we're on the road to win,
win or lose,
we won't get this chance again.

The Baroness rapidly upshifted and swerved around the oncoming truck on its right side.

"WATCH IT!" yelled Storm Shadow from the Aquila's back seat. Zartan panicked as he saw the truck and quickly cut the wheel to the left and hit the brakes.

The Aquila and the truck came to a halt at the same time and had narrowly avoided a crash. Zartan nervously looked at the front grille of the truck as it now filled his window. The truck driver leaned out his window and yelled at them in Spanish.

Drive!
Push it to the floor till the engine screams.
Drive!
Drivin' like the demon that drives your dreams.

Drive!

-"Drive (Hardcastle and McCormick)" by David Morgan.

"Not a word about this to anybody." the spooked Cobra Commander warned as he pulled himself back into the Aquila.

In Boa Vista, Nick and Marcus were continued the video conference with CRAP. Willenholly was now onscreen with Banner and Bender. All three of them glared at Sissy, Chrissy and Missy.

"I'd heard that you three had escaped." Willenholly was saying. "I should have known that you would be up to no good once again."

"We just had to let Croft's team go and pay for the damages to their car because of what you did." Bender snapped.

"And as if that weren't enough, they made us give them a very grovelling apology and vow to leave the Cannonballers alone for the rest of this continent!" Banner growled. "We had no choice but to go along with it!"

Sissy shrugged. "It's not our fault you guys are idiots."

"Watch it." Nick warned. "I think you girls should think hard for a reason why we shouldn't hand you over to CRAP and let them ship you back to the States with a lot more years added onto your sentences."

"We have information that could be useful about Jimmy DeMarco!" Missy piped up.

"Hey!" Sissy and Chrissy chorused.

"Well, it was his fault we did this stupid, half-assed frame job." Missy replied.

"You have a point there." Chrissy grudgingly agreed.

"Keep talking." Marcus said in interest.

"He has something planned to take out the Cannonballers when they're getting near the end of this continent." Sissy sighed.

"He and Yuri came up with it." Chrissy added. "They call it Death From Above so it probably involves a Floating Disc. He said they're going to deploy it in Colombia."

"DeMarco will probably be nearby to see it as he likes to gloat a lot." Missy continued.

"Sounds about right." Banner nodded. "I know that Jimmy DeMarco has a safehouse somewhere near Bogota."

"Can we trust you three?" asked Nick.

"You bet! We want that asshole to pay for getting us in the shit we're in right now!" Sissy snapped.

"We should have known better than to trust a man!" Missy yelled.

"Okay. Okay." Banner nodded. "You can cut 'em loose. But this isn't the last the Cannonballers have seen of Cannonball Run Assault Patrol."

"We'll see." Nick remarked as he ended the call.

"Okay." smirked Sissy and she and her team-mates patiently held up their cuffed wrists. "Now, if you don't mind, these bracelets don't go with our earrings."

"Just one minute, ladies." said Tanner as he came over, carrying a cellphone. "You're not entirely off the hook yet."

"We're sure you remember a gentleman in Belize by the name of Hernando Jimenez?" Jones added.

"The guy who loaned us the Zentorno?" Missy gulped as she turned pale.

"That's right. He happens to be an acquaintance of mine as well." Tanner smirked. "He'd like to have a word with you."

Tanner put the phone to Sissy's ear and she heard an angry tirade directed at her.

"Well, you see..." she began to explain herself. She kept getting cut off by more angry yelling. "Will you just...come on...gimme a...you're not...now look...wait a...have a...ARGH!" she groaned at the end of Hernando's tirade.

"What did he say?" asked Chrissy.

"He's agreed for us to be let go. But we have to take the Zentorno back to Belize." Sissy groused.

"That's not so bad." Missy stated.

"But we have to both fix the damages we caused to it and pay for the repairs out of our own money." Sissy finished.

"Son of a BITCH!" Chrissy yelled.

"Well, it's either that or back to the big house for you three." Marcus shrugged. "I think it's a good deal."

The three girls sighed as Nick uncuffed them. "Fine." all three of them chorused in frustration.

A very hungover and now fully-dressed Lazlow walked over to join the other Cannonball reporters back in the Four Dragons.

"Look what the cat dragged in." Misty sighed as she shook her head.

"Don't start with me." grumbled Lazlow. "I feel lousy enough as it is."

"Well, if you can't handle the hangover, don't over-indulge." Ron advised as Veronica looked at her cellphone and chuckled about something on the screen.

"Yeah, yeah." Lazlow moaned. "So, what did I miss?"

"There's some great news to report as it happens." Ron informed him. "The coup in San Sombrero has officially been put down thanks to help from some very talented operatives."

"And here they are with Chris Jacobs to report." Misty beamed as the big screen in front of them displayed Rico, Xander, the Kolodney Brothers and the Rug Suckers with Chris Jacobs standing near them interviewing them. In the background, the stadium holding the captured guerilla army was displayed with the force field being lowered at intervals to allow NSA choppers to go in and air-lift the guerillas out to be tried for their crimes.

"We all owe you guys a huge debt of gratitude." Chris remarked to Rico. "I was scared out of my mind at the thought of being stuck here whilst the coup was ongoing."

"Well, taking care of this kind of thing is what we do, Chris." Rico replied. "It was helped a bit by the fact that this army was rather poorly-skilled with weapons. It turned out they had used up most of their heavy artillery on property damage before we got here."

"Of course, the people of San Sombrero didn't know that, and that's why they were scared to fight back." Xander added. "Some top NSA troops are going to come to this country and teach the populace how to fight back if such a thing should happen again."

"But it was still a tough struggle against the army, right?" Chris asked.

"It was tough, but nothing we couldn't handle." Dooley Kolodney confirmed.

"Is that true or are you just saying that because the news media, rather conveniently, has no footage of you guys in action?" Lazlow sneered.

The other three reporters glared at him.

"I'm just saying!" Lazlow protested. "For all we know, the threat was never that serious to begin with."

"How were Chris and the others supposed to get footage when they were busy trying to stay alive, Lazlow?!" Misty snapped. "If the army found them filming, they would have strung them up! God! Just when I think you couldn't be any more of a jerk!"

Lazlow looked a bit indignant at that remark.

"You really expect me to believe that just these guys took out an army?!" he growled. "Even a second-rate one?! That's about as believeable as Frank Dux's life story! Show me some visual evidence and maybe then I'll be convinced."

Veronica then gave a sly smile as she attached a USB cord to her cellphone and went to plug it in to one of the other big screens.

"Visual evidence isn't always a good thing anyway, Lazzie." she stated. "You can tell that by...THIS!"

She called up the image she had been laughing at and displayed it on the other big screen. It was the photo of the unconscious and shirtless Lazlow showing off his embarrassing chest tattoo.

There was laughter all around the room as Lazlow let out a high-pitched squeal. He began to cry and covered his face.

"DON'T LOOK AT ME! DON'T LOOK AT ME!" he screamed as he hysterically ran out of the room.

Ron, Veronica and Misty looked in the direction Lazlow went with concern.

"I think we may have gone a bit too far that time." Misty stated, feeling a bit of regret.

"I'll have a talk with him later." Ron replied as he addressed the camera. "But in the meantime, Cannonball fans, you have heard it here. The way is clear in San Sombrero so the Cannonball will inded continue into the land down under. So, stay classy, and we will catch you later."

In Guarento, Venezuela, Clouseau and Cato had managed to arrive at Mai-Li Fong's house and garage.

Mai-Li showed the two of them around her large garage and extensive car collection.

"It seems you have excellent taste in automobiles, cousin." Cato said as he looked at the extensive collection.

"It's a hobby really." Mai-Li stated proudly. "I like finding old wrecks and rebuilding them into something special."

Cato looked at one vehicle in surprise. It was a silver Abarth 500 which had been mounted on a heavy-duty frame and had gigantic tires.

"I admit that I do get a bit carried away at times." Mai-Li said apologetically as she saw Cato's look. "I call that one the Rondine. I keep hoping that someone will be interested in it. I sometimes attract customers who are willing to pay a hefty price for my work. But, as you and the Chief Inspector are more or less family and you're in need of a vehicle, I'll let you have one at no charge."

"Well, maybe we'll just leave the Rondine here alone for now." Cato stated.

"This one looks magnifique!" Clouseau mused as he walked over to a hardtop 1957 Cheverolet Corvette. It was metallic black with a graphite trim and had an extended chin spoiler above the front wheels, a roll cage in the passenger compartment, dual 'shotgun' exhaust pipes, a hood with vent slats in it, a ducktail spoiler on the rear, white wall tires and wire mesh rims.

"You have excellent taste, Chief Inspector." Mai-Li nodded. "I call that one the BlackFin. It's one of my best projects."

"So then, can we use it?" Cato inquired.

Mai-Li nodded and handed the keys to Clouseau. "Just be careful, alright?"

"It will be perfectly safe in our hands." Clouseau beamed as he accepted the keys.

Bogota, Colombia...

DeMarco reversed the Monroe into the garage of his safe house not long after one of Yuri's Floating Discs had dropped him off.

"Are you sure this is wise?" Yuri asked him over his radio.

"If the Death From Above plan and that squad of Slabs we have back in Venezuela do somehow fail, I will take on the Cannonballers personally." smirked DeMarco. "I especially hope that it's those weakling fools Chaos and Fury! It's high time they fell to my power!"

"You realize you're starting to talk crazy even when you're not wearing the mask?" Yuri asked.

"You need not concern yourself with that, comrade." DeMarco grinned as he signed off and used a remote to close the garage door from inside the car.

"Anytime now, losers!" he thought to himself nastily.

Ron Burgundy approached the men's room at the Four Dragons ballroom. President Harris stood outside.

"Is he still in there?" Ron asked.

"You better believe it." Harris replied. "It's not the first time I've seen a grown man cry, but it is one of the most pathetic times."

"I'll talk to him." Ron nodded as he went into the men's room.

The doors to all four stalls were shut, but Ron could clearly hear Lazlow sobbing to himself.

"Come on, Lazlow." Ron cajoled. "You're not achieving anything by doing this."

"Just go away!" Lazlow snapped from inside one of the stalls.

"I will find you, sonny boy." Ron remarked as he began to push open the doors to the stalls. He found the first three to be empty.

"I know where you are now." Ron stated as he went to the door of the final stall which was locked. "Don't think that standing on the toilet with the lid closed is going to help you either."

"Why don't just let my career die a miserable death?!" Lazlow growled from inside the stall. "Misty was right! I have been a jerk for most of my career. Things were good for a while back when I did Chatterbox. I had a wife, I had a future. I was one of the few sane people in Liberty City! Then all that payola crap from V-Rock came back to bite me in the ass! I got divorced. I've been so desperate to stay on the air that I've done God-knows how many things that are so undignified! I have a knack for pissing people off! Hell, it was because I pissed this movie producer guy off that I got that tattoo. I'm a joke! A bad friggin' joke!"

"Did it feel good getting that out of your system?" Ron asked after a brief silence.

"Yes, it actually did." Lazlow sighed as he ceased to cry.

"Look, there are times that we all hit rock bottom at some point. I know that I did and it was because I had been a jerk as well. But I found my way up again. I think that Veronica and I can help you if you'll let us."

Lazlow unlocked the door to the stall and stepped out.

"You would do that for me?" Lazlow asked, sounding genuinely touched.

"Absolutely." Ron nodded. "As long as you promise to lay off the sauce for the rest of the race. Can you do that?"

Lazlow set his jaw strongly. "Yes. I can and I will."

"If it helps, I could arrange for you to have words with one or more members of Love Fist later on as I heard it was them who took that photo." Ron grinned.

"That could be fun." Lazlow nodded.

"Nothing too severe, though." Ron warned as he extended a warning finger.

"Of course not." Lazlow innocently agreed.

"Now then, are you ready to go and remind us why you graduated at the head of your class in broadcasting school back in '85?" Ron laughed as he patted Lazlow's shoulder.

"Hell yeah!" Lazlow yelled happily.

"Then, let's go!" Ron cheered as he and Lazlow high-fived.

The Ignition drove on a highway near the Orinoco River in Venezuela. Body Drop still kept an eye on their sensors.

"There's one more of those robo-cars left." Tombstone remarked. "It's worrying me that we haven't found it yet."

"True." Jesse added. "Maybe it's waiting until it can get us alone and make us pay for taking the other two out."

Body Drop suddenly got a signal and heard Pat Benatar's "You Better Run" playing over an expensive stereo system. Leigh the Camaro pulled out from a lay-by and began to chase the Ignition, getting on its back bumper very fast.

"You have a VERY big mouth, man!" Body Drop groaned as Jesse put his foot down and tried to keep ahead of Leigh as she continued to snap at their heels.

The chase continued for a few miles on the winding road, with Jesse taking sharp turns to try and lose Leigh. But she managed to keep on the Ignition's tail and kept chasing after them.

Jesse upshifted and got a lead on Leigh. He then noticed a tree-pruning crane trimming some bushes by the left side of the road over a very rocky downward slope.

Jesse pressed the appropriate switch and lowered the Ignition's suspension. This enabled the Volvo to slip under the extended crane arm and through the small gap left by it.

Leigh couldn't stop in time and there was no way for her to slip through the gap. She swerved hard left and went over the edge of the incline.

Leigh drove down the rocky slope with the steep grade rapidly taking her out of control and causing her to get more and more damaged with each rock and boulder she bounced off.

The Ignition had continued on the road it was on which looped around to the bottom of the slope. At the right side of the road near the bottom of the slope was a sheer 100-foot drop into a canyon. Jesse smugly brought the Ignition to a stop as Leigh reached the bottom of the slope.

She was now very badly damaged and only just managed to brake. Her front end dangled off the edge of the chasm and she struggled to keep herself from falling off.

Jesse got out of the Ignition and walked over to the imperiled Leigh with a grin on his face.

Leigh's stereo came on again. It played Culture Club's "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?" Jesse reached into his pants pocket and pulled out his cellphone. He called up a playlist on Spotify and hit "play" on the cued up song, holding up the phone so Leigh could hear it.

It was "Oh Yeah" by Yello.

Jesse drove his foot into Leigh's back bumper. It was enough to cause Leigh to fall over the edge and into the chasm.

Jesse watched for a few more seconds until Leigh hit the bottom of the canyon and exploded. He grinned to himself.

"Chicka chick-ah!" he whispered as he turned the song off.

Somewhere near Puerto Ayacucho, the Punisher rode along on the Avenger. He heard the roar of about six motorcycle engines and turned to see six Slabs on Honda Enduro dirt bikes chasing him.

Frank smiled as he knew that the Slabs were mechanical. It meant that for once, he could use lethal force. He let the lead cycle get close enough to his back wheel and then pressed a switch on his right handlebar.

The rear licence plate of the Avenger lowered to reveal double shotgun barrels.

Frank hit the switch again and the blast from the shotgun mod blew the lead Slab and its bike to pieces in a fiery explosion. The other five Slabs tried to get close to avenge their fallen comrade, but Frank moved fast and blew each and every one of them away with quick shotgun blasts from the rear of the Avenger.

As the last rider fell, Frank grinned to himself.

"And they said that mod was a waste of money." he scoffed to himself.

Puerto Carreno, Colombia...

Most of the pack had now crossed over the border into Colombia and were now in the country which was the final leg of the Latin America portion of the race before the bridge in San Sombrero. All teams had received the news that San Sombrero was now passable and pulled all stops out to get there.

Some teams were a bit more relaxed than others at this time. One example was Team Margera.

The Tempest had stopped at a local Wigwam Burger and Bam Margera sat in the driver's seat whilst a lovely local senorita sat in the passenger seat next to him. They both giggled as they enjoyed some of their takeout food.

Tony and Torquenstein were likewise entertaining another local girl in the back seat as they shared each other's fries.

They were so busy having a good time that none of them had noticed the BlackFin pull up to the traffic lights just adjacent to the burger joint's parking lot.

Clouseau lowered the window and lowered his sunglasses.

"Oh, Monsieur Branleur!" he cooed in a musical tone.

Bam looked over and looked shocked when he saw Clouseau and Cato in their new, very cool car.

"Bet you can't catch me!" Clouseau smirked as he revved the BlackFin's engine.

"Shit!" yelled Bam as he dropped his burger.

"You're gonna clean that up!" Torquenstein snapped as Bam put on his seatbelt.

Bam got ready to start the Tempest.

"HEY! Safety first!" Tony warned as he handed Bam and the girl in the front a helmet each.

"Seriously?!" Bam complained. "You're doing this now?!"

"We have passengers!" Tony replied as if questioning Bam's perception of the obvious.

The light turned green and the BlackFin roared off, with the song "Metal Thrashing Mad" by Anthrax blaring over the radio.

Bam hurriedly tried to start the Tempest up, but the engine stalled on him.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL..." he broke off in anger as the BlackFin was now far away from them.

The two girls looked disgusted.

"(You suck, Margera!)" one of them announced as she and her friend climbed out.

Bam banged his head off the dashboard.

"You're paying for that as well!" Torquenstein warned.

Twenty minutes later...

The BlackFin was parked on an overlook at the edge of the city.

Cato looked smug as the Tempest finally drove up the incline and came to a halt near them.

Bam rolled down his window and sighed.

"So, I guess this is where you run us in." he grimly stated.

"Not necessary." Clouseau beamed. "I think that being beaten by the great Clouseau is suitable enough punishment for you. We'll let you be on your way."

"You may want to rethink your lives." Cato chipped in.

"We WILL win this race." Bam growled. "You'll see."

"Maybe we will." Clouseau smirked. "But, for now, we must bid you adieu."

"A deer? Where?" asked Tony.

"Ah, ah, ah." Clouseau warned as he wagged a finger. "I beat you. You have lost the right to mock my accent."

He and Cato got back in the BlackFin and both cars drove off.

As night began to fall once more, Wonder Woman drove the Infinito on a highway near Bucaramanga. Batman navigated whilst the Flash slept off his tiredness from driving for the past hundred miles.

"Do you think that maybe those three who tried to frame Lara may have been lying about that Death From Above business?" Batman asked.

Suddenly, a bright light from above enveloped the Infinito as a Floating Disc hovered over it keeping pace with it.

"I don't think so." Wonder Woman clenched her teeth. "Hang on! I'll try and lose them!".

There was the sound of an air horn and a semi truck full of Slab troops got behind the Infinito and kept it in the beam from the Disc. The electrical system of the Infinito began to shut down.

"Damn! That beam's a kill switch!" Wonder Woman yelled. "Death From Above makes sense now."

Wonder Woman tried to coax some more speed out of the faltering Infinito, but the truck behind them was moving fast and made sure that it kept them under the beam.

The Detector came up on the highway behind the attack vehicle and its team saw the trouble the Justice League representatives were having.

"We can't have this now, can we?" asked 99.

"No way!" Natalie replied.

"Get alongside the driver's side of the truck!" Alex ordered.

99 pulled the Detector up to the driver's side door of the truck.

The Slab driving the truck looked briefly over and saw Dylan and Alex in the front of the Detector. They smirked and waved at the Slab.

The Slab driver turned its attention back to the Infinito and made sure that it was still trapped under the kill switch beam from the Disc.

A beat later, the Slab turned back to look at the Detector and now saw only Dylan in the front seat driving the car.

Before the Slab could react, Alex quickly threw herself through the open window of the driver's door from where she had jumped onto the truck. She gave a powerful kick to the Slab driver and pushed him out of the passenger side door with sheer force. She then grabbed the truck's steering wheel and began to swerve the truck wildly, tossing the Slabs stationed in the bed of the truck out on to the highway.

"Twist and shout!" Alex cheered to herself as she dropped the truck back and reversed over the Slabs, crushing them flat.

Wonder Woman grinned and activated the Infinito's nitrous and was able to get out of the field of the kill switch beam.

The Slabs on board the Disc flew after the Justice League team and tried to catch them in the beam once more.

A hatch on the side of the Disc opened and a few Slab units armed with laser rifles began to open fire.

"Nat! Get ready to go!" Dylan growled as she swerved slightly down an incline to the right side of the road. Natalie got ready to leap from her window as Dylan hit the nitrous.

The Detector roared up the incline again and launched into the air. Natalie drew her gun and leapt from the window as the Detector was in mid-air. She was able to dive through the open hatch and open fire on the Slabs onboard the Disc.

Wonder Woman had noticed this and decided to join in the attack.

"Trade places, Bruce!" she ordered as she and Batman swapped seats and Batman put his foot on the gas. Wonder Woman reached into the footwell and pulled out her sword and shield.

"Did you happen to invest in ejector seats?" she asked Batman.

"Of course." Batman grinned. "You can never be too prepared."

Wonder Woman braced herself as Batman activated the roof panel and then triggered the ejector seat.

Wonder Woman was shot up into the air and landed on the roof of the low-flying Disc. She threw a powerful punch into the metal on the top and made a hole which she dived through.

"YES!" Alex cheered from the driver's seat of the truck.

"Can they handle it?" asked 99.

The Disc began to wobble erratically and was unable to fly in a straight line. Dents started to form on the sides of it from where Slabs had been slammed into the walls.

"I'd say that's a 'yes'." Dylan beamed.

As the Disc tried to corrrect its course, another hatch on the opposite side opened and a triumphant Natalie and Wonder Woman appeared. Natalie was still facing inside and firing her gun.

"We have to go NOW!" Wonder Woman yelled as Batman steadied the Infinito beneath them. Wonder Woman grabbed Natalie by the waist as they prepared to jump. At the last minute, one Slab with a laser rifle and a bandoleer of grenades appeared in the hatch and tried to grab Natalie. Natalie quickly pistol whipped the Slab and kicked it in the head as she and Wonder Woman jumped and landed safely in the Infinito through the still-open ejector roof.

The Slab lined the two heroines up in the crosshairs of its rifle. It saw that Natalie had her hand in the air, giving the middle finger. It then saw that the pin from a grenade was wrapped around said finger.

It looked down and saw that, sure enough, one of the grenades on its bandoleer had the pin removed from it.

A split second later, the grenade detonated and the Disc was destroyed.

"Oh, CRAP!" Dylan and Alex chorused in their respective vehicles as they swerved to avoid the falling wreck of the kill switch Disc. They managed to avoid a disaster and caught up with the Infinito which had come to a halt.

"Sorry about that, you guys." Natalie shrugged.

"It's weird not hearing Max say that to the Chief for once." 99 beamed.

"So, chalk another one up to the good guys then." Dylan grinned as she gave a thumbs-up.

Wonder Woman saw that the Flash was still fast asleep.

"Amazing." she sighed as she shook her head. "Running as fast as he does really does tire him out after a while."

"Okay. Let's just regroup and then amscray." Alex nodded.

"Here we are." said Eric as the drove the Reckless to Castillo San Felipe de Barajas. "Last stop of the puzzle hunt. Kelso, this is where it ends. Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Hell, yeah." said Kelso. "I'm telling you. I can do this."

"Kelso, I don't care about the bet any more." said Fez. "Right now, I'm genuinely concerned about you."

"Relax, I've come this far." said Kelso. "I can keep going to the end. And then..."

"I know. I know." said Hyde.

"Well, let's get this over with." said Eric.

They climbed out of the car and approached the other teams. Lone Wolf and Mitzi stood in front of the group.

"Everyone here?" asked Mitzi. "Good. Okay, I'm sure you're all wondering what the task this time is."

"Thought had crossed my mind." said Willy.

"Well, under this castle is a series of tunnels." said Lone Wolf. "You might call it a maze. You'd also be right. Can you guess what your task is?"

"Would it have something to do with navigating the maze?" asked Mason.

"Yes, it does!" said Mitzi. "After you've chosen your representatives, they will be taken into the maze and released to find their way out. The first participant to exit through the main tunnel entrance wins. Teams, pick your victims."

Kelso stepped foward again.

"Kelso, I'm sorry." said Lone Wolf. "I didn't realize you were teamed with a bunch of lazy bums."

"It's part of a bet." said Kelso.

Charlie stepped forward for his team with Spike and Venom stepping forward as well.

"That's four." said Mitzi. "Who else will compete?"

"My turn." said Corvax as he stepped up. "This is an important task which cannot be trusted with a couple of idiots."

"Huh huh." laughed Butthead. "Idiots. Huh huh. Wait a minute."

"Like, do you have to be human to do this?" asked Shaggy. "Because Scoobs wanted to take his turn."

"Scooby Doo!" said the dog.

"Okay, that's all of them." said Lone Wolf. "Prepare for the challenge."

Officials walked up behind the competitiors and wrapped blndfolds around their heads.

"This sure brings back memories." said Kelso.

"Kelso!" whispered Eric.

"What? I'm talking about 'Pin the Tail on the Donkey' at Jackie's seventh birthday party. What did you think I meant?"

"Okay, let's go." said Mitzi.

Back near Bogota, the Falcon and the Licorne had met up with each other. Captain Chaos and Captain Fury talked to each other.

"I just heard on the radio that DeMarco's Death From Above met its own end." Fury stated.

"It nearly succeeded, though. And I sense that Total Anarchy is nearby." Chaos added. "You say there is no doubt that DeMarco is in possession of that power now."

"Certain." Fury replied. "I think it is time we put an end to this and bring the villain to justice, Captain."

"You are right, fellow Captain." Chaos nodded.

Their respective teams stood nearby and listened.

"Are you guys sure this is a good idea?" Donkey asked.

"The combined forces of Chaos and Fury have defeated Total Anarchy before." Chaos grinned. "We shall triumph once again."

"I frackin' hope so." Jay mumbled.

"You guys really can sense Total Anarchy?" Fiona inquired.

"Without a doubt!" Fury remarked. "He is very near here."

"Then, let us go dispense justice!" Chaos cheered as he and Fury clasped hands.

"Okay, remove the blindfolds." said Mitzi.

The puzzle hunt participants removed their blindfolds and found themselves in a deep recess in the maze.

"As far as starting places go, this is not bad." said Spike.

"When do we start?" asked Charlie.

"Right...now!" said Mitzi.

Everybody took off walking.

"Okay, I have to keep from making the same mistakes I've been making." said Kelso.

Venom walked past in the background.

"If I want to gain an advantage on these guys, I have to be smart." said Kelso.

Corvax walked past in the background.

"I know this is me I'm talking about, but I can pull one out." said Kelso.

Spike walked past in the background.

"Now, what can I do to keep this from being a disaster?" asked Kelso.

Venom walked past in the background.

"What can I do to find the exit faster than anyone else?" asked Kelso.

Corvax walked past in the background.

"Uh, Corvax?" asked Kelso. "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to find my way out of the maze." said Corvax.

"How?" asked Kelso.

"By following Venom, of course." said Corvax as Spike came around the corner.

"You're following me?" asked Venom as he came around the corner. "Pick a different tactic, I'm following Spike."

"I'm following Corvax." said Spike.

"Unbelievable." said Kelso.

"Well, time's wasting." said Venom. He immediately took off down a path.

"See you at the finish." said Corvax. He took off down another path.

"Try to keep up." said Spike. He took off down a third path.

"Fine!" yelled Kelso. He started down yet another path. "I don't need to follow anyone! I can just..."

He stepped on a stone that broke under his weight. He jumped forward, stopped, and turned around.

"Ha ha, nice try." he said.

The spot he stopped on collapsed and he fell into a hole.

"Ah, come on!" he yelled.

The Falcon and the Licorne pulled up in front of DeMarco's safe house. The two Captains had been able to find it due to their sensing of Total Anarchy's presence.

Chaos and Fury got out of their vehicles and approached the house.

"I'll see if I can get the front door open." Fury announced.

Chaos saw that the side door to the garage was open.

"This looks promising." he remarked.

"Careful. It could be a trap." Jay warned.

"Not to worry." Chaos assured his team-mates as he went through the side door.

The garage appeared empty from what Chaos could see. He walked over to a table with some automotive tools on it. On the table he saw detailed instructions for George Bluth Sr.'s Cornballer device.

"Ouch." he muttered to himself as he remembered what he had heard about the accidents the Cornballer had caused.

Suddenly, the side door to the garage slammed shut seemingly of its own free will and Chaos was bathed in bright headlights.

The Monroe was at the rear of the garage with a gleeful DeMarco sitting at the wheel.

"Looking both ways doesn't just apply when you cross the street, my foolish friend." DeMarco gloated as his voice was amplified by the power of Total Anarchy.

Chaos quickly looked around and saw that the main garage door was slightly raised. He tried to head towards it, but DeMarco suddenly accelerated and nearly ran him over.

Chaos had ducked out of the way just in time. DeMarco reversed the Monroe back to where he had parked it before and began to rev the vintage Lamborghini's engine.

Chaos fought for breath as the garage started to fill with carbon monoxide gas. DeMarco laughed and honked the horn repeatedly. He eventually held his hand on the horn for so long that it caused a huge crescendo and made most of the windows in the safe house break.

"SHIT!" Jay yelled outside. "I knew it would be a freakin' trap!"

Covering his mouth, Chaos made a move for the main garage door again. DeMarco once again accelerated forward. But this time, Chaos moved out of the way and quickly rolled over the Monroe's hood and threw himself through the side door he had come through.

DeMarco howled in a fury and put his foot down.

The Monroe crashed through the main garage door and narrowly missed hitting the Falcon and Licorne as DeMarco fled.

Chaos and Fury ran for their vehicles.

"That villain shall not escape!" yelled Fury as both Cannonball vehicles took off after their adversary.

Kelso stopped at an intersection. He looked around confused.

Charlie walked up to him. "Hey, are you alright?" he asked.

"I am so totally lost." said Kelso. "I keep feeling like I'm never getting out of here."

"I'm not sure where I'm going either." said Charlie.

"Oh yeah?" asked Kelso. "You think you're lost too?"

"A little." said Charlie.

"Okay, little guy." said Kelso. "I'm sure if we put our heads together, we can think of a way out of this maze."

"What do you have in mind?" asked Charlie.

Kelso stopped to think and heard a whooshing sound.

"The wind!" he said. "The wind is blowing through the maze from outside. If we follow it, we can find the exit!"

"See?" asked Charlie. "We're not so lost after all!"

"Split city." said Kelso as he and Charlie took off after the wind.

Outside, Mitzi stood in front of a camera with the fortress in the background.

"So far, none of the participants have made it out of the maze." she said. "However, we have some reports of promising entrants."

Kelso and Charlie crawled through an opening on the roof and stood up. Kelso looked over the edge and froze.

"If these puzzle hunters can figure out the trick, soon we'll answer that all important question..."

"How did we get up here?" yelled Kelso.

The Falcon and the Licorne were roaring down the highway outside of Bogota in pursuit of the Monroe. The power of Total Anarchy appeared to be giving DeMarco a speed boost as well.

"Hang on! I'll kick in the nitrous!" Fury yelled to his team.

Silent Bob, driving the Falcon, did the same as both Cannonball teams got a boost and kept up their pursuit.

"Come on, you dickwads!" DeMarco growled as he picked up a machine pistol from under his seat and lowered his window.

He put his hand out the window and fired a few shots at his pursuers.

Chaos held out his hands and caused a protective shield to block the gunfire.

"How did you know you could do that?" Puss asked over the CB.

"I didn't." Chaos chuckled. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Whoa! Hit the brakes!" Donkey yelled as he pointed out a sign warning that the road ahead was closed due to highway repairs.

The Falcon and the Licorne came to a halt. DeMarco had failed to see the sign, however.

The Monroe crashed through the barriers and went out of control.

DeMarco managed to kick his door open and throw himself from the Monroe before it went over the edge of an incline and exploded as it crashed.

Teams Chaos and Fury stared in shock as DeMarco levitated himself up into the air.

"You win this round, Cannonball Captains." DeMarco thundered. "But next time, victory shall be mine! The Cannonballers will hear from me again!"

DeMarco shot up into the air and flew away.

Brodie removed the Chaos mask in shock.

Fiona shrugged. "It looks like that friend of yours will have a lot to work with if he does that Captain Chaos comic book, Brodie."

The teams returned to their cars and headed off on an alternate route.

"It has now been over an hour and no one has come close to the exit." said Lone Wolf.

"I don't know why that is." said Mitzi. "Thousands of tourists visit this place every year and explore the tunnels. Surely a group of savvy motivated race drivers can make their way through the maze."

"I bet you wish you could go in there and help." said Daphne.

"Like, yeah." said Shaggy. "I know he's alone in the dark and scared. Oh, Scoobs. Please hold it together."

"Now, Shaggy." said Daphne. "We've encountered worse things. I'm sure Scooby's handling it well."

"I guess." said Shaggy.

Daphne walked away.

"Scooby Doo!" yelled Shaggy. "Where are you?"

Daphne walked over to Fred and Velma as they set up a barbecue grill.

"Shaggy's still worried for him." said Daphne.

"I'm worried too." said Fred. "We've never left him alone this long before."

"That's why we're preparing a barbecue." said Velma. "He's sure to want something to eat by the time he gets out of there."

In the maze...

"Okay, we've already gone this way." said Kelso as he pointed down one tunnel.

"That way's been done too." said Venom.

"That's the way we came from." said Charlie.

"Did they say we couldn't use a map?" asked Spike.

"That would have been a good idea." said Corvax.

Outside...

"Barbecue's up and running." said Fred as a fire burned in the grill.

"Ready to add the meat?" asked Daphne.

"Hit it." said Fred.

Daphne dropped a few hamburger patties on the grill.

"Mmm, you can smell that meat cooking." said Shaggy.

In the tunnels...

"Unless we get a serious hint, we may be trapped here forever." said Kelso.

"How long before that becomes the new normal?" asked Spike.

Scooby Doo suddenly got excited. He sniffed the air and became even more excited. He ran down one tunnel.

"Where's he going?" asked Venom.

"Follow him." said Charlie.

They ran after him. Minutes later, Scooby ran through the exit of the tunnel and over to his friends.

"Scoobs!" yelled Shaggy.

"We have a winner!" said Mitzi as the others ran through the tunnel exit.

Scooby grabbed a hamburger patty right off the grill and ate it.

"Hey, no fair!" said Venom. "The rules said no outside help!"

"Jinkies, we didn't realize Scooby's sense of smell was that good." said Velma.

"She makes a good point." said Lone Wolf. "Team Mystery Incorporated, congratulations on being the winners of the South America Puzzle Hunt!"

"But that's so unfair." said Kelso. "The rest of us slam into walls, fall down stairs, set ourselves on fire, and fall into holes and they're the ones who win?"

"Oh, on that note..." said Mitzi. "Michael Kelso, for your dedication to the puzzle hunt and completing all four tasks yourself, we have gotten you this special prize of twenty thousand dollars!"

"No way, really?" said Kelso.

"Congratulations." said Lone Wolf.

"Hold on, I have something to say first." said Kelso. He turned to Venom and said "Burn!" He went to Charlie and said "Burn!" He went to Corvax and said "Burn!" He went to Spike and said "Burn!"

Finally, he marched over to Hyde and crossed his arms.

"Don't say it." said Hyde.

Within a few hours, the Cannonballers had crossed into the newly-liberarted San Sombrero now that traffic flow had more or less returned to normal. Team Disney drove through a small town in the San Abandonio Province.

They tried to look nonchalant by following the flow of traffic. There was one car in front of them and one behind them as they approached a set of traffic lights where the green light was displayed.

Suddenly, the light abruptly turned red. The car in front of them braked suddenly and Herbie managed to stop short of rear-ending it. The car behind them braked a fraction too late and was right on Herbie's back bumper.

"This doesn't look good." Goofy moaned.

Team Disney sat waiting for the light to change, but after about thirty seconds, the red light still showed.

"Ahhh, PHOOEY!" Donald yelled in frustration.

Herbie quickly turned all four of his wheels to the right and drove sideways out of his boxed-in position. He was free to move.

Just as the light turned green, Herbie popped another wheelie and drove off.

"Now that's more like it!" cheered Mickey.

Elsewhere in the San Abandonio Province, the Asp drove through the township of Tinea.

As Westlake drove, the Asp's engine stalled slightly and the Asp came to a halt as she tried to start it up again.

"Quickly! Let's get out of here!" Cole urged.

"What's the problem?" asked Joe.

"Do you know how this town makes money besides from the tourist trade?" Cole asked in urgent exasperation.

"From hijacking passing vehicles?" scoffed Westlake. "That's bound to be just a myth."

"Wanna bet?" asked Cole as he gestured to the outside of the Asp.

A large booster gang began to surround them. They were armed with bricks, crowbars, and various other carjacking tools and they all wore nasty smiles on their faces.

"Relax, fellas. I've got this." Westlake grinned as she flipped a switch on the dash.

"Buenos dias." the gang leader grinned as he approached the driver's side door. "You must be very hot in that car. Allow me to assist you."

The leader went to open the door. He rapidly yelped in pain as he touched the door handle and felt great heat from it. Westlake had activated a heat generator.

One of the other gang members got ready to throw a brick just as Westlake pressed the button for the Asp's hologram projector.

The gang member threw the brick and it bounced harmlessly off the Asp's armoured body. As it did, the hologram projector came on and projected the image of the Asp being consumed by a huge fire over its bodywork. The heat generator added to the charade and the booster gang was terrified.

"(Who started the fire?)" one of them yelled.

"(Who cares?! Let's get out of here!)" another yelled as the gang ran off.

Team Viper cheered. "Great thinking, partner!" Joe smirked at Westlake as she got the engine started again.

"I think I'll leave the hologram running until we're out of town." westlake announced. "Just so we don't have any more trouble."

"Great thinking once again." nodded Cole as they drove off, with the Asp still appearing to be on fire.

A private jet marked with the symbol of PALM was flying towards Australia. On board were Lester and the recently freed Garthe Knight.

"I knew that Kuna wouldn't forget me when PALM took over as the army for Dorajland." Garthe smirked as he and Lester toasted with their champagne glasses.

"It also helped that President Jarod has influential friends and was so busy trying to juggle paperwork and a game of 'Tetris' that he didn't read the name of the person who was being pardoned." Lester agreed.

"What was he told exactly?" Garthe curiously inquired.

"Merely that the man who was to be pardoned was a faithful patron of PALM who had been unjustly imprisoned by meddlers from the United States who had no business interfering with African affairs." Lester replied.

"Excellent." Garthe grinned. "I know we don't have time to rebuild Goliath right now, but just give me a vehicle when we get to Australia and I will rain down all kinds of hell on Michael Knight when the Cannonballers reach the country!"

"Will do. Mr. DeMarco will make sure of it." Lester nodded as the plane flew onwards.

Shawn and Gus walked into the command center for the race.

"How's the investigation going?" asked Brock.

"We just need to a make a trip to the East Coast. It looks like our perp is a notorious Empire City criminal." Shawn stated. "But we're sure she will be in custody soon."

"Hey, is this the leaderboard?" asked Gus.

"Yes, it is." said Brock.

"Who may I ask is in front?" asked Shawn.

"Team Rocket is in front with Team NUMA not far behind." said Brock.

Shawn suddenly fell over onto Gus who caught him.

"Are you alright?" asked Brock.

"Yeah, I'm okay." said Shawn as he stood up again. "I think I just had some kind of psychic sensation. Who did you say was in the lead?"

"Team Rocket." said Brock.

Shawn fell over again. Gus caught him again.

"What's wrong?" asked Brock.

"There's a disturbance in the Force." said Shawn as he stood back up. "Something about Team Rocket. Do you know if they have any connections to criminals?"

"Are you kidding?" asked Brock. "Wait, are you suggesting they have something to do with the heist?"

"Ah!" said Shawn as he grabbed his head. "There is a connection!"

Brock got on the communicator. "Highway, this is Brock. Mr. Spencer says that Team Rocket has something to do with the prize money heist. I want you to detain them for questioning."

The Peligro drove along through San Sombrero.

"I can't believe we're actually in the lead." said James.

"Just try to make it last, okay?" said Jessie.

"Don't worry." said James. "I'm going to do my best to maintain this as long as possible."

That's when Highway appeared behind them on his Turbo Cycle. He switched on his lights.

"Oh great." said Giovanni. "What does he want?"

James pulled over. Highway pulled in behind him and dismounted.

"What seems to be the problem, officer?" asked James.

"Do you know anything about a heist at race headquarters?" asked Highway.

"What kind of a heist?" asked James.

"I can't say at this time." said Highway. "We have an investigator on the case and he says he has a lead that points to your team."

"What?" asked James. "What kind of lead is it?"

"A psychic vision apparently." said Highway.

"Are you kidding me?" asked James.

"I'm afraid not." said Highway as the Panama raced past.

"Oh, Team Rocket's been busted!" said Giordino.

"Wait, that was one of the protectors." said Gunn. "Why did he pull over a race participant?"

"It's Team Rocket." said Pitt. "That's reason enough."

"Hey, how much further to the bridge to Australia?" asked Giordino.

"Not much really." said Pitt. "I'd say about twenty kilometers."

"The Panama is now in the lead." said Victor.

"Highway is questioning Team Rocket right now." said Brock. "They appear to know nothing about the heist."

"Wait." said Shawn. "False alarm. Sorry about that. It happens once in a while. I get a false reading. The fates seem to have a sense of humor."

"Oh, I see." said Brock. He went to the communicator and said "Highway, it's Brock. Set Team Rocket free. It was a false alarm."

"Got it, sir." said Highway.

"Sorry, I'll try to be right next time." said Shawn.

He and Gus left the command center and walked into the betting parlor.

"What do you think, Gus?" asked Shawn.

"I think we've got a new lead to check out in Empire City." said Gus. "But, as I said before, how do we check it out on our budget? I've only got forty dollars left. That's not going to cover plane tickets, gas AND the hotel bill."

"Don't worry about it." said Shawn.

"Okay, the first car has reached the bridge." said Randal.

"Checking our sources, it appears to be...the Panama!" said Dante.

"Panama in South America." said Randal. "It looks like our lucky winner is...Shawn Spencer!"

"And Mr. Spencer is the proud winner of five thousand dollars from us for his bet coming through." Dante beamed as Randal began to count out the money.

"I think we'll manage." said Shawn to Gus.

As Michael Bluth drove the Ambitious towards the bridge to Australia, Tobias leaned forward doing something vigorously with his hands in his lap under the dashboard.

"Don't worry. It's not what you think."

"Yes, that should do it." he smirked with satisfaction. He came up and showed that he had Buster's prosthetic hand in his hands.

"You found it!" Buster cheered. "Now I can finally ditch the claw!"

"Exactly." Tobias replied. "Your hand here had rolled under the seat when we arrived back in Las Venturas at the start. There was several continents' worth of dust and grime on it from where we'd been eating and drinking all that time. So, I went at it with the moist towelettes and cleaning products from the glove compartmemnt. I'd say it turned out to be a completely thorough and satisfactory handj..."

"DON'T even think about it!" Michael warned as he raised a finger.

"What did I say?" Tobias grumbled in genuine confusion as he gave Buster back his hand.

The reporters had all gathered to address the camera at Race Central. Lazlow had cleaned himself up a bit and now looked very professional in his appearance.

"Glad to see you back, Lazlow." Veronica complimented. "You look a lot better."

"Thanks, Veronica." Lazlow nodded. "I feel a lot better now that I realized I'd been making a fool of myself before and have now had the chance to come to my senses. For the rest of the race, you will get nothing but the utmost professionalism from me and no more horseplay."

"We're glad to hear that." Ron added. "Now, as you the audience no doubt know by now, the Cannonballers are all beginning to cross the trans-continental bridge into Australia. We expect that they will all have made the crossing by early tomorrow morning. After that, there will only be the continent of Asia to go and then the final stretch."

"And so, here to close out the South America leg of the race are Love Fist!" Misty cheered as Love Fist took the stage. As they took up their instruments, Percy and Willy looked at the backs of their guitars and looked a bit worried about something. Whatever it was, they quickly switched back into performance mode as Jezz gave the countdown from four and they began the song.

Running from the nightmare,
In the middle of the road.
Hell's no place for sleeping,
In a world beyond control.

Caught in the headlights,
Coming after you.
When I woke up this morning,
I had to do what I gotta do.

Blast me to Heaven for loving you.
Blast me to Heaven for loving you.

Speed.
Give me what I need.
Yeah!
White lightning.
Let's speed, on speed.
On wheels, on wheels.

Speed.
Oh, let it bleed.
Yeah!
Greased lightning.
Let's speed, on speed.
On wheels, on wheels.

I've seen a train full of pain.
On the edge of overload.
We're in Heaven, baby.
You are gonna implode.

I've got these crazy feelings.
That I can't explain.
I've gotta save you baby.
Or I'll die in vain.

Blast me to Heaven for loving you.
I said blast me to Heaven just for loving you.

I said speed.
Give me what I need.
Yeah!
White lightning.
Let's speed, on speed.
On wheels, on wheels.

Speed.
Oh, let it bleed.
Yeah!
Greased lightning.
Let's speed, on speed.
On wheels, on wheels.

Blast me to Heaven for loving you.
I said blast me to Heaven for loving you.

Now I'm rushing on the run, yeah.
I wanna have me some fun.

I'll speed.
Give me what I need.
Oh, set me free.
Let's speed.
On wheels, on wheels, on wheels.

Said speed.
Oh, let it bleed.
Yeah!
White lightning.
Let's speed, on speed.
On wheels, on wheels.

Come on!

I said speed, speed.
Give me what I need.
I said speed, speed.
Give me what I need.
Alright.

-"Speed" by Billy Idol.

As the song finished, Love Fist took their bow. As they went offstage, Jezz gave a concerned look to Percy and Willy.

"What was with you two?" he asked.

"This was on the back of my guitar." Percy stated as he handed over a photograph. Jezz looked at it. It was a photo of Percy with a huge grin on his face taking a selfie with the members of Duran Duran.

"I thought you said you deleted that photo!" Jezz hissed angrily.

"I thought I had!" Percy protested.

"Look at what I got!" Willy whispered as he handed over the photo that had been on the back of his bass guitar. It was a picture of a pair of dental pliers.

Jezz looked very concerned about that as Willy showed him the gold tooth he had put in to replace the previous one he had got knocked out in Los Santos.

"Ye ken right well that I never would have agreed to come back to the States if I wis gonna lose a tooth again!" Willy hissed.

"Relax, man." Dick assured. "It's probably just someone takin' the piss."

"I hope so." Percy mumbled. "I hope it wasn't that nutter we thought Tommy took care of back in '86."

"Or that Canadian nutter who knocked my tooth out to begin with." Willy added.

"Dinnae worry. We'll be fine." Jezz stated. "We're the Four Scottish Horsemen of the Apocalypse after all. LOVE FIST!"

"LOVE FIST!" the other three triumphantly yelled as they raised their right fists along with Jezz.

The Falcon was now driving across the bridge to Australia. Brodie had taken the Chaos mask off.

"Hopefully we can now have a relaxed drive after dealing with that DeMarco crap for now." he sighed.

"Guy's a friggin' douche!" Jay grumbled. "And he ruined my enjoyment of a certain metal song thanks to that nickname of his."

"Well, just hold on. I'll put the radio on." Brodie grinned. "Maybe we'll find something relaxing to take our mind off him for a while.

Brodie turned the radio on and turned the knob until he found a channel.

He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood.
He's the one that makes ya feel alright.
He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood.
He's gonna be your Frankenstein.

Brodie rapidly turned the radio off as Jay and Silent Bob facepalmed themselves in frustration.

"Here! Just put this on!" Jay snapped as he handed Brodie a CD of the album 'Pandemonium' by the Time.

"Good. Something funky!" Brodie laughed. "That should really lighten the mood."

"WHAT TIME IS IT?!" Jay cheered in an imitation of Morris Day's voice.

As the album began, something bright appeared in the Falcon's rear-view. Brodie looked in the mirror and Jay and Silent Bob looked out the back window. They all looked stunned as the Asp came up alongside them. It still kept up its hologram of being ablaze and the heat generator still added to the illusion.

"Hey, you guys!" Westlake called out cheerily. "How's the race going?".

Brodie and Jay wanted to mention the Asp being on fire, but were both too stunned at Team Viper's nonchalance to do so.

"Fine. Just fine." Brodie stated with a cool head. "You havin' fun yourselves?"

"Best time we've had in quite a while." Joe nodded.

"Great weather for this time of year, huh?" Jay inquired casually.

"We hadn't really noticed." Cole replied.

Brodie and Jay nodded, but Silent Bob couldn't keep silent any more.

"That's probably because YOUR F-ING CAR IS ON FIRE!" he yelled in shock.

"Oh, right. Thanks for reminding me." Westlake blushed as she deactivated the hologram and the heat generator, leaving the Asp looking perfectly normal and undamaged.

Brodie and Jay now looked even more shocked.

"Long story." Westlake shrugged. "Now, we'll see you on the other side."

The Asp sped on as Team Chaos continued to look dumbfounded.

"I think I need to get back to rehab." Jay groaned.

As his forces regrouped, DeMarco had a conversation via Skype with Australian crime lord 'Big' Donnie Cannaglio. Like DeMarco himself, Big Donnie controlled the drug trade in Australia and had the added bonus of having prominent police figures under his thumb.

"You were wise to call, Jimmy mate." Donnie remarked. "I'm only to happy to help out a colleague. My contacts in the police force over here can even make sure that those CRAP blokes don't get in our way."

"Glad to hear it." DeMarco replied. "But I still want the Cannonballers demoralized. I thought for sure that taking down Lara Croft and her gang of bejumpsuited bimbos would have done that."

"Well, no offence, but the frame-job you tried to run was really lame, don't you think?" Donnie grinned. "But no worries. I'll show ya a frame-job for those shielas that you won't believe!"

"I think I get your drift." DeMarco grinned evilly.

To be continued...